Somehow, I managed to make it to my house without punching a lamp post or store window. My dad was with the rest of the police force (and Heiji) on that case, and once again, I realized how quiet life was at the moment.

Well, how quiet real life was at the moment. My mind certainly was not being quiet. Instead, it kept on replaying Candy's words over and over and OVER again. Like she had seized control of my mind and wouldn't let it drift to less aggravating memories.

Plopping down on the couch, I grabbed the nearest and pillow and buried my face in it. But I didn't feel like crying into the pillow, or screaming profanities into it. I just, felt too many emotions circulating through my brain, and I wanted so badly to just fall asleep and forget about it all.

Honestly, you don't have a chance with him. Haven't you heard of this thing called friendzoning?

She didn't need to say ANY of that. All of these thoughts had already occurred to me years ago. I don't even know when I started wondering about things like that. It had begun so gradually, and I wasn't even sure WHAT I was feeling. I'm still not really sure now. I used to tell myself before that Heiji was like a brother to me. It would explain why I was so overprotective and I did love him. But only in that way.

And then I started to realize that it was more than that. And halfway through middle school, I knew that I liked him. Just a little bit though. Slightly more than a friend, but I knew that he didn't like me back. A person that liked you back didn't call you an ahou every second of the day.

So I just buried the thought in the back of my mind. But then, high school started, and all of those past feelings just came surging back. And then now, after realizing how much I couldn't bear to see Heiji with Candy or anyone else…

I definitely liked him.

"UGHHH" I groaned into the pillow. "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?"

Throughout the rest of the day, I tried to busy to myself with homework and studying. And then drastic times called for drastic measures, and by six at night I was marching over to the closet and grabbing a broom. I cleaned the house, willing myself to not think about… well, you know who.

I swear the house had never looked so clean. I kept glancing at the clock. But by eleven at night, there was still no door knock or ringing of the bell. Dad usually always got back later than Heiji, because he'd go out with the other officers to celebrate. But Heiji always came back to me.

And I knew Heiji hadn't simply just gone home without telling me. He'd never do that. Every single time, he'd always show up at my doorstep first. And I never admitted it, but those moments when he was tired and weak, but still made the decision to come see me, those moments stayed in my heart and mind long after he left.

He'd be too tired to talk, so those were also the few times when we didn't argue, and he'd just sit on the couch drinking soup or just sleeping. Occasionally, I'd let him lay his head on my lap, and he didn't care. I definitely didn't care. And I could just sit there and study his face and smooth his hair, letting him rest after having to work so hard.

But then he'd have to leave and the next day, we were back to our usual, bickering routine.

I guess those times together though, kept up that tiny flicker of hope that Candy's words could never extinguish.

And… oh, crap, I was thinking about Heiji again.

Eventually, when the clock struck midnight, I just climbed into bed and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, when I heard my cellphone vibrating on the nightstand. Could it be?

Shoving the covers back and leaping out of the bed with as much grace as Candy, I grabbed the phone and sat down on the ground. Flipping open the cover, I checked the name.

And sighed.

"Hey, dad," I answered, trying to muster some fake ounce of happiness into my voice.

"Hey, sweetie, so, um, the case is taking a bit longer than I would've though. So I might not be able to come home for a while. I'm calling you from the hotel we're staying at, and well, if you don't want to stay home alone, I could always just come back. There's more than enough police officers here, but it's really up to you."

As much as I HATED being home alone (especially without Heiji next door), I wasn't so selfish as to keep my dad with me. There was a murder investigation going on, for goodness sakes.

"Nah, it's okay, Dad," I said, putting on a smile so that he could hear it through the phone. "You do your job, don't worry about me, okay?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, honestly, I'm seventeen now, you don't have to worry about me!"

"Okay, that's my girl," I could hear the warmth in his voice to make up for not being able to come home. I knew he had a lot of guilt going on, what with Mom and everything, he knew that it was hard on me.

"Okay, bye, Dad, love you," I said.

"Love you, too." I heard the receiver click on the other end of the line.

While my dad not being able to come home didn't bother me too much, what did bother me was the fact that if he was going to be detained, Heiji would be detained as well.

This day already felt so incredibly long without him here, how was I going to cope with a few more days?

It almost felt like I was sleepwalking through the next few days. I went through the motions of sleeping and waking up and going to school, but for some reason, everything seemed so devoid of meaning. Fortunately, since Heiji hadn't been at school, Candy had also stopped bothering me. But I would've been happy to put up with her if Heiji was only around. Though I still hadn't gotten back to her on her "request" some days ago. I suppose she felt that it wouldn't matter since Heiji wasn't here to fulfill any of her wishes.

It's only been four days without talking to Heiji, and for some reason, it seemed like an eternity. I didn't think that life would seem so… lifeless without him.

Still, there was nothing I could do. He was off, being a hero, solving a case, and here I was… curled up on the sofa, utterly useless as I stared at my calculus homework.

I had gone to the doctor's yesterday after school, taking the bus by myself, careful to avoid the jostling of the other passengers.

The doctor seemed extremely pleased with how well my arm was healing, and had been willing to take my arm out of the thick cast and wrap it in gauze before sending me off with well wishes.

It was Friday again. And that stupid ahou still wasn't back yet.

Just how long was this case taking anyway?

And then that paranoid, unreasonable, slap-deserving side of me began jumping to conclusions a mile a minute.

A million "what if"s invaded my brain. And as much as I tried gather the reigns of my brain and focus is on math, it was stubbornly disobeying me.

What if something had gone wrong on the investigation?

What if Heiji HAD figured it out and was tracking the criminal?

What if the criminal was armed?

What if Heiji was being stupid? (Actually, that's kind of a rhetorical question, since the answer has been and will always be yes.)

What if he gets shot?

What if he becomes unconscious?

What if he gets kidnapped?

WHAT. IF. HE DIES.

Or worse…

What if aliens come and abduct him?

Okay so that last question wasn't entirely serious. I was just trying to be my own comic relief. But that question before that. What if he died… before I've gotten the chance to tell him…

Tell him what?

But at that exact moment, someone up there must have taken pity on me (which I mean come on, I kinda deserved some pity after everything that's happened.) Because even though I had frozen on the couch when I heard footsteps outside the door, and then practically thought I was going to have a heart attack when the door slowly opened (like in those horror movies), all of my energy and hope and light (as cliché as that may be) flooded back into me when I heard,

"You really need to change where you keep your house key hidden, ahou."

Was this going to be regular thing now? Heiji showing up at my door at the times when I thought I needed him most?

Ahem, not that I really minded.

"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?" I exclaimed, jumping off the couch.

"So you missed me?"

I almost stopped in midair at his cheeky response. Heiji, at least the Heiji I've known the past years, would NEVER say that.

"Uh…" I paused. "Who are you and what have you done with Heji?"

He rolled his eyes. "Ahou, I was just kidding."

"Whatever," I muttered. "Anyways, how was the case?"

"It was pretty good. It was kinda of complicated though cuz the guy we initially thought…" he drawled on as he took off his jacket and then promptly plopped down on the couch, rubbing his forehead.

"Wow, seems intense," I said after he'd finished.

"Yeah, but it was worth it. That guy got what he deserved."

I nodded. Then sat back down next to him on the couch. He shifted a little, and I realized that we were sitting EXTREMELY close to each other.

Eep.

"So," Heiji turned to look at me. He was grinning. Not a good sign.

"So?"

"So, what's for dinner?"

SMACK!

"You didn't have to hit me so hard, gosh," Heiji whined after his third bowl of food. "Come one, I just worked so hard on that case, and then I get back, and get SLAPPED. Don't you think that's just a BIT unfair?"

"Not if you only see me as a source of free food," I scoffed.

"Yeah, well, you know that's not true," he said, before proceeding to stand up and deposit the bowl in the sink.

"Sure," I shrugged, not entirely believing him. Though I had to admit, the scene right now, seemed so homey and comfortable. It could be a husband returning home from work and…

AND WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

"Anyways, I should head home now. Mom's probably going to be super worried if I don't turn up," he said somewhat resignedly.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, thanks for stopping by, you know, how do you always seem to know when to pop up when I need you to?" I joked.

Heiji looked at me. And there wasn't any sort of laughter dancing in his green eyes at the moment. He was serious. Thinking deeply about something…

"I have my ways," he said, smiling suddenly in that way that sent my heartbeat racing for no apparent reason. Stupid heart.

"And because," he went on. Then I became acutely aware that his hand had found his way to my shoulder and was resting on it. And he was leaning… he was so close.

"Because?" I barely whispered. Was this IT?

"Because…" Heiji trailed off. Looking at the door, then back at me. He swallowed. "Because I come when I really need to see you the most."

Oh.

OH.

My heart was going to explode at the rate it was going.

"Uh, I-I…" I stuttered. Inwardly, I slapped myself. WONDERFUL, KAZUHA. JUST GREAT. YOU'RE DOING A MARVELOUS JOB AT THE MOMENT BEING COHERENT.

Suddenly the phone rang, shattering the atmosphere.

I felt like picking it up and chucking it off a cliff. It just HAD to ring right then and there, when something extraordinarily unexplainable was going to happen. I didn't know what really... but I WANTED it to happen.

Heiji face reddened and his hand slipped off my shoulder, as if his normal side had finally caught up to… whatever side of him had been dominating the past few minutes.

"Um, you, ah- you cook good," He said before practically running out the door and down the steps.

Romantic, isn't it?

Sorry, random Mulan-similarily moment back there. It was on last night.. sooo ahaha. Well, since I fail at my attempt to update regularly, I… actually I'm not sure what I'm going to do (though….. reviews will tend to keep me on track with the story *hint hint*) Anyways, kisses to everyone that has stayed faithful with my lack of regularity in updating. Mua. And hope you guys have had a wonderful holiday season. :D