Chapter 10

The Old You

Mwezi looked over at the pile of dark brown fur that was huddled in the corner, far from him. He didn't move any closer, because he was the one who sent her over there. Jua had kept a secret from him and who knew if there were any more, so he didn't want her near him or Maisha.

Jua moved, and sat up. She glanced over at Mwezi but then kept her eyes averted. She started to wash herself, and Mwezi watched her sweep her tongue over her chest and tan marking that was shaped like a diamond. He couldn't watch anymore. He would do anything for all the memories to stop plaguing him. But he couldn't do anything, so they came.

88

(Memory sequence)

"Mwezi? Is that you?" Jua called from the den.

"Yes, it's me," he answered. "Do you need something?"

As Mwezi walked into the den, he looked at Jua, and she seemed very excited about something. "What's going on, Jua? You've never been so excited about anything in your whole life!" After his joke, they both laughed, but Jua cut it off with shocking news.

"We're going to have a cub," she burst out. Mwezi stood there, shocked, until he realized what she had said.

"We're going to have a cub?" he asked at first. "We're going to have a cub!" Soon they were both dancing around the den until Jua had to sit down. Mwezi lay down beside her and began to groom her fur. They didn't say a word, because they didn't know what to say, and they were too happy to talk. Mwezi continued to groom Jua's fur getting lower and lower down her neck, as he thought of all the things he and his cub would do.

In his grooming he reached her marking, and he swiped his tongue over it gently. Then he pushed her over slowly.

"What are you doing, Mwezi?" Jua asked with a giggle. Mwezi bent down.

"I want to feel the cub kick," he answered. He put his head to Jua's belly, and waited.

"Silly! The cub's not that big yet!" She turned over and licked the top of Mwezi's head, and went to sleep.

88

How Mwezi wished they could go back to that day, and live the whole four months over again, all the way until the day of Maisha's birth. Something had happened to Jua, her attitude changed, and she became distant and cold.

Why did she have to be like that? Why did she have to keep a secret? Mwezi thought hopelessly to himself, and tears started to fall down his face. I want the old Jua back! Give her back!

Mwezi put his paws over his head and sobbed quietly. He looked up when he heard Jua move. She was coming towards him, and he stood up to warn her when she licked away his tears. She didn't say anything, just sat down with him and Mwezi fell asleep again to the sound of Jua's rhythmic grooming of his mane, and right before he did so, she whispered to him,"I'm still in there, Mwezi. The old me can still come back."

88

(Maisha's POV)

Maisha bounded down the rock slope into the valley where she was supposed to meet Upendo. She sat down to catch her breath and wait, but she knew he wouldn't be long. Now that they were starting over, the only thing she knew about him is that, besides her, he was the fastest person to come to a meeting. Soon he jumped out of the tall grass surrounding her.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he replied. "There's something I want to ask you."

"Go ahead," she urged. He looked hesitant and bit his lip before turning back to her.

"Well, I... was wondering if you had made up your mind?" he asked, hesitant at first, but then speedy. Maisha was shocked, and feeling stupid for forgetting. He would obviously want to get an answer, and Upendo didn't even know they were starting over. Well, Maisha thought, I guess now is a good a time as any to tell the truth.

"Upendo, I don't think..." She stopped and thought again. "I don't know what to say to you. I can't really answer, I guess... I mean, it's like... I barely even know you anymore!" she blurted out. Upendo took a step back. There was a pained expression on his face.

"What... What do you mean?" he managed to choke out. There was tears running down his face now, one at a time. It was a gentle flow, tears running in time. Maisha could barely hold back her own now, and then she didn't even try to. She let them flow, to let Upendo know that she was sorry, that she wanted to love him, but... she couldn't.

"I mean I don't know if you've been lying to me this whole time, and once you've lost my trust it will be very hard to earn it back, and I'm sorry, I'm not everything you had hoped for, but..." It was raining hard now, but she could barely feel the drops through her pain.

"I'm sorry... But I just can't love you," she cried. Upendo's face gained even more pain.

"But... I love you," he said, almost a whisper.

"I know you do! And I want to love you back but-"

"Then why don't you?!" Upendo shouted through the rain and his tears.

"Because I can't!" she almost screamed.

"Why can't I get the old Maisha back?" he asked, not to Maisha in particular.

"Because she's gone, and you have to get the new one to love you," Maisha replied in a growl. Then she realized she couldn't be angry at him, seeing that her words had pained even more, if it was even possible. She dropped the tone and spoke again, eyes pleading. "I want to love you. I do! But I can't. I don't know why, but I can't. I feel like I don't know you at all... So please, Upendo, will you start over with me? If everything goes alright, I'll finally answer your question."

Upendo wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the gorge, and Maisha feared the thoughts going through his head.

88

(Upendo's POV)

Upendo stared at the rain-soaked gorge and wondered if he should jump off down onto the muddy ground below. It would be painless, quick. It would take all his troubles away. But then he looked up at Maisha, whose words he had blocked out when she had asked to start over. Now he looked over at her, letting her words enter his ears, and he instead blocked out the pounding rain.

"...don't do this, Upendo! You don't have to jump into that gorge to make me love you," she persuaded. "We just have to start over."

"I'm not a coward, Maisha! And I wouldn't jump into a gorge for someone I barely know," he said, and spoke again. "We can start over." Maisha looked shocked, but then relieved.

"Our old relationship is over, and we're starting fresh, but our old selves are going also. We have to be over it. Do you understand, Upendo?" she asked.

"Yes, Maisha, I understand perfectly well, and we're going to start over. But I can't guarantee you're going to like the new me," he said.

"And I can't guarantee you're going to like the new me. But we have to try," Maisha responded. She nodded her head in the direction of home, that could still be seen through the terrible rain. "Let's go home, New Upendo."

Note 5

Well, here is your promised chapter that is, if I do say so myself, perfect in length. ;) And, you all get a nice new way to look at the couples of the pride! Yay! I don't really know what it is, but that doesn't matter.

Anyway, the pictures I told you guys about aren't coming along too fast, so you might have to wait a while.