A/N: Woop! I'm glad you guys like it. Always here to please. Very cliched, this story. VERY. It's shorter than the Rambles, less than ten chapters maybe. I don't know...I haven't even finished the next chapter yet! Thing you gotta know about me is I never write a story in linear, I dot around all over the place. I've written the chapter after the next one, then skip a chapter, did the one after that, skip one, did half of the one after that...
Anyways. This is gory. You better not have just eaten something.
Chapter 2 – Lateral Thinking
"Doctor, are we dead?" Rose asked hoarsely as they both sat on the grass on the other side of the manor, well away from the graveyard.
"Don't be stupid," the Doctor said with a laugh, though only he knew how forced it was. "How can we possibly be dead? I feel very much alive, thank you very much. I know…well…I should know what being dead feels like and this is guaranteed not to be it."
"Then what the hell is goin' on?"
"Hmmm…" he wondered aloud to himself, "possibly a mental projection imprinted on the neurons allowing kinetic energy to be used from an auto-gen rather than the usual style of kinetic movement humans and infact, most lifeforms use as in the cha-cha slide."
"I'm sorry?"
"A hallucination," the Doctor summed up. He looked up at the manor, wincing as he realised the next strategic move to make. "We've got to go inside." He looked over at Rose, gauging her reaction.
"Alright," she said, getting onto her feet. "Lead the way. Sooner we go in there, the sooner we get out of this place."
"That's it," he said with a grin, also getting to his feet and brushing himself down. "Onwards, upwards!"
They joined hands and trudged over to the front door, avoiding the poisonous plants as the old gravel crunched its protest beneath their feet. As the reached the front door, the Doctor spotted a folded up piece of paper with a small 'G' written on it lying on the doormat, screaming to be opened. He stopped Rose temporarily, kneeling down and taking the paper in hand.
This is Lector Manor.
You are not welcome here.
"Note to the door-to-door salesman," the Doctor remarked casually, pocketing the slip of paper. As he withdrew his hand he realised – with mild shock – his pockets were empty. Someone had taken his things.
"What's wrong?" Rose asked, watching him carefully as he patted down his pockets for any signs of his equipment.
"I've lost everything."
Rose quickly checked her pockets, horrified to discover her phone had gone, along with the strawberry chewing gum and her pink spotted handkerchief she always kept handy.
"Same," she affirmed the Doctor's plight to her own. She reached up a hand to her chest; troubled to find the golden TARDIS key chain had disappeared from around her neck. She was struck immediately by a thought. "D'you reckon the TARDIS is around here someplace?"
He took in a breath, eyebrows raised as he released. "Could very well be. It wasn't in the gardens." He reached out to the front door metal handle, although the door was already ajar – an open invitation. He pushed on the mighty oaken door with both hands, grunting with the effort as the door began to creak open.
He lifted his head to see what they had stepped into.
"Doctor? What's in there?" Rose asked, trying to look over his shoulder but he was totally blocking her view. "Why have you stopped?"
"Rose," his voice was low, commanding. Terrifying. "Don't look."
"Why? What is it?"
"Please, don't look."
"But..." she pushed past him roughly, setting her eyes on the sight.
Her hand flew to her mouth in a gasp, and she only just about stopped herself from throwing up at mangled corpse lying limp and messed up infront of her. Dried, clogged blood was all over the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. Its face was half missing and two eyes – half cut out of their sockets – stared unseeing at the ceiling above, the shock, fear and pain still shining. Arms were disjointed, ligaments broken in several places, skin stripped with bones and muscles showing through which was starting to decompose.
"Human," the Doctor said firmly. "Male. Cause of death…" he paused, trying to find a suitable prognosis. "…A rather angry lion. He was torn to shreds. Poor guy didn't stand a chance. C'mon."
The Doctor took Rose's hand, and led her around the corpse to the next door, but this time is was metal, high tech looking with three key slots – out of place in such an old manor. On it was taped another note, this time with the letter 'O'. The Doctor was only dimly aware of the door they had come through clicking shut and locking behind them like an automated system – or witchcraft.
In Lector Manor this is Door One,
Though if you wish to pass;
Unscathed, alive and aware,
You must first complete this task.
"This is turning into Harry Potter," the Doctor realised, pocketing the note along with the other one.
"Or more like Jumanji," she whispered.
"I was trying not to think about that."
"So when's Robin Williams gonna come in?" Rose asked, forcing a smile as she tried in vain to ignore the overwhelming stench of the corpse behind her.
The Doctor shot her a puppy-eyed expression, feigning hurt. "You'd prefer him over me?" he asked meekly.
Before Rose even got the chance to reply there was a faint, humming sound, as suddenly a drawer pushed out from the metal door, a compartment. Within there was another two pieces of paper, the letter 'M' written on the top one. There was also a small wooden box, a square of red on top. The Doctor instantly knew a voice reader when he saw one.
Gently he took out both piece of paper, almost dreading what they were about to read.
Answer me these questions three:
Oh. Well, he'd expected a lot worse.
He pocketed the paper, and opened the next.
In five years time, I will be three times as old as I was three years ago. How old am I now?
"Ooo!" the Doctor suddenly exclaimed, delighted. "Lateral thinking puzzles! Dontcha love it Rose!" It wasn't a question.
"Then what's the answer?"
He paused for a moment, thinking hard.
"Seven," he finally answered.
"Sure?" she asked, before gesturing vaguely to the corpse behind her without even looking. "I don't much wanna end up like him."
"Sure-sure," the Doctor answered, picking up the box and pressing his finger to the red patch. "Seven!" he said strongly – and the box clicked open.
Set in the middle of red velvet was a single silver key, to which the Doctor withdrew and stuck into the lowest lock, turning it around. Something clicked.
The Doctor let go of the key, turning to grin at Rose. "See? Easy peasy."
"Don't get cocky yet, still got two questions to go," she reminded him, nudging him in the side. He moaned, rolled his eyes.
"Kill the moment why don't you…" – crack – "…did you hear that?"
"Hmm?" Rose asked, reaching into the second compartment and taking out the next piece of paper. No letter this time.
"Rose…"
"In a sec…"
What is the next letter in this series?
O, T, T, F, F, S
"Rose…really…!"
"In a sec!"
Crack.
'O'…or 'S'. What was with that 'O'?
"Rose!"
"I'm busy!"
'O'? 'S'? Or maybe it was an 'F' again.
Crack.
"Rose! Look!"
Great. She'd let the Doctor do this one.
"Doctor…"
Crack.
"What the…?" she looked at the Doctor next to her, who was now staring at something behind them in mild shock, and had been for the past twenty seconds or so. She turned.
The man whom had been lying dead on the floor was no longer apparently dead. He was very much alive, all of him and his rotting corpse standing upright, arms by his sides, staring at them with dead eyes.
He began to limp towards them.
"Doctor! What's the next letter in the series?!" Rose almost screamed, frantic. The Doctor grabbed the piece of paper, scanning it over quickly.
"O, T, T, F, F, S…" the Doctor said over and over, hitting his head to propel his brain.
"THINK!" Rose yelled, glancing over her shoulder to the mangled corpse behind them. "Doctor watch out!"
The Doctor felt an ice cold, wet, sticky arm grab him around the neck, wrenching him down onto the floor. Rose screamed as the Doctor tried to force himself to his feet, but the zombie-like creature was pinning him face forward into to floor of blood.
"'S!'" the Doctor yelled, twisting over to face the creature. "It's 'S'! Initial letters of numbers in progression from one to six!"
Rose grabbed the box from inside the drawer, pressing her forefinger to the red square and yelling the answer.
"Pretty lively for a dead guy aren't you?!" the Doctor managed to wheeze, the creature now crushing his windpipe. "Gerroff!"
When the police discovered the body of Colonel Reginald Smith, they found a tape recorder and a gun by his side. On starting the tape they heard a suicide message, closely followed by the sound of a pistol being fired. Without hesitation the police handed over the case to the murder squad. Why?
With the Doctor out of asking range Rose was in peril. She couldn't do lateral puzzles to save her life.
The Doctor forced the creature off of him, using the motion to get onto his feet and back the creature into the left hand wall. There was another sickening 'crack', but the zombie didn't seem to care of its latest broken bone.
It al-but threw itself at the Doctor, who was ready for it this time. He threw himself to one side and the zombie zoomed straight on past, but the Doctor latched himself back onto it, running with it, forcing it to run head first towards the other wall.
With a squish and another crack, it had impact.
Its skull had completely split the Doctor realised, as it fell to the floor in even more of a heap than it originally had been.
He had just killed it.
Shocked, he took a nervous step back; nearly tripping over half an arm abandoned quite by accident in the middle of the floor. He could feel the blood all over his arms, face, hair, hands and clothes – everywhere. He felt so dirty.
"Doctor," Rose whispered from behind him – and he started to back away from the corpse, forcing himself to turn his head to look at her. "Last question," she said softly, giving him the slip of paper. He read it.
"Because the tape was wound back when they found it," he answered gently.
Rose took out the last key box, pressing her finger to the red square and echoing his words. It clicked open.
"I'll let you do the honours," Rose said, holding out the key box. He took the small, silver key, slotting it into the third and final lock.
Crack.
The Doctor turned back to where the corpse had fell, suddenly alert to its movements once more.
"Stubborn, aren't you?!" he yelled at it as it twitched a blooded eye, something slimy and white seeping out from its sockets and trailing down its fleshy cheek. The Doctor jerked the key as the door swung open to let them through, them both of them falling through the now open doorway as the Doctor heaved the metal door shut.
They both looked up.