Fullmetal Alchemist – Useless

Wow, I updated this one quick, my fingers were itching, I will do my Naruto one's I just need to find motivation .

Sorry, this one ISN'T BETA-ED LIKE THE LAST ONE.

Hahahaha, I got so stressed over that, you can say I still am!

Disclaimer: Don't own~

Warnings: Same as before~

Chapter two

Explanation

"Is telling the truth better than lying if it's for the good of the one being lied too?"

"NO! I refuse! Alphonse, stop! I'm not going to hospital and that's that!" I screamed at the scrappy metal in front of me who was trying to push me out the door. "Can't we talk!? Please... Al, I need to explain it properly to you!" That stopped him, the sound of a sigh radiated from his metal shell. Clunking into the living room, we both sat down into squishy chairs, starring at each other. Looking down, I began to tell him about the disease.

After five minutes, Alphonse lifted his head and if armour could cry, I bet he would be. Sighing at my own misfortune, I watched as Al walked down the hall to his bedroom where the door slammed close. Sorry Al…. I knew this was going to hurt you. Tears glistening in my eyes, I suddenly got very angry at myself, for being that useless older brother. Racing into the kitchen I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find. Picking my finger, I watched as if I was fascinated by the dark red colour that oozed from the small wound.

But I told you, didn't I!? Isn't that what you wanted!? Barely audible screams tore my throat as I threw a tantrum. Throwing pans and knifes at the walls and out the kitchen window, shattered glass landing all over the floor. Holding onto the sharp knife with snow coloured knuckles I stabbed the wall and dragged it across as I walked. I'm insane…. My head hurts, I can't breathe... Ha … haha…. Hahahhahaha….. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. YEP. I'm insane and there's nothing you can do about it!

Letting full throttle scream rip from my throat, I lashed out at the wall, causing deep holes to form within the thin white plaster. Dropping the knife, my chest became tight once again. The body shaking uncontrollable it was obvious what was going to happen. Tears slipping from my dull eyes. Not again….. I…. Don't wanna… go to hos...pit…a...l. Thud.

"I hate hospitals only because of those horror movies. White clean hallways just waiting to gobble you up."

"Edward~ you're awake! I'm so happy! Want to play, Nii-san?" Blinking a couple of hundred times, I looked up to the face in front of me. A small cheerful face with lush sandy blonde hair and slightly blonde/brownish eyes, all showing the ages of a twelve year old. . Gasping, I quickly picked myself up only to land on even legs. Looking down I studied my feet, flesh, bone, cell tissue, it was all there in both feet! Checking my arms too, I was greeted by the same surprised. Calming down greatly from the spaz attack, a wide grin couldn't help itself but to crawl across my face.

"Do you like it, Nii-san?" The boy smiled at me and gave me a quick but sturdy hug. Laughing with the boy, tears caressed my cheeks, not in sadness and hurt like before with pure joy. My laughing stopped at once when a thought crossed my mind.

"Where am I? And are you truly Alphonse?" I huffed, tired from laughing my lungs out. He smiled and gently took my hand. "I am only a part of your imagination but I assure you I am real in your mind. Every time you fall asleep you may come here, I protect you from everything in the outside world. You may say I'm your mind buddy or the voice inside your head. Not really answering the question but I got the gist of it. Turning back to 'Alphonse', I asked a few more questions.

"You come here every time you feel threatened. No matter the time of day or night, when you don't good and you want a place to relax come here~ it's your new found happy place where you have no worries! You can go back anytime, not that I see the point as that world is crumbling." Now that I thought about it, I did feel better. As if I was lighter, that all the weight from my shoulders had been lifted but in true fact it was. In the space, I found it easy to relax.

"Hey, Edward." I looked down to see Al touching my knee as if he was praying. I tilted my head to the side, as if I was a dog but the something was shaking me. Something I knew has human hands. Looking at the boy, tears pooled his eyes. "I'll be back, wait for me okay!?" I shouted as everything turned rapidly dark.

"You should stay with me, Nii-san. Forever."

"Once you take a step to far, taking a step backwards isn't an option."

Waking up with a start, as hands shaked my shoulders rapidly. Wincing at the pain in my back, most likely from the way I feel un-couscous, I slowly punched myself so I was sitting on my butt. Slowly opening my eyes, to blinding light, I came face to face with such a lovely face.

"Colonel…" My voice sounded like sandpaper and hurt like all hell. Rubbing my throat, I looked up to Roy. A small smirk played across his lips. Damn those smirks. Made me feel like jelly inside. Leaning forward a touch more, I gently rested my head against his warm chest and sighed. How I love this man.

"Hey sleepy head. Mind telling me what happened to the house and why I found you on the floor? And where's Alphonse?" His voice was full of concern and it made my lips ting with a smile. Roy stood up and extended a hand for me to grab. Lazily, I slapped my hand into his as he pulled me up into a hug. I can't tell him…. What happened? Not yet. Roy knows about me being sick and all but I don't think he could handle me going insane. I don't want him to worry… not at all.

"Come on, Love. Tell me, I won't mind, not at all." Roy whispered into my ear, which he knew would make me shiver. Pulled me back ever so slightly, he gently kissed me on the lips, resting his forehead on mine afterwards. Sliding his hands to join behind my back, I couldn't help but snake my arms around his neck. That's why, we're lovers… kinda. It can be awkward between two dudes sometimes, mainly when we go shopping…. Smiling, I finally came up with the best excuse I could.

"I have no idea what happened, Roy! One minute I was making myself a small snack and the next BAM! I was knocked over the head with something and fell! I vaguely remember Alphonse chasing them out and then going to his room! I bet Alphonse is still meditating from the shock of it all, Hahahaha."

Roy smiled at me and held me tighter. (Roy- *Sigh, Edward why can't you tell me the truth? Alphonse wouldn't leave his big brother lying on the floor and you were the one holding the knife that caused the damage along the walls...) "I'll get you some water and can you go wake up Al? You're both already late for work as it is.

"Shouldn't you be at work, Mr I-Skip-Work? No milk or you're a dead man walking." His arms relaxed as he let go of me and waltzed into the kitchen. Taking deep breaths, I slowly walked towards my death bed. Lifting my hand to the solid brown hardness of Al's door, I rapped my white knuckles along his door.

"Who is it?" An annoyed voice came from the inside of the wood. Clenching my eyes, I stated my name to the door.

"I-It's me, Bro." Air coming in short, I reminded myself. Deep breaths, deep long breaths. After all is done, you can go to your happy place. You can come to me, Edward~ My eyes flew open at the new voice in my head, even though it's always been there. Gasping, I shook my head. Shhh, It's okay, I can speak to you during the time your awake but I can't calm you fully unless your with me~ My thoughts were interrupted be a tad too loud growl.

"Go Away, Bastard!" Taking a few steps back, tears visible in my petty eyes. Taking more deep breaths, I tried my best to convince him.

"B-But… Roy's here, a-and h-he wants to talk to…" I didn't need to finish my sentence as the door burses open and dark silver walked passed me. Left standing there, I tried to prevent the panic attack rising. Hush little Edward don't say a word. The voice I your head's going to make it work. Close your eyes and count to three everything is going to be okay~ hee hee, you're a good singer. I chuckled to myself, feeling a lot happier than before. Well, what did you expect? Go on, I bet they are waiting. Nodding, I walked into the kitchen with a small bounce in my step but it soon faltered when I walked into the dining room.

Roy and Alphonse sat face to face with fake smiles on both of their faces. Sighing, I put mine on too. Taking a seat next to the handsome Mustang, I clasped his hand with mine as soon as I sat down. The both seemed to having a stare off until Roy broke the silence.

"So Alphonse, I heard someone broke in last night and that you chased them off, correct?" Looking directly at Al who was staring at me with something I hated in his eyes. Looking back to Roy, Alphonse stated his answer.

"Yeah, three of 'em. They were trashing the place with… daggers in their hands. Luckily they didn't steal anything." For once in my life, I was happy that AL could actually lie with it sounding like the truth. A small sad smile slid to my lips as I remember all the times I used to catch Al out for lying to me and the mum would throw apples at him.

"Did you see their faces?" Roy questioned him once again but I hardly payed attention to Alphonse's answer as more memories of good old times flooded my mind. Smiling like an idiot, my hand gently squeezed my lover's hand as I placed my face onto Roy's arm. Avoiding Al's glares but also so he could hear the hum in Roy's deep voice. Still smiling like the world didn't care.

"And you would leave poor Edward on the ground?" And it was gone. The happiness drowned out of me as I focused on the Al now. Turning my face away from Al completely, so my face was on the side and my body twisted towards Roy. Deep breaths buddy, relax and listen~ Doing as I was told, I closed my eyes and opened my ears to the world.

"Guess he deserved it for being so damn weak and not telling me when they first entered the door." I could feel the smugness dripping from his voice. Tears burning my shielded eyes, I gripped Roy's hand hard. I had a feeling Roy knew what Al was mentioning. A fist pounded on the table making me jump and huddle closer to the colonel as if he was a life support.

"Maybe he was trying to protect you! Did you ever think of that!? Maybe he didn't want you getting hurt, maybe he thought of what was best." Roy yelled at Alphonse but knowing Al, hanging around me all the time gave him some of the comeback-ness I had.

"WELL MAYBE HE SHOULD FRICKEN' TELL ME WHAT THE HELL GOES ON IN THIS FUCKIN' HOUSE!" The subject definitely changed and both Roy and Al knew it. Tears rolling down my hidden face, I could feel my body starting to shake once more. Now, Now. Maybe you should hear this? Don't wanna be passing' out now. Five minutes and then you shall be with me okay? Five more minutes and you're in your happy place~ Biting my lip, I stopped the tears from rolling not bothering to wipe them away and focused on relaxing.

"So you finally know, huh? What Ed tried so hard to keep from you? He was thinking about you when he decided not to tell you." Roy said trying to make my younger brother understand. But the thing was Al rarely understood anything fully. He would usually flow but this time… I think the current ended.

"Yeah right. He used to tell em everything! No secrets! RIGHT NOW, I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE IF HE DIES! BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, HE'S NOT MY BROTHER! I don't care anymore…" With that the smashing of angry mettle rattled down the hall. Roy must have noticed my tears that fall at the statement because my face was now in his chest. Still clenching my eyes closed, I gripped at his military jacket.

"He doesn't mean it Ed; just let him cool his head, okay?" He ruffled my hair as he kissed the top of my head. The same head I shook in response.

"H-He does mean it! He's just been holding it in! He hates me! He's always hated me! Ever since that day…. That…day." I sobbed, wetting his clothes, my hands clenching into fist but then softened. I felt myself falling but I did nothing to catch myself. Fall to me, Edward. Come play with me, Nii-san! Once again everything went black. Okay…

"Your best friend is yourself. Because it always knows how to make you happier and finds things to make you smile even if it's only on the outside."

Sorry if it doesn't make sense! This chapter explains how Ed deals with Al's freak out, thus he goes wack. Yeah, next update with hopefully be soon but don't get ya hopes up! Reviews are very much loved as they motivate me to do more! Oh and the quotes are mine, so they may not make sense!

PS: If I can get a beta, it would be loved! (I think my old one died….)