Many years have passed since England said good-bye to Ireland. Now, they're on good terms again and everything seems fine. Everything except for the unrequitted love England feels for his older brother. But, will a sudden rain shower change that?
You know I couldn't just end it with the previous chapter. That's too depressing and I'm not that sadistic. So, hopefully, you'll like this chapter. Enjoy everyone!
Today was a rather pleasant day. The sun was out and successfully broke through every cloud in the sky. It was spring so the temperature was very mild; not too warm and not too hot. Nearly every person in the street was emitting a sense of rejoice for the blooming world. Even Ireland had to stop and gaze at the beauty that was overtaking his land. England was also finding himself in lighter spirits these days.
It's the spring of 1998 and Ireland has been getting along better with his brothers. After several years of being independent, Ireland decided to mend the broken relationship between him and the United Kingdom. He didn't want to return but to clean up the mess he made when he left. Scotland, Wales, and England accepted him as their brother while Northern Ireland was still having difficulties with the situation. He eventually came around after much convincing from Ireland. But, even though the twins were back on good terms again, they kept their separate names.
Ireland had changed his name a few years after his independence. He decided to be known as Ireland again since Northern Ireland was his own country on the island. He also thought it would be simpler to be known as Ireland instead of the Irish Free State. When it came down to deciding his official name, he chose to be known as the Republic of Ireland.
Though Ireland was friendlier towards him, England couldn't help but feel a little empty whenever they were together. The dreams haven't returned since the night he ran to Ireland's house, but he still longed for the comfort of his older brother. England had spent months convincing himself that saying good-bye to Ireland was for the best. That never made him stop loving his brother, though.
Today, England decided to visit Ireland. They've been seeing a lot more of each other ever since they returned to being on good terms again. They would visit the other's house from time to time and spend part of the day there. It was an uplifting moment for England to restore that close bond with his brother.
As Ireland and England were conversing and going on about current events, they started hearing the tapping of rain against the window. Ireland stood up from his spot on the couch to see how far along the rain had progressed while he was busy talking to England. Staring out the window, he could see the rain steadily grow heavier.
"It looks like you're going to be here for a while, England," Ireland said, giving his youngest brother a reassuring grin.
"Oh well. It's not like this is the first time this happened."
"Well, while we're waiting for the rain to stop, do you want me to make you tea or anything?"
Ireland didn't really care for tea just as England could care less about coffee. Although, ever since England started coming over more often, Ireland made it a priority to stock up on some tea for the Brit's regular visits.
"Sure," England answered while staring out the window, "That'll be fine."
Ireland left the room to make the tea, leaving England to sit on the couch by himself. That strange feeling of content and loneliness began to set in England's body as he took in the sight of his older brother's living room. He was glad things were back to normal but he still wished he and Ireland could be much more.
A few minutes later, Ireland returned and they continued their previous conversation. It wasn't until Ireland paused in the middle of a sentence that England became a little curious. The Irishman appeared as though he were remembering something, a thoughtful look on his face.
"Is everything okay, Ireland?"
"Yeah... I just had a thought... That night you came to my house due to a dream..."
"Oh, it's nothing to worry over now. I haven't had them since that night."
"That's what I'm trying to bring up." Ireland grew quiet for a moment before slowly speaking again. "The dream hadn't reappeared since then, right?"
"Yes, I just said that."
"Did you ask our brothers about them to see if maybe they had something to do with them?"
"I never brought it up. I was so certain that they'd be the last people to do that to me."
"Well, you're right..."
"What do you mean?"
Ireland became quiet again, causing England to look at him. Ireland's face was serious but held a knowing look in his eyes. After a minute of silence and staring, England's eyes widened as he realized what Ireland was trying to say.
"Ireland... you...?"
"Yes, England. It was me all along."
The British nation was speechless. He wasn't sure what to say to this. He never thought about what he'd do or say if he found out Ireland controlled his dreams. All he could come up with was, "Why didn't you tell me that years ago?"
Ireland scooted closer to England and took his hand, running his thumb over the smooth pale flesh.
"I wasn't ready then," Ireland explained.
"'Wasn't ready?' What were you preparing yourself for?"
"The other nations, our brothers."
"But, why-"
"Let me explain everything to you, England. When you made me and Northern Ireland join you, yes I was deeply upset with the situation. I became annoyed and aggravated with you and how you ran things in the house. But, despite this, I still couldn't bring myself to stay mad at you for long.
"When I was still very young, I felt something towards you that I never felt around any of our other brothers. I wanted to stay by your side and protect you from other countries. I realized from my leprechauns and later on from France that I was in love with you. I knew it was wrong but, as they say, you can't control how you feel."
England was surprised to hear that, not only did Ireland feel the same way, he had been harboring his feelings for most of his life, too. England wanted to tell him his similar story but the Irish nation began to speak again.
"England, I want you to know why I became independent."
"Wait, you didn't just do it to get away from me?"
"That was part of the reason, but it's not what you're thinking. Like I told you, I can't hate you even if I tried."
"So, what was the real reason?"
"Since we were further bonded as brothers in the United Kingdom, I realized our relationship would seem even more forbidden. We could never be together with that title above us. I couldn't stand the thought of pushing my emotions away and forever seeing you as just my little brother.
"When America became independent, he told you he was no longer your brother. Gaining my independence would've been the only way. We would still be connected as brothers but it wouldn't be as official as the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland."
"You broke away just for that? You didn't have to do that. There were other options!"
"That, again, is not the whole reason I split away, England. That was only a small part of it. My main reason was because I wanted to be free again. I was hoping that Northern Ireland would agree and join me, but he decided to stay.
"I couldn't stay in the United Kingdom. I didn't feel right there. I didn't want to be under your rule. My independence meant everything to me. And, the final reason why I wanted this was to prove to you that I can be on my own again. But, that plan faltered a little once Northern Ireland proclaimed he wouldn't have anything to do with my independence."
England looked at Ireland as he finished his explanation. He gripped Ireland's hand and stared down at their intertwined fingers. He wore a look of guilt and dismay as he kept his head down, refusing to look his older brother in the eye.
"I'm sorry, Ireland. I'm really sorry."
"I know. You already told me that in the dream."
Hearing Ireland speak of the dreams, England suddenly looked up at him. He forgot about the reason why this conversation started.
"Ireland, how were you able to control my dreams?"
"With a simple Dream Possession spell."
"Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?"
"You used a simple spell on me so I used a simple spell on you."
"I should've known. No wonder you were able to interfere with my regular dreams and make the new ones so lucid."
"That was what I was looking for."
"But... to do this spell... the one who casts it..."
"Has to be awake while the dreamer sleeps."
England looked at Ireland with concern as he realized what this meant.
"That whole year, you stayed up all night to do this spell each day, and you didn't get any sleep. Did you?"
"You catch on quickly, England. I'll give you that."
"Why did you do that? Didn't that further weaken you through your struggles?"
"I knew what the consequences were before doing this. Even though I'd be sacrificing my sleep, I could still be with you without any complications arising."
"Ireland. Why did you do that? Why did you go that far?"
"I guess it was for the same reason you forced me and Northern Ireland to join you. We both did this to be physically close to one another. It was all out of love except it was disguised as different emotions."
England took this all in, letting Ireland's words sink in. He still felt guilty for hurting Ireland even though he knew the man forgave him years ago. He was a little surprised to find out that his assumptions were right and that no one was trying to trick him with the dream Ireland. He was also very happy to know that Ireland returned his feelings. At least now, even if the world disagrees to their affair, they can finally be together.
The sound of the pot whistling on the stove took them away from their thoughts. Ireland stood up to tend to the tea, leaving England alone to continue thinking about what his older brother had told him.
A sudden thought went through England's head as he started to remember the day Ireland gave him a dream catcher for Christmas. He then recollected the time Ireland came over when he was sick. He wasn't sure whether or not that was a dream since he was pretty delirious during his sickness.
Ireland shortly returned with two cups filled with tea, giving one of the cups to England before sitting down. After taking a sip, England decided to ask Ireland the thoughts that were weighing on his mind at the moment.
"Say, Ireland? Can I ask you something?"
"Anything, England."
"When you gave me that dream catcher years ago, did you do anything to it? Maybe cast a spell on it?"
"Only to do what it was meant for," Ireland said as he took a sip of his tea, "To make sure that anything that wishes to cause you harm or nightmares stays trapped in its net."
"Was that to make sure that, if you missed a night, I would still have good dreams?"
Ireland reached up and ruffled England's messy blond hair. A small smile spread across his face as he chuckled lightly under his breath.
"Right again, England."
The Brit blushed lightly as he remembered the last time Ireland showed him this sort of affection. It may have been the Ireland in his dreams but it was still his older brother.
"Can I ask you something else?"
"What would that be?"
"Did you... ever visit me when I was sick? More specifically during World War 2?"
"Yes, actually. Do you not remember it?"
"Well, I thought it was a dream when it happened because I thought you didn't want anything to do with me. But, after seeing you look frail and weak, I started to wonder if maybe it wasn't a dream at all."
"It happened. I came over and then you started acting strange, and gave me odd requests."
"So, you mean-"
"You asked me to lay in bed next to you and then asked for a kiss."
England's face became red as he realized what he did years ago. Needless to say, he was quite embarrassed.
"Oh my God! I can't believe I did that!" England exclaimed as he hid his face.
"England! It's okay! That was a long time ago!"
"That doesn't change the fact that I actually asked you to do those things!"
"But we did that all the time in the dreams!"
"But I didn't know it was really you until now!"
"England, calm down!"
Ireland wrapped his arms around England and pulled him into a warm hug. He slowly started to calm down into the embrace, enjoying the affection he was receiving again. It was real this time. This wasn't a dream anymore. He was really being held by Ireland. He was being loved by Ireland.
The Irishman rubbed his little brother's shoulder and arm in an attempt to calm his nerves. He felt England relax in his arms, growing less tense. After comforting him for a few more moments, Ireland stopped and asked, "Better?" England nodded before resting his head against Ireland's chest.
"At least no one knows about that," England said to reassure himself.
"Actually... someone does know..."
England raised his head to look up at Ireland. By the look his older brother was giving him, he knew he wasn't going to like this.
"Who knows?"
"France."
"What?!"
"It's not what you think England! Let me explain!"
"Why would you tell him anything?! Don't you know he's the most perverted nation in the world?!"
"Yes, I know this! But let me explain-"
"Out of all the countries you could've told about this, you just had to talk to the bloody, perverted fro-" Ireland clapped his hand over England's mouth to silence him.
"England, France is my best friend. I had to talk to someone about my feelings and I couldn't always rely on my leprechauns, so he was the only one I could turn to. But don't think that I made a bad decision. France kept his word when I told him to never speak of this to anyone. Trust me on this."
Ireland removed his hand from England's mouth and waited to hear his answer.
"So, France knows everything?"
"Yes. Everything."
"Does he know about the dreams?"
"He doesn't quite understand it but he knows."
"He knows about you visiting me and what happened on your visit?"
"Actually, he was watching from outside the door the entire time."
"What?!"
"I know, I know. I didn't feel comfortable with it either. He was the one who suggested I visit you in the first place."
"That doesn't give him a right to watch!"
"I'll admit, I think he went a little far on that."
"You think?"
Ireland ruffled England's hair again in another attempt to calm his brother down. His dark green eyes shifted over to the window, where he paused to concentrate on the view outside.
"It stopped raining," Ireland stated. England looked behind him at the window to see that the rain had indeed stopped.
"I guess I should be going home," England said in a low voice. He didn't want to go home yet. He'd rather stay with Ireland for a little longer.
"Not yet. There's something I want to show you."
Ireland stood up as he took England's hand. England followed his brother upstairs and down the hall into his bedroom. He stood in the middle of the room and watched as Ireland walked over to his night stand and pull out the drawer. The red-head immediately found what he was looking for and called England over. England sat next to Ireland on the bed, curious to know what Ireland wanted to show him.
Ireland pulled his hand out of the drawer, pulling out a thick, dark green piece of fabric. It wasn't until England looked at it a little closer that he noticed the small indentions along the edges. The useless attempts Ireland made to try and cut it off from his neck. It was Ireland's old collar that bounded him to the United Kingdom.
"Is that-"
"Yes, it is."
"Why? Why did you keep that? After all these years... why is that still in your possession?"
"To remember."
"Remember what? I thought you hated being under my rule."
"I did. But, there were still plenty of memories that were good. I didn't always have bad moments in the United Kingdom."
"I still don't understand. You spent a whole century trying to get that off but you still hang on to it today."
"I know. It's strange to me too. I guess it's sort of like a momento of my time there. I can't throw it away but I don't want it around my neck again."
They sat there in silence, reminiscing on the past. England had to admit that Ireland wasn't always frustrated and upset during his stay in the United Kingdom. There were several moments where he'd crack a smile in his direction and be a little bit joyous with him. It was mostly during celebrations or when they'd drink together. It was near the time of the war for Ireland's independence that his older brother stopped being so cheerful.
"England."
The blond turned his head to look over at Ireland. The older nation put his hand over England's again and gave it a soft, reassuring squeeze.
"Let's start over," Ireland said to him in a calm but gentle voice.
"What do you mean?"
"I messed up when I tried to be in a relationship with you. I was afraid of what everyone would say once they found out. I was also scared that everyone would think my independence was a waste of time. I mean, I had just split away from you and when I started the dreams, it was way too soon for us to be friendly again.
"But now I'm not afraid anymore. I don't care what anyone thinks about us. So, I'm asking if we can start over from the beginning. We can do this the right way without any worries or fears."
England looked at him and saw the desperation and hope in his brother's eyes. He could also see the guilt and remorse that seemed to make his eyes darker. It seems that even Ireland had been feeling some regret over the years as well.
England gripped the Irishman's hand as though something would happen if he didn't hold onto it.
"Of course. It's all I've ever wanted."
"England..." Ireland smiled before cupping his little brother's cheek and leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on his lips. It was longer than a peck but still too short.
"You don't know how happy this makes me," Ireland whispered.
"You have no idea how much this means to me."
"Then, I guess I'll have to learn, won't I?"
"Never leave me again."
"I promise, England. I won't hurt you like that again."
"Ireland?"
"Yes?"
"Can you call me deartháir beag like you use to?"
"Of course. Anything for my deartháir beag."
England didn't go home until many hours later. He and Ireland were too happy to separate from each other again. But, they both knew that their brothers would become suspicious, so England had to leave eventually. But, it wasn't too bad, they realized. After all, the only thing that separates them now is a channel.