Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Kyo Kara Maoh, this is purely fan-made!

Chapter 4: Profound Longing

Three weeks had passed since my accident, and by then, a comfortable sense of normalcy had ultimately returned to my life. It took me a couple of days at first but eventually I became comfortable enough to start sleeping in my room again. A friend of mine had even found my favorite pendant where the accident happened. As soon as I started wearing it again I began feeling much more at ease with it resting against my chest. Feeling like a small part of myself had come back to me.

Once I had that with me again, bit by bit, I started to remember more about myself. Including the bond I had with my family and friends. Of course, Murata was also a huge help in both departments. From the very beginning of all this he treated me like everyone else, and that was exactly what I needed. Apparently he and my family had always been close, especially hi and my mom, which I actually found a little odd.

It bothered me at first when he knew more about me than I did, but that was to be expected. Still, even without my memories he could read me like an open book. Like whenever I started to feel down Murata always knew just what to do to cheer me up, he'd take me to familiar places and wait to see if I felt anything when we were there.

Most of the time Murata didn't say a word, he just let me search for those feelings on my own; encouraging me if I didn't by turning my attention to something less urgent. Stuff like what I wanted to eat for lunch or where I wanted to go next. Which most of the time turned out to be the ball park.

That's how I learned about my love of baseball again. It started with just him and Shori rotating between playing catch with me in their free time at the park. But then, before I knew it, the three of us started going to local games together. He even told me that I was captain to my very own team at school. As of right now, I was still on sick-leave until I got a doctor's note saying that it was ok for me to restart school again so I couldn't look into that claim myself yet.

In fact, I had a doctor's appointment that very day.

Up until that point, I had been cooped up at home. My mom had been going nuts going through old photo albums with me in an attempt to jog my memory. To her delight, some of the things in the photos definitely struck a chord with me, especially the embarrassing fact that she used to dress me up as a girl when I was little. Man, why couldn't I have left THAT fact forgotten?

Other than that I remembered smaller things like how Shori was always hassling me about not calling him 'Big Brother', and about how my dad, despite being a businessman, was very aloft and fun loving. Then my mother, well, she was an entirely different story. She always had advice to give about every little thing in life, from cooking to common sense and even what to do in the event of an alien invasion. Altogether, I had a very strange family. But I loved them all the same.

However, remembering all that didn't help the emptiness I still felt in my heart. I knew something was still missing, regardless of what I remembered now or how far I had recovered from the accident.

Nothing they did seemed to quell that feeling. There was somewhere I longed to be right now and it wasn't here at home. I just couldn't remember what kind of place I'd rather be right now or why. That feeling kept eating away at me the more I remembered, because it reminded me that there was still something important that I had still forgotten...

When the gap between my last arrival spanned into nearly four months in the other world, despite his best efforts, Conrad was unable to keep it secret that something had happened to me.

While Conrad was glad that they finally believed him when he said that something was amiss, now that Conrad knew what it was himself, he thought it best if they didn't find out just yet, at least not the finer details. Particularly Wolfram, who would doubtlessly jump in after me himself once he knew what had happened.

Conrad did relent to inform Gwendal once Ulrike gave him the ok though. But knowing the reason behind my absence did nothing to relieve Gwendal's concern...

"When did this happen? And why didn't you inform me sooner?" Gwendal said with a harsh tone. Yet there was no mistaking the genuine concern flickering in his dark blue eyes. Of all the reasons why I hadn't come back yet, this was by far one of the worse that could have happened.

"I wanted to tell you this instant I found out," Conrad explained. "However, the Great One knew that it would be dangerous to Yuri's health to have all of us suddenly appear without even having any knowledge about himself in general. Plus there was the risk of certain individuals discovering his condition on exploiting it," he looked at his older brother seriously, "I'm only able to tell you this now because Yuri has recovered enough of his own memories of his Earth life for us to make contact. From what I've heard, it seems that Yuri is more or less aware that there's a part of his life that he is still unable to recall. And given how he remembered everything else, it's safe to assume that being around familiar faces and surroundings will help him greatly. I'm just glad his condition wasn't more severe or else..." then Conrad trailed off a bit, unable to voice the rest of his concerns.

"In any event," Gwendal stated in an earnest tone, "You're right about not letting word of this get in or out of the castle if it is at all possible. I'll make the necessary arrangements and we'll prepare for his arrival as soon as it is safe enough for him. Afterword's I think that until His Highness regains what he lost, we should bring him somewhere secluded where we can help him openly and without risk of interference from the other noble families; Stoffel and Waltorana of course being the prime concerns."

"What about Gunter, are you going to tell him about this before or after His Majesty returns?" Conrad asked him.

Gwendal groaned, massaging his temple as he usually did when stressed, and replied, "As disciplined as he is, I fear that Gunter will be unable to control his emotions once he hears of this; specifically because it concerns His Highness. So I think it's better that he only learn AFTER we've brought King Yuri back safely. Otherwise, everyone will know right away that His Majesty has-"

"Very well, I'll return to the tomb and ask for the Great One's approval," Conrad interrupted, "Just be sure not to tell Wolfram or Gretta either. Not yet."

"If all goes well..." Gwendal said, "...we won't have to tell Gretta at all. Wolfram's liable to find out one way or another but I think that Gretta would be heartbroken to learn of this. It was hard enough when Yuri last left the Great Demon Kingdom without knowing if or that he would be able to return. Now, you go on ahead. I'll take care of matters here."

"Alright, I'll be back soon." Conrad nodded. Then he left, still feeling a bit guilty for not telling the others as well about me. However, as Gwendal said, it was better handled this way. And he usually knew what was best.

But little did they know that-as usual-things were about to go terribly awry for them. Well, for me specifically. Because as usual, I was about to do something I'd regret later.

In my defense though I had no idea I was doing it. Not until it was already too late...

Later that day, my mom drove the two of us to the hospital for a checkup and to redress the bandages around the gash on my forehead. Maybe today we'd even be able to get the stitches out. My ribs were already healing up nicely and it didn't hurt so much to move anymore. But still, we had to make sure everything was healing properly. Not to mention the doctor had evaluate the severity of my amnesia too...

When we got there, I felt very uncomfortable. I had never liked hospitals in general, if only because I couldn't do anything to ease the suffering of those around me. Not unless I grew up to be a doctor. Even then though, there was something about them that just bugged me.

Maybe it was the smell, or maybe it was the fact that some doctors smoked just outside the hospital doors. I mean come on! They treated lung cancer and things like that only to get it themselves? It seemed kinda pointless to me.

As I sat patiently on the bench, the doctor, Dr. Rodriguez, I think it was, helped me remove the last of my bandages so he could see how it was healing up. He seemed happy to see the swelling had gone down and that the skin was starting to grow back together properly. That's when he removed the stitches.

However, the doctor said that I would likely develop a thin scar because of how large the gash had originally been. The scar would end up tracing from the rim of my hair to just above my eyebrow. A memento of what I had lived through.

It was slightly 'X' shaped with one the long line from my forehead to my eyebrow and then a thin crossed line where the skin had split closer to my hairline. But thankfully, it was healing faster now and redness that had outlined it before was fading quickly.

Still, I almost laughed aloud when I glanced at it in the mirror during a bathroom break. If the shape had been just a little different, I could have gone around on Halloween telling people I was Harry Potter, or the Boy Who Lived. Other than that scar, I was so relieved to see that my side had almost completely healed too and nearly no trace of large bruise that had once been there before was visible.

I kept staring at my face for a long moment because I could have sworn I saw a flash of someone with a similar scar staring back at me. I knew him...from somewhere far away. Wasn't he, someone very dear to me? Maybe...even a bit more?

That instant, a wave of dizziness hit me and I slumped to my knees on the floor, gasping. I stared at the floor for a minute to stop the spinning and to keep myself from hurling right then and there. The shock of what I had seen combined with the overwhelming sense of guilt not knowing who that person was brought tears to my eyes. And I still didn't know why.

I had completely forgotten that I was still in the hospital and jolted when my mother knock on the door, "Sweetie? Are you alright in there?" she asked with obvious concern.

"I'm ok!" I replied, slowly getting back up. "I was just admiring how good I've healed up. I might even be able to start playing baseball again soon." I laughed nervously, trying to cover up the lie.

"Well your check up isn't done yet so come on back out here. We need to see if you are ready to go back to school too," she said brightly, "You're education is important Yu-chan! Gotta learn as much as you can while you're still young so that you can show it off! Can't let your brother Shori get all the glory now can we?"

I rolled my eyes and opened the door, smiling, "I know mom."

"Call me 'mama'" my mother pouted slightly, leading me back to the bench and sitting me down, "But you know..." she suddenly became very serious and cupped her hand on my cheek, glancing into my eyes then at the fading gash on my head and back as she said warmly, "I'm just so thankful that you've gotten so much better now. You've made so much progress Yuri! I was worried about you, we all were. But no matter what, you've always found a way through it. You're the son of Miko Shibuya after all! I'm so proud of you Yuri for being so strong throughout all this. Just keep it up, and you'll get there, back to the way you used to be."

I cupped my hand over hers and grinned brightly, "Yeah, thanks mom. I'll try..."

Afterword's, once the doctor had finished with the new bandages, he asked me the same series of questions as the first doctor had. Only this time, I was able to answer almost all of them.

I still needed my mother's help with a few of them but otherwise I was set to go. He said he would have another doctor review the test and get back to us. So until then, we had to wait at the hospital a bit longer for the results...

"I wish I could have tested his magic skills too but it was too dangerous," Doctor Rodriguez explained to my mom after I left to get some fresh air outside while they talked privately for a bit. "Bob pulled some strings so that I'd be the one to take a look at him today but I gotta say, I don't see all that much wrong with him. Your son is a strong kid Mrs. Shibuya. And I did manage to examine a few things with my minimal amount of power but he appears to have still retained all of his powers. They're completely stable."

"So what does that mean...?" she asked him earnestly, "How much longer until he remembers everything? His friends over in the other world must be worried sick about him!"

"I'm sure they are, but it's still too soon for him to go back there," Rodriguez reasoned, "Because while on their own his powers are stable, there's no telling how actually activating them will affect his health, especially mentally. It might trigger a far more severe case of memory loss and we can't risk that. Not with how much progress Yuri has already made..." then he smiled, "...it's better to be slow and thorough then hasty and careless when it comes to cases like this. We can also entrust Ken Murata with taking care of him when he DOES go back to the other side. Because if anyone knows how to deal with repressed memories, its him."

In my aimless wanderings I found myself in front of a fountain sitting off the side of the entrance to the main building. For a while, I just watched the people going in and out of the doors. Some checking in while others were gladly going home to their families.

Watching them, I remembered the day I finally left the hospital. I was still a bit woozy from being stuck in bed that whole time but I was able to at least reach the car without passing out. My family had been very supportive and once I knew that I was safe, I relaxed and nodded off as we went to go pick up Shori from the airport.

I smiled at the memory because in fact, I knew that I was very fortunate. There were some who entered these doors that would never leave them again. Some would die alone; some would never fully recover; and some would never get the chance to say goodbye to the people they loved. I hadn't. I had been one of the lucky ones. I survived, and I got to see the people I loved once again.

Without warning, I suddenly jumped up from my seat as if I had been shocked and started towards the fountain. This overwhelming urge to jump in clouded everything else. That yearning that I had been fighting this whole time suddenly just seemed to overflow.

I have to go back there...I kept thinking deliriously with each step closer, I have to see their faces again or I'll never get them back. I'll never get to say-what was it...? What was it I needed to say to them again? And who are 'they'...?

When I came to the edge of the fountain, I stood on the edge and stared down at my reflection. As I stared at myself, it had changed when a gust of wind rippled the surface. My hair had become longer, about shoulder length, and my eyes had become slitted like a cat's. Then, I saw a figure behind me, and when our eyes locked, all I remember happening was the world around me fading with nothing else but his image staring back at me, beckoning me into the water.

I fell into a sort of trance and felt myself gravitating towards the water face-first. The wall of water slammed into me and curled around my body, irritating the remaining bruises still on my skin, and nearly tearing the bandage on my head completely loose.

I had no idea what was happening, but despite myself, I found myself smiling. I was going to where I needed to be. To where I would find the answer that had thus far eluded me.

However, it wasn't long until I felt that same searing pain erupt in my head again. Once that happened, somehow I sensed that something or someone had taken that chance to suddenly yanked me away from my present destination. A stray thought from a shard of memory that had chosen now of all times to surface helped fuel this change in direction. And before I knew it, I tossed my head in a wild spray of water and stared dizzily at my new surroundings.

I staggered to my feet in the large bath chamber I found myself in and the world continued to warp and lurch as if I was still trapped underwater. I felt like I was drowning. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't breathe properly. Later on I realized that I must have been going into shock or something.

Anyway, I unsteadily climbed out of the pool, clutching my aching head in a vain attempt to keep the bandages in place. Not to mention stop the intense throbbing in my head.

During my episode of delirium, I had only just made it out of the room when I saw a dark gray-haired man in the hallway. His hair was cut short with the exception of a long section of bangs hanging from the right side of his sharp, intelligent looking face. He was also wearing a dark purplish-gray cloak that covered his black and red uniform. With a thin sword belted to his hip, hidden by the folds of the cloak.

I saw him sigh heavily to himself before the man turned the corner and froze when he saw me. Our eyes locked for a brief moment and he exclaimed, "Your Majesty?" as he rushed towards me in alarm at the sight of the loose bandages.

I blinked slowly at him, still clutching my head in agony. His words hadn't registered with me at all. It was almost as if all sound in the world had either been muted or silenced by some invisible force. I couldn't hear what he had said. In fact, I could barely even hear the sound of my own heart pounding.

Just before he could reach me, my world spiraled into darkness and my eyes rolled into the back of my skull as I collapsed. I slumped to my knees and then fell over with a dull thud. As the pain in my head vanished along with my consciousness, the ground seemed unbelievably soft while I continued to drift away into oblivion. And while I couldn't really hear anything, I could still feel. When the man reached me, carefully, I felt his touch as he held me upright and started shouting for his soldiers to come and assist him.

I think he tried to talk to me then, asking what had happened and what ailed me, but, I had already fallen unconscious by that point. Afterword's, his men quickly came to his side and helped lift me into a stretcher. Hurrying me off to the nearest room to assess the severity of my black out before immediately calling a doctor.

Their first priority was making sure my life was not in danger, then they could worry about what had brought me to them. Could there have been an attack on the castle? Had someone infiltrated the other world? And more importantly, what were they going to do now that they had the Demon King all alone in Spitzbeg Castle? Knowing that possibly, they were the only ones aware of my arrival...?