After breakfast, Mel and Jared headed back to their room for some alone time. Under the circumstances, Jeb had given them a day off of work. Tonight they would leave for the raid, anyway, and they needed time to prepare and rest. Jamie was let off of school, as well, but decided to let the two spend some time together.
Melanie giggled as she climbed into the bed, Jared right behind her. She immediately lay down on her back. Jared eased himself on top of her, careful not to put his full weight on her, and gingerly pressed his lips to hers. Mel lifted her right hand and tangled it in his hair. She grinned against his lips as his hands ran up and down her sides. "Jared," she whispered, sliding her hands under his shirt. She could feel the perfectly sculpted muscles under her fingers, the light trail of hair. He leaned in closer to her, kissing her more passionately. He had so terribly missed the feel of her lips, despite the few times he had kissed Wanda. It's so much better with Mel in her body; so much more meaningful.
Mel methodically rolled over so that she was straddling Jared, who reluctantly let her do so. He sat up a little and let his tongue slide over her lips until she opened her mouth and let him in. Her body heated up at his touch and her heart pounded in her chest. She played with the hem of his shirt before easing it off of him, breaking their kiss for only a quick second. She explored his body once again, running her hands over his shoulders as he trailed a path of kisses down her neck. He stopped when he met the neckline of her shirt and looked up into her eyes for approval. They hadn't done this in a while, after all, and he didn't want to push her too far. She looked down at him and nodded, needing his touch. He gently pulled the shirt over her head and smiled at what he say. Her perfect skin, glowing faintly in the morning light. Her round breasts, still cupped in her braw. Her embarrassed smile as she tilted his chin up to her face. "Sorry, Mel. I've just really missed you."
She laughed before pressing his mouth against hers once again. Jared carefully trailed his hands over her body, tickling her stomach, massage her back. She moaned as his hands skimmed the lower part of her body, and pulled away slightly. "Jared, no." Despite how much she had missed him, she wasn't ready for that yet. "I . . . I just got back. We need to take some time, Jared. Work up to that."
Jared, though a little disappointed, nodded. "Whatever you want," he whispered. They returned to their kissing, not going any farther than that; just feeling and loving each other.
Ian sat on his bed, staring longingly at the cylinder in front of him. He wondered if Wanda knew what was going on now. If she was scared or nervous, or if she was missing him, too. Could she even think in this form? He didn't know. Could she do anything? He didn't know that either. He would love her no matter what, even if she couldn't think or move or speak. He had never seen her as a silver Soul, but he had seen others-sadly, only the ones that Doc had cut up. But before he had dissected them, they had been just as gorgeous. They glowed with this ethereal light that captured his attention. He could only imagine how much more marvelous Wanda looked if a stranger Soul looked like that.
He decided that he wanted to learn a little bit more about what Wanda was going through; if she was in pain, if she was even aware. He got up, carefully holding the cyrotank, and headed next door to Kyle's room. Kyle wasn't there, surprisingly, but Sunny sat, curled up, on the bed. Kyle never left her alone, but he supposed he had to work. Sunny, having just gotten here, wasn't allowed to work in the fields yet, or even in the kitchen. She usually clung to Kyle; it must have taken guts for her to stay here alone.
He knocked lightly on the door, as not to startle her. She jumped up, anyway, and turned nervously to where Kyle stood. She let out a breath of relief at the familiar face, and relaxed slightly. She still wasn't comfortable with humans besides Ian, but she didn't mind him as much because he was Kyle's brother. "Hey, Sunny. Can I come in?" he asked gently. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. He walked in slowly and sat down on the edge of the bed, hoping that was enough distance. "I came to ask you a few questions . . . about Wanda. And Souls, I guess."
"Oh," she said, not expecting that. "Can I ask you something first?" He furrowed his brow before nodding. "Is she going to come back? I . . . I miss her."
Ian looked down, sad. Of course the only other Soul down here would miss Wanda. Especially someone as shy as Sunny. "Yes. Jared, Mel, and Jamie are going to find her another host tonight. We'll have her back in a few days." He smiled down hopefully at the cyrotank in his arms.
"Good," she smiled slightly. "Um, what would you like to know?'
"I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I can always ask Wanda when she gets back," he started. "It's just . . I was wondering what it's like for Souls when they're in their own bodies?" He wasn't sure if that was the correct phrasing and worried he'd offended her.
Luckily, Sunny just nodded. She must've been asked this before. "It's not anything," she sighs. "We don't feel. We don't move. We don't think."
"Why-Why not?"
"Well, because we can't. That's the whole reason that we have to have a host body-to be able to be. Once we attach to a host, we're able to use their senses and their minds to be able to live. Without them, we're nothing."
"So . . . does that mean that Wanda might not be the same in a different host?" Ian asked, scared of the answer. What if it was no? What if he could never get his Wanda back?
"No, of course not," Sunny rushed to answer. "Our bodies still retain thoughts and memories and the like. It's just that while we're hostless, we can't access them. It's kind of like you're sleeping, but without dreams, I guess." She shrugged again and nervously played with her hair.
"Does it hurt at all? I mean, being in a cyrotank without a host?"
Sunny closed her eyes and thought this one through. "Not exactly. I mean, we don't necessarily feel it. But in some way, or bodies are aware that they aren't in a host. And without a host, we die," she said sadly. She was thinking about how Kyle almost didn't put her back inside of Jodi. "A cyrotank is like a fake host-an environment that keeps us alive for the time being. Our bodies respond to it somewhat like a host, but they also recognize the difference. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good. Does that make any sense?"
This was the most that Sunny had ever said to him, maybe even anyone, and he had trouble taking it in. The idea of not feeling, not thinking, but still sensing a difference was too much for him to handle. "A little. I just can't really imagine it."
"It's hard," she agreed. "I always try to remember how it feels once I get to a new planet, but it's impossible to imagine again. I only really know the exact feeling when I'm in the cyrotank-but even then I can't process it because I can't think. It's a bit of a paradox," she laughs.
"Definitely," Ian answered. They were quiet for a long moment before he talked again. The relief that Wanda wasn't in any pain made him feel better, but the thought of Wanda not thinking made him worry. "How does it feel to, you know, be in a different body?"
He was positive she wouldn't want to answer this, but she surprised him by talking immediately. "It feels amazing. I'm not going to lie and say that I love my own body, because I don't. It makes me feel small and gross. It makes me feel like I am a parasite. But being in a larger, a smarter body-it's just incredible. I finally get to feel like I'm worth something, like I matter. It's just . . I don't know," she says shyly, ducking her head.
"Hey, don't say that," Ian says, touching her arm gently. "You're not a parasite, Sunny. And you're not gross; you're beautiful. And you matter, even if you're not in a host." That's what he'd tell Wanda if she ever said something like that, and telling Sunny made him feel a little better.
"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm gl-" she was interrupted by the sound of the makeshift door slamming.
"What the hell is this?" Kyle yelled, looking angrily at Ian. "Get out of here!"
"Kyle, he was just asking me some questions," Sunny murmured.
"Kyle, I'm sor-"
"Shut up, Ian! Get out of here before I make you. Don't go near her!" he roared. Sunny whimpered. Ian quickly got up and shuffled out the door just as Kyle went over and sat beside Sunny. He raced back towards his room and slid back inside his bed, clutching his Wanda to his chest.