Sup guys! I told you I'd update even though school has started once again! Ugh, it was so freaking bad, let me tell you. I'm in AP classes and they just completely jacked all of our schedules up. I'm in the classes with all the dumbbells. Blargh. Anyway, onto answering reviews! From my most loyal reviewer:
GuestSarah: Pfft, I dunno why they would start it on Friday. Honestly, I think it's stupid too. I guess they wanted school to end on a certain day or some dumb bull like that. Thank you for all your positive feedback! You truly are my most loyal reviewer.
Well now that we've met the Akatsuki, I think it's time for us to travel to the Mother Planet, don't you? On with the craziness! The all new chapter of Men in Black:Dattebayo!
Chapter 7: The Mother Planet
(Note: Just to make this chapter a little more authentic, I made all the dialogue in German. Don't worry, if you don't feel like using google translate, I'll translate it all at the end of the chapter, however, I find it a little more..German-y if I make the words German. So there you go.)
"Mutter! Vater! Beeilen Sie sich, bevor die Leitung zu lang wird!" a dark-haired boy around the age of seven nearly dragged his older brother behind him as he weaved his way through the crowds of Oktoberfest. His parents walked briskly behind the two to keep tabs on their sons in the hustle and bustle of drunken men and short dirndls. "Wir haben zu reiten, wir haben nur zu!"
"Verlangsamen Sie jetzt, Sasucake!" his mother called after him, "Du wirst dich verletzen!" Her husband's blank expression did not change as they careened through the people and finally into a line of about five people, including her two sons.
Sasuke bounced up and down in delighted excitement as he stared up at the huge colorful display of the hot air balloon. Itachi stood next to him, excited as well albeit less energetic about it. They all watched as the couple in front of them ascended in the hot air balloon. They floated through the air, up against the clouds like the balloon was weightless.
The boy watched in awe as the diamond patterned balloon bobbed up and down in the air as the driver releases heat into the balloon and then closed off the fire. It was a beautiful scene to watch as the thick white clouds rolled by and majestic black birds floated on the breeze.
"Blicken Sie nicht lange und die Augen springt heraus." Itachi teased. Sasuke huffed at him as the balloon finally lowered. He was much to excited to even offer a smart comeback to his brother. The family stepped forward to get on the balloon, but the driver stopped them.
"Sorry Leute. Dieser Ballon, kann nur drei Personen. Nur zwei von euch vielleicht in einer Zeit, zu gehen." He explained. Sasuke was about to drag Itachi into the balloon when Fugaku pulled his collar back.
"Hold on, Jungs. Deine Mutter und ich werde zuerst gehen, um sicherzustellen, es ist sicher, bevor Sie auf eigene Faust zwei gehen."
Sasuke complained to him. "Ich kann nicht länger warten, Vater! Bitte lassen Sie uns zuerst gehen!".
Fugaku shook his head. "Nein Sasuke. Sie werden warten, bis wir es sicher für Sie und Ihr Bruder halten."
…
"MUTTER! VATER! NEIN, bitte wach auf!" Sasuke shook his mother's lifeless shoulder. The tattered remains of the balloon lay in the West side of the open field, burning. Suddenly, Sasuke was yanked from his mother's body by a frantic Itachi.
"MOTHER!" Sasuke sat up in a cold sweat. His Egyptian cotton sheets were strewn all over the king sized bed he sat in. A concerned Itachi opened the door as quietly as possible.
"Sasuke? Do you have another headache or something?" He poked his head from behind the door. Sasuke wasn;t holding his head in his hands so Itachi deemed it safe to waltz into the room with his elegant walk.
"Itachi? Agh, Itachi.. I had the dream again.." Sasuke rolled over onto his left side. "I saw them. I saw it happen again.." He sat up and rubbed his temples.
"Oh, that." Itachi came to sit beside his younger brother and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to shake him a little. "That happened over two hundred years ago. They're in a better place, you know."
Sasuke sighed in depression. "I know, but I wish I could get it out of my head." He hung his legs over the sides of his bed. "Gah, Ita-san." He got up and headed toward the shower.
At the Uzumaki Household
"SAKURA! SAKURA! LITTLE SIS!" Naruto started off his sister's day as usual. By nearly blasting her door off of its hinges. Honestly, doesn't he get tired of having to fix that thing every morning?
"Mmpphh.. Good morning Naruto!" She rolled over in her bed and swung her legs from beneath her blankets. "It's such a nice morning!" she stretched out her legs and arms and padded into her bathroom while Naruto shot down the stairs to cook ramen.
The water was hot to wake her up. She scrubbed with a bath pouf and shower gel and giggled as the soapy bubbles tickled her on their way down the drain. She hummed softly to herself as she shampooed and then rinsed herself free of the suds. She leapt gracefully out of the shower and into a bathrobe to dry her hair.
"Hmm.. Now how do I work this thing?" she mumbled to herself while turning her new ionic blow dryer over in her palms. "Oh! Here's the On button!" She pushed the button up to the on position and began waving the dryer around her head.
"HURRY UP SLOWASS THE RAMEN IS GETTING COOOOOLD!"
Sakura finished up and pulled on a plaid skirt and a dress shirt. She grabbed her sleeveless sweater and rand down her hall and down the flight of stairs, skidding around a corner and finally stopping in the kitchen. She sat next to Naruto on a stool beside the kitchen island and began slurping down her ramen.
"Humh.. It shudues take yough a lung tim to get readeh." Naruto said between scarfing down his ramen. He turned up his bowl and nearly inhaled the broth before slamming his bowl down and sighing in content.
"You should stop talking with your mouth full. You'll choke." She lifted her noodles to her mouth with her chopsticks. She looked up from her bowl as his landed on the black marble with a clatter. "I guess I spoke a little too late. Ah well, I took those emergency classes over the summer. You'll be alright even if you do choke."
"Damn right I will!" He grabbed his and her bowls and tossed them into the dishwasher and started it up. "Hey what time is it?"
She tilted her head to the left to check out the rooster shaped clock. "It's about.. Half after seven. Hey, why'd you get me up so early anyways?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at her. "Pfft. Don't you remember? Oro-sensei gave us all detention to serve this afternoon." He poured some coffee into his favorite mug, an orange and black tall hot chocolate mug with a happy pumpkin on the side of it. He placed the pot back on the heating plate of the coffee maker and sat back down at the kitchen island while slurping on his drink.
"So? That's this afternoon. Why didn't you bring me any..?" she pouted.
"Well duh, if I have detention this afternoon that means I have to have morning basketball practice. You know our game against Oregako High is on Monday night. And go get your own, jeez. I already woke you up this morning, do something yourself for once." He put a teaspoon of sugar and crème into his coffee and pointed his spoon accusingly at her. "You're gonna get fat being this lazy, ya know." He stirred his drink and checked the rooster clock, ignoring the dirty look from his sister. "Oh hey! If you want coffee, you'd better put it in a thermos," he walked to the cabinet and pulled out two thermoses, "it's about 7:45. I need to be at the gym at five after." He poured his coffee into a thermos and turned to grab his keys.
"Yea. Whatever." She walked up to the coffee pot to start preparing her coffee. "Why can't I ride the bus?" she said, adding a couple heaping teaspoons of sugar to the drink container.
"Because," the blonde said on his way out the door, "I don't trust anyone with my baby sister." And with that, he walked out the kitchen door that led to the garage of luxury cars.
Back at the Uchiha Mansion
"Ugh Itachi. What time is it?" Sasuke padded down the hall and down the stairs. "Tachi-san. Where are you, dumbass?" he rounded a left corner into the living room. He spotted Itachi on the black suede sofa, sipping on a cup of wine.
"Hm?" he looked away from the hundred twelve inches of high-definition television to acknowledge his beloved brother. "What do you need?"
Sasuke stared at his brother for a second before scolding him. "You know what that stuff did to Father. Only one glass a month. Mother Planet says too much of a good thing is never good." He paused for a second before finishing," I care about you, Itachi –onii. I really do."
Itachi looked up from his glass and gave the younger Uchiha a reassuring smirk. "Please. Things happen in the past so we can learn from them in the future. I know of the health benefits these fermented grapes give to me, and I know of the health risks that too much of it can cause. Stop your worrying, foolish little brother." He took another swig of his wine. "Ah, 1950 Vintage Amontillado…Do you have any idea why this is my favorite type of wine, dear Sasuke?"
Sasuke padded towards him and sat down on the couch. "Is it Poe?" Sasuke poured himself a glass as well and took a swig of it. "I mean, his short story."
"Exactly."
"Hmmm." Sasuke finished his wine and turned to his older brother. "I have detention today."
Itachi turned to him with a surprised look on his face. "You only get detention with…."
"Orochimaru. Yea. Him again." Sasuke sunk into the softness of the sofa. "I need the keys to my car."
"Why? Detention is in the afternoon, right?" Itachi placed his and Sasuke's wine glasses on a silver platter. "You don't need to go anywhere now."
"Don't you remember the big game? I have to practice early since I have detention with Orochimaru."
"Ugh. Ya know, you don't even have to go. That man is a rapist, I just know it."
"What's the deal with you guys anyway? You haven't had detention with him in ages. I remember when you couldn't even make weekend plans because of that snake."
"That bastard tried to rape me." Itachi twitched.
Sasuke turned to him, surprised. "What?! And you never told me? What the hell, man?!" He punched Itachi in the shoulder.
"Calm your tits, bro. He tried to rape me and I nearly castrated him. I told him if he ever came near yours or my crotch that I'd kill him. He's too scared to try and give me detention anymore, but he's knows I hadn't told you about our little mishap yet. So seriously, you don't have to go."
"I have to go. He's making Naruto and dear Sakura go too. I have to make sure he doesn't hurt her." Sasuke stood from the couch. "Now where are my keys?"
"I wouldn't worry about Sakura too much… But I think you should keep an eye out for Naruto. He was there, ya know." He stood up and pulled his long hair into its signature ponytail with the hair tie he keeps in his pocket at all times.
"There what? Where are the keys?" Sasuke urged him.
"He was there when that asshole slapped my ass." Itachi walked to the grand piano sitting next to the window to the right of them. He played a colorful chord, much unlike anything he or Sasuke would ever willingly play. "He hit Orochimaru over the head with a beaker of acid. That's why he's so pale and sickly looking now. Don't you remember when he was about Naruto's color?" A small door on the side of the piano popped open with a soft click! And Itachi promptly took Sasuke's keys out of the compartment. Sasuke blinked at him. " Ah, yea. You were in your last year of middle school when all that was happening." He closed the small door on the compartment.
"Naruto hit Orochimaru on the ehad with a beaker of acid? Oh, no wonder that snake is always covering himself entirely. His hands must be a mess." He reached for his car keys but Itachi promptly lifted them out of Sasuke's reach.
"I owe Naruto my ass.. Literally. And now you owe him too." Itachi said.
"What?" Sasuke gave him a look. "Dude, just gimme my keys."
"No man. Listen. I see what he did. He got himself in detention so he could watch you. Remember, he was there when Orochimaru tried that crap on me." He gave Sasuke a serious look. "He put himself in detention so the snake couldn't try anything. Think about it…"
Sasuke stared at him.
Itachi continued, "Was Orochimaru pissed off when he had to give Naruto and Sakura detention as well? He was angry wasn't he?"
Sasuke nodded.
"It's because he wanted to get you alone, but Naruto ruined that…" He paused a second before putting the keys in his brother's hand. "Here. Take 'em. If he tries to do anything, just call. I'll be at the school for afternoon practice. I'll come running. Tell Sakura and Naruto I said hey."
Sasuke nodded and headed out the living room and to the garage to his car. Itachi sighed and sunk into the couch again. He poured himself another glass of wine.
I know what this did to Father but… He poured the alcohol down his throat and sighed. He tilted his head towards the clock on the wall. Five to eight.. He got up and padded into the kitchen.
"Maybe I'll take my car today as well.." He grabbed his keys off the hook by the kitchen door and walked out the door.
School
"I still can't believe that asshole Oro-sensei gave us detention!" Naruto huffed as he ran laps around the gym, "I mean, come on! Everyone knows he's just doing this to try and get in your pants."
Sasuke puffed next to him. "I know about Itachi, you and the snake, Naruto. All this time I thought you were just assing with me about him..but.."
"Aw come on, Orochimaru! We all know you're just after Sasuke because Itachi rejected you! Get over yourself, pervert!"
"Jeez Orochimaru, can you get any more desperate?"
. "ORO-SENSEI, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR. EVERYONE KNOWS YOU ONLY GAVE SASUKE DETENTION BECAUSE YOU WANT HIS BUNS! BUT YOU'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS IF YOU THINK I'M LEAVING MY BABY SISTER IN HERE ALONE WITH YOU, PERVERT!"
"But I never really thought that you were.. serious." Sasuke crossed the court to the basketball rack at the front of the gym.
"So the elder asshole finally told you, eh? He asked me not to bring you up. Thought you'd freak out or something dumb like that." He skidded to a stop next to the basketball goal and placed him hands on his knees to catch his breath. Sasuke brought the basketball rack over to him.
"Yea, he told me. I really appreciate what you're doing." Sasuke shot the first basketball. It rolled around the edge and went in.
"No problem. I hit that bastard in the face with acid before, I'd do it again. Especially now that my baby sister is stuck in detention with us."
With Sakura
"Oh Ino-pig. I'm so worried about detention today." Sakura fiddled with her pencil as she thought about the horrors of being alone with Oro-sensei after school. "I'm so glad Naruto and Sasuke will be there."
Ino scoffed. "I'd be more worried for Naruto and Sasuke's asses than my own. Everyone knows that snake is a gay pedophile." She said while filing her nails. Kurenai-sensei's sermon went unheard to her.
"Maybe it won't be so bad." HInata uttered softly. She only stuttered around Naruto, but her voice was never loud. "You'll be protected, at least."
"I guess.." Sakura murmured. She doodled S + S in a heart on the cover of her notebook.
Ino noticed her friend's concern and reached over to pat her shoulder. "Come on, girlfriend. You'll be fine. Seriously." She looked her best friend in the eye and smiled. "Besides, you've got Sasuke's gorgeous pecs to protect you, right?"
"Ino you pig!" Sakura playfully punched her in the shoulder. "Yea, I guess."
"SORRY WE'RE LATE KURENAI-SENSEEEIII. WE HAVE A PASS FROM GUY SENSEI!" Naruto was careful not to blast the door off its hinges, but made his and Sasuke's presence well known.
"Yes, Uzumaki-kun. Sit down, please, and stop disrupting my class." Kurenai scolded as she promptly took the passes from Naruto and returned to her lecture on emphatic phrases.
"Mkay." Naruto bounded into his seat next to Hinata and Sasuke sulked into his seat next to Sakura. He was just as nervous about next class with Orochimaru.
"Hey Sasuke! How are you?" Sakura greeted him. She gave him a soft hug while Kurenai had her back turned towards them.
Sasuke stared at her and let out a dejected sigh before placing his head on her shoulder. She could practically feel the worried aura radiating from him.
"Oh. Me and Naruto will be with you, love."
He grunted.
She giggled.
He grunted again and laid his head on the desk to nap.
Orochimaru's Class
"Ssssso you sssee classsss, the brain," Orochimaru circled the image of the brain of a snake with a red marker on the smart board, "Isss the mossst vital part of the ssspecimen. It controlssss all motor ssskillsss and breathing processsessss. Any quessstionssss?"
No one made a sound.
"Alright. Now take out your workbookssss and complete chapter ssssseven. All of it."
The class groaned and took out their workbooks to get started with the tedious work. Orochimaru kept glancing up from the paperwork on his desk to stare at Sakura or Naruto. They were chatting it up with friends, having had a study party and completed the week's homework already.
Once I catch them doing something good… I'll have reason to revoke their detention. How foolish I was to assign them to it in the first place! Uzumaki, you think you're so smart. I'll catch you being a good student, just you wait.
But he didn't catch Naruto being good. In fact, he found more reason to give Naruto detention. Him and his sister. They were tossing paper balls around and into people's hair, chewing their purple gum and blowing giant bubbles that made a mess on their faces, and sticking their old gum under the desks. They were determined to stay after class.
The bell finally rang, and all but six students rushed out the class and into the free world. The three detentioners, Hinata, Ino, and Shikamaru stayed back. The three said their goodbyes and shot dirty looks at Orochimaru on their way out. Ino jumped at Orochimaru, making him flinch and then scowl at her as she slammed the class door behind her. Three students sat in desks staring at him.
He grimaced. "Erm. Why don't you just. I dunno, play a game or something.. I need coffee." And with that, he just walked out. He didn't come back until five minutes before detention was scheduled to end.
"Patty cake, patty cake, baker man! Bake me a cake as fast as you can-.." Sakura and Naruto were playing a preschool game while Sasuke read a book. They all looked up at his pale, dejected face as he walked in.
There was a long silence and an exchange of faces between the teens and the thousand year old alien.
"Get out of my classroom."
Yaaaaay Chapter Seven! How great was that? Oh yea, we finally found out how the Uchiha parents died. Wow. Harsh. Anyways, now we have another flashback to look forward to: what happened in the classroom with Itachi, Naruto, and Orochimaru? Why didn't Oro-sensei try anything this time? Oh my, questions! You'll just have to read the next chapter to find out, eh? Warm regards, Tara! By the way, here's the translations for the beginning of the chapter:
"Mother! Father! Hurry, before the line is too long!" A dark haired boy around the age of seven nearly dragged his older brother behind him as he weaved his way through the crowds of Oktoberfest. His parents walked briskly behind the two to keep tabs on their sons in the hustle and bustle of drunken men and short dirndls. "We have to ride, we have to!"
"Slow down now, Sasucake" his mother called after him, "You're going to hurt yourself!" Her husband's blank expression did not change as they careened through the people and finally into a line of about five people, including her two sons.
Sasuke bounced up and down in excitement as he delightedly stared up at the huge display of the colorful hot air balloon. Itachi stood next to him, excited as well albeit less energetic about it. They all watched as the couple in front of them ascended in the hot air balloon. They floated through the air, up against the clouds like the balloon was weightless.
The young boy watched in awe as the diamond patterned balloon bobbed up and down in the air as the driver released heat into the balloon and then closed off the fire. It was a beautiful scene to watch as the thick white clouds rolled by and majestic black birds floated on the breeze.
"Do not look too long or your eyes pop out." Itachi teased. Sasuke huffed at him as the balloon finally lowered. He was much too excited to even offer a smart comeback to his brother. The family stepped forward to get on the balloon, but the driver stopped them.
"Sorry guys. This balloon can only carry three people. Only two of you may go at a time." He explained. Sasuke was about to drag Itachi into the balloon when Fugaku pulled his collar back.
"Hold on, guys. Your mother and I will go first to ensure it is safe before you two go out on your own. "
Sasuke complained to him. "I cannot wait any longer, Father! Please let us go first."
Fugaku shook his head. "No Sasuke. You will wait until we are sure it is safe for you and your brother. "
…
"MOTHER! FATHER! NO, please, wake up! "
Tragic, right? Poor Sasuke and Itachi, having to witness all that first hand. Jeez. And what's with Itachi and his drinking problem? What happened to Fugaku and wine? Omg, I'm asking questions again! Read and Review folks. Goodnight.