I'm in a pretty generous mood today, so here's chapter nine;) Don't forget to review!:D
Eight hours. That was how long it had taken her to repair his broken body, and those eight hours had been the most terrifying 480 minutes of her entire life.
No scan had quite prepared her for the horrifying damage done to his body. He'd been bleeding from multiple organs, which had all needed extensive repairs. His spleen had been so pulverized that removing it was her only opinion. The damage to his lungs was so serious she knew he'd need to be fully ventilated for at least the next couple days while they healed. And just when she'd thought he was out of immediate danger, his heart had stopped again. She had been forced to extend the incision in his chest only to find that his pericardium was so full of blood that his artificial heart was literally being crushed.
Yet despite everything, she'd saved him.
It would be touch and go for a while, but Jean-Luc had not died on the table under her scalpel as she had so feared.
He was alive.
Suddenly, an old nursery rhyme that her grandmother had often recited to her as a child entered Dr. Crusher's mind as she began closing up.
…and all the king's horses and all the king's men somehow managed to put Humpty Dumpty back together again…
She smirked at the thought.
Finishing, she gave post-op instructions to a resident and one of the nurses and then exited the operating room.
Stripping her gloves off, she glanced down at the gown she was wearing. The sight made her sick. She was covered in blood…his blood.
Before now, Beverly hadn't truly thought about how close Jean-Luc had been to death and how close she'd been to losing him.
What would have done if he had died? What will I do if he still does?
He will have never heard me tell him how I feel…that I love him.
With that thought, the wall that Beverly had put up, came crashing down.
Professional detachment be damned.
She cried. Hard. For Jean-Luc, for herself, for all the fears and worries that she had held within the confines over her heart, for all the years with him that she had given-up because she'd been too scared to love him.
Sobs broke free from her chest for a solid five minutes, and she sat, knees curled up to her chest, on the floor.
When he wakes up, I have to tell him how I feel. No more pretending I can live without him, because I can't. I love him so much…and I almost lost him today.
Feeling slightly better, Beverly wiped her eyes and said a silent thank you that no one was around to see their boss display such an intense and unprofessional display of emotion. Despite being physically and mentally exhausted, she got up and made her way to post-op, where she knew her team ought to just now be settling Jean-Luc.
She was right, of course. There were several doctors and nurses around him when she walked in and when they saw her enter, they all started standing noticeably straighter.
"Report," Beverly ordered.
"The captain has continued to remain stable. We've started him on several high doses of antibiotics to prevent post-operative infection and we just started him on an intravenous drip to keep him hydrated and to keep up on his pain medications." The chief resident responded.
"Good. Also let's hang another bag of A neg., as his platelets are still lower than I would like them to be."
"Yes, sir."
The other doctors finished their tasks and then Beverly announced that she would stay and monitor the captain for the time being. No one dared object. They all knew that she needed this time to cope with the events of the day.
When they had all left, Beverly pulled up a chair next to Jean-Luc's bedside and took ahold of his hand. She needed to physically touch him and to feel the warmth of his skin. She needed to feel that he was still alive…still with her.
She couldn't help but note how sick he looked. His skin was grey and pale and the repeated rise and fall of his chest reminded her that he was still heavily sedated and the computer was breathing for him. It was taking a room full of machines just to keep the man she loved clinging to life. The thought scared her.
But he was alive, and for the time being, that was all that really mattered.
She placed her hand over his heart and closed her eyes.
Just keep beating, and I will take care of the rest.