Ugh I know it's like up and down with me, but I'm just that kind of person so you sort of need to get used to it. I decided I will finish this fic first so the thing with 'A different kind of honeymoon' wouldn't happen again and before I lose the will to even finish it. So let's wrap this up nicely first and then the Benefit story continues, don't forget to check it out, it should be updated by this weekend, I hope so. Of course leave a review with your suggestions or idk, you can also inbox me (PM box) I'll be glad to answer any questions or requests you have.

I don't own any characters or songs used, just the ideas are mine.

Song: Resistance by Muse

Is our secret safe tonight
And are we out of sight
Will our world come tumbling down?
Will they find our hiding place
Is this our last embrace
Or will the world stop caving in?

How did they get to this point? When did everything become so screwed up? She had an answer to that, but she rather not use it. It was always easier to blame someone else when your world starts crashing down.

Sometimes she wonders what her life would look like if she never met him. She would never forget the day…

A five your old Blair Waldorf walked in to the Constance kindergarten, her blond friend right by her side. All of the kids looked the same to her, she recognized them all, all but one. God knows what made her take that step that changed everything. The whole class already ran out to play. Blair didn't run, it wasn't lady like. There was only her and that mysterious boy; he was a few steps ahead of her. Being mesmerized by the boys crystal eyes and the way his hair was kind of golden and shone unlike the other ones, she took a step closer, not paying attention and fell over a tower of precisely built Lego blocks. The blocks shattered and fell all over the floor along with little Blair. It wouldn't be so sketchy if he hadn't been the only one in the room with her.

So he turned around immediately, a little startled by the sudden noise. He recognized the girl right away. He was observing her for some time now, since kindergarten has started. He rushed over to her quickly and offered her his hand to lift her of the ground. Then he noticed something else, she broke his Lego forte, if it were anyone else he wouldn't even speak to them, he tried so hard to build it up, but this was Blair. He only remembered her first name; it was already his favorite.

''Are you okay?'' he asked helping her of the ground. Blair quickly wiped the escaped tear from her eyes and sniffed a tiny bit

''I am, thank you'' she said quietly and played with the hem of her lilac dress. She finally gained some courage and looked up at him. His eyes were perfectly blue, like that pretty Tiffany bow on her favorite teddy bear

Some more blocks crashing broke their little moment. Both of them looked down at the spilled mess.

''Oh no-'' Blair said and kneeled down on her knees, starting to pick up the pieces and putting them on the table ''- I broke someone's castle, it was so nice'' she winced

Nate got down to his knees and started helping her out with the mess ''Actually, it was mine'' he said

Blair frowned a cute little frown ''I'm so sorry, I really am, I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped'' she said and bowed her head down, all of a sudden sad and embarrassed she broke his work

''It's okay, happened to me already-'' he said trying to cheer her up, when he saw she was still down ''-maybe you can help me build another one later''

Blair looked up to the boy and smiled a toothy grin ''I would love that''

Nate smiled back, and as cliché as it sounds, Blair's heart fluttered.

''I'm Nate. Well it's really Nathanial, but only mommy calls me that when she's angry so I don't like it''

''Well I like Nate more too'' she said and smiled

''I'm-''

''-Blair'' he said, proud of himself that he remembered, for a five year old it was a big deal

''How did you know?'' she asked as they stood up, he didn't answer, he just smiled

''Nate, Blair what are you two doing in here, come on its playtime outside'' their teacher called

Nate's hand took Blair's tiny one in his as he led her outside

''You wanna swing together?'' he asked walking out with her

She just nodded, even now dazzled by the boy. She was already planning their wedding day.

''What's wrong again?'' he practically yelled, he was way too frustrated and angry to have this fight now

''What's wrong is that my husband disappeared last night without a word and he was gone 'till morning. Where were you? I called a thousand times…and don't you dare tell me you were over at Chuck's'' Rosalie yelled back

''I told you I had to take a break…I just needed some time alone'' he said trying to control his voice

''Oh so that's what it's about? I knew it-'' she started pacing around the bedroom anxiously

''You knew what?''

''It's about Blair, isn't it?'' she shot out and left Nate dumb founded. He couldn't look her in the eyes right now. His head was still spinning from last night. Sure Blair had some drinks (even if she didn't it would still happen though, it was just easier to blame it on the alcohol) but he was sober. He had no excuses for cheating on his wife in a blink of an eyelash. But this wasn't just someone he was cheating with, this was Blair, which only made it that more complicated and confusing.

''This has nothing to do with Blair'' he was surprised how easily it glided of his tongue; after all he spent half of his life with the master of scheming and lying. Blair could fool anyone; he picked some of it up. Too bad she could also fool him.

''Oh really? Isn't it a little surprising that all this time you never had an urge to take a break or need some time for yourself? Or isn't it weird that as soon as you saw Blair it's like no one else existed in the room, including your own wife-'' her voice got louder as she spoke, Nate just lowered his gaze to the floor ''Or isn't it surprising that as soon as she disappeared from the party, you disappeared ten minutes after?'' she started crying, she was still mad angry though ''Tell me Nate is it not obvious that this is about her?''

He remained quiet, anything he would say now would grant him an instant divorce so he just kept his mouth shut for once in his life.

He turned around, just about to close himself in the spare bedroom until this mess cooled down, when she stopped him

''Nate-'' he turned around, not that he really wanted to, he was getting kind of sick of this whole loveless marriage thing, maybe an instant divorce wouldn't be so horrible.

''-after everything that's happened between us, you can at least be honest with me, can you?'' she asked her voice kind of shaky. No matter how displeasing all of this was, he still cared about her, he was with her for two years now. Too bad she could never really compete with the femme fatale

''Of course.'' He said and sat next to her on the lounge in their luxurious ''dream ''home

''Can you tell me honestly, that nothing happened last night with you and Blair?'' she said and waited for his answer, he had a feeling deep inside she already knew. His silence was his give away, until he actually broke it down with real words

''No-'' he stopped and closed his eyes ''-I can't. Blair and I slept together last night''

If it all weren't so tragic it would be sort of satisfying.

It could be wrong
Could be wrong
But it should've been right
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
To let our hearts ignite
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
Are we digging a hole
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
This is out of control
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
It can never last
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
Must erase it fast
It could be wrong
Could be wrong
But it could've been right

''Just a minute'' she said as she rushed to the front door in her silk robe, someone was about to knock the door down with their tumbling. She opened the door and it revealed one of her black list people

''Looking dashing as ever, how about we get rid of that robe'' she could already feel the air filling out with bourbon

''Get the fuck out Chuck'' she hissed after him, he was already deep in to her suite

''You didn't seem to mind me bashing in a few years ago, remember?'' he said with that sultry grin, she used to find that hot, not she just felt nauseated

''How did you even know I was here?'' he wasn't the only one, Nate seemed to find her easily too, she would think of a better place to stay next time…if there was next time, which she doubted

''Did you forget, I'm Chuck Bass'' he said as he fixed himself another glass of scotch and gulped it down all at once

''How could I forget'' she said already annoyed by his presence

''I want you back Blair'' he said and kissed her forcefully before she even had the chance to gather what was happening. She slapped him hard and pushed him away

''I sad get out before I call the security on you'' she yelled, it was far too late for those Chuck and Blair/Blair and Chuck shit, the only thing she gathered from that 'true love' experience was that words love and Chuck don't match, as it turned out neither do Chuck and Blair.

Finally humiliated he turned his back and went on to leave the suit, it would all be too easy if it just ended there, and it was never easy with Chuck

''What the hell is this?'' he basically shouted lifting a leather object from the side of her bed. Blair's eyes went wide when she realized he was holding Nate's belt. It wouldn't be so obvious if it weren't a Vanderbilt trademark one.

''Well that fallout makes a hell lot more sense now'' Chuck said angry and threw the belt on the floor

''Fallout? What the hell are you talking about?'' he was already out

Her phone buzzed not a moment after, indicating a call from Serena

''Hello''

''Did you hear about Nate?'' Serena asked cautiously, she knew Blair still had a very very soft spot for Nate

Blair's brain went to overdrive, panic swiped all over her. Have something happened to Nate? Did she cause it? She's supposed to be hating him, why couldn't she do it properly?

''Keep it coming'' he said finishing his now fifth, sixth-who knew-Jack Daniels

''I'll have the same'' she added and he sworn his heart stopped for a minute ''I heard, I'm sorry''

''You and the rest of the world…and no you're not'' he added shooting the cold drink down his throat

''What's that supposed to mean?'' she knew, she just needed to hear it from him

''My divorce and you being sorry about it don't match''

''Fair enough, tell me then, are you sorry for it, you don't look too tearful to me.''

He was quiet for a little while

''I don't remember ever being happy about it in the first place-'' to hell with everything, man up for once ''-not since you left. Deep inside I knew she would never get my attention; you captured me more while in Paris then she did right next to me. The most horrific thing of all is the fact that when I said 'I do' I was glad her veil was down so I could picture your smile underneath.''

He once more left her speechless. There he was, tripping over a tower of his own happiness, watching it shatter, after all this time, what else could she do than put all the pieces back to place, build his empire once again, like she did all those years ago, piece by piece.

''Tell me that you need me-'' he looked up at her, with vulnerable eyes ''-it doesn't have to be romantic, just tell me'' he repeated her exact words from that night four years ago

This was her fairytale, building up anew…

''I do need you-'' she put her hands on both sides of his cheeks ''-I love you''

It was like kissing her for the first time ''I know…because you always find a way to feel what I do, and right now I love you madly'' he said resting his forehead against hers

Zhis exact moment, all that fantasizing about their wedding day, just them and forever seemed like a dream no more, it was their surreal reality.

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