The first chapter post-prank war, and the mayhem doesn't stop. Instead, I think it's spread out somewhat, and the ladies actually get involved in the chaos. The aftermath of the prank war is still going to go on for a while, though.
Also, look for a hint about August 13.
If you've read the manga, you know already who Elizabeth is.
As always, Fullmetal Alchemist isn't mine, and at this point, I don't think the characters would want to be.
Reviews and comments are, of course, welcome, and all flames will be directed to the appropriate alchemist.
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"I want this done, and done quickly," Roy Mustang snarled. "I have a date this evening."
"With Elizabeth, sir?" Sergeant Fuery asked.
"Who else, Sergeant?" he said.
"Say, chief, when are we going to get to meet this chick?" Breda asked.
"Yeah," Havoc said, "you've been seeing her for months now."
Mustang glanced at Hawkeye, who stood as impassively as ever. "That's hard to say," he said. "As much as you've heard about her, I'd think it would be as if you already knew her."
"But to hear about her is one thing," Havoc said. "To see her is something else. Didn't you say you were picking her up here tonight?"
"I think that's going to have to wait until this crisis is passed," Hawkeye said cooly. "The Eastern Liberation Front isn't going to wait just because you want to meet the colonel's girlfriend...however wonderful this - " She gave the colonel a long, hard look they thought would have had him running for cover. " - Elizabeth might be."
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Enemies of the state don't care about your social calendar.
Colonel Mustang complained about missing a date because of a terrorist attack once too often.
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"The yellow-eyed demon told me to." is not an excuse.
"Major Elric is not a demon," Colonel Mustang said, "despite appearances to the contrary."
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Never underestimate an angry parent.
After the incident on August 13, most people started looking at Lt. Colonel Hughes with an entirely new respect and a certain degree of fear.
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Any references to Lt. Hawkeye's rack had better be referring to the cabinet in which she keeps her firearms.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye has fanboys?" Danny Brosch said.
Maria Ross shrugged. "Who knew?"
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You are not allowed to act out your reports using sock puppets.
In the time it took for Ed to make the puppets, he could have written the report, handed it in, and not have had to deal directly with Mustang for at least a month.
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Mashed potatoes are not meant to explode.
The five figures who emerged from the potato-covered mess hall were later identified as Edward and Alphonse Elric, Roy Mustang, and Maes and Gracia Hughes.
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You are not allowed to steal people's pants.
Though Hughes did get some amazing shots of Edward Elric running for his life with Roy Mustang, in nothing but his boxers, chasing him.
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You are not the master of the ninjas. Stop saying that you are.
Nobody knew who posted it, but it was held in place by what was later identified as a Xingese throwing star.
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The helmet belonging to the younger brother of the Fullmetal Alchemist is not to be used as a theater prop.
At the Yule party, a magnificently drunk Colonel Mustang had been performing the "Alas, poor Yorick" speech and using Alphonse's head in place of a skull.
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Sleep is not for the dead.
Master Sergeant Furey hadn't closed his eyes for two days after the green-hair incident.
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The Fullmetal Alchemist does not need a rabies shot.
"If he keeps going around biting people, he'll need one," Colonel Mustang said.
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You are not allowed to say "I told you so."
a. Especially to Lt. Hawkeye.
b. Only Lt. Hawkeye is allowed to say that.
While she didn't control the ninjas, she did control the pirates, and they were very quick to take offense on her behalf.
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You cannot arrest a superior officer for perceived character flaws.
Edward tried to get Mustang arrested on charges of being a sarcastic bastard. It didn't work.
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Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes and Colonel Roy Mustang are trained practical jokers with years of experience behind them both individually and as a team. Do not follow their example unless you really want to end up dead or court martialled.
Word had leaked out about Hughes and Mustang's time at the academy and there was talk among some of the younger officers about attempting to break their records. Lt. Hawkeye posted this as a way to stave off any potential disasters and/or premature deaths that could occur as a result.
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Do not hit on Lieutenant Hawkeye.
a. Do you want to be shot?
b. Or incinerated?
"What was it you said about not encouraging them, Lieutenant?"
"..."
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If a State Alchemist says, "Oops," start running.
The Ice Alchemist made a major mistake in his equations, and the entire fourth floor was turned into a glacier for a week, even with Flame helping to thaw it out.
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People caught in the crossfire of the prank war are not eligible for combat pay.
Neither Ed nor Furey got the money they were hoping for, but the overwhelming sympathy and support from the mostly female payroll staff more than made up for it.
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You are not allowed to tamper with machinery "just to see what happens," especially if you don't know what it does.
"I told you that would happen if you tried it, Brother," Alphonse said as they ran away from the burning truck. "But, no, you just had to see for yourself."
"Shut up, Al."
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The Flame Alchemist is not to be used to make s'mores.
Edward, Alphonse, and, surprisingly, Colonel Mustang pouted for two days after that went up.
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A two drink limit does not mean first and last.
Nobody would have ever guessed that Riza Hawkeye and Gracia Hughes could get that drunk. Or that loud.
"Is it just me, Roy, or does this seem familiar?" Maes asked as they carried the drunken women out of the bar.
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A/N: The story behind the last one will be told later. I promise.
