Chapter 3

A Day in the Life of Jangwa

Why Maisha is so obsessed with that boy is beyond me. I mean, she's only known him for a week, and now they're like, an item? It doesn't seem right to me.

Don't get me wrong, I want the girl to be happy, but it just seems too soon. I don't believe in that 'love at first sight' or 'soul mates' kind of thing. 'Cause, basically, they're saying,"Yeah, you have the love of your life out there somewhere, but chances are you're not going to find them because they could be anywhere in the world. Sorry."

It's like, "What the hell? That's what you're telling me?"

So, yeah, logic all the way for me.

Anyway, I've been closely observing these two to make sure Maisha doesn't get herself into any trouble. Man, why did I have to take her to The Clearing? God, this is all my fault.

Last night I saw them getting all snuggly in the meadow. And now here I am, trying to figure out what to say to Maisha to get her away from Upendo without giving away her parents' secret.

Ugh! Why do I have to be burdened with a filthy secret! I hate secrets! My family was always truthful about everything! Well, maybe we could've kept a few things to ourselves...Like how much we thought our sister was ugly or our mom was mean... Well, anyway, back on track.

Well, I could tell Maisha that Upendo was lying about his age and he's actually just a good-for-nothing pervert...but Upendo doesn't deserve that. Umm...Maybe tell her that Upendo told me to tell her that he isn't interested anymore? No, that would get me in trouble, Maisha hurt, and they would get back together again anyway.

Hmmm...Ah hah! I know! I'll tell Upendo that Maisha is seeing someone else! Or...hmm. Not such a good idea.

Ow, my head hurts. When I got my not-so-brilliant idea, My head shot up so fast I hit the ceiling of my den. Jeez, rock is hard.

Uh-oh. Maisha's coming. I must have cried out when I hit my head. And I still haven't figured out what to say.

"Um, hey Maisha." Why did I have to sound so uncomfortable and nervous?

"Hey Jangwa. Is everything okay? I heard you cry out." Now she's looking at me with this confused smile on her face. What do I say, what do I say?

"Oh, I just bumped my head a bit, nothing to worry about." Now smile. Come on Jangwa, smile. There we go. She's smiling back.

"Well, alright, as long as you're okay," and she's starting to turn around to leave. Here's my chance!

"Um, hey, Maisha?"

"Yeah?" Now she's looking all innocent and I can't do it. I just can't do that to my best friend.

"Nothing, nevermind. It's not important," I'm mumbling, but that's a lie, it's crazy important. But I just let her go.

"Probably off to see Upendo again." I say under my breath. But what's really got me worried is, what am I going to say to Jua?

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As I walk up the rock slope, I don't look at anything except my paws and the ground in front of me. Jua's gonna be so freaking mad.

Finally I've reached the entrance to the den. Does it really take that long to walk the slope or was I just stalling?

Now I'm stopped outside the rock cave. Damn. I'm afraid to go in. I can't believe I just thought that. Imagine that, Jangwa, afraid. But I am. I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's not Jua's wrath, because she rarely ever loses her temper, and when she does, you can tell she's mad but she does her best to keep her composure.

I'm not afraid of someone being disappointed in me, because when I was a cub my family and I didn't give a crap.

Then what is it that I'm afraid of?

Maybe I'm afraid that I'll say something that I shouldn't have said, like telling Jua that I can't do this to my best friend and she should just get someone else to be her messenger. My conscience is telling me to do just that, and...maybe I will.

Finally, I enter the den.

Jua is lying in the corner farthest away from the entrance, and despite her position, her expression gives away that she'd been anxiously awaiting me, not relaxed.

"What did you tell her?" Her words echo through the room, and then fades. There is a long silence until Jua speaks again.

"Answer me. Did you even see her today?" I consider telling her no, but I don't want to lie to anyone anymore. Mustering up all my courage, I finally speak.

"Yes." I try to hold my head up proud, but I'm not proud of what I'm doing. Jangwa just can't win. No matter what, I have to let someone down. And it doesn't feel good.

"So, what did you tell her?" Jua prompts again. I take a deep breath and ask myself, is it better to lose your best friend than to lose the trust of the queen?

"Nothing. I didn't tell her anything." Jua stares at me. Now she's growing angry, but she's trying to hide it. It doesn't work.

"And why not?!" Her voice is just a hiss now, and I've realized that when Jua gets mad her voice isn't raised, she hisses, and that makes it all the more harder to answer her. But, a lioness has to do what lioness has to do. I take another deep breath and hope that Jua is ready for the torrent about to come crashing down on her.

"I couldn't tell her anything because she's my best friend. I would never in a million years ever do anything to hurt her! I would keep the truth from her if the truth was too much to bear, and now you want me to hurt her but in lying as well?! Don't you have a heart you bitch, even a the smallest bit for your own daughter?! Is it your wish to make her unhappy?! Don't you see that Upendo is her love, not some random lion who walks in and decides to take Maisha as his own?! You don't know what is best for Maisha, only she knows that. And if she believes that Upendo is best for her, then you should at least support her in her decision, and if she changes her mind support her again! Does Mwezi even know about this whole damn thing?! I bet he doesn't. What would he say if he knew what you're doing?! I don't care about your shit trust! I only care about Maisha, because she is the closest thing I have to family after that massacre, and I love her! If she hurts, I hurt even more! How could you wish that on either of us?"

I finally stop in my rampage, to take a breather and also to let all that sink into the brain of that heartless Jua! I've finished, but I'm still boiling mad. What was that woman thinking?! But there's nothing left for me to say. Everything I'd been holding in, I've once and for all let it out.

Look at that idiot. Just lying there with that stupid look on her face. I'm out of here. Just as I'm about out the exit, I curl my lip and say,"You disgust me," and I don't look back.