A/N; Just a warning may not be updating for a while but I will try my hardest to put up a new chapter next week but I'm going away again on holiday, no internet I only have so much data on my phone ;)

Thanks to every single one of you that reads my story. Big thank-yous to MercyandLove, PhoebeHalliwell23, AwkkwardTree, queenc1 and Emmalt. You guys seem to review every chapter and I really appreciate it, it makes we feel good and motivates me to post a new chapter.

Nope still don't own Austin and Ally

Chapter 14 – Pressed Against The Glass

-{Austin}-

Ally leaves the room coated in sweat, frazzled and agitated. I have to look past the illusion? What does she mean? Ally has been so strange since we brought Melody home two and half months ago. I fall to my back and rub my temples closing my eyes tight. Melody sleeps soundly in her basinet that towers over her making her look smaller than she already is. We have been blessed with a heavy sleeper; Melody only wakes up twice in the night and sleeps to 7 every morning. Melody's usually our wakeup call, but something else deep in Ally's subconscious was our wakeup call this morning. I yawn and roll over to glance at my alarm clock, 6:17am; Melody will be asleep for a while still.

What is it that is disturbing Ally so much? Why won't she let me in? I feel like I'm the outside. I'm like a child at the zoo watching the animals from behind glass. I can see observe everything that Ally's doing, I know what she's doing but I can't know for sure because she can't hear me and I can't understand what she's saying. I reach out for her but my hand punches the unscratchable glass. All I can do is press my face to the glass and hope that she comes to me, breaks down the glass and lets me in.

I miss our music. Before Melody was born we would sing to her in the womb and stroke her stomach gently giving Melody our undivided love and attention. I would sing softly to Ally when she couldn't sleep my fingers running through her long glossy chocolatly hair with its strawberry scent that made my stomach flutter. She would rest her head on my bare chest her eyes closed breathing steadily listening to my heartbeat. I would wait for her body to relax heavily into mine and her nose to let out a steady quiet snore, I would kiss her gently on the temple pulling her close to me then rolling her over to her side. These days, I know Ally can't sleep well but when I offer my arms to her she rolls over leaving my arms empty. My heart aches at each rejection but my arms are reserved for the one girl I love enough to break my heart. We both lay awake our eyes sprung open watching the world go by without us waiting for Melody to wake for her next feeding.

Ally cries at night. I don't know why. I can't even hear her sobs. I can't see her face in the darkness. I can feel the tears that roll silently down her cheeks. I try to comfort her, I try to stoke her hair to kiss her temples but she shrugs me off grabbing my hand squeezing it and letting go hastily. I always roll over in defeat, I keep reaching out to her but there's always something in the way.

We don't see much of each other in the day. Ally has become somewhat of a night owl sleeping when Melody sleeps in morning and afternoon. I don't think she really sleeps, just using excuses to stay away from the rest of the world. I work more now that Melody's arrived even though my boss gave me a raise and promotion; we greatly underestimated the cost of a baby and saving for an apartment. I've picked up a job at Sonic Boom as well, I haven't told Ally. Lester keeps offering me money but pride gets in the way, if I can't provide for my family what can I do?

In my spare time I play with Melody giving her all my love. I always ask Ally to join, but she always misty eyed declines. I don't know why. I'm her boyfriend and Melody is her daughter. I wonder if she ever spends time with Melody just for fun but I push those thoughts from my head, of course she does, she loves her. But I have a terrifying niggling feeling that her feelings towards Melody aren't what she says they are. How can I possibly think like this? Sick thoughts I banish from my mind.

Trish and Dez haven't seen Ally since the shower upon our arrival. I see them all the time at work; they come to our house too to visit Melody. I tell Ally they are here but she never replies pretending to be asleep, each time this happens I sigh and close the door. "She's asleep" I lie to Dez and Trish as they coo over my daughter "She's still recovering" I will explain. It's the same play on every visit. I hate lying to my best friends especially with the amount of concern that drips from their eyes, they are just as worried about Ally as I am, they are just lucky enough not to see the worst of it. They are just as cut off as I am; they just aren't as close to the glass.

I sigh and pull myself up from the bed. I sit at the end of the bed peering over the basinet. Melody rhythmically suckles on her pink pacifier, swaddled tightly in Nana Harpers pink blanket, her chest rising and falling. Her eyes are closed tightly. She's so peaceful her eyes closed tightly taking her to her own little world. She doesn't notice the distance. She doesn't see the pain in her mother's eyes; she doesn't even know the sparkle that they once had. It's been so long since Ally has sung to her, not since the womb, she's forgotten Ally's harmonic voice. It doesn't worry her, she doesn't know any better, and her life is perfect. I'm jealous of her innocence. She's fresh and new; nothing has ever hurt her or broken her heart, not a care in the world. I bent over and gently kissed her forehead careful not to wake her, breathing in her sweet baby scent, a mix of baby powder and youth.

Ally slowly creaks open the door with the palm of her hand worried she might wake the baby. Ally is small, wrapped in her pyjamas her eyes glued to the floor refusing to meet my eyes. Her hair is a mess, a bird's nest piled on her crown. She's beautiful despite how tired and drained she looked her arms too skinny and legs are limp.

"Ally" I whispered forcing her eyes to join mine "Can I talk to you?" I pointed to the hallway, she nodded in agreement.

I pick up the baby monitor, and followed Ally to the hall the door shutting slowly behind me not wanting to wake the baby.

"AUSTY!" Jessie ran at me, her own stampede, wrapping her arms tightly around my legs. "Is my Melody up yet" She tilted her head her hazel eyes sparkling displaying her innocence in a princess dress.

"No, Jessie. I will tell you when she wakes up, kay?" I tell her lifting her into my arms squeezing her. "I have to talk to Ally"

"Can I talk" Her eyes light up looking at Ally who was shuffling her feet in silence, she's been distant with Jessie too.

"No sorry glitter pants" I shot a look at Ally and she motioned towards the bathroom. I shuffled Jessie's curly blonde hair and she walked away in a huff.

I walk into the cold white bathroom and plonked myself on the toilet lid and placed the baby monitor on the basin. Ally closed the door behind her and leaned on the door her hands behind her back eyes glued to her bare feet with pink nails. I don't know why but I feel like this conversation is going to be a lot more serious than I originally thought. If anyone didn't know us they wouldn't think we are both 17, the baby has forced us to grow up and become mature well before our years with problems that the average 35 year old has to deal with.

"Al's are you ok?" I pipe up trying to catch her eye from across the white room. Ally doesn't look up see just sighs heavily, her words just tremble on her lips and refuse to be said.

"I-I-I feel like I'm on the outside" I stutter, finding it hard to voice my feelings. I've have never been one to share my feelings in my head, they usually get buried under a pile of worthless facts.

Ally looks up puzzled but silent breaking the stare between her eyes and toes.

"I feel so distant, you're hiding things, and you're in pain. Don't tell me you're not!" The words pour out of my lips, building fire in my body; I don't know why anger is building. "I KNOW YOU" I quickly get up from the toilet jumping to my feet my eyebrows narrowed. Ally just looks at me silent hands behind her back still.

"HOW CAN I HELP YOU?" I wave my arms around spinning on the white tiled floor in my black socks and bare chest. "IF DON'T LET ME?!" I tower over Ally my hands on the door looking down into her brown eyes, I'm blinded by rage.

Ally's eyes glisten with fear. Her fingers trace her treble clef necklace. My heart breaks, I'm the reason for this fear. She should NEVER fear me; I would never lay a hand on her. I drop my hands from the door to my sides, I step back from her softening my face my heart beat steadying.

"I'm sorry Al's. I didn't want to get angry or look intimidating. I just love you, and it kills me that you're in so much pain and I can't do anything. And I don't know why. Why are you so hurt?" I asked a lump in my throat, the flood gates have opened and all my emotions are flowing freely.

Ally is still at the door a tear rolls down her pale cheek. "I'm sorry" She trembles.

-{Ally}-

I never thought how much my depression has affected Austin. I have been so warped in my own messed up mind that I have neglected that boy I love so much. I can't let my depression drive Austin out of my life, losing him would be the thing that tips me over the edge, the thing that pulls the trigger of the gun at my head. There's pain in his voice, his eyes are soft and caring, but I feel like I have stabbed him.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply a tear rolls down my cheek. "I'm sorry" I tremble. I want to tell him I'm sorry for neglecting him. I'm sorry for keeping my feelings to myself. I'm sorry for not being myself. I'm sorry for not realising sooner. But my throat is closed up and the words are stuck. I want to pull him close and hug him, but my arms won't move from my back.

"For what?" Austin's look of confusion returns one eyebrow higher than the other.

"Everything." I whisper "It's all my fault." I close my eyes and bang my head on the door "I'm sorry"

"Ally" Austin strokes his strong hand on my thin arm sending tingles up my body, I have missed his touch. I let him touch me, I haven't in so long and I don't know why. "It's ok, just tell me what's going on in your head." Austin looks into my eyes with his beautiful hazel eyes, eyes that once made me weak at the knees, but now nothing, and it kills me. I want my feelings back.

"I have messed everything up with my stupid subconscious" I told him angry at myself, trying to break free from the tight grasp depression has on my heart.

Austin is still so confused, he doesn't understand. I can't find the right words; depression grabs hold of my tongue. I reach out to him; I manage to place my hand on his face. I look into his eyes trying to explain telepathically, because I have become mute. I drop my hand and scrunch my face tightly closing my eyes battling the depression for control of my words.

"Austin" I win "I have. I have." I breathe "I have postpartum depression." I fall into his arm using all the words that depression allowed me to have choking me with the last word silencing me. Tears drip down my face and form puddles on his bare chest and listen to his reassuring heart beat. Austin holds me tight like if he lets go I will break. I let him. I miss his embrace; I can't remember the last time he held me like this.

"Ally. I had no idea" Austin whispers into my dark hair "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you" guilt drips from his voice.

"You have nothing to be sorry about" I say with dry eyes, and no more sobs Austin's arms has knocked the sadness out of me. "It's me, I never told you. You're mom figured it out. She's going to help me find help" I explained looking into his eyes with a false smile on my face.

"I will help anyway I can" Austin said.

"Thank you. Just hold me" I told him, and he held me. We stand in silence listening to each other's heartbeats. A loud cry from the baby monitor tears us apart as we rush to our daughter's side.

A/N; Here we go, do you like? Get a bit of Austin's feelings towards Ally's depression. Thanks for reading.

Review

HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is the last chapter of 2012 all the best for 2013

xo