Chapter 2 - Lou-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

Hogrid let out an ear-shattering belch and didn't even bother excusing himself. Harry had to smack his right ear a few times because he could have sworn he was slowly going deaf. He also wondered how a tiny man like Hogrid could release such a monstrous sound.

"You gonna eat that?" Hogrid eyed the half eaten chicken breast on Harry's plate.

"Dig in," Harry immediately handed the little ravenous man his dish. Hogrid looked as if he would have bitten his hand off if he hadn't.

"Sweet!" Hogrid laughed merrily as he continued to chow down and whisper lovingly to his food.

"So uh..." Harry put his hands together and waited until Hogrid swallowed before he spoke again. "What now? You claim that I'm … a wizard?"

Hogrid nodded," Yes child! Yes you are a wizard!"

"So my parents …" Harry began. "My real parents, they were also wizards?"

"You mean your father Mick Jagger?"

"M-My father is Mick Jagger?"

"Indeed, he was a wizard!" Hogrid raised his fork. "Those mo0ooves weren't all natural. Oh no sir! He cheated a little with magic."

Harry nearly fell off his chair as he continued listening to the small man babble on. "Don't tell me … my mother's Shakira too!"

"Now your mother, she's no wizard. She was a Muggle."

"Wow, this is a lot to take in," Harry took a deep breath and began fanning himself with a napkin. "But are you sure my mother isn't Shakira because I've been told that my hips don't lie. I believe I'm a great dancer."

"No, your mum is not Shakira!" Hogrid was tempted to throw his fries at Harry but decided to eat them instead.

Harry slouched down in disappointment. He also realized he was still a bit hungry, after all, Hogrid scarfed down all his food. "Can I have a fry?"

"NO PO-TA-TOES FOR YOU!" Hogrid slammed his fist against the table. He then stared at his watch and jumped out of his seat. "We've been here for quite a while. Come on! We need to go down to the bank before it closes. Your parents left you a little somethin' somethin'."

"Okay," Harry nodded his head and reached for a fry.

"Don't touch my fry!" Hogrid smacked his hand.

Within seconds they appeared inside of the Pussgotts Wizarding Bank which to Harry's surprise, was run by cats- female cats to be exact.

"Hey, how you doin'?" were the first words that came out of his mouth as he winked at the nearest cat lady who purred in response.

Hogrid elbowed him in the stomach and said with his cute Irish accent, "Oi! Control yerself boy!"

"Sorry," Harry rubbed his eyes in amazement. "It's just ... I think I'm in heaven."

"Um excuse me," Hogrid waved at the lady Harry was flirting with earlier. "Over here! Yoo-hoo!"

"How may I help you?" the woman ran her paws through her charcoal-coloured fur.

"This is Arry Sty-lah and ..."

The cat lady gasped, "Are you serious? It can't be! Oh my gosh ... the curls! The dimples! It really must be him."

The other female cats immediately turned their necks to face Harry as they began stroking his hair.

"You poor, poor boy!" One of the ladies spoke.

"You were so brave," said another. "After all you beat You-Know-Lou!"

"He was barely 1 when he did so!" a furry woman with a clean white coat sniffed him. "Incredible!"

"I did what?" Harry cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I defeated who?"

"You-Know-Lou!" the lady sniffing him repeated.

"Whazzat?" Harry asked.

"Ladies, hands off!" Hogrid finally pulled him to the side. "You-Know-Lou also known as ... Louehmort."

"LOUEHMORT?" said Harry.

"Shh! You musnt't say his name," Hogrid shook his head. "It's jinxed!"

"But you just said..."

"I know what I said and that is the last time you'll ever hear me say it!" Hogrid said once and for all.

"Can you tell me who he is at least?" Harry begged.

"Oh alright! Lou-" Horgid cleared his throat. "I mean You-Know-Lou used to be the most honourable and heroic wizard of all time. He was a nice young lad who would always be out saving the damsels, stopping natural disasters in the Muggle world, helping the poor and so on. Some even referred to him as the 'Wizard Superman'."

"He sounds like a good man," murmured Harry.

"No!" screamed Hogrid. "That was the old You-Know Lou. But after a while of playing the good guy, he eventually grew tired of his rep and evil slowly began to poison his mind until we finally lost him."

Hogrid shook his head and covered his eyes, the poor leprechaun looked as if he were reliving some old memories he didn't want to remember. "First it began with the pure loathing of curls!"

"I have curls!" Harry gasped.

"Then it came down to hating people who had dimples and for some strange reason he couldn't stand cats."

"But I have dimples and I love cats! Who could hate on pussies?" Harry whimpered.

"Which is why he came after you!" said Hogrid. "Anyone who had any of those qualities was turned into his favourite vegetables. Some even say he ate them from time to time, that sick bastard!"

"Oh my gosh! He was a cannibal!" Harry screamed in a girly pitch.

"Unfortunately you almost received the same fate as those poor souls that were turned."

"My parents, did they..."

"Sacrifice their lives for you? Yes," Hogrid put a hand on Harry's knee cap. "Don't believe that rubbish about how they died slipping on a banana. No sir! They used their own bodies to shield you and luckily You-Know-Lou's veggie curse bounced back to himself. No one's heard from him ever since. You were the very first to survive his curse and apparently, he was so shocked and ashamed that he went into hiding."

"Oh."

"Your parents were great people Harry," Hogrid took his hand. "Now come on, let's get what we came here for."

"Sweet corn?" Harry could feel some drool dribble down his chin as he eyed the golden mountain of corny goodness. "They left me all of this?"

"The sweetest," Hogrid nodded.

"Yum!" Harry reached for a handful and was ready to shove it down his throat when Hogrid knocked it out of his hands.

"Are you crazy?" yelled Hogrid. "Don't eat it! That's our currency here in the wizarding world."

"You're kidding," Harry sighed in disappointment.

"Now hurry along child, stuff yer pockets a plenty!" ordered Hogrid. "We're going shopping!"

Harry ended up buying new robes that came with a cute set of different coloured bow-ties, a brand new broomstick called the Dimplus 3000, all the books he needed for school, a new wand made out of corn cob, a pussycat he decided to name Darcy and to his excitement he even bought 10 frying pans.

"Good luck m'boy!" Hogrid waved at Harry as he went aboard the Snogwarts express. "I'll see you soon!"

"See you Hogrid! Thanks for everything!" Harry waved back.

Harry then ventured off to find an empty compartment to settle in but instead stumbled upon a dazzling boy with a beautiful birthmark on his neck. Just when Harry was about to slide the door closed to look for another compartment, the boy spoke.

"Hullo," he said while stroking his pet turtle. "You can sit here if you like."

"Um...thanks," Harry timidly walked in as he dragged his luggage along with Darcy who gracefully walked by his side.

"I'm Liamold Peazley," they boy held out his hand. "My mum calls me Lima Bean, but you can call me Liam."

"I'm Harry, Harry Styler."

Liam nearly dropped his turtle. "Harry? The Harry Styler?"

"Did you say Harry Styler?" a stunning dark-haired girl walking by stopped on her tracks and decided to join the boys instead. "It really is him! The hair! The curls! The dimples!" The girl fluttered her eyelashes. "Vas happenin? I'm Zaynmione Manger."