*Read Before Carrying On*
This may or may not be triggering for some people.
If you're going through bullying/depression, PLEASE
talk to someone. I cannot stress enough how important it
is to tell someone, anyone how you feel. Stay strong. xoxoxo
Rachel hadn't been to school all week.
She would tell her dads that she was going to school but she never did;
she would just go somewhere where no one knew her. She needed time
to heal, being out of school gave her that chance and she felt a bit better.
She was ready to face the school.
Monday again. Rachel took a deep breath as she approached
the school gates. No sign of Santana or the Cheerios. Maybe things had calmed down.
Rachel went into her first class, Glee club.
When she walked in she saw Santana, Brittany, Finn and Sam
gathering around Santana's phone, laughing.
Rachel sat at the back of the class, away from everyone.
Trying to stay invisible. Obviously, she would never be invisible.
Santana turned around and smirked, "Have you seen the video yet?"
"Wh-what video?" Rachel's words slurred. Whatever that video was,
it had to be something big enough for Santana to want Rachel to watch it.
Brittany got up and handed the phone to Rachel and pressed play.
Rachel started shaking as the video started.
"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry. Some people might know me as the little, virgin girl with the perfect voice; but others
might know me as the dirty, skank whore of McKinley who carries around STD's.
No one ever goes near me because they either think I smell or they're scared that they'll have
to get tested after being near my nasty ass"
The person imitating Rachel turned around and revealed a sign saying "sex for $1".
"Anybody taking the chance? Oh, come on, I have to pay for my regular tests! No one?"
Someone else joined the video, and "Rachel" ran up to them, "how about you? Do you want to have sex?
I'm a cheap whore"
"Uh, no thanks. You kinda smell really bad. You should get that checked out"
"What if I change it to 50 cents? How about I'll pay YOU for a good time! People think
I'm the most innocent girl around but really, I'm the dirtiest, cheapest whore you
will ever see"
Rachel threw the phone into Santana's lap and ran out, hearing someone shouting "are you
going to get yourself checked now?"
Rachel ran home, tears streaming down her face. She knocked on her front door
frantically but no one was home; so she went round to the back and tried to open the
door there and luckily it was open.
She ran upstairs, into her room and looked her door. She couldn't breathe
because she was crying so much. She had never felt this way before, she didn't know
how to deal with having the weight of the world on her shoulders. She turned
her laptop on and went to Facebook, only
to find updates about her running home to get ready for her "sex client".
Rachel stood up and started pacing her room, knocking things off of
shelves, throwing everything around. She slid down the wall, drowning
in a sea of her own tears. She took a deep breath then walked over to her laptop.
"I'm the real Rachel Berry, and I don't know why everyone
hates me so much. But, maybe I do. Cos now I hate me too.
And right now, I really don't see the reason for trying,
or for talking, or for breathing. I'm just done. So, that's it,
I guess... bye"
Rachel posted the video to Facebook then slammed her laptop shut.
She went into the bathroom and tried searching for something, anything
that could take away her pain. She couldn't find one single thing.
She sat on the floor and screamed, screamed because her head
was full of peoples' comments about her, full of her dangerous thoughts.
She slammed her head back against the wall and wiped away her tears.
Rachel looked up and saw something. She stared at it for a while, then
quickly stood up and reached for it. It was LeRoy's razor.
Rachel looked up and took a massive deep breath before
pulling apart the razor and taking the blade out.
She sat on the edge of the toilet and pressed the blade against her skin,
hard. Clenching her teeth because of the pain and once she got used
to that pain, she smeared the blood over her arm and carried on cutting.
Part 2 coming up after this.
This was kind of hard to write, so I'm sorry if it's not great.
Again, if this triggered you in any way, please talk to someone
before it's too late. xoxoxo