"Sanada, why don't you go first?" Yukimura offered pleasantly, and held out the hat. "It's your cap, after all."
The look on Sanada's face heavily implied that he didn't care for this competition in any way whatsoever, but for the sake of his pretty, pretty captain, he reached in and pulled out a sheet of paper. "Inui Sadaharu," he read, and seemed vaguely annoyed that his partner would be from Seigaku. "Great."
"Will you and Inui-kun please step to the side?" Shiraishi said, and called, "Next!"
"I'll go!" Momoshiro offered cheerily. "I hope it's someone from Seigaku."
"That's highly unlikely," Atobe informed him. "But for my teammates' sake, I hope it is someone from Seigaku."
"Did you just insult me?" Momoshiro asked, offended.
Atobe folded his arms. "So I did. Pull a name out of the hat and let's get moving."
"Fine!" Momo closed his eyes and pulled out a random piece of paper. ". . . no way."
"Who is it?" Eiji asked eagerly.
"Konjiki Koharu," Momo said slowly. "Oh dear God no get me out of here help somebody heeeeeeeelp—"
Koharu beamed. "I hope we'll get along well, Momo-jiri-kun!" he said, frolicking over to Momo's side and nuzzling his cheek.
"IT'S MOMOSHIRO!"
Atobe ignored him. "Next!"
Fuji was assigned Chitose, and the two of them greeted one another pleasantly. Kaido was assigned Yanagi, Yuushi with Yagyuu, Choutaro with Taka-san, Gin with Shishido, Kabaji with Eiji, and Niou with Kenya.
Kenjirou (you know, that guy nobody knows about from Shitenhouji) pulled out a sheet of paper and read, "Mukahi Gakuto?"
Gakuto walked over to him and gave him a long stare. Kenjirou stared back. They both just stared for like, ten minutes, and then Gakuto said, "Hello. Who are you?"
Kenjirou face-faulted.
"I'll go next," Jackal offered, and pulled out a random slip of paper. He looked at the name in surprise. "Akaya."
"OMGYAY!" Akaya cheered. "Jackal-senpai's my partner!"
"Nobody else got somebody from their own team," Jackal mourned, "and I'm stuck with the overgrown fourteen year old child I have to babysit everyday, anyway. Life just isn't fair to the bald. Kami-sama, do you want me to wear a wig or something?"
"Echizen, why don't you go next?" Fuji offered.
"Fine," Echizen said, and walked over to the hat apathetically. He apathetically pulled out a sheet of paper. He unfolded the paper apathetically. He read the name a lot less apathetically. "Tooyama Kintarou."
The expression on his face quite obviously said, Crap.
But apathetically.
Because he's just that apathetic.
"Yay, I'm with Koshimae!" Kintarou cheered. "Yayayayayayay—"
"Please," Echizen said, "stop talking."
Yuuji went next. The flamboyantly gay guy from Shitenhouji whose doubles partner (among other things) is constantly cheating on him. It was apparent from the remaining people's faces that everyone was begging, Please don't let him pick me, please please please please please.
"It's too bad I'm not with Koharu," he commented, then beamed. "But I'm sure I'll fall madly in love with whomever I pick, anyway! And then we can have a threesome when this whole thing is over!"
Everyone's faces paled as Yuuji reached for a slip of paper.
"Oishi Shuichiro," he read. His smile lit up his face. "That's fantastic! You'll be great for a threesome—especially since you and Koharu are both bald and everything."
"I'm not bald!" Oishi protested, but then Yuuji practically pounced on him, and Atobe neatly sidestepped them, holding out the hat.
"Who's next?" Atobe asked, ignoring Oishi's pleas for help.
"I'll go," Marui offered, and pulled out a name. "No one left from RikkaiDai, huh? That sucks. Lemme see . . . Akutagawa Jiroh."
Jiroh practically squealed. "This is so awesome do you see this Atobe I get to be partners with my idol oh happy day I love my life yay!" He latched onto Marui's arm and rambled, "I still have that wristband you gave me at the Newcomer's Tournament! The Wilson one? Do you remember?"
"I didn't give it to you," Marui protested. "You forcibly ripped it from my wrist!"
"Same difference!" Jiroh insisted.
"So, who's left?" Yukimura asked, ignoring everybody's protests about their partners.
"I'm not sure," Tezuka commented. "We have fourteen pairs already, so there should be two people left—but I don't see them."
"WE'RE RIGHT HERE," Zaizen and Hiyoshi yelled simultaneously. "We're standing right in front of you, damn it!"
"So you are," Shiraishi said offhandedly.
"Alright, you two are a pair, then," Yukimura decided, in a tone of voice that implied he didn't really care. Poor Zaizen and Hiyoshi.
"Next, tell your partner something about yourself, to get to know one another," Tezuka ordered. "When you're done, focus your attention on the captains and stay silent."
"Yes sir," everybody chorused, and turned back to their partners.
x
"I'm flippy," Gakuto said flatly.
"I'm the fukubuchou of Shitenhouji," Kenjirou replied.
Gakuto looked totally unimpressed. "You don't have any defining characteristics, do you?"
"Shut up," said Kenjirou.
What a wonderful pair they'll make.
x
"My teammates imply I'm scary," Fuji said. "I can't imagine why. Just because I like to scare people out of their wits and torture them by any means possible doesn't make me scary, does it?"
"Um," said Chitose.
"Come on," Fuji persisted. "Haven't you ever been misunderstood?"
"Well, people do say I have a sister complex," Chitose said thoughtfully. "Even though I'm pretty sure I don't. I mean, just because I hit every male who comes within ten feet of her with a tennis ball doesn't mean I have a sister complex, right?"
"Exactly!" Fuji exclaimed. "People say I have a brother complex, but I definitely don't. I mean, just because I take my brother out on dates and beat the hell out of Mifluki doesn't mean I have a brother complex!"
"We really do have a lot in common," Chitose agreed.
"Us misunderstood geniuses," Fuji mourned.
They sighed.
x
Eiji said tentatively, "Hi there, Kabaji-kun! We played a match once, remember? Just before Seigaku faced RikkaiDai?"
"Usu."
"And then you tried to copy my acrobatics," Eiji continued, looking a little pissed off. "Remember that, nya?"
"Usu."
"And then I beat you," Eiji added, pleased. Remember that?"
"Usu."
He beamed. "We'll make a great team, nya!"
". . . usu."
x
"So," said Yuushi.
"Mm," said Yagyuu.
"I play doubles with Gakuto," Yuushi offered.
"And I with Niou," Yagyuu replied.
"Hmm."
"Mm."
x
Choutaro bowed lowly. "I hope we'll work well together, Kawamura-san!"
Taka-san looked embarrassed. "Please, just call me Taka."
"Okay, Taka-san," Choutaro replied obediently.
They both stood there, radiating niceness.
x
"And then you pulled off that Tightrope Walking move," Jiroh gushed, "and I was like, star struck! By then you were already beating me five games to two, but man, it was the most amazing day of my life! And then, after the match, I got to see you with your teammates and you actually said hi to me! I was so happy, because your moves are just awesome and you were actually nice enough to greet me and you're just, like, perfect, and—"
"And then you ran over to me like a rabid puppy and almost broke my arm, trying to steal my wristband," Marui finished, vaguely annoyed.
x
Hiyoshi and Zaizen stared at each other.
"Who are you?" they asked simultaneously.
"I'm Zaizen, from Shitenhouji," Zaizen said.
"I'm Hiyoshi, from Hyotei," Hiyoshi said.
They stared.
"This is the first time I've heard of you," Hiyoshi admitted.
"Ditto," said Zaizen.
They frowned. "I'm always forgotten," they said simultaneously, then looked at each other in surprise. "No way! You too?" they exclaimed at the same time. Then, annoyed, they said (simultaneously), "Stop copying me. No, you stop copying me. No, you!"
They sighed. Simultaneously. "Woe is me," they said. Simultaneously.
x
"Are we all ready?" Yukimura asked. How his soft, slightly feminine (but like hell he'd ever admit it) was heard over the clamor was nothing short of a miracle. "If so, the captains will be announcing the rules for round one."
A dismal chorus of agreement rang out, and Yukimura smiled his I'm-so-happy-I'm-not-you smile. "Then let's proceed."