A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting. Yesterday was a washout with a distinct lack of broadband signal for most of the day. Then I went to see The Hobbit in the evening (which although very good, at over 3 hours long, takes up a lot of time). Then when I read through this chapter again... I just wasn't happy with it. The lead into it was rubbish and it just stopped without a real ending. So I've pretty much rewritten it today. I'm still not convinced it's my best chapter but it's better than it was - believe me.

Chapter 20.

Lauren watched Joey leave the court, her heart breaking because she knew how much pain he was in. She just hoped he didn't push her away now. She needed him. She wanted to take care of him and be there for him but she wasn't sure he was going to let her. She wondered if he was speaking to her dad, she hoped they'd be able to help each other. She knew she wouldn't have got through this without either her mum or her dad, especially her dad. Lauren wasn't sure how Joey would cope with both his parents absent. His mother was now also in trouble because she never reported Derek for the abuse of their son. It was a mess all round and she just hoped something good would come of this whole mess. Although she was fairly sure her relationship with Joey would class as something good... well great if she was being honest.

*JL*JL*

Lauren stared at the rest of the family gathered around her. Her mum was standing close to her and Lauren could tell she was worried about her and Joey. And about her dad. Lauren was worried about him herself. Just another thing she had to worry about. Adding to a long list of things. She glanced at her aunt Carol, again unable to read her expression. Her relationship with her aunt was strained at best. It had been ever since Billie had died. No doubt this was somehow all her fault. She could see her uncle Jack was watching her. She'd always been close to him and if it wasn't for him, her dad wouldn't have returned last year. She smiled at him and he smiled back, stepping forward and hugging her tightly.

"You did good, Lauren," he said to her softly.

"All I did was tell the truth." She said.

"I'm sorry we weren't there for you when your mum was sick." He told her.

"It's okay. In some ways it was easier when no one else knew because I didn't have as much time to think about it. I only started to struggle when I told dad." She closed her eyes, tears falling down her face. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he came back, I was at the stage where I didn't know what to do but once he was home, the pressure was off me so much more so that was when I really turned to the booze."

"You could've asked for help... I would've helped." He said to her.

"At the time I didn't even realise it was a problem. Looking back at it now I can see it clearly but then, I really couldn't and when mum and dad tried to help me, I didn't want it."

Jack hugged her again, holding her tightly in his arms. Lauren took the opportunity to look at Joey's sister, trying to see if she'd changed her mind about everything. She didn't care what Alice thought of her but she knew that for Joey it was a different story.

*JL*JL*

Alice had watched Joey leave the court and wondered if she'd lost her brother completely. She had to admit she had struggled to listen to the evidence her brother had given. Her uncle's words when they came out of the court were still buzzing around her head. She wished she could speak to her dad, she wanted to ask him why he would do the things like that to his son. She needed to speak to her brother she knew that but there was still one thing she couldn't get her head around. As she thought that she turned her attention to her cousin. Alice had admired her cousin when she first arrived, despite her dad's disapproval; she'd thought she was amazing. She was so thankful when she'd arrived at the hospital and heard how Lauren had found her brother. Watching her cousin's reaction to her brother in intensive care had surprised her but she hadn't really thought about it that much. Then they'd sprung the news of their relationship on her, just days after finding out her dad was responsible for putting Joey in hospital. It had been too much for her to take in and she couldn't get her head around how her brother couldn't see how wrong a relationship with Lauren was. The person she really blamed though was her cousin. Her dad hadn't been as wrong about her as she'd initially thought. Alice had decided Lauren was the cause of all their problems as far as she was concerned. She saw her standing with Jack, his arms around her. It seemed all men flocked to Lauren, she thought angrily, "Are you happy now?" she asked Lauren hostilely.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked as she pulled away from her uncle's arms.

"Since you've been with my brother, this family has been torn apart."

"Alice, this isn't Lauren's fault. She wasn't even born when this all started." Carol said. "You were only just, for that matter."

"I don't understand why he never told me. I thought we were close." Alice said softly, her face showing her confusion.

"This is no one's fault other than Derek's," Lauren stated. "He's the person who put your brother in hospital; he tried to kill him." Alice looked down, hating having to hear her say this. "Alice, he loves you. I know I'm not your favourite person but please don't walk out of his life. Can you not see what he's done for you?"

"Lauren..." Her mother said while Jack put his hand on her shoulder. Sharon stepped closer to Alice, offering her some support.

"No, she needs to hear this." She said determinedly to her mum, stepping forward and shaking off Jack's hand, "Alice, your brother is the bravest person I know. You heard him speak on that witness stand. You heard him say how he learnt that he could draw the focus on him rather than your mum. What he didn't say up there was that he had another reason for letting Derek do those things to him. He knew it would hurt your mum so he made sure it was him that got hit. His biggest fear was that one day Derek would turn his attention elsewhere; would turn his attention to you." Angry tears fell down her face as she continued talking to Joey's sister. She was now on a roll, determined to tell her exactly what was on her mind, and this had been brewing for quite a while. "You're the reason he came to Walford, so he could protect you and make sure you didn't get hurt. And he's been doing that for years. Do you realise what it took for him to do what he did today? Joey did that because he knew how important it was to protect you from Derek. And he's done that now; he's got him away from you, hopefully for good. The least you can do is help me look after him. He needs you, Alice. He needs his sister."

"He's got you... what does he need me for?" Alice scoffed.

"You don't understand, do you?" She let out a shriek, drawing the attention of several people and both Jack and Tanya stepped closer to her, seeing how close to losing it she was, "You're the reason he's been getting up every morning for twenty years of his life. The nightmares he spoke about in there aren't always memories. He had a bad one just last night. His most frequent recurring nightmare is watching you with Derek. He dreams that he doesn't get to you in time; that he doesn't protect you and you get hurt." She looked at the ground as tears poured down her face and Tanya took her hand, squeezing it to comfort her. Both her and Max were aware of the nightmares, having been witness to several of them. One night, after Lauren had managed to eventually calm him down enough so he could get back to sleep she'd poured her heart out to the both of them. It had been a long night for the whole family. Lauren began to talk again, slightly calmer now, "Those are the worst ones he has. It's the most difficult one to calm him down from. Did you know he asks me every time if he can call you? And I have to tell him no because I know you wouldn't talk to him if we were to call you. He knows this obviously but each time he's so upset he doesn't understand and he is desperate to hear the sound of your voice." She laughed but it isn't a pleasant sound and it sends shivers down Tanya's back. "Did you know I convinced Abi to help me? It was about six weeks ago, when I realised I wasn't enough to help him calm down. I got her to tape a conversation she had with you. Tamwar helped edit the file, cutting out the bits of Abi's voice. It's stored on my mobile and when he has that nightmare, we listen to that recording over and over until he's calm enough to get back to sleep. Last night it took twelve times through. That's twenty four minutes of repeatedly listening to the same recording because I'm too scared to let him try and call you. That's not even the worst time. That was about a week after I had the recording... a couple of days after he first met with the barrister and the nightmare was the worst I'd seen. He was reliving every time he told them about, interspersed with the dream about you. This was the first time I had the recording. I'd realised you weren't going to change your mind about us and I can live with that but Joey can't. You not talking to him is slowly killing him, just as thoroughly as anything Derek has ever done to him. That night we listened to that recording thirty three times; that's more than an hour of your voice. The words don't even make sense but it calms him because it's the sound of your voice he needs to hear." She stopped talking, staring at her boyfriend's sister, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down, "Al, he's your family." She said softly. "He's all you've got left and he loves you so much that he dealt for years with his own father hurting him in order to protect you. How can you not love him back?"

Lauren crumpled once she'd finished her rant at Alice, collapsing to the ground and sobbing. The whole day had been draining for her and she needed to feel Joey's arms around her but she knew she was going to have to wait for that. Jack lifted her in his arms and carried her over to some nearby seats, Tanya trailing behind them. Once they were seated, they both tried to comfort Lauren but they weren't the person she needed.

TBC

A/N2: Like I said... not my best work. Let me know what you think. Send me a review.

In good news... due to disruption to normal service yesterday, I've essentially written the whole of one story - I got about more than 30 pages done yesterday. It still needs some editing and changing but once this story is all posted, I hope to get this one done shortly after.