Chapter 4

Betrayal

Sango's POV

"Outside…now" Inuyasha ordered pointing towards the exit, I nodded and went to do so but Bankotsu pulled me back.

"This has nothing to do with you Inuyasha, this is between Sango and me" he rumbled at my half demon friend who gave a low growl and reached for his sword.

"Inuyasha no! Don't hurt him" I pleaded, I must have moved to quickly…my word began to spin and my head grew so light, the ground was getting closer.

I was Bankotsu who caught me, calling my name so quietly as he did so, I could see him through my dizzy haze, till Inuyasha, a figure in red snatched me away "really drained her this time didn't you leech! I awoke to the smell of blood and when I realised whose, I followed, I can tell just by the smell of the air…just how much of her you have taken in. Don't you dare come near her again…ever, or I'll kill you and this time there'll be no coming back".

A corner of Bankotsu's lips perked upwards, he shook his head "No one can kill me dog breath, well, not for long anyway. My life rests in the hands of Shinigami, he will continue resurrect me till he decides that I am done living". He paused and looked down upon me, his eyes seemed to shake, "You don't need to worry about me and her anymore, she got what she needed" he turned his back to us "I will be gone by morning, you best get her home".

Why did my heart feel as though it was being crushed? Why did I feel a sudden panic when he mentioned he was leaving, I mean wasn't that what I wanted? Inuyasha carried me outside; I'm surprised he didn't insist upon a fight. He set me down by the lake outside and forced me to drink the water. When I felt more stable I allowed myself to sit up with Inuyasha's help. Wordlessly he threw me a cloth with an unspoken order to clean the blood from my neck and thighs.

Eventually he did find it in himself to speak to me, though the anger that raged in him was laced in his low voice. "We travelled together for a long time Sango, I never….never, would have suspected this of you. These past four years, I've seen what you are like as a mother and wife…its shocking to say the least, I thought you were so much better than this" the anger was almost gone and was replaced with sheer disappointment that agonised me. "How did this all start? I want you to tell me everything, I want the truth Sango".

I sighed…

My heart was racing, my shame cutting at me as Inuyasha stared at me with those judgmental eyes, I had just explained my intentions and how I came to find Bankotsu.

Inuyasha scoffed at me "I never knew you were so stupid! How could you do this Sango, you're a wife and mother…why would you bring someone so dangerous into the place we live. Kagome and I have a kid on the way too, did you think of that? Did you think of us at all?"

I hung my head in shame, "I have all the information I require, I won't be coming back and Bankotsu will be gone soon".

Inuyasha again scoffed at me, completely disgusted; there was one question I had on my mind that I had to voice "are you going to tell Miroku?"

He sighed heavily fighting with his own morality; he kept my guessing for a moment ad was slowly working me into a panic, until finally he answered "No".

I let out such a sigh of relief, it did bring on another question, "but you think I should?"

"No" he repeated, I was so confused till he continued to explain "That will kill him, it'll destroy your entire family, and your kids don't deserve that. He loves you Sango, so much…and I will let you have this one, because now you and Miroku are even".

I narrowed my eyes at him "what do you mean even?" I demanded.

"It was while you were carrying the twins, about a month before their birth" he explained, "we were exorcising a demon in a nearby village, and we were drinking to the health of his soon-to-be born child, when the monk got too carried away. There was a woman who looked almost exactly like you; he got so drunk that he actually believed she really was you, he honestly believed that you had followed him out there, to see him…all he did was declare his undying love for you, he kept pointing to her and telling the entire tavern that his beautiful wife Sango had come to see him. The woman liked Miroku, she played along….I found them the next morning when I went to collect him, they were asleep, side by side" he paused and noticed the tears that were now spilling from my eyes, the things he was telling me…they were stabbing into me!

"You didn't tell me! You've both kept this a secret for years!" I screeched, there was a familiar look of alarm, the same expression I saw in our days travelling together.

The look quickly faded and was replaced by his usual scowl, "He was a wreck when he realised what happened…I still don't think he's forgiven himself, he probably never will. He asked me the same thing you did, will I tell you? Should he be the one to do so? But I told him, what I'm about to tell you…you have to return to him, you have to love him and spend every day making up for what you have done, you must treat him as he deserves, because he is a good man…and he loves you, he loves his family. Do you understand me Sango?"

I was so bewildered…this wasn't the same thing! "How are we even Inuyasha!" I yelled "I never was physically intimate with Bankotsu, my lips has never touched his…all he did was drink my blood, how is this the same thing?"

Inuyasha growled at me confrontationally, "You're right, it's not the same thing" he retorted "For him it was one night, one fatal mistake…you've been doing this with Bankotsu for a while now. Worst of all…you have fallen for him, Miroku felt nothing for that woman".

This made me flinch, how dare he. "I have not fallen for Bankotsu!" I insisted defensively, "all I feel for him is pity, that is all and nothing more, Miroku has always been this way, he's a lecher, a flirt and for years I've been lied to" I fell to the ground again, crying and burying my face in my hands. "You should not have told me this! How can I let him touch me now knowing what I know, how can I sleep beside him at night…how can I ever look at him again?"

Inuyasha clearly regretted everything he said and could not even look at me, "Sango, has he not doted upon you since that day? Has he not been more affectionate, has even looked at another woman since?"

I was just so enraged, I wanted to tear heads, I wanted to break bones…all my guilt had fled, "that is true" I answered, "but it was all a lie" we both went quiet, I rose to my feet "leave Inuyasha, I have unfinished business here, you can tell Miroku whatever you want, I don't care anymore" I turned back towards the cave.

Inuyasha grabbed my arm, "Sango" he spoke pleadingly, "Don't be stupid, go home".

I wrenched away from him "stay out of this, it's my life and I will do what I please with it, go home to Kagome".

I walked back into the cave, I'm certain he left, if he didn't…I didn't care.

There Bankotsu sat, he seemed shocked that I had returned "forget something slayer?" he spoke dryly; I came and took my place beside him again.

"I said I would stay this night with you, I promised you that" I leaned in close, I swear he held his breath, my lips lightly brushed his, slightly pushing against them…it was hardly a kiss, but it was the closest thing I'd allow to one. I lay beside him and there we slept arm in arm throughout the cold night. When the sound of birds was heard and the sky was turning a pale dark blue, I made my way home. Bankotsu was still asleep when I left, he appeared so serene and for some reason I could not bear to say goodbye, I left him a kiss upon the forehead and vanished, determined that I would never see him again.

888

"Sango?" Miroku crooned, we were outside again upon a picnic blanket, our children played, oblivious to their mother's anguish. "Sango" he repeated more loudly till he finally got my attention, all I did was look at him. "Why is my lovely wife's face tarnished by sadness? Why do you frown so much?" he laid his hand on mine, I removed it and he noticed this.

Because I don't think I can ever trust you again...actually I don't think that we can ever trust each other. I could not voice this however instead I responded with closest thing to it. "I'm just uncertain of what our future holds, it's made me quite anxious actually".

He smiled a little, "well give me your palm, and let me tell you what I see".

Reluctantly I gave him my palm; I watched his face fall from a gentle smile, to an extremely sad frown, he released my hand and looked away, "Sango…do you love me?" he asked, I was taken aback by the question, but still…everything I had recently learned was not enough to make me fall out of love with this man, we had been through far too much for that.

"Yes" I answered almost instantly.

A smile crept back on to his face, "It makes me happy knowing you did not need to hesitate to answer that" he said, but the sadness returned to him "but your palm…it shows a cross roads that connects to your love line, basically another man will come, you will have a choice between the two of us".

I couldn't believe it, I couldn't let him see my face so I turned away blushing, "really…is that so" I murmured quietly as I retook my hand. I felt his stare upon me harder than a touch.

"I'm sorry Sango, but I feel that I must ask" he began, my stomach tightened, "If this should actually occur, will you choose me?"

My breath hitched and my cheeks burned more fiercely, with a sigh I answered "Miroku…you are the father of my children, of course I will choose you".

He was understandably unsatisfied with my answer, "So if it were not for the children, you would consider this other man" he stated outright.

What was I to say, I felt so cruel and yet I got a strange gladness because I was hurting him almost as much as he had hurt me, there was only one answer I could give "Possibly".

I felt him tense next to me, he stood up wordlessly and walked away, I outstretched my hand but in the end I let him leave. When hours passed and there was still no sign of my husband, I began to panic, where is he? Is he safe? If anything has happened to him I'll never forgive myself! I woke up the kids, Yuki and Yuka were so tired "Where is daddy?" they asked me as I dressed them up warmly.

"I'm not too sure" I answered "but he may be at Kagome and Inuyasha's home, shall we go see?"

I hurried over there to find that Miroku wasn't there and I had just disturbed the couple's sleep, Kagome insisted she keep the kids here while I went out and look for him, over her shoulder I saw Inuyasha staring at me with a disappointed expression. "Inuyasha, go with Sango" she ordered in alarm, he agreed but I interjected.

"No, I should go alone" I insisted, "thank you both so much, I'll be back in the morning for the children, I'll have Miroku with me too".

With that I headed out, where can he be? Another thought daunted upon me, did he come across Bankotsu? Did they fight? I hurried along faster through the village, I passed by a tavern where I was greeted by a cheer of drunkards. I rolled my eyes and kept going, until I heard a familiar line I hoped never to hear again "will you do me the honour of bearing my child?"

No…cautiously I turned, praying I would not witness what I was about to, unfortunately I did…there was my husband with another woman in his arms. She was giggling, "why my good monk" she squealed "I will bear you twenty children if we can get started tonight".

This was when I wanted to see him pull away, instead he chuckled and was joined by another woman, he had his arms around both of their shoulders. Tears began to fill my eyes and I came to the conclusion that I had no need to feel guilty. Years ago when we were travelling together he would flirt with other women without caring how much it hurt me, he took another to his bed while I carried his children inside me, now after a brief argument he was up to his old trick and I honestly couldn't tell how far he was planning on taking this. I didn't know whether it wise to confront him or not, I wanted to cause a scene, but for a moment my feet would not move and I was glued to the scene.

Eventually I was able to find movement and I fled from the situation like a child, but I simply could not confront it right now. By some instinct I found myself moving towards the direction of the cave, I was halfway through the forest, tears blurring my vision when I ran into something I suspected was a tree. However when I felt warmth encircling me, I realised this tree had arms, I looked up to see that it was a face I secretly longed to see at this moment. His bluer than blue eyes were staring down at me with pure concern and after a moment of gazing back up at him I buried my face in Bankotsu's chest and let myself cry while he stroked my hair.

"I lied" I whispered, clinging to him, "I lied when I said I did not want you…it scares me so much, because now I'm also beginning to need you in a way I've never needed anyone else, especially right now at this very moment, I need you more than anything or anyone".

He took me by the shoulders and searched my face, "don't say these things unless you're certain of them" he told me, "if you want me, if you need me…take me".

He had a way of arousing in me a lost flame and igniting to a full capacity and filled every inch and corner of my body. I snatched his face and crushed my lips upon his; he eased it and expertly manipulated my lips into a more romantic yet passionate rhythm. "Take me to our cave; don't let me leave till the sun comes up".

He happily obliged and there in the darkness I let my good light completely dwindle away and accept that I was truly lost in the blackness, however though I was lost I had no wish to be found. Bankotsu was a perfect hiding place, a sweet escape from the harshness of reality, a place where all the secret desires came to life and took movement. For the first time in my life I knew the touch of another man and it was better than I ever thought it could be. He whispered sweet things in my ears, "you're so beautiful Sango, so beautiful".

For long moments after we laid there saying nothing, my head was resting upon his chest, and my fingers traced the well-defined muscles of his chest, while his caressed the line of the side of my torso. His lips buried in my hair and he breathed in my scent.

"How did you get the scar" he murmured, I felt him touch the place on my back that marked my brother's betrayal while he was under Naraku's control, four years and it was the one place on my body that my husband avoided.

I snuggled in closer to him, "it was a long time ago, Kohaku was under Naraku's control, he was forced to kill my father and comrades, I escaped with this scar…I had to dug myself out of my own grave",

He held me closer as though he saw the scene playing out before him and he wanted to snatch me away from it all. "You've changed everything" he continued "you've made everything even more complicated than it was to begin with".

"Do you regret meeting me then?" I asked sleepily enjoying his musky scent.

"Only not meeting you sooner" he responded smoothly and I panged at the sincerity laced into his tone.

I sat up and covered my modesty as I hunted for my clothes, I couldn't help but imagine how different things would have been had I met him in my younger days, before I'd met Miroku and the others. I shook myself from these thoughts and was glad that I hadn't met him sooner; otherwise I would not have mothered my three beautiful children.

He watched me carefully as I dressed myself, "I thought you were leaving at first light yesterday? What happened to make you stay?" I asked with my back to him.

I heard Bankotsu move closer to me and his hands covering my shoulders, the warmth radiating from his skin made me shiver all over again. His kips were close to my ear as he gave me an answer. "I came to gaze upon you one last time, when I heard what you said to the monk…that if not for the children, you would possibly consider me. Well, I could draw only one conclusion…that you have some affection for me".

I sighed and closed my eyes "I see" I began "I appear to have given you false hope" I now faced him, he was frowning, I continued "you see…I have admitted to wanting you and needing you, but I do not love you…I still love my husband with all my heart and I know that once I step a single toe out of this cave that I will be crippled by the guilt of what I have just done with you. Miroku and I have been through so much together and I truly meant it when I said that I wanted to share my life with him. Please understand that I do not necessarily regret what I have shared with you, but I do feel guilt because though it felt right I know it was wrong".

The birds twittered outside, "suns come up…time you got going" he said coldly, I could not blame him for being angry, I had just been very cruel to him, I had practically used him. I gave him one last kiss upon the cheek and there I left him.

I didn't care if Inuyasha would be able to smell Bankotsu over me, I felt so conflicted for though I felt so ashamed for betraying Miroku and hurting Bankotsu…another, more darker part of me felt as though they had both gotten what they deserved.

"Sango! Sango!" hollered the voice of the man I had searched for almost all night, he rushed to me and to my surprise threw his arms around me. "You're safe, I went home last night and neither you nor the kids were there! When I went searched for you at Inuyasha's home they told me you left the children with them to search for me, Sango…I thought you left me! I've been looking for you all night where have you been?" he demanded.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'm sorry, but when I did find you, you seemed quite preoccupied, I didn't think you'd be able to handle three women all at once, then again I could be wrong, I only saw two…tell me how many were there exactly?" I asked him this so casually and watched the colour drain from his face.

He fell helplessly to his knees and encircled his arms about my waist, "forgive me…I'm sorry you saw that…I promise you that nothing happened, I saw what I was doing was wrong and the moment I did I came running back to you! Sango…I love you, I love our life together….please don't leave me, I won't survive".

He stared up at me, tears in his eyes…he was telling the truth, he meant every word he said, I too collapsed to my knees and held him. I did love him, he was mine…I cupped his face in my hands "I know about you and the girl at the tavern four years ago, no don't speak…it doesn't matter how I know. But I do know and it's knowledge I can never unlearn…all we can do is start anew…will you do that with me Miroku?"

He was speechless for a while, suddenly he surprised me with a passionate kiss and embrace, "I'll be the man you deserve" he promised "I will never risk losing you again".

Good I thought, losing you would destroy me. I picked us both up from the ground, "let's get our children" I said and we walked away hand in hand.

Still, I felt another's eyes upon me…it was his and something stirred in me…a warning almost, this wasn't over yet.