Chapter 7: It Would Have Mattered

It was hours after the incident, and Steve still felt like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He childishly wished he had kept his old inhaler, solely for comfort in this moment of breathlessness.

The high-pitched beep of the monitor was steady, and his muscles were tensed for the moment it picked up speed, should such a moment come.

He hated this room. He hated the white of the walls. He hated himself. But most of all, he hated the shrapnel in Tony Stark's chest.

When Steve had found his body, absent of the arc reactor core, something inside of him had kicked into gear. Some sort of deep-rooted awareness had led him to the glowing core, which had rolled out of Tony's hand when he collapsed. He had sensed the object underneath the couch, and had wasted no time in slamming it back into Tony's chest.

If he'd been one minute later, Bruce had informed him, the shrapnel would have penetrated Tony's heart and he would have died instantly.

One minute later.

One. Minute. Later.

But Steve's super soldier abilities, reacting in an urgent situation, had been able to reach Tony in time. Bruce also explained that the alarm Steve claimed to have heard in his head was the result of something the serum provided him with—the heightened consciousness of what was occurring in his environment. He tried to explain it in length to Steve but the medical terminology was lost on him. It didn't really seem like a good enough explanation to him anyway, because it had felt like something beyond science—almost like he'd been connected to Tony in that moment.

And all he could think about was what would have happened if he had been a minute later. He should have gone to the apartment first, he knew that now—but what if he hadn't gone anywhere? What if he'd just continued to sit out on that fire escape and feel sorry for himself? Tony Stark would be dead. He'd be dead, and all the careful lines Steve had rehearsed would have been delivered to a lifeless body in a casket.

Tony was laid out in Dr. Banner's lab, and he stopped by every so often to see how things were going. Since he seemed to know so much about technology, Steve knew that Dr. Banner would be the man to call after he had gotten the arc reactor lit up again.

After a thorough examination and x-ray, Bruce had informed him that Tony would be fine. The shrapnel had gotten very close, but not close enough. Steve had seen to that.

"You saved his life. You know that, right?"

Steve didn't say anything. He didn't feel like he had saved anyone. He didn't feel like he had done anything even remotely heroic. In fact, his earlier actions most likely had played a role in Tony's decision to end his life.

The one time Tony Stark decided to do a good and altogether decent thing, the recipient of his deed had screamed at him and the woman he loved had left him.

Of course he felt like he had no one. Of course he felt no desire to keep going. And worst of all, he'd done nothing to deserve it.

Tony suddenly mumbled something and Steve shot up in his chair, straining to hear.

"Where…" Tony breathed, slowly opening his eyes and blinking against the harsh fluorescence, "Where am I?"

Steve scooted up his chair to the bed and tried to explain in the gentlest way possible. "You're in Dr. Banner's lab. You… You took the core out of your arc reactor, Tony."

He watched as it all came flooding back to him, and Tony's head slowly sank into the pillows.

"Pepper left."

Who knew that two simple words could carry so much pain? And who knew, for that matter, that Tony Stark's eyes were even capable of producing tears? Steve had to look away.

"Tony… I know this is hard, but—"

"What the hell are you even doing here, Rogers?" Tony's rage at their earlier argument had come back full swing and the tears in his eyes gave way to fire. "As I recall from our last chat, you were pretty busy hating me for trying to reunite you and your 92-year-old girlfriend."

"I'm sorry." The words were out of his mouth before he could even start to mentally rehearse his speech. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I was a jerk to you and you were only trying to help me. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I should have trusted you."

There was a long silence as Tony digested Steve's words. "No. You should have left me there to die."

"God, don't start this again!" Steve bolted up from his chair so fast that he knocked it over. "Tony, if you had died, people would have come to your funeral. People would have cried. People would have mourned you. And you should know damn well that they would have showed up because they cared about you, and not because it was some sort of twisted obligation. I would have come to your funeral! And not because I felt I had to, but because I would have wanted to say goodbye to you. Because you are worth something to me. Because somewhere along the line, I started to consider you as more than just a teammate. I consider you a friend. And when I saw you there, lying on the floor about to die, I just about died too!" Steve was shouting now, and Tony's eyes were wide.

Steve righted the chair and slowly sank back into it. "Your death wouldn't have been just an inconsequential event in my life, Tony," he said, suddenly quieter, "It would have mattered."

There was a long, tense pause as Steve put his head in his hands and stared at the ground. Tony sat and gaped at him, attempting to scientifically analyze what had just happened.

"… Thanks," he finally muttered, looking away from Steve and picking a spot on the wall to focus on.

Steve looked up at him curiously. "Thanks? Really? That's all you have to say?"

Tony cast him a sidelong glance. "What? Do you think you deserved more after being such a jackass to me? Rogers, just because you saved my life and made an impassioned speech about friendship doesn't mean you get any special treatment."

Laughter bubbled out of Steve's lips before he could stop it. Tony Stark and his infamous wit were clearly back. And soon, the dopey grin on Steve's face proceeded to get Tony chuckling too, and before they knew it they were both laughing so hard that absolutely no sound was coming out of either of their mouths. This was the precise moment Bruce chose to come into the room, and he stopped short in understandable confusion at the peculiar sight.

"Is everything okay in here?" he asked in bemusement.

Steve and Tony both paused and looked at each other.

"Just two friends having a laugh," Tony explained matter-of-factly, and Steve couldn't help but smile.

Author's Note: Hello again! Sorry this one is so short, but the last moment was just so cute that I really wanted to end it there. :3

Next chapter will be much longer, I PROMISE. I've already got a jump on it.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and continued support.

Lots of Stony love,

magicinthemoonlight29