Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi. 'Nuff said.
Author's Note: Here be the next chapter.
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Sand Castles
Solace
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Her room was a disaster.
Clare Edwards typically prided herself on being a relatively neat and organized person, tidy to a fault, but now it looked as if a tornado had blown through her room, leaving a giant mess in its wake. Her clothes were everywhere, strewn across her bed, floor and desk chair. Looking around, she felt like she was about to cry as realization dawned on her.
Nothing fit her anymore, not even her uniform. It had become impossible to zip up skirts and pants all the way. She had to wear a hoodie to hide the growing bump in her mid-section. Fortunately for her it was December, and so it didn't raise suspicion at school. Still, Clare mused as she moved to stand in front of the mirror, placing her hands on her stomach — it wouldn't be long before even a sweater couldn't conceal her secret.
A knock at the door jarred her from her thoughts. Grabbing the nearest sweater, she quickly threw it on, just as her mother entered her room.
"Clare? I've been calling you for five minutes." She informed her. "Dinner's ready."
"Okay, Mom. I'll, uh… I'll be right down." Clare said nervously.
Helen nodded, before her brows knit together as she inspected her daughter's room.
"I hope you plan on cleaning this up." She remarked.
"Y-yeah, of course." Clare assured her.
"Good." With that, her mother turned on her heel and disappeared out the door.
Once she was out of earshot, Clare let out a deep breath, biting her lip and glancing around.
She had a long night ahead of her.
.
.
.
"Pass the mashed potatoes, will you?"
Clare did as she was asked, passing Glen the mashed potatoes before focusing her attention back on her plate, which remained mostly full. She didn't know if it was her hormones or Jake's presence at the table, or maybe even both, but her appetite had simply ceased to exist. As Jake devoured his second helping like he hadn't eaten in years, she lazily pushed her vegetables around with her fork, elbow propped up on the table and chin resting against her knuckles. She had barely eaten anything, save for three bites of steak and a few pieces of broccoli. Deep down, she knew she should have been eating more. She was eating for two now, after all. But the mere smell of food, combined with the sounds of Jake's chewing, was making her nauseous.
"So, Jake," Glen spoke up in an attempt to get a conversation going. "Why don't you tell us about your new girlfriend?"
Clare stiffened. Beside her, her mother perked up with interest, while Jake, sitting directly across from her, took a long sip of his water.
"Uhh… what girlfriend?" He asked, feigning ignorance.
Clare rolled her eyes.
"The one you've been texting non-stop. The one you brought over a while ago." Glen elaborated.
"Umm… well…" Jake rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, and it was obvious to Clare that he didn't want to answer — at least not while she was there.
She gripped her fork tightly as she thought about Jake fooling around with Jenna, so soon after they had broken up. It was KC all over again, only ten times worse. When KC had broken up with her, he hadn't left her with a baby. In fact, Jake hadn't even "broken up" with her, not formally. He had just started avoiding her like the plague, expecting her to take the hint. She had — loud and clear — and if it wasn't for Eli, she would be dealing with this alone.
"Jenna Middleton." She answered for Jake, drawing their parents' attention to her. She kept her gaze downcast, glaring at her plate. "She just had a baby, you know. Last year. But she gave it up for adoption." She stabbed her steak violently. Feeling Jake's eyes on her, she glanced up at him. "Better stock up on condoms. You never know what could happen."
"Clare!" Her mother cried, shooting her an incredulous look. "Enough! We won't have this kind of talk at the dinner table!"
"What talk, Mom? Please enlighten me. Could it be… teen pregnancy for 500?" Clare sneered.
Jake visibly tensed.
"Clare -" Glen started, only to be cut off by his wife.
"Young lady, what is the matter with you?" Helen demanded.
"Everything! Everything is wrong, Mom, and you're so blind that you can't even see it!" Clare cried.
"What's this about?" Her mother asked, growing exasperated.
Clare forced a laugh, as though it was the most absurd thing she had ever heard.
"My clothes don't fit anymore. Nothing does. And do you know why? Because I'm…" Clare took a deep, shuddery breath, blinking back tears as she whispered, "I'm pregnant."
The dining room fell silent. It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Glen was stunned at the news, unable to form a coherent sentence. The color had completely drained from Jake's face, and he looked about ready to hurl. But Clare didn't care about their reactions. Her heart hammered against her chest as she watched her mother and waited, but her mother's expression remained stoic. Then, without a word, Helen stood up and left the table.
Clare got up seconds later, following her mother into the kitchen.
"Mom… Mom!" She said desperately, coming to a halt behind her. "Say something… please…"
Helen's shoulders tensed as she turned to face her youngest daughter.
"What do you want me to say, Clare? I… I can't even look at you right now." She said, her voice raspy as she stared at her in disbelief. "Who are you, and what have you done with my Clare?"
Tears sprung to Clare's eyes.
"I am Clare! I'm your daughter!"
Helen shook her head, averting her gaze.
"My Clare would never…" She started, but trailed off, clearing her throat. "How could this happen? I didn't raise you to be some… irresponsible floozy!"
"I'm not!" Clare cried, balling her fists before letting out a choked sob. "Jesus Christ, Mom… you're one to talk! You used to tell me that divorce was wrong, and then you went and got one! And then you go and get married to Glen after dating for, what, two months? What was I supposed to think with all these mixed messages?"
"That's different, Clare. I'm an adult." Helen countered.
"Really? Because you could've fooled me." Clare spat. "All you ever do is fawn over Glen like some love struck schoolgirl! You didn't ask me if I was okay with the divorce. You didn't ask me if I was okay with you dating again. You didn't even ask me if I was okay with you getting re-married! Let's face it — in the last year, it's just been about you, you, you!"
"That's enough!" Helen hissed.
Clare reluctantly fell silent, her eyes burning with angry, unshed tears and her cheeks red from yelling. Her whole body was shaking.
"Who's the father?"
So consumed by her outburst, Clare hadn't even noticed Glen and Jake enter the kitchen. Glen looked at her expectantly, waiting an answer, and Clare was sure her mother wanted to know as well. Her gaze flickered over to Jake, standing in the doorway. She silently pleaded for him to step up, but instead he simply glanced down at the floor.
"Eli." She answered, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Eli?" Glen repeated, having no idea who Eli was.
"Eli?" Her mother echoed in disbelief.
Clare nodded. "It was… at the cabin… in the woods… we were talking and it just… happened."
That was a lie. Nothing had happened between her and Eli, but she and Jake had consummated their relationship at the start of the school year, just a couple weeks after the cabin trip. It wouldn't have been that far of a stretch. She spared Jake a brief glance. His brow was furrowed in confusion.
"I knew it… I knew that boy was bad news… but I never thought…" Helen shook her head, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Mom?" Clare took a hesitant step forward. "Mom…"
"Get out."
Clare froze, staring at her mother.
"W-what?"
"Helen…" Glen started to protest, but Helen interrupted him, waving a dismissive hand in Clare's direction.
"I can't… I can't right now. Clare, I want you out of this house in twenty minutes." She said, her voice trembling.
"Mom… Mom… no… please!" Clare begged, reaching for her mother, but Helen stepped out of the way.
"I'm sorry, Clare." She murmured, before brushing past her.
Clare stood in the middle of the kitchen in shock. She felt Glen's hand on her shoulder, hearing him assure her that her mother would "come around" eventually, but that didn't matter to her. Her mother had rejected her. Her mother was kicking her out. She had known that this would happen, but she had hoped that maybe — maybe — her mother would be sympathetic to her plight. But she'd been wrong, and now she had nowhere to go.
Weakly, she turned around and headed upstairs to begin packing. She packed the necessities — her toiletries, her uniform, some pajamas and a few of her favorite clothes that didn't require zippers or buttons. She was in the middle of packing her laptop when she felt another presence in her room, and glanced over her shoulder to see Jake standing there.
"Eli?" He questioned with a frown.
Clare narrowed her eyes, hearing the accusation in his voice.
"I just said that to keep you out of trouble — not that you deserve it." She muttered. "Because in case you forgot, I was a virgin that night. Or were the bloody sheets not a big enough hint?"
Jake swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly. "Where… where are you going to stay? Maybe we can talk to our parents -"
"It's too late for that, Jake!" Clare snapped, slamming her suitcase shut. "You had your chance to tell them the truth and you didn't. Now I'm the one who has to deal with the consequences!"
"I'm sorry…" Jake repeated, looking genuinely guilty.
Clare just glared at him, zipping up her suitcase and hoisting it onto the floor, before dragging it past him and out the door.
oOo
It took her over an hour to reach her destination. By bike, it would have taken her only half that time, but with all her luggage it was impossible to ride her bike there. Without any money on her, a cab or bus was out of the question, and so she had to make do with walking. At first, she had considered going to Alli's; she only lived a few blocks away and the journey wouldn't have been quite as long as her current one. Then she remembered that she and Alli weren't on speaking terms, and so she'd kept walking and walking, not knowing where exactly she was going until she passed a familiar intersection and realized where she was.
Clare recognized Eli's house immediately, although it lacked the hearse she had once been so used to seeing parked in the driveway. Bullfrog's Mustang was also missing, and for a moment Clare wondered if she Goldsworthys were even home. She regretted not calling Eli ahead of time to let him know she was coming, but after being kicked to the curb by her own mother, she hadn't really been thinking clearly. She paused to catch her breath before making her way up to the front porch. She hesitated for a moment before ringing the doorbell.
She expected Eli to answer the door, but instead she was greeted by none other than Cece Goldsworthy. Clare hadn't seen her since the production of Love Roulette and Eli's subsequent meltdown on stage, and she hadn't spoken to her since shortly before she had broken up with Eli. She was sure Cece hated her for hurting her son, and she couldn't blame herself for that. After everything Eli had done for her — keeping her secret, helping her find a job, being a shoulder to lean on — she was starting to hate herself more and more. It made her stomach churn to think about the night he crashed his hearse, and begged her to stay with him at the hospital while she just… left. Left when he needed her most.
Shaking those thoughts from her head, Clare dared to look up at Cece. Her hair was shorter and she wasn't wearing any makeup, but other than that she looked the same. She seemed startled to see her of all people standing before her, however.
"Clare?" She finally spoke. "What are you doing here?"
"Is Eli home?" Clare blurt out.
Cece frowned.
"He's out with his dad. They're down at radio station." She said. "What's this about?"
"I…" Unable to hold herself together any longer, Clare burst into tears, throwing her arms around Cece and sobbing uncontrollably.
Startled at first, Cece's arms soon looped around her, pulling her into a kind embrace.
"Come on, baby girl. Let's get you inside." She said gently, leading Clare inside.
She retrieved Clare's belongings and set them by the living room entrance before guiding Clare over to the sofa and sitting down, taking Clare with her. Clare buried her face in Cece's shoulder, clinging to her desperately as she continued to cry, while Cece rubbed her back in soothing motions.
"There, there… let it all out…" She whispered.
When Clare finally managed to calm herself down, she leaned back, her eyes bloodshot and face blotchy and streaked with tears. Cece smiled weakly at her.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" She asked.
"I… my m-mom… she kicked me out…" Clare whimpered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean to impose on your family, it's just… I couldn't think of anywhere else to go… but if you want me to leave I can just -" she moved to stand up, but Cece pulled her back down.
"Tell you what. I'll make us some tea… and you can tell me everything." She said, before getting up and heading into the kitchen.
She returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea, and handed one to Clare.
"Thank you." Clare murmured, taking a small sip.
Cece gave her a small smile.
"I, umm… I'm pregnant…." Clare confessed softly, staring down at the cup in her hands. "And Eli… he's been helping me…"
"Oh… baby girl…" Cece whispered.
"It was only one time…" Clare whimpered. "I didn't think anything would happen, but… it did… and today my mom found out and she… she said I couldn't live there anymore… so I had to leave." She clutched her cup. "I couldn't call my dad… he's too busy with his new girlfriend and her kids to… deal with me. And I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now but I just… I don't know what I'm gonna do…"
Cece was quiet for a moment, clearly deep in thought. Clare took another sip of her tea before placing it on the coffee table, her head bowed and hands fidgeting nervously as she waited for the older woman's response.
"Well, we can't have you living on the street… especially not when there's a baby involved." She said. "So I guess for the time being… you'll have to stay with us."
"Y-you don't have to -" Clare started.
"I've already made up my mind." Cece said firmly. "I'll have a talk with Bullfrog later, but until then… get some rest. Okay?"
"Okay." Clare answered softly.
.
.
.
"We're home!" Bullfrog bellowed as he and Eli entered the house.
Eli ducked past him, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket before heading into the kitchen. He was about to steal a cookie from the pantry when he noticed a suitcase sitting by the living room entrance. Furrowing his brow, he forgot about his stomach and made his way into the living room, where he saw his mother sitting on the couch, watching TV.
"Mom? Are you going somewhere?" He asked.
"No. Clare stopped by." Cece answered simply. "In fact, she'll be staying here for a while."
"Who's staying here?" Bullfrog asked as he entered the room.
"Clare." Cece said.
"What… I don't understand… what's going on?" Eli asked.
"I could ask you the same thing, Elijah." His mother said sternly. She promptly turned off the TV before standing up and walking over to him, her arms crossed. "Just when were you going to tell me about Clare?"
"Tell you what?" Eli asked, narrowing his eyes.
Cece gave him a warning look.
"Okay, look… she's been dealing with some stuff and I've been helping her out." Eli told her.
"Eli, she's pregnant!" Cece hissed.
"Wait, Clarebelle's pregnant?" Bullfrog asked, completely out of the loop. He turned his attention to his son. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't!" Eli cried. "She swore me to secrecy!"
Cece sighed, bringing a hand to her forehead. "Oh, baby boy… I can't believe you got that girl pregnant…"
"Whoa, hold up!" Eli put up his hands. "I didn't get her pregnant. I've just been helping her since the asshole who did decided to leave her to deal with it on her own."
"I need a drink…" Bullfrog muttered, heading to the fridge.
Once Bullfrog was out of earshot, Eli glanced over at his mother.
"Wait… why is Clare staying with us?" He asked.
"Her mother kicked her out." Cece told him sadly. "You should've seen that poor girl, Eli… she was a mess. I couldn't turn her away, not when she's pregnant…"
"Where is she?" Eli asked.
"In your room. She's sleeping though, so be quiet when you go up there." Cece informed him.
Eli nodded before making his way up the stairs and to his room. He opened the door as quietly as he could, and shut it with a soft click before turning around. There, curled up on his bed, was Clare. He walked over slowly, and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her bangs out of her face. Her cheeks were stained with tears, making his heart ache. He felt guilty for not having been home — for not being there to comfort her and assure her that everything was going to be okay.
But truthfully, he didn't know if everything was going to be okay.
Clare stirred, whimpering in her sleep.
Carefully, Eli climbed into bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Instinctively, Clare relaxed against him. Eli smiled, kissing her temple and stroking her hair gently before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
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Phew, that was a long chapter. I was on the train for five and a half hours, without internet connection, so I had a lot of time to think about this chapter (as well as my other fics) and plot stuff out. Hopefully this was an enjoyable chapter.
Please REVIEW and tell me what you think!