Chapter 12: Taking the Leap

There had been one moment within his life where Tony Stark had felt like he understood what the word "love" meant. Just one.

And it hadn't been what anyone would have guessed it to be, either. This memory he'd stored in a special, private place inside his mind did not contain a particularly exciting or passionate moment. In fact, it was rather normal.

He'd had a rough, tiring day down in his lab trying to repair a glitch in one of his suits. It had taken him six hours because at least fifty small wires within the main skeletal frame had gotten tangled together, and he'd been forced to go through and methodically untangle each one so as not to destroy the entire structure. By the time he made it upstairs to the couch, his hands were sore, his head was pounding, and his throat was so dry it hurt to even attempt swallowing.

Pepper had walked into the room a few seconds after he'd collapsed onto the pillows, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands, and sat down next to him. She'd placed the cup onto the coffee table, scooted closer and gently lifted him so that his head was resting on her lap, lightly placed the coffee into his hands, and pulled out a book. And for the next two hours, they sat this way, with Tony dozing off intermittently and taking small sips of the coffee while Pepper read her book and played with his hair.

No words had been exchanged. All she knew was that he'd disappeared for about eight hours. But he hadn't told her that his body ached or that he needed something to drink. She'd just known.

And it was in that moment that Tony had realized he truly did love Pepper, and that she loved him.

Or at least, that was what he'd thought at the time. Before she'd left.

But the important thing was that this was the only moment he could truly identify as him feeling love for another human being.

And this memory only came to his mind because he was trying to place a name to what he was feeling right now.

Four words had just passed Tony's lips. Four very heavy words, loaded with meaning.

And it wasn't even that he had said them, or that he had meant them. It was the look on Steve's face.

Tony had previously been standing with his back to him, so the light from his arc reactor had done nothing to illuminate the space between them. But now they were facing each other, and he could see Steve in the pale blue light.

"You need me, huh?" He was attempting to sound cocky, but his voice was shaking and Tony knew better. Inhaling a deep breath, he watched as Steve slowly approached him, bridging the gap until there were no more than a few inches between them.

"Yeah," Tony whispered, every muscle in his body freezing as he felt Steve's warm breath hit his face.

"Maybe I need you, too," Steve murmured softly, catching Tony's gaze and holding it. They took a few moments to just stare at each other, trying to reconcile themselves with the situation they were in and the feelings that accompanied it.

And then, ever so slowly, Steve bent down and softly placed his lips on the glowing arc reactor in Tony's chest. The breath flew from Tony's lungs and he stood there, paralyzed, closing his eyes at the tender gesture and willing himself not to make a sound.

Of course, in a literal sense, Tony couldn't feel the warm caress of Steve's lips on the hunk of metal in his chest. But in a figurative sense, he could feel every second of this moment. So many people, some that didn't know him and even more that did, believed that Tony Stark didn't have a heart. They believed that the only love he felt was for money and fame, and that emotions were just another thing he was all too good at manipulating. But in this instance, with Steve's lips pressing against the glowing blue orb in Tony's chest, so gently, as if it could break at any moment…. This was the first time he felt like there was truly a heart there, beating solidly just beneath the surface.

Steve raised his head back up to look at Tony and take in his expression, but he didn't have much time to analyze because suddenly Tony's lips were crashing onto his, eager to repay him for the reminder that he had a heart just like everyone else.

It was a victory of sorts, to finally feel Tony's lips on his and know that it had been Tony's decision to place them there, not his own. His mouth moved against Tony's rhythmically, and he tried to memorize the feel and taste and shape of his lips, in case this was the last moment of peace they would have before the reality of what this was and how they felt came crashing down around them.

Steve found that Tony's lips, to no great surprise, tasted slightly of alcohol, but they were soft and smooth and delicious to him all the same. He brought his hands up to cup the sides of Tony's face, hungrily deepening the kiss until he felt as if they were both going to fall backwards.

Tony, sensing the inevitable disruption of equilibrium, latched his hands onto Steve's wrists and tugged him downwards until they found the couch. Steve lowered himself onto the pillows, never losing hold of Tony's lips. Their hands left their positions then found each other again and intertwined. Steve smiled against Tony's fierce kisses, and Tony mirrored the smile, planting a few more kisses on Steve's lips before taking a moment to pull away.

The lights were still off, which Steve figured was really working in their favor at this point. He knew Tony well enough to know that if he were growing uncomfortable with the situation, he would eventually decide that what happened in the dark would stay there. Steve couldn't exactly say that he was totally at peace with the events of the last five minutes either, but he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

However, just as he feared, he heard Tony sigh and saw the pale blue light of the arc reactor disappear as he turned away. "JARVIS, lights," came a soft voice, and Steve squinted as harsh fluorescence flooded his eyes.

Tony stood with his back to Steve, motionless and staring at the wall. Guilt and fear and every negative emotion imaginable were burrowing into Steve's stomach as he waited for Tony to say something.

But no words came. Instead, he turned around and placed his hand lightly on Steve's hair before leaning down to press his lips onto his forehead. Steve's eyelids fluttered closed at the gesture, and the warmth of Tony's lips lasted for a few extra seconds even after he pulled away. And then, after one long extended look, Tony smiled slightly and left the room, leaving a breathless and speechless Steve in his wake.

He stood staring into the bathroom mirror, the cold water he'd just splashed onto his skin dripping down his face and plopping loudly onto the counter.

It was time to stop living in fear, and to start living for himself. And at this moment, this was what he wanted.

He wouldn't allow it to slip through his fingers. Not just yet.

It was unrealistic and probably a bad idea, but to hell with it.

Tony Stark would take the leap, only because he knew that there would be someone else beside him on the way down.

He wasn't afraid anymore. The kiss on his forehead hadn't felt like a goodbye. It had felt more like an "I'll see you later," sort of kiss, and Steve was okay with that. After waiting for a little while, he had decided to go back down to his room to get ready for bed, because honestly, the day's events had left him completely exhausted.

As he crawled into bed, he secretly hoped that Tony would stop by, but he knew not to get his hopes up.

He had dozed off for just a few moments when a sound startled him awake. Peering in the darkness, he spied a pale blue light hovering in his doorway.

"Hey," came a soft voice.

"Hey," Steve whispered back. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I could be better, though."

Steve could almost see Tony's suggestive grin through the darkness.

"You could be better? I see."

Tony walked close enough to the bed so that the light from his arc reactor fully illuminated his features. His eyes were glinting and a playful smile was on his face. Steve returned the smile as he gently but purposefully pulled back the covers. Tony climbed in and Steve's entire face flushed as he nestled in against his chest.

"Pepper was a shitty cuddler," Tony murmured, and Steve wondered if he was actually awake or just talking nonsense in his sleep. But whatever it was, he decided not to question it, and instead tightly wrapped his arms around Tony's chest to pull him even closer.

Things were silent and still between them for a few moments, but just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard Tony utter a deep sigh of contentment and felt a soft, warm kiss on his arm.

And after months of identity crises, bottled rage, and emotional turmoil, Steve felt like he had finally found somewhere he belonged.

Author's Note: HOLY CANOLI, I'm so excited about this chapter! I've been waiting so long for this part, to finally get them together! Are you as excited as I am? Please, please, express your feelings in the lovely review box below!

Also, please do not judge me too harshly for the mumbo-jumbo in the beginning about Tony fixing his suit. It probably made like no sense, I am well aware of this—I just settled for using creative license instead of doing tedious research on the inner-workings of his suit, so please forgive me.

Love times a million,

magicinthemoonlight29