Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Lies I Told Myself
Key
S.S: Sick Shit (not suitable for the weak-minded or squeamish)
thinking
"talking"
'substitute for italics' (in certain places, like emphasising something)
/telepathy/
:scene change: (more for my reference than anything else)
POV
Summary: I was a cold, callous individual. I was sarcastic and witty, not a pleasant person to be around. I cut you down with biting words every chance I got and smiled so frighteningly that I made children cry. I was, simply put, an asshole. I never cared what you thought of me. And one day I got bored, so very bored, so I decided to snap.
A/N: As you can see, Naruto is a genius but nowhere close to infallible. He can and will get his ass kicked quite often until a certain point, it serves to humble and force him to come up with new ways to prevent the same thing from happening again.
Something's here
But you cannot see it
Insanity rules
This realm
But
Sadly
I
Do not
Knaji
Chapter Three: An Eventful Day
:Konoha Hospital:
I'd never enjoyed hospitals. They always smelled like old people and antiseptic. Believe me, it wasn't terribly pleasing to awaken surrounded by strange machinery with every bit of skin on my hands and arms pricked with IV needles. This was really only the second time I'd ended up in this place, I healed rather quickly thanks to my tenant, actually, it wouldn't surprise me if I was already in quite fit health. Ah, but I digress. The first time I was here it was because I had fallen from the top of the Monument. 'Fallen' is used quite lightly here, moreso I was thrown or pushed. I don't really remember, I was four at the time and deeply engrossed in a book. Never even heard them come up behind me. Luckily or unluckily, however you choose to view it depending on your bias, I landed on a villager. They ended up with an injured back for their troubles and I with a broken collarbone and left arm after they threw me off their balcony to the ground three stories below. I was healed in a day or so while Sarutobi caught the people who did it and reprimanded the rude villager so all was fine. The only thing that made me enjoy the hospital was a particular nurse by the name of Shihiru Aki. She was a former farm girl from the Southern parts of Hi No Kuni and had the build, green eyes, sun bleached blonde hair and dialect to prove it. She was a joy to be around and was always slipping me little treats or books to read, she was also the only one in that hospital, besides Doctor Kotimo, that I trusted in the slightest.
I suppose that's why I didn't paralyze her permanently with a straw when she woke me up that morning with a glass of ice cold water...to the face.
"Ow! Damn it Uzumaki, what the hell is wrong wit' you?" Aki grumbles at me from her place on the floor, having collapsed there after I hit a pressure point on her stomach. Luckily for both of us, I was still slightly weak from the attack two days ago and couldn't do much in the way of strength.
I tip my head in a slight bow and watch the water run down my hair to puddle in my lap as she regains the use of her legs with a bit of medical jutsu and stands.
"I apologize Shihiru-san, however, you should never splash a trained killer with ice water while they are sleeping and expect them not to react accordingly." I murmur, raising my head to look at her. I wince as she grins and claps me on the back, hard, rubbing a towel over my head quickly to dry it. That hurt, I swear sometimes this woman didn't know her own strength.
"Psh, trained killer my foot Uzumaki! You still a genin, ain't nothing gone be 'trained' or 'killer' 'bout you 'til ya hit Chunin!" she replies jovially, motioning for me to stay still as she takes the three IV needles from my arm. "An' I told you to call me Aki, none of that Shihiru-san junk, ya hear? Makes me feel old."
I nod again as she removes the heart monitor from my chest. The sudden flatline is an interesting sound that a patient hooked to it doesn't hear often, of course, they wouldn't want to, because that would mean that the Shinigami is quite near.
"Well boy, yer good t' go! All healed up an' pretty again, not the mess you were when they brought ya in. You know youse was turning a really pretty shade of periwinkle blue?" she booms, laughing at her own joke as I let a small smile cross my features. "Innywho, as per hospital procedure, I hafta take you out in a wheelchair, so get dressed while I go an' find one."
She steps outside the door, leaving me to struggle into my favorite blue shirt, coming back in about ten minutes later with a wheelchair and a man carrying a box under his arm trailing behind her. Kotimo Sosuke was an interesting man, he was anything but a standard doctor with his bright green hair, purple tinted glasses, and barbell piercings through his nose. He was sarcastic, witty and generally an asshole when you didn't know him. Mind you, once you got to know him, he was quite...eccentric, still an asshole though and blind as a bat without his glasses.
"Hey Uzumaki-'san', had enough of picking on my best nurse?" he asks with a grin, I can't help but smirk in reply.
"Believe me Kotimo-san, I have had enough of this entire hospital. Bedrest is unpleasant."
Sosuke laughs, Aki helping me into the wheelchair. He plops the box in my lap and goes around to grab the handles of the chair, Aki following beside me as he pushes me out of the room and down the hall to a waiting Anko at a sedate pace.
Aki bends down to hug me and I try my hardest not to pull away. I would think of this as training, I'd force myself to become used to touch. Sosuke smiles and pats me on the shoulder.
"Now we don't wanna see yew back here fo' a good while, ya hear kid?"
I nod at Aki, Sosuke nodding in agreement to her words as he pushes me outside, Anko coming over to help me from the wheelchair.
:Konoha Streets:
"Well kid, thanks to you getting your ass beat I've been stuck eating ramen for two days straight. To my dismay I've found that 'nothing' compares to your cooking and that it's quite addictive." Anko tells me as we walk the route to our apartment building.
I crack a slight smirk at her words, nodding.
"I would be delighted to make breakfast for you Mitarashi-san. I do hope you have a taste for Portobello Omelets and strong Juran Country coffee today." I tell her as we ascend the staircase and go out on our floor. The breakfast idea didn't just come off the top of my head, it was apparently very popular in Southern Hi No Kuni, Aki had given me a recipe book to read while I was incapacitated. She told me that the trick was to add mint leaves to the coffee grounds as they brewed.
"Sounds wonderful, anything besides coffee and 'shrooms that I'll need to pick up while you get settled?" she asks, opening the apartment door and ushering me inside.
"Hai, please get a few packages of cinnamon, sage, and curry spice as we are running quite low I believe. Also, pick up a small container of milk and a medium sized wedge of spiced white cheese." I tell her, she nods, shutting the door while I walk over to the dining room table to examine the contents of my present, finding the aforementioned recipe book, as well as a summoning scroll and three medical scrolls that I'd never seen before.
Hm, Makyuu Ookami Summon, Using Medical Chakra Offensively, Living and Dead Chakra: Creation and Their Uses, and Breakthrough: A Way To Live Forever?.
Interesting, seems Sosuke and Aki weren't just your standard medics after all. I already had their trust it seems, now all I needed to do was keep it. I believe they'll be coming to dinner sometime next week, in fact, I'd go and pen a quick letter right now.
:Court Room:
After breakfast, to my great annoyance, I was bade to go down to the village courts so as to bear witness and press charges against my former teammate. Apparently the standard charge for attacking and fatally injuring your teammate to the point of incapacitation was death, as it was considered a form of treason, but with my 'unique' healing ability, the Council and Sarutobi couldn't quite decide wether to kill Hiroshi, strip him of his rank or simply probation him, so they left it up to me. I looked at it from an impersonal angle, yes, he had severely injured me, but that in turn had gotten me some very valuable scrolls and the trust of two of the most powerful medics Konohagakure No Sato had seen since Senju Tsunade herself. On the other hand...he 'had' severely injured me, I could be in a coma that I would never awaken from right now.
What do you think tenant?
I listen for a bit, mentally nodding at it's suggestion, smiling on the outside.
"I have a suggestion, is it possible for me to own him? Perhaps as a permanent servant?" I ask, ignoring Hiroshi's bewildered glare from his bound position in the chair at the center of the room.
The Council and Sarutobi's shocked faces don't phase me in the slightest as I sit back and wait for their approval. Jin Homura, one of the defunct leaders of the Civilian Council and a retired shinobi, speaks up first after rifling through a large tome of laws.
"There's no law against it." she frowns, shutting the book and nodding. "I will approve."
One by one the Civilian Council and the Hokage approve the vote, leaving the Clan Council to break the tie.
"Normally it would be disgraceful for a Hyuuga to be a mere servant to one outside his clan, but he is not a true Byakugan user as well as disowned, thus, I approve." Hyuuga Hiashi states, looking down at Hiroshi with something akin to disgust. I close one eye in confusion, pondering Hiashi's words, the other scanning the remaining members of the Clan Council.
Yamanaka Inoshi, a mind jutsu user and member of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio.
Hyuuga Hiashi, user of the Jyuuken arts and Byakugan.
Nara Shikaku, user of the Shadow Manipulation jutsu and deer herder, also a member of the famous trio.
Aburame Shibi, user of bug related jutsu, has a hive of bugs stored in his body that feed off chakra.
Inuzuka Tsume, user of nin dogs and beast related jutsu.
Akimichi Chouza, user of the Body Size jutsu, makes medicine using the filed antler powder of the deer the Nara Clan raises, final member of the famous trio.
Uchiha Fugaku, user of the Sharingan and fire jutsu.
They all agree to my proposal and the boy is pulled from the chair by his shackles, the ones around his feet being loosened slightly so that he can walk. One of the waiting interrogation squad members brings him over to me, placing the long chain to the shackles in my hand as I turn to bow to the Council and Sarutobi.
"Arigato, are there any rules regarding treatment that I should be made aware of?" I ask, clasping my hands behind my back and ignoring Hiroshi's angry mutterings.
Sarutobi shakes his head, an unrecognizable emotion in his eyes. I hoped it wasn't disappointment, I couldn't bear for him to be disappointed in my actions.
"We turn a blind eye to what people do with their property. You can rename him and do whatever else you like as long as it's not in public. Any alterations, bruises, wounds or anything else of that kind upon your servant will be treated as though they were always there." Here Sarutobi stops, closing his eyes with a sigh. "Anything that you do cannot legally be put against you because he is your property."
I nod, gesturing for Hiroshi to follow me as I exit the courtroom.
:Anko's Apartment:
It was quite some time before we actually got back to Anko's, having had to stop by the Sealing Hall and have subserviant seals placed on Hiroshi as well as go by the market to pick up a bushel of large Granny Smith apples and some flour for a pie recipe I wanted to try tommorrow. I had taken the shackles off of the elder boy, he was currently carrying the apples and flour while I dug out the key to the apartment and let us in. Anko was out on a dango and sake run, while she was convinced I could cook everything else to perfection, she had grown accustomed to her third and seventh night runs. I couldn't complain, those were the days I didn't have to cook. Not that I didn't enjoy it mind you, but it was quite nice to have a break. I motion for Hiroshi to put his burden on the kitchen table and he frowns, but does as I ask. He didn't have much of a choice actually. The seals placed on him were tuned to my chakra signature alone, any order I gave had to be acquiesced to as quickly as possible, lest he suffer the consequences of insubordination. I was also quite able to activate the failsafe on a whim, I figured I would have plenty of time to teach this ignorant child the meaning of vengeance.
"I am changing your name, Hiroshi-san." I tell him, gesturing for him to sit at the table, he does so with great reluctance, glaring daggers at me. I returned his gaze unflinchingly, also, to those of you who wonder why I still talk to him with respect. It is only my nature to keep the suffix, I am nothing if not polite you see. "You may glare all you like, but henceforth from this day you will be called Jikken Dai." 1
Dai's eyes go wide in shock as he processes the meaning of the name, lunging at me with his hands outstretched, presumably in another attempt to asphyxiate me. We shall never know however, since I decided at that exact moment to test the effects of his seal.
"Ireru." 2
His eyes go wide as he stops in his tracks, dropping to the floor like a sack of potatoes as he arches his back in a similar way to a live carp just chopped in half on a cutting board. He writhes in was I assume is pain, beginning to clutch at his throat and head where I can see the seals glowing an interesting shade of whitish blue. He looks up at me as I calmly grab the handle of the broom, starting to sweep the kitchen floor, and gasps out a plea for me to cease the actions of the subservient seals.
"Kai." I murmur, stopping the seals effects. Dai gasps, curling up like a pillbug for a moment before shakily getting to his feet. I poke him with the broom stick. "Also, your form was incorrect once again. You left your entire body open, I could've injured you in thirty different ways before you even broke my field. Now, Dai-san, if you please, finish sweeping the floor, I have something to attend to. Once you're finished, come directly to my room, which is the second door on the left across from the bathroom, and do not touch anything along the way. Understood?"
He nods, taking the broom out of my hands and beginning his task as I make my way down the hall. I needed to prepare the room I had set up. I had decided to start my tests earlier than planned, since I had gotten ahold of Dai and could legally do anything I wished to him and not be indicted. I had begun experimenting with expanding and shaping the storage space inside of scrolls to my will when I was four. None of the caretakers at the orphanage could ever figure out exactly what had happened to John, the boy who used to annoy me the most. He was the first of my experiments within the storage space, he turned out so warped from the treatment that I had no choice but to kill him. I believe his bones are out in the forest somewhere still, assuming something else hasn't come along in three years and eaten those as well. Dai would be a suitable candidate for what I wanted to undertake now, it would be interesting to see how his system would react to my tenant's chakra.
Maybe...I could even activate his bloodline...
Notes of the Footed Kind
1. 'Jikken Dai' (jikkendai) is a japanese term meaning 'experiment or test subject'.
2. Ireru means 'to turn on'.
Anaki: -wonders if anyone finds the title of the chapters familiar-
RC16: Probably not, you know they're slow.
Anaki: Yep, you're right
RC16: Of course I am.
Anaki: Not always.
RC16: -sigh-
RC17: Always sighing big brother! Review everyone!