A/N; Christmas is defiantly my favourite holiday, decking out the house in lights, presents, the food, spending time with family. There's some kind of unity that comes with Christmas that stands out as different to other holidays –maybe it's just New Zealand I don't know- The whole world comes together for one day. It's the only time all the shops play festive music; we don't play specific Easter songs. We all get together and give to our loved ones and people we appreciate, are there any other holidays in which we give our post man a bottle of wine and our banker a box of choc? And the Christmas movies love em or hate em there always on to remind us of the real meaning of Christmas and I love it. I'm not a Christian I just love the holiday and I hope all of you readers had an amazing Christmas
My late gift to you yes YOU another chapter
I don't own Austin and Ally
Chapter 13 – Ally's Nightmare
-{Ally}-
I blink at the cross roads before me icy wind whipping my face. One is the easy way out. My feet mechanically step to a familiar monotonous beat, not effort involved forcing my small body to the easy way out. My mind is blank. My sole less body escalates instinctively towards the empty path. Step. Step. Step. The only sound I can hear is my footsteps; all that is left is a welcomed heavenly silence. The easy way out is empty, just a smooth dusty path to the light, light that hypnotises me. It's alluring drawing me closer and closer. Dust puffs and diffuses into the clean air with each step on the smooth concrete path.
A metallic rusty scent brings me back to life. Panic rises inside of me. I break the rhythm of my feet forcing them with every ounce of energy in every fibre of my being to stop walking to the light. Heavenly music, similar to Austin's voice builds from the light at the end of the path tempting me to continue down this easy path, alone. The metallic blood overpowers my senses, making me retch with horror. My eyes gaze the empty path. It's not empty; the light at the end has given me an illusion of happiness, that everything is ok and blocked my vision not allowing me to see 180 degrees just what's directly ahead of me. A baby and a handsome blonde boy lay dead on the side of the path there innocent body's torn from limb to limb my heart breaks as I fall to my knees hot salty tears flood from my eyes.
I try to tear my eyes from the gory mess, but my eyes betray my wishes. More of my loved ones lay dead in pools of shiny red blood, gashes on their cold lifeless bodies. Who could have done this? Did I? Is this what the easy way out will cost me? I become alert picking up my body to my feet I run away from the light.
It's like I'm running in the opposite direction on a treadmill. I step forward two steps back. But I keep running the dust flying behind me. Icy wind punishes me making the dust sink into my lungs I cough so much I feel like I might die from the suffocating air. I push forward to the cross roads. My eyes are blinded buy a thick layer of dust. With no vision I know where to go I pull my body in the opposite direction of where my feet naturally want to go. Nature punishes me for going against it. I trip on a rock that appeared from nowhere. The wind grows angry spiralling around me like a personal tornado. I try to pull myself up, but I stagger to my feet like when you're a kid running up the slide but you slip and fall back down the slide. I can see again although it's hazed like looking in foggy glasses.
I get to my feet gagging as a rotting smell invades my small nose. I want to vomit my stomach swishes and slurs. But I can't stop running. Each breath I take hurts and it takes all my energy, my lungs are heavy. My face is hot and burning sweat leaks from my forehead. I keep running ignoring my dehydration and my dry swollen tongue. Brown dust with bright green leaves spiral in front of me. How long until I get there? I'm sure it didn't take this long before. Thoughts taunt me but I keep going. Wind kicks me from behind and I barrel roll off the path.
The ground feels rough on my butt and thighs; gravel has grazed my legs and knees beads of blood glisten from my legs. I breathe in the sweet smell of dirt and pine no blood or rot and decomposition. I wipe my eyes I can see clearly now. I pull myself to my feet dusting my hands on my denim shorts. Vomit gushes from my mouth without warning the acidic taste repulses me. I scrunch up my face in disgust. I shake in my skin feeling frail the cold wind kicks me while I'm down shooting shivers up and down my spine.
"Ally" the voice of an angel entices me. "Ally, its ok" the voice comes from the entry to the easy way out.
I turn and see a tall beautiful dark haired woman with stunning blue eyes that shine brighter than the sun. Her beauty radiates from her like gravity. I walk towards her my hand reaching, craving her touch.
"Mom?" I asked dropping my hand my eyebrows curved up my mouth forming an O.
"Yes, baby Al. It's me. Come have a drink, take the easy way out." She smiled at her white teeth love radiated her smile summoning.
"Ok" I'm mesmerised walking to my mother, it's been so long since I felt her touch. My feet take me on the conveyor belt of the easy way out.
The wind must be on my side now. It knocks over my mother. It wasn't my mother it was an illusion, a cardboard cut out that falls to the ground with the wind. The thud of the cardboard cut out jolts me to reality, I'm no longer mesmerised by the easy way out. Dust flies into the atmosphere around the cut out. I glance at the foot only my big toe rests on the path to the easy way out. I force my toes from the path thanking god that's all that made it to that side. I run to the other path, music comes from the easy way out but I block my ears sticking my fingers in them refusing to fall into the traps of the easy way out.
I walk into the path of the hard way out. Fear flows from my arteries through to my veins. I hear Melody's cry at the other end of the path, faint, miles away.
"ALLLLY" I hear Austin's faint scream, he must be with Melody "WE NEED YOU!" He yells.
"I'M COMMING!" I scream at the top of my lungs with my dry mouth craving water my lungs ache.
When I was younger before my mother passed as a family my mother, father and I used to go to carnivals. I loved it, the sickly sweet cotton candy, and the sweet smell of toffee apples, the rickety amusement rides and games with colourful stuffed toys hanging around the stalls. It was a celebration with nothing to celebrate. My mother loved the house of mirrors. The mirrors warped reality, making you too short or too small. It terrified me. The mirrors juxtaposed so that they looked like infinite portals. It looked like it went on forever. My mom always tried to calm me down telling me to look past the illusion there is always a logical way out. But I hated feeling trapped.
The hard way out reminds me of the house of mirrors a labyrinth of shrubbery. A never ending maze of green leaves trapping me a road block between me and the two people I love more than anything. Melody's cries and Austin's screams haunt me, so distant, so quiet yet deafening. I stand still the wind whipping my pale face. I breathe deeply closing my eyes clearing my mind trying to be logical. Look past the illusion. My mind takes control of my feet and step in my chosen rhythm I have control.
I run diving around the curves and corners of the maze. A smile creeps on my face. I'm making it. I'm making it. I keep my steady motion. My mind stays clear so I can calculate my movements, to look past the illusion. There is always a logical way out. Sweat drips from my dehydrated frail body. Each breath feels heavy, creating pain in my chest. My heart races a thousand miles an hour.
I stop dead in my tracks. A dead end.
I fall to the ground thumping my fists on the hard floor. Melody's cries screech in my ears, and Austin's cries for help tears my heart to pieces. Blood fills my mouth, I bit my tongue to stop feeling the pain in my heart, and the metallic scent fills my nose. I cough up puddles of blood. I breathe hysterically gulping bubbles of air. My eyes become a waterfall. I don't know where my body found this water.
"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I scream at the top of my lungs to the sky, tears streaming down my puffy red desperate face.
"I can't" I whisper shaking my head looking to the dirt ground.
I collapse. My heart rate slows my breathing steady. Knocked out.
/
My eyes flutter open a bright light blinds me. I look up at a doctor in a surgical mask, his gloves are covered in blood a scalpel in his hand drips glistening gems of red blood. My stomach feels empty air tornadoing inside.
"What's going on?" I whispered in fear.
"You're babies dead" The doctor said in a monotone.
My heart raced, my head thumped, I wanted to be sick. I'm lying on an operating table I try to move my hands but their pale and cold and refuse to move. My stomach is wide open my bloody insides on display.
My vision goes blurry and I begin to fade.
"Ally?" The doctor asked with terrifying piercing eyes. "Ally?"
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
"Ally?" Austin shakes me vigorously.
My eyes open and I'm welcomed back into the real world by Austin's caring face, his big hazel eyes are fill of concern. My face is dripping and my body feels sticky and sweaty and my heart is racing.
"Al's? Are you ok? You were tossing and crying in your sleep. Bad dream?" Austin asked cradling me in his arms making me feel safe.
"I can't take the easy way out" I whispered "Death is the easy way out" Austin's raised eyebrow makes his confusion known.
"I have to look past the illusion." I whispered looking into Austin's beautiful eyes.
"Als? What are you talking about?" Austin rubbed my back as I sat up and he kissed my temple, each of his movements show his deep concern.
"Your mom's right." I left the room leaving Austin alone shirtless in the bed confused.
/
Mimi's in the kitchen cooking bacon for breakfast her attention is on the frying pan but her mind is in another world.
"Mimi?" I whispered in my sweaty pyjamas. I feel stinky, sticky and gross.
"Ally." Mimi sounded startled; did I wake her from her own world?
"Are you ok honey? You look like you have had a tough night." Mimi looked me in the eye with concern, then only look anyone seems to give me these days.
"I have postpartum depression" It took everything in me to force out those four words with tears flowing from my eyes.
"Honnney" Mimi rushed to my side turning off the stove and hugging me tight kissing my sticky forehead "Admitting it is the first step" she rocked me like a baby in her arms.
I pulled out of her embrace. "I need to look past the illusion... I need to get. Help" I gulped I hated that I'm going to have to go through the shame of therapy, but the hard way out of this depression is the hard way out. Giving into it and ending my life, is worse.
Mimi shushed me pulling me into her arms stoking my hair. "That you can get. We can get you help" She whispered.
A/N; So I have been reading lots of post apocalyptic books because I love them (If you're interested Wither by Lauren Destefano and the Matched series by Ally Condie are amazing!) And I had the urge to write in a fantasy world hence Ally's nightmare came to mind. This is a very different chapter but it give you a different insight to Ally's depression.
Tell me what you think!
Much love, Dominique xo!