Hey, here's the next chapter. Its shorter, but next chapter will include the play date scene with Cam and Mitchell. There will be either a one shot of what the lumber incident was at some point or possibly a flashback, I haven't decided that far in advance yet. Thanks for reading!
Thanks, 'Guest' for the review, next chapter will include plenty of Cam and Mitchell and will kick off their permanent involvement in this story. Thanks!
"Did you really have to bring up the lumber yard incident?" Pam questions from the doorway to our room having just put Conner to bed, her voice soft as insecurity sets in.
Her voice, as well as the suppressed wetness in her eyes, has me across the room in seconds. Reaching out, I grasp her hand pulling her further into the room and closing the door simultaneously.
Locking her other hand with my own, I pull her closer so our clasped hands hang in a sharp 'v'. Searching her face, I can't stop the anger at myself for the hurt I find there.
Why am I so stupid?
Giving her hand as gentle squeeze, I bring the hand up to her cheek, both in comfort and in an effort to raise her gaze from her study of our clasped hands.
"I shouldn't have brought that up. I'd like to say it had something to do with alcohol talking or something, but it was just –well- word vomit comes to mind." I say, rambling due to the sinking feeling her wet eyes bring to me.
"It's not just that…I just…I hate that you're still so afraid of anyone finding out." She pauses, and I shift a little closer for comfort as I hear her voice crack. "At first it made since –don't get me wrong, I know your family- but we've been here seven years now, and you're still acting like your mother could pop out of every corner." She finishes voice thick with love and hurt, causing my eyes to drop to the floor.
Taking a moment to breath, I gain strength from our clasped hands before I speak. "I know, that's not the only issue. Don't try to cover this up; we need to talk about things like this." Sliding my hand from her cheek, I move some unruly hair from her eyes. "We both know I saw that strangled look earlier."
"I don't…" She pauses clearing her throat, "What happened at the lumber yard happened because of that though. And now you want to hide us from Conner's school!" She says, closing her eyes for a moment, before using our still linked had to lead me to sit on the bed, while she began pacing in front of me.
"I don't want to hide-" I begin to say, but stop due to her raised hand begging for a moment to finish
"I know you want to protect him, I do too. But, he's going to be a strong kid, he has to be, and we'll be there to help him." She pauses, stopping her pacing for a moment to look me in the eyes, before continuing both. "The more we try to hide this, the more questions he's going to have, and maybe he'll end up thinking it's wrong too? Who knows, but if we hide us like were some big bad thing out in public, what do you think he's going to think?" She finishes, yet her pacing continues, her hands flying to tug at her hair constantly.
"I've thought of that, you have to know I have. It's just…" I say, reaching my hand out to grasp hers again, stopping her in her tracks. "For the majority of my life, I've had to hide this; I guess it's just hard to be more open. You have to know I don't like it, you have to. Not being able to hug you or kiss you, or even just hold your hand in public, due to my own…my fear, it's not easy…I just, I can't seem to get over it." I finish, floundering a bit, eyes dropping to my lap.
Immediately, I hear her sigh, and feel the bed dip beside me.
"Look, we'll just start off slow, like when we were first dating, remember? When you feel comfortable, hold my hand when we walk down the street. But only when you feel comfortable, we'll work through this, okay?" She asks, the fight gone from her voice as she wraps her arm around my waist.
Leaning in closer to her, I take a deep breath breathing in her comforting scent.
"Okay." I say with a hesitant smile, already feeling a weight lifted.
"Good." Pam replies, pressing her lips to my cheek
Reaching my arm back, I wrap it around her waist taking comfort in holding and being held by her.
Resting my head on her shoulder, I can't help but hold her tighter, and smile at the feel of her pulling me closer.
"I'll try harder tomorrow." I promise, turning to kiss her neck.
"Mmhhmm." She sighs in answer, as I continue.