This chapter has child abuse in it. Please don't report me if it bothers you. I tried to make as soft as I can. But in my story Edward was raped as a child. Now saying that, on with the story.
~~one month later~
EPOV
A month flew by like a blink of an eye. But so much has happened. Bella's song has been playing non stop on the radio. I remember when she first heard it. We were on our way to the movies and it started. She screamed so loud it made me almost crash into a garbage bin. I pulled over and we got out. She was jumping into my arms and we started dancing to her song. I am so proud of my Bella.
But now things have changed. We are constantly fighting. And I know it's my fault. Last month I went to see the principal and she was gushing on how much better I am doing. It's not a surprise to me that I am getting A's. And we are graduating in a couple of months and she wanted to be the first to tell me that I have been accepted to the creative writing classes in France that I applied for. I might have been a slacker but writing was something I loved with all of my heart. Bella knew this. But being with her sent my creative juices at an all time high.
But it's Paris, France. How can I tell her? I didn't want to leave her but I wanted to go. And I know her, she would tell me to go and live out my dreams. But my dreams included her. And now she's in the studio almost every night so we fight about that. But I know I have to tell her. I'll tell her tonight.
"Hey Cullen."
I am brought out of my mind ranting and noticed Eric walking towards me. We slaps hands and I noticed Bella sitting under a tree. Her hair is in a messy bun. She looks exhausted. That's what you get when you work hard for your dreams. She is listening to her ipod and she is writing in her notepad.
"Cullen, you need to come tonight and play poker with us. It's been a minute."
I didn't even realize that Eric is talking.
"I don't know."
Eric chuckles.
"You have run it by Bella."
He turns to look at Bella under the tree. I turn to look at him and clenched my jaw.
"If she was my girl I would ask permission too. Later."
He walked off laughing. I had to take 3 breaths to calm myself down. I walk to Bella and she shields her eyes with her hand to block out the sun when she looks up at me. She goes back to her notepad. Bella is still pissed about our argument last night.
"What's up?' She said with ice in her voice. Yup she's still pissed.
"Whatever." I said and started to walk away.
"That's your answer for everything." She said.
I stopped and turned to face her.
"What do you want me to say? You are sitting here pissed. I come to talk to you. And you are cold."
She took the headphones off and stood up.
"What is going on? You've been acting funny all month."
She lowered her voice so only I can hear.
"Are you having bad dreams again?"
"No it's not that. It's hard for me to open up and just tell you. I need time to process things and weigh my options."
She scoffed and I looked at her.
"I am new into this whole relationship bit, but I don't think that's how it works. Hence the arguments we've been having."
She took a deep breath.
"I am so tired of having the same arguments over and over with you. I guess when you are ready to talk about it, you will talk."
She turned away from me and walks back to the tree and picks up her book bag.
"I will meet you tonight when you are done at the studio."
She turned to face me with sad eyes.
Bella shrugged her shoulder and said whatever and walked away.
Bella just doesn't get it. I've spent all my life in secrecy. Everything that happened I had to learn to keep inside me. My bitch of a mother did this to me. Instead of opening up to Bella, the woman I love, I push her away.
I walk to bench and sit down. I hear the bell but going to class is the last thing I wanted to do. It was coming on. The memory and the pain in my chest hits hard. I put my hand to my chest and try to slow my breathing but the memory is starting the work its way through my brain.
Flashback
The room is light up by candles. She forgot to pay the light bill again. I am sitting on my bed trying to read my book in the dim light. A mouse shuffles the paper on the floor. It isn't common to see mice and roaches roaming around like they also pay rent.
"Get in here boy!"
I hesitate maybe she will pass out from her alcohol and drug binging.
"Do you hear me calling you? Get in here now!"
She raises her voice and starts to couch violently. The urine filled bed creaks when I get off and walk into her room. She is laying in her bed with a flimsy white night gown and light blue robe. Josie lights up her 20th cigarette so far and starts to cough again when she blew out the smoke. I look just like her. The same bronze colored hair, the same facial features, and the same eye color. She must of have been very beautiful but you can't tell by the aging she's done due to the drugs and alcohol abuse.
I stand by the door frame and she waves me to come closer to her while she's coughing. As I reach the bed she takes a drink of her vodka and takes another drag of her cigarette.
"You are going to help me turn the lights back on. Two men are coming over tonight."
I shiver at what's going to happen tonight. My eyes start to tear up.
"Please mom. Don't let me do this anymore. I don't want to do it anymore."
She laughs and sits up on the bed which causes me to flinch.
"You are pleading like you have a choice. Two men are coming tonight; one for you while Josie shows the other a good time."
"I don't want to do this Josie. Please." Tears started to roll down my checks and I squeezed my hand together tight to stop the shaking.
She moves off the bed and grabs me by my dingy shirt and pulls me close to her face.
"You are going to get in that bathroom and you are going to jump in that bath and wash real good. And you are going to sit like a good little boy and wait for these men to come. Do you understand?' She said through clenched teeth.
I didn't answer her. I just stood there and shaking uncontrollable.
She slapped me across the face and I didn't make a sound. Josie didn't want me to make a noise when I was getting punished.
"Do you understand me?"
I nodded my head and she pushed me back and I landed on the floor on my butt.
"Now get." She said while taking a drag of her cigarette.
"And I don't want to hear a peep tonight."
I start to cry harder while I walk to the bathroom. I pick up one of the burning candle and continued into the bathroom.
Josie finished getting me ready and I sat in her room. I wish that this night will end soon. The doorbell rang and the loud sound made me jump.
"Welcome gentleman. Can I take your coats?"
"What happened to the lights Josie?"
She laughs.
"Just a little ambiance. So everything is clear. The prices I mean."
The second man spoke.
"Yeah."
I guess they handed her money. She laughs.
"Great now let's go to my bedroom."
I hear the floor board creaking and the ringing in my ears is getting louder. I swallow the scream that is building in my throat. The door open and Jose stands aside while two very well dressed men walk into the room. The smell is taken over by the smell of their expensive cologne. I start to feel very woozy.
"Now let's get started. The skinner of two that is balding giggles and lay Josie on the bed.
I jump off the bed and stand by the wall. Maybe if I push myself closer to the wall I will disappear. The skinner guy pulls down his pants and whip out his member.
"Ohh that's nice." Josie says and take it in her hand and puts it in her mouth. He drops his head back and moans in his throat. The other gentleman who is thicker and has a head full of hair. He leans in front of the bed and lifts up Josie's night gown. He drops his face between her legs and she gasps. I can feel the thicker guy's eyes on me. He lifts his head from between her shaking legs.
"Get undressed." He says to me. I knew if I don't do it she will make me pay for it when they leave.
"Hello. I said take off your clothes. And come to me because I have something for you to taste."
The skinner guys laughs.
"Yeah I am next."
When they are done with us, Josie walks them to the door and tell them we will see them tomorrow. I lay on her sex soaked bed naked and shivering. My insides feel empty. I have to make myself go numb. I didn't want to feel the sweaty bodies on me. And I didn't want to hear the grunting and the moaning from them or her. I didn't want to feel their hard hands touching me. I hear the deadbolt being latched and she walks into the room.
"What were you thinking tonight? They paid a lot of money for you and you have to be difficult."
I closed my eyes because I knew the blows were soon to come. And she didn't disappoint.
FLASHBACK ENDS
I leaned over the bench and emptied out my stomach. I knew I was sweaty and I heard somebody calling my name. I hear somebody running to me.
"Edward what's wrong?'
I can hear the worry in her voice. I knew Bella would look for me if I wasn't in class.
She is rubbing my back while I am heaving my empty stomach.
"Baby talk to me."
I sit up and I look into her wet eyes.
"Get me out of here."
I wasn't going to break down here. Not at the school. I got up from the bench and she followed me to her car. I couldn't drive at the moment. She opened the car door and I slid right in. Bella sped out of the parking lot and I was hyperventilating. She pulled over and tried to calm me down but I started to cry and she pulled me to her chest.
"What happened?'
"She forced me. She made me." I said sobbing.
"Babe it's over. I could kill her for what she did to you." Bella voice was shaking and she was crying again.
"I don't know what to do for you. I don't know how to make this better for you."
She squeezed me closer to her chest. I can hear the pounding of her heart. Bell puts her cheek on my hair and she is rubbing my arm to calm me down. And it's working.
BPOV
I've never seen Edward like this. He just looked so weak and vulnerable. I hate to see him like this and I hope I never will again. After he calmed down I asked him what happened and he told me. He never told me the full extent of what he went through as a child but all I can do was just listen and close my eyes while tears streaming down my face. I could picture that poor little defenseless boy being abused and his mother just laughing her nastiness in his face. I hate her. I hate what she did to him. How she can damage such a beautiful person.
"Please don't cry for me Bella."
I opened up my eyes and looked at him.
"I can cry a little."
He pushed the hair back that fell out of the bun while I was running to him. Oh God the look of him shaking and throwing up. He was scared when I reached him. The terror in his eyes will be with me till the day I die.
"This doesn't make me any less of a man because I cried."
I chuckle softly.
"You are too much of a man for me. Anyway, I think a real man can cry from time to time."
Edward stared into my eyes. And something clicked for him.
"Bella let's get a cup of coffee. I need to talk to you about something."
I hate when he does that. Just tell me. But he will not spill the beans no matter how much I push him. I put the car in drive and drive till I reach the local diner.
"Ok spill it Cullen."
Edward chuckles and takes sip of his coffee. I threw my napkin at him.
"Ok ok. I did something before you started helping me with my work. There are creative writing courses I wanted to take and when I went to talk to Mrs. Sanchez. She told me that I was accepted."
This is great. I gasped and clapped my hands together and went to jump on his lap.
"Baby. I am so so so so proud of you. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
I hugged him so tight and told him over and over I was so proud of him. Edward pushed me back.
"The bad news is that it's in Paris."
My jaw hit the floor.
"Paris?"
I got off his lap and dropped to my seat.
"Paris." I said again in disbelief.
"For how long?"
"A year."
"A year!" I shouted a little bit to loud. The other customers looked at me.
"Yes. It's for a year. I didn't know how to tell you but I decided not to go."
What? He isn't going. Is he crazy? This would be good for him.
"You can't do that."
He reached over and took my hand.
"I want to stay here with you."
"You can't do that. I won't be here."
He scrunched his eyebrows together the way I like it.
"What do you mean?"
"I was so pissed at you last night that I didn't get a chance to tell you. Jake told me that I am doing a single with John Mayer in a couple of weeks. And I should be done with my album before school lets out and I should be going on tour."
Edward smiled.
"That's great."
I drop my eyes and start playing with my sugar packet.
"Yeah it is. But now you are going to France."
"I am not going."
I looked into his green eyes.
"You have to go. This is good for you. If you don't take it, you will always ask yourself what if. And you said you always wanted to write a book. Here is your chance."
I can see in his face I was starting to make sense.
"Besides I am not going anywhere. I love you." I said and smiled.
Edward smiled at me.
"Now let's go spread the good news."
We rose from the table and headed back to my car with everything intact and Edward smiling.
"Rosalie Swan. I don't want or need a party for graduating."
"Yes you do. And I spoke to Tori and she is planning it with me. It will be bash that Forks has never seen before."
I groaned into the phone. She knew that things for me in Forks are different. My songs made it to number 1 on the billboard and my second single is about hit the radio. People have been acting like they are my bestfriends. Even the skank twins are acting differently towards me. And it has gotten worse now that I am working with John Mayer and my album is about to hit the stores. Angela and Edward find this very funny. But it's a price of being a rising star I guess.
"So what kind of cake would you like?" Rosalie said breaking me out of my thoughts
"Urghhh. Rosalie don't. I don't want a cake."
"Come on Bells. Don't be a party pooper. You need this. Now tell me what kind of cake you want."
"Flan." I said sarcastically.
"Flan? Come on Isabella. Be serious. What kind of cake do you want?"
"I really don't care. I don't want cake. I don't want a party. I just want to be with the people I love before I leave. And I don't want to have this conversation anymore." I whined into the phone.
"Fine." Rosalie said sounding annoyed.
"I will just pick anything. Graduation is a couple of weeks, have you Edward discussed what you guys are going to do?"
The pain hit me in the chest. It was getting closer and closer till the day Edward and I have to say goodbye. Knowing that I can jump into my car and go to his house isn't going to happen anymore. He's going to Paris. Paris. And I am touring. How our lives changes to quickly. I imagine how it would be if Mrs. Sanchez picked somebody else to help Edward. What if I never went to perform at sonars that night. My life would be totally different today. And I wouldn't love Edward Cullen as much as I do.
"Hello Bella. Are you ok?"
I shook my head.
"Y-yeah sorry. Just thinking."
"I know it's hard to talk about this." Rosalie said with worry in her voice.
"It's ok. We talked about e-mailing each other, calling each other on the phone like everyday. I told Jake about this and he said he's going to get me a phone so that I speak to just to him. He's the best. Oh and he told me to tell you that he will kill Emmett so you guys can be together."
Rosalie laughed.
"Tell him I said thanks for I'm good."
Rosalie laugh but I couldn't find the humor in her joke.
"It's going to hurt."
"What's going to hurt Bells?"
She blew out a breath when she realized what I was talking about.
"It is. I am not going to lie but you have to think it is for a short time. And you guys will see each other again. It's your dreams you are going for so you guys can have a future together."
I knew what she was saying is true but I couldn't help this sickening feeling that things are to perfect right now and it's always my luck for something to break.
"Is Renee coming to your graduation?"
"Well" I say while sighing.
"She said she's coming and get this she is bringing a guy."
"What?" Rosalie said gasping.
"Yeah she met a guy in therapy. I think his name is Bill. No I Will? No It's Phil. And they are pretty heavy she says."
"I am shocked she told you this."
"As I. She calls to see how I am doing from time to time. But she sounds good."
"Whatever." Rosalie said with a harsh tone. And a quick brush off.
"So tell me more."
I told her how they met and how he's been treating her. I am happy she found somebody who is starting to make her smile again.
~~x~~
Graduation day came to fast for me. I had to catch my breath how fast it came. My album is about to drop in 2 day. I have a go to different record stores to do some sighing. I am having a cd release party. I am very excited about that. Jake told me people who might come to the party and I almost fainted. He just laughed at me. Then I have appearances to different shows. I am so excited. Then I am off on tour for 3 months. I decided to Angela go with me on tour and Jake said it was cool for me to have familiar faces.
As I put the yellow dress I smile at how things turned out. Edward is already packed and ready to go. It hurt me to know that I won't be able to drive to his house to see his face. Or to see him pissed off and clenching his jaw making him look even more sexy.
I walk over to my desk and noticed the acceptance letter from Yale. I roll my eyes and push it off the desk. Some things doesn't change I see. Everything with Renee is moving slow. She wanted me to get dressed at the house for graduation I agreed but I told her that I just don't trust her enough to live with her. You never know when she will snap.
I can see that it has hurt her and that she finally accepted that it wasn't my fault daddy died and she wants to have a relationship with her daughters. I turn my head when I hear Renee and Rosalie arguing. I walk to my closet and pull out a plastic bag carrying a bottle of champagne. I look over my shoulder like I am trying to get away with a bank heist. I open my bedroom window and careful place the bag on the floor so I can pick up when I go outside.
I smile and close the window. I to my desk and pull out 2 champagne flutes and put my graduation gown over it. While I leave the room the arguments is getting louder and louder. It's my chance to sneak out. I notice Rosalie holding Jasmine on her hips and she is pissed off. Renee is waving her hand.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Rosalie said clenching her teeth.
"Jasmine looks like she isn't eating properly. Did I say anything wrong?"
Rosalie shifted Jasmine to her other hip.
"How my daughter being fed it none of your business."
Rosalie turns to walk away but Renee stops her.
"Rosalie please. I know I've damage this relationship but I am trying to repair it."
I see Rosalie close her eyes. And in that brief moment I see hope on her face. My breath faltered. I have never seen that side of Rosalie before.
"I will see you guys at the school?"
Rosalie lifts her head to look at me. She raises one eyebrow at me.
"Where are you going?" She says
"I ummm going to go see Edward."
"See ya."
I said and rushed out of the house but not before I heard Renee telling me to get back here. I grab the bag and jump in my car and drive to his house.
I walk up to his window and I see him fixing his tie. A wave of love flooded over me. I watch him fiddle with his clothes. And I can see that he's very uncomfortable in his suit. Esme must of done this too and Alice backing her up. He never had a chance. I chuckle and knock softly on his window. He smiles and opens the window for me.
"What are you doing here?"
He takes the bag from me and opens it.
"Champagne?"
I hold my hand out for him to help me thru the window.
"Why didn't you just come through the front door?"
"It's better like this. Open the champagne."
He opened it with easy and muffled the pop of the cork. He poured the fizzy alcohol into our flutes. I lick my finger the liquid that fell on and I saw his eyes going a shade darker green. I lift my glass to toast him.
"We are graduating today and you worked very hard to get to the finish line and I am so proud of you. You made it without me killing you. And I wanted to be the first to congratulate you. I wanted to celebrate with you because I knew you could do it."
We took a drink and the liquid felt so good going down my throat.
"I couldn't do it without you."
Edward pulls me closer to him and crashes his lips against mine. He pushes his tongue on my lips for me to part them. The taste of his tongue and the champagne made my head start to spin. When we pulled apart we both were breathing very hard. He puts his forehead against mine.
"I love you."
I pushed my head back to look at him.
"Are you still going to feel that way when you are around all those beautiful French women who wants amour."
"Hmmmmm." Edward said while looking up at the ceiling to think of an answer for my question.
I pulled out of his arms. He laughs and pulls me back.
"Never." He dropped his eyes to the ground and takes a deep breath.
Something flashed across his face but he quickly looks at me and puts a forced smile. I narrow my eyes and he kisses me to make my mind go foggy again.
"I love you very much and no French woman is going to change that."
"That's better." I said and wrap my arms around his neck for another kiss.
The graduation is being held in the school's auditorium. As I stepped through the doors I felt a wave a sadness when it hits me that this is the last time I will be in this room.
"You ready graduate?" Rosalie says as the put her arm around my shoulder.
I smile holding back the tears.
"Yeah." I whispered and cough.
As I walk through the crowd of people taking their seats and kids waving to their families with big happy smiles on their faces. Families walking up to my fellow classmates and taking pictures of them and their friends to remember this moment in their lives they are proud of them.
I spot Esme and Carlisle smiling and pointing me out. I see Emmett turn and smiles when he locks eyes with Rosalie. I look around to find Edward and I see him sitting looking bored out of his mind. I shake my head and smile and his blasé attitude.
"Look at you." Esme says and pulls me into her arms.
"You nervous?" She says as she pushes me back to look at my face.
"A little." I said and blush.
Jasmine reaches for Emmett and he grab her and makes her laugh by nuzzling her neck.
"You will do fine." Carlisle says and pats my arms.
"I would like to introduce My mother Renee and her friend Phil."
I can see something flash on their faces while they are shaking their hands. Is it when they saw me all bruised and bloody from my mother's last violent rants?
But they didn't show no attitude to my mother or her friend. That's why I love the Cullens. They still cordial through it all.
"Come sit with us." Esme said with a warm smile on her face. She flashes her beautiful brown eyes and winks at me and sits down. I hug her again and I see that pained look on Renee's face but she sit next to Esme and they start to talk. I told them I am going to get to my sit and they are about to start. As I walk to my seat I spot Mrs. Yorkie and I give her a hug while she tells me she's so proud of us.
She takes a picture of me and I swear her damn flash would have blinded me. I stumble on my way to me seat.
"Let's take our seat." Mrs. Sanchez says over the loud speaker.
Everybody hustles to take their seats.
"I am honored to be presenting these fine young men and women today to move on to their futures in lives. I am honored to have watched them walk into these halls scared and confused freshman year and turn into ready and excited seniors to start the new chapters in their lives. You guys will be really missed when you move on. Now please a word from your class valedictorian."
Everybody claps as Debra Warwick walks on the stand. She adjusts her mic and starts speaking about the changes we have been through in the four years.
As she is speaking I start to picture my father taking me pictures of me as I sit waiting for my turn to walk up to get my diploma. The smile he has to show me that he's proud of me. I picture my running up to him and hugging him hard after I receive my diploma. He has tears in his eyes when he holds my cheek and kisses my forehead.
"And tomorrow will be a new adventure for us."
She interrupts my thought and I feel something cool running down my cheek. I place my hand on my cheek and realize that I have been crying. I turn to look at Edward and he is still slouched still looking bored. I turn behind me to look at Angela who is sitting next to her brother Eric. She is also crying. Angela turns to look at me and she just shrugs and laughs. I smile and she wipes her tears away.
My eyes slide to her brother and he winks at me. Oh kay. And I turn.
"My fellow classmates please rise." Debra says.
We stand.
"Now please join me as we congratulate each other for the support and hard work we went through together."
The kids were slapping high fives to each other. Girls were hugging and crying. We were yelling and jumping up as Debra thanks us and left the stage.
Mrs. Sanchez came back to tell us that they are going to hand out the diplomas.
The first three rows which Edward was part of got up and made a line to the stage. The kids walked up to Mrs. Sanchez who is holding their diplomas. She says something and they shake her hand and says thank you. They walk off and make a funny face or gestures while there are cheers in the crowd and flashes going off.
"Elizabeth Codd."
A short blond headed girl walked up and took her diploma. As she walked away she had a big smile on her face and held her diploma up like a sword and pose for the flashing cameras.
"Edward Anthony Cullen."
A loud roar came from behind me that made me laugh. I pulled my camera and took a picture of Edward shaking hands with Mrs. Sanchez and having a big smile on his face and he shook his head. I just kept snapping picture after picture.
Finally my row gets up and its our turn to get our diplomas. I turn to look at Angela and I put my fingers to my mouth pretending I am biting my finger nails. She smiles and waves me off. When I turn it's almost my turn. Then I hit the stairs.
"Isabella Marie Swan."
I hear the same eruption Edward got. I walk up to Mrs. Sanchez and take the diploma.
"Congratulation Miss Swan."
I low my eyes and bow my head to her and thank her. Still holding hand I turn to Renee and Rosalie and smile. I let go of Mrs. Sanchez hand and walk to the other side of the stage and I threw up my hand as a rocker and stuck out my tongue. Rosalie was taking pictures and laughing. I got off the stage and hug her.
Renee and Rosalie walk me back and I take my seat. I take pictures of Angela and I hug her when she walks by me.
"I like to introduce you to the graduates of Forks High School."
We cheer and throw our hats in the air.
"Toast to the graduate." Rosalie says as she lifts up her glass.
We take a sip and the apple cidar (Renee's idea) rolls down my throat. I check my watch and realized that the Cullens are late.
I walk away from Renee, Phil. Rosalie, Angela,Eric The Yorkies (lol) Tori and James. I dial Edward's number and I get his voice mail.
There is a knock on the door and I smile and run to the door. When I open the door I am disappointed to find it is Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I turn around and walk back into the livingroom.
"Well it's nice to see you too Bells." Jasper says as he walks into the living room behind me.
Jasmine sees her father and runs to him saying daddy daddy. He picks her kiss her face.
They great everybody and is handed a glass.
"Emmett where is your brother? He's late."
I notice Emmett and Alice look at each other and she reaches in her bag and pulls out an envelope with my name on it. She hands it off with a sad look in her eye.
I give her a puzzled look and open the envelope. I pulled the letter out and start to read it.
My eyes start to tear and put a hand to my open mouth and look and Alice and Emmett. They both give me hurt look. And I knew it was true.
I drop the letter to the floor and I drop to my knees.