Hello my lovelies! I've missed you so much… It's time for another update of your favorite Naruto Sci-Fi thriller: Men in Black: Dattebayo! This is Tara with your chapter update...
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Guest Sarah: Thank you for your kind words! Just for you, I'm making this chapter extra super long. (At least I'll try my best XP). But still, I'm going to try to make it at least close to 3,000 words. Thanks to MS Word, I can count have many words I've written...
I think it's time I tell you guys that haven't read my profile that SCHOOL FOR ME STARTS AUGUST 10, 2012. I am so sorry about this but I can do nothing about it. I'm going to be awfully busy after August ends (The first and last months of the year are pretty easy. Just tests to see how much you know and how much you've learned.) But I promise to keep my updates up! Now without further ado, I give you Chapter Six of Men in Black: Dattebayo!
Chapter Six: The Akatsuki
(Note: we're still in Gym Class!)
Sparring had officially ended for Sakura who was still on the bleachers napping peacefully. Karin had been sent to the nurse went multiple "Punchies" bruises on her face. Now Guy- sensei was busy trying to pry apart Naruto and Sasuke, who had once again tried to kill each other. Shikamaru had already beaten Lee, and was napping next to Sakura.
"GAH!" Kiba performed a solid cartwheel as he avoided an assault from Shino once more.
Ugh, dammit! How does he move so quickly with that heavy coat on all the time? It doesn't make sense!
Shino chuckled to himself, knowing that he had placed a mind reading robot-ant on Kiba while throwing a barrage of punches. Kiba knew the Aburame clan was famous for its sneaky "Fly on the Wall" robots. He knew every move Kiba was going to make.
Maybe if I do a backflip and project myself off of the wall behind me...
Kiba performed a back flip as Shino came up close, planting his feet on the wall and then launching himself, but Shino was a step ahead of him.
Shino sidestepped and then as Kiba was flying by he landed a punch on the right side of his back, knocking Kiba on the ground.
"MATCH OVER! WINNER: SHINO ABURAME!" Guy shouted as he held Naruto in a headlock and Sasuke on the ground with his right foot on the Uchiha's neck.
Shikamaru and Sakura were still snoring through it all...
Ino threw a punch at Ami, who ducked and ran to the left. Ami tried to sweep a foot under Ino to knock the blonde down, but Ino jumped back and then sped towards Ami, fist raised. The dark haired girl side stepped Ino and pushed her forward, making Ino fall down and roll into a somersault. Ino came back on her feet but was knocked back down by Ami's fist.
"You think you're so great, huh?" Punch! "I told you you're nothing without me!" Punch, punch, punch! "You should've never left the clique, you blonde skank!" Punch, Punch, Punch!
The blows kept landing, but no one noticed. Sasuke had insulted Naruto, who had flared up, causing Lee to have to run and help Guy-Sensei. All the other students were either still sparring or in the nurse's office, except Shikamaru and Sakura, who were asleep.
"OW! Ami you slut, stop!" Punch, punch!
"How dare you? If anyone's a slut, it's you! How dare you leave me for that pink haired bitch? I own you! I made you who you are!" Punch!
"Someone please, HELP!"
"Huh, what? Oh, man!" Sakura had stirred at the commotion going on. In all her years of sparring, he hadn't heard anyone call for help. That woke her up. She saw Ino being assaulted by Ami, who was furiously punching her in her face, chest, and gut.
"INO!" Sakura ran towards the two girls, but Ami's gang got in the way. Narume Akasuta and Hijira Namaki blocked her. "Get out of the way, you assholes! I won't let that tramp keep hurting my friend!" Sakura bulldozed through the two girls and towards Ino and Ami, but as she got close the girls tackled her, holding her on the floor. Sakura squirmed, "Let me GO!"
"Hey hey, now! Cat fight!"
Sakura looked up from under the girls that held her and saw a smirking Deidara walking towards her.
"Hey what's up Cute Stuff? You look like you're in quite the pickle." He called towards the double doors of the gym that led to the basketball court outside, "Hey guys, we got a catfight here!"
Hidan, Suigetsu, Pein, Tobi, Itachi, and Sasori waltzed gracefully into the gym with their long, basketball legs.
"Oh, look who the fuck it is! It's Pink Stuff!" Who else but Hidan would have a greeting like that? He led the rest in as they bid their hellos to their favorite pink fluff.
"Hiya Short Stuff!" Suigetsu said as he took a good look at her. "You don't look so good today..."
"Sweet Stuff, hey!" Pein greeted cheerfully. His team must've won the practice game, or he wouldn't be this chipper. "Fancy some help?"
Tobi rounded from behind Pein as he ran up towards Sakura. "Fluffy Stuff!" He motioned for Pein to follow him. "Let's get these unattractive women off of Fluffy like good boys, Pein!"
"Cuddle Stuff, what are you doing?" Not a very characteristic nickname... At least not coming from Sasori.
"What's going on here, Sakura?" (A/N: Leave it to Itachi to ruin nicknames.)
Tobi and Pein pulled the two girls off of Sakura while Hidan pried Ami off of Ino and tried to pass her to Sasori. "Egk, this little skank. You take her."
"No. I hate her guts." Was Sasori's simple rejection. So Hidan just dropped her. A steep six foot drop to the floor.
"OOF! Hey, you asshole, watch what you're doing!" Ami screeched. Hidan ignored her and helped up Sakura and while Itachi went and calmed down Sasuke.
Naruto was huffing in a corner trying to cool himself down, while Sasuke's ears burned crimson red. Guy-sensei was flustered at his mistake that no teacher, not even Genma-sensei would ever make: put Sasuke and Naruto together as partners in anything.
"I can't trust you on your own, can I Sasuke? You're always getting into trouble." Itachi said coolly. He pulled out a piece of blue mint gum and popped it into his mouth. (A/N: These guys sure do love their gum...) "I'll take it from here Guy-Sensei."
Guy took his foot from Sasuke's neck and released Naruto. In a huff, the blonde went to sit on the bleachers to himself, like he always did after a fight with Sasuke, but noticed the male Akatsuki standing over a bleeding Ino. "Oh jeez, what happened?" he ran towards the commotion and wedged himself towards Sakura. All the other students had completed their sparring. Hinata and TenTen were running towards the crowd after finishing their spar.
Deidara helped Ino up. "Jeez sis, I just can't leave you alone without someone trying to kill you." He slung her arm over his shoulder to keep her steady. Her face was covered in large purple bruises and bumps and her lip was bleeding. She held her stomach and breathed heavily from Ami's blows.
Sakura marched towards Ami and picked her up by her collar, hissing violently, "If we weren't in public right now," she shook the dark haired girl for emphasis, "I'd murderize you now. You better hope I don't catch you and your clique outside school grounds." She dropped Ami, who fell back on the floor. Beating on Ino was one thing, but Sakura was an entirely different story. Every member if the Akatsuki saw Sakura as their baby sister, especially Itachi. She also knew that Naruto, the school jock, was Sakura's older brother, and it was a well-known fact that Sasuke had a thing for the pinkette.
Grr... I'll get her one of these days... I'll get her. And sweet Sasuke-kun. Ami thought to herself as she slunk away from the scene. She ran down the hall and into an empty classroom to hide room the heat. She and that skank Ino will pay. I don't care who they know.
Nurse's Office
"Is she going to be okay? I'm so worried!"
"Calm down Miss Haruno, your friend will be fine. She's got a lot of bumps and bruises, a particularly nasty one on her abdomen, but nothing is broken. She'll be fine in a couple of weeks." Shizune said. She pulled off her pair of latex gloves and tossed them into a wastecan. "All she needs is alittle TLC and rest."
"Thank goodness." Deidara was leaning lazily on the doorframe leading into the office, twirling a red lollipop between his fingers. He popped the lolli into his mouth before walking forward to sit on the bed next to Ino. "You gave us all a scare, sis."
Ino huffed. "That bitch Ami. How dare she claim that she owns me! My daddy will hear about this, and she'll be hearing from my lawyer!" she rubbed her tummy and pouted. "How dare she? How dare she?.."
Sakura put a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder. "We've all got your back Ino-pig. That witch won't get away with this." She gave her friend a comforting hug.
"INO-CHAN, INO-CHAN!" Naruto came crashing through the door and flung himself on an unsuspecting Ino. "Ino-chan, I was so worried! Tsunade-Baa wouldn't let me in so I snuck past just to see you!" He gave her a bone breakingly tight hug.
"HEY HEY HEY! Can't you see Sis is hurt real bad? Get offa her!" Deidara yanked Naruto off of Ino. Naruto gave him a confused look as he steadied himself beside the examination bed.
"Hey Ponytail, I didn't know Ino was your sister." Deidara cast the biggest blonde in the room a dirty look while Sakura giggled at her brother.
"He's not her brother, Naruto! At least not by blood."
"Whaddaya mean? You can't have a brother if it's not by blood." He took a seat on an uncomfortable chair and spat his flavorless gum into the trash can beside him. "I mean..that is true right?"
"No we're not related by blood, dumbass. Don't you remember?"
Two years Before.
Deidara was casually walking down the hall with Sasori in tow. They were headed towards Foreign Language hall, and rounded a corner when suddenly-
"OOF. Hey, watch where you're going dildo head!" Some short, yellow.. thing was screeching at him to get his eyes checked and telling him how stupid he was. He was just about to tell the whore off when a pink fluff skipped up behind her, clasping her hand over the yellow thing's mouth and apologizing a billion times for her 'idiot blonde friend'. He rose an eyebrow at the pair when Sasori piped up.
"Oh hey, you're that Pinky that Itachi told us about. Hey, he wasn't lying about your hair being pink." The redhead waltzed around Deidara to hold his hand out to the pinkette. "I'm Sasori. Itachi is a really good friend of mine." The pink fluff took the hand happily.
"Hi, I'm Sakura Haruno! I'll be entering Konoha High next year! Any friend of Itachi-nii's is a friend of mine!" she released the blonde girl beside her who had finally calmed down. "And this is my blonde bimbo friend, Ino. I'm sorry for her rudeness-" a huff from Ino, "she can't help being a diva."
"I'm gonna call you Cuddle Stuff, Pinky. You're a lot more snuggable than your little friend here." He paused for a second and took a good look at Ino. "Well, well, well! Don't you look like a certain ponytailed basketball player!"
"What? No way. I'm way hotter than this bimbo!"
"Nah man. She looks like she could be your sister. Your mom has so 'splaining to do."
"Please." And with that, Deidara walked off, with the picture of a certain similar looking blondie stuck in his memory, forever labeled as "that chick that Sasori thinks is my sister.".
End Flashback
"Ohhh yeah, I remember that! Sasori wouldn't stop teasing you about your 'long lost sister' you found." Naruto was holding his stomach and laughing. "You guys used to get into fights in the middle of class –ahaha- and creepy Oro-sensei would give you both detention –hahaha- and you'd have to spend your Fridays in the lab with all those creepy snakes!"
Deidara threw a roll of gauze at Naruto. "Blonde Idiot."
"Eh, DeiDei Bear, I don't think calling him a blonde is much of an insult coming from you.. cause ya' know, you're a blonde too." Sakura pointed out. "Hey Naruto, gimme a piece of gum." Naruto tossed her a piece and she popped it into her mouth. "He could just say, 'Hey! You're blonde too, dummy!' or something like that."
Last Class
"Alright classssss, today we're learning about cellsssss." The class groaned. Cells were things that no student took seriously. It was a boring subject; who cared about cells? It was in the lesson plans every year. But cells were Orochimaru's favorite topic. Everyone thought it had to do with Orochimaru's love of the Uchihas. A certain cell male's body in which he could put a certain part into.
"Now, what'ssss in a cell? Can anyone tell me an organelle that can be found in an animal cell?" Snake like eyes scanned the room, finding no hands raised. His eyes landed on one of his favorite students, Uchiha Sasuke. "Ssssasssuke?"
Sasuke jumped and stopped playing in Sakura's hair to look at Orochimaru, whos eyes were narrowed at the two. Sakura had done nothing wrong. She was looking through last year's notes on cells, but Orochimaru didn't exactly like her.
"What issss an organelle in an animal cell..Sssassuke?" Orochimaru asked again. He lowered his teacher's edition science book in an intimidating way.
"The nucleus?" Sasuke gave him a questioning look that said 'Just stop staring at me like that". All the other students (except Shikamaru, who was asleep) were turned in their seats staring at the two as well, wondering why Oro-sensei was giving them that look. Sasuke just shrugged and returned to playing in Sakura's hair.
"Correct. No playing in my classss, Mr. Uchiha." He turned stiffly to the smart board and began doodling an animal cell and a plant cell, asking students to name each part he was drawing.
Naruto leaned on the back two legs of his chair. He blew a purple bubble and looked around, bored out of his mind. Ino was not next to Shikamaru, which was the only reason he was able to sleep. He tried to listen to Orochimaru's lesson, knowing that if he didn't pass science he'd fail again and Sakura would be a grade ahead. Ugh, that lisp. he thought to himself. Just stop it with that lisp and maybe I could listen to you teach..
Hinata was deligently taking notes beside him. She looked up at him and saw his frustration. "Uhm.. Naruto-kun.. Uhm.. Why don't you just pretend his is a snake teaching you about cells? Like a real snake..uhm..then maybe his lisp wouldn't seem so..bad?"
Naruto looked over at her with a surprise look that slowly melted into a grin. "Hey Hinata-chan," he half whispered, "that's a pretty good idea! I'll try it." He squinted at Orochimaru, trying to ffocus on changing him into a snake. He imagined the long, greasy looking black locks turning into his body, and his white face elongated into the snout of a snake.
"Now, cellsssss are the building blocksss of every living thing in the world.."
Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. A snake teaching the class was much more entertaining than regular, creepy old Oro-sensei. He could actually pay attention now! He took out a pencil and some paper and began scribbling down notes..
==Mother Base==… ==Come in, Mother Base==
Speak, my son.
==I got in a bit of a scuffle with Naruto again.==
I can't trust you with that blonde
==Yes you can, Mother. I apologize, but he gets rather competitive.==
I suppose. Are you hurt?
==No, I'm fine.==
And Itachi?
==He's even better.==
Well.. Thank you for keeping me in the loop. Ending transmission.
==Yes Mother. Goodbye.==
"SSSSASSSUKE." Sasuke was knocked out of his communication by a blistering furious Orochimaru. "Are you even lisssstening?"
"Uhm. To be honest, no." The class giggled. Naruto turned around in his seat to look back at them. What are you doing? He asked silently.
Nothing important. Was his silent reply. Naruto raised an eyebrow at him and turned back around. Sakura had stopped taking notes to watch the interaction. Orochimaru had called Sasuke for a good half a minute, and Sasuke hadn't responded. His eyes were glazed red and he seemed like..he was on an entirely different planet. (A/N: oooh, irony.)
"Ssssassuke. Meet me after classs."
"Aw what? I didn't do anything to stay after class." Was Sasuke's rebuttle.
"That'sssss detention!" Orochimaru hissed at him.
"Orochimaru-sensei that's not fair! Sasuke didn't do anything!" Sakura defended.
"Oh, you want detention too, Missssssss Haruno? Fine then, you've got it!" Orochimaru screeched at her.
"Hey! You can't-"
"Yesss I can!"
Naruto got up at that. "ORO-SENSEI, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ONLY GAVE SASUKE DETENTION BECAUSE YOU WANT HIS BUNS!" he pointed an accusing finger at the older snake man. "BUT YOU'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS IF YOU THINK I'M LEAVING MY BABY SISTER IN HERE ALONE WITH YOU, PERVERT!"
"FINE THEN! ALL OF YOU, DETENTION!" the bell rang and all but three students shot out of the classroom. "Leave now, you'll serve your detentions on Friday. Get out of my sight!"
The three sulked out of the room, but Naruto hung back for a second. "Don't think Tsunade-Baa won't hear about this, you sicko. You aren't going near any of our asses!"
Well, that was chapter six. Didja miss me? Hurr hurr. Ami was pretty brutal to Ino. What's this about owning her? What is going on with those two? And Naruto already failed a grade? How is Hinata's father allowing his daughter to snuggle a delinquent? And Oro-sensei's detention may be the end of our favorite charecters! What's Itachi gonna say when he finds out Sasuke has detention with the most perverted teacher ever, and what's the beef between Naruto and Orochimaru? Find out in the next chapters! Yaaaay!
Love, Tara