Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Lies I Told Myself

Key

S.S: Sick Shit (not suitable for the weak-minded or squeamish)

thinking

"talking"

thoughts progressing into speech"

'substitute for italics' (in certain places, like emphasizing something)

/telepathy/

:scene change: (more for my reference than anything else)

POV (automatically Naruto's if left unspecified)

Summary: I was a cold, callous individual. I was sarcastic and witty, not a pleasant person to be around. I cut you down with biting words every chance I got and smiled so frighteningly that I made children cry. I was, simply put, an asshole. I never cared what you thought of me. And one day I got bored, so very bored, so I decided to snap.

A/N: I'm getting lots of people adding the story to their alerts (and that 'does' make me happy) but not many reviews. I'd really love to know what you think too, you know? I believe Konohamaru will be making an appearance this chapter.

Break away

From the bonds

Hold up your hands

To catch grace

Sadly

It

Slips

Away

Knaji

Chapter Seven: Tell Me What I Already Know

:Training Ground Seventy-Four:

I 'really' abhor children. Now I realize you may think that I am a child too, which, of course I am. I can never lie about that fact, but I just consider that a trial of physical age. Mentally I am probably far older than you could imagine.

Children are just that, children.

They act like children, carefree, happy, idiotic. Blinded by things that are so meaningless that they learn absolutely nothing about the real world. One such example are the boy and girl a few feet away from me. Momoiro is so infatuated with Karasu that she can't better herself so that she'll actually be of some use when the time comes. Meanwhile, Karasu has his head so far up his rectum that he's choking on it, nevermind the foolish thoughts about killing his brother. Psh, when golems fly. 1

I could already tell that they wouldn't make it to the Chunin exams with me either, I'd have to remedy that when the time came.

Ah, there's Kakashi, the man that barely passes for a Jounin instructor. How irksome.

"Good morning!" he chirps at us with a smile. I just look at him calmly while Karasu glares and Momoiro screams.

"You're late! We've been waiting for three and a half hours!"

Kakashi has the nerve to grin through that insufferable mask of his and come up with an excuse about and old lady and her cat. I was not going to stand for this idiocy. I refuse to be stuck as a Genin any longer than needed, I'd been waiting patiently for too long.

"Hatake-san." I say, waiting until he looks my way. "It is terribly rude to keep the Genin that you are supposed to be teaching waiting on their 'teacher'. That is disrespectful to us and a waste of our time that could be better spent honing our individual skills. You told us to be here at a certain time and we acquiesed, while you did not. I regret to say that if you are late again I shall report you to the Hokage, whether you are my teacher, superior or not. We are going to be the future protectors and breadwinners of this village, we cannot do that if you are laying around for three hours or more when you yourself have deemed a time that should be agreeable to both parties. If you cannot be here on time, then I suggest you reschedule promptly and send messengers to us. Otherwise, we have the right to request another teacher in your steed. Now are you going to get this survival training over with or are we getting a new teacher?"

Kakashi, Momoiro and Karasu blink, stunned, as I finish my speech with a small amount of sarcasm. I frown, staring hard at the masked Jounin, waiting for an answer.

"Well...let's get to it shall we?" he replies, his visible eye revealing his emotions. He was angry at the disrespect, yet thoroughly cowed as well.

Good.

I listen as he explains the rules of the bell test and sigh, so simple this would be.

"I can't believe you talked to sensei like that!" Momoiro hisses at me later as I lounge in a tree, catching the bell in my hand over and over. Surprisingly, the girl and the boy had listened without question to my small strategy and we obtained the bells with minimal effort.

"It was needed, Momoiro-san. Would you like to wait an extra three hours to learn how to protect your village? We are only so lucky we're in peacetime at the moment."

"My. Name. Is. Sakura!" she grinds out in reply, before getting a thoughtful look on her face. "No, I wouldn't, but that doesn't give you-"

I yawn, cutting her off as I jump to the ground.

"Maa, maa Momoiro-san, you are long-winded. I'll be going home now for dinner now, growing boy and all, you know? Sayonara."

I begin to walk away with a slight smirk on my features.

"My name is Sakura! Haruno Sakura dammit!"

Ah, children.

Simple minded little fools.

::Konoha Streets::

"Ah, Neko-sama! How wonderful to see you! And how are you feeling today?"

The kitten purrs, rubbing against my leg. I pick it up and hold it in my arms, rubbing its soft tan fur and plucking the ugly magenta ribbon off of its neck. Animals were the only innocent things in the world. Thus, during my cleansing, they (along with a few decent humans) would survive.

"Do you want to come home with me, Neko-sama?"

The kitten mews, looking at me with bright green eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes."

::Hokage's Office::

Sarutobi

Naruto was a bright boy for his age, at age eight he had proved able to cure a myriad of "uncurable" diseases. Hyuuga Hinoe's cancer and Gekko Hayate's lung disease were two such ones. He'd also figured out a way around the chakra/body fat draining final technique of the Akimichi clan, improving it significantly, simply by reading some of the documents from the Great Shinobi Wars.

I knew he would go on to do great things, but I couldn't help but worry.

Sometimes the look in his eyes was just to much like my old pupil's, I really don't think I could kill the boy if I had to.

I knew he had kidnapped Noriko Fuji, the main orphanage caretaker, and a shop stall owner some odd years ago. I'm sure he knew that I knew, but I neglected to say anything about it. I'd watched him do some of his experiments on Hiroshi and Noriko, watched his face change from anger to delight as the life drained from the caretaker and the shop owner, and thought how he must feel he was getting some form of retribution for his treatment in the first few years of his life. I knew the scrolls Kotimo Sosuke and Shihiru Aki gave him were dangerous in more ways than one, but I figured with his knowledge and chakra levels, they would be no issue. I was correct.

So I let it continue without a word, Noriko had been due to retire soon anyway. The civilians were of no consequence, neither had families to inquiry as to their whereabouts. I couldn't say I felt terrible about it.

Even now as I watched him petting and fussing over that troublesome cat, I had to smile.

Perhaps there was hope for him.

"Hokage-sama?" one of my secretaries ask, knocking lightly the door. I quickly put the crystal ball away and call for them to enter. She steps inside, bowing low. "Uzumaki Naruto is here to see you."

"Ah, send him in please."

"Ohayou, Sarutobi-sama. Are you well?" I ask, tilting my body so that the kitten sitting on my shoulder doesn't fall as I sit in the chair. I can't help but crack a smile as she jumps down into my lap and curls up to sleep.

Sarutobi is amused as well.

"I'm doing alright, what about you Naruto-kun?"

"Quite well Sarutobi-sama. I simply came to visit and to ask a few questions."

"Oh?"

I nod slowly, stroking the soft fur of the kitten in my lap.

"I will not throw a fit because I trust your judgement, but I still wonder, why that particular team and instructor?"

I watch as Sarutobi steeples his hands together and thinks on a suitable answer for a bit before straightening up and replying.

"I thought that they could learn from you. They have only seen Academy fighting techniques or their families fighting style, which will not help them in the real world at this stage. I guess I thought that with all the training you've been through that maybe they would pick up a bit of something from you and develop it within their own style into something productive."

I nod in understanding, those children 'would' need every edge they could get if we ever got into a true fight. That didn't mean I would make an active effort to help them though, unless they asked. Politely.

"As for Kakashi, well, I knew you wouldn't stand for his lateness at all. He actually came earlier to complain about being reprimanded by his own student. It was all I could do not to laugh while I told him to mind what you'd said. I do believe he'll be on time from now on."

Good. It wouldn't bode well for him at all if he were to continue shirking his duties as an instructor.

"Thank you Sarutobi-sama, I am glad that you could clear that up for me. Also, I have a recipe I'd like for you to try..." I pull out one of my storage scrolls and release a large container from it. "Anko-san doesn't care for swordfish at all, but I remembered you saying that you hadn't had any in quite a while last time we talked, so I took the liberty of looking up something in one of my recipe books. I found a recipe for swordfish steaks and added my own touch to them, I hope you will enjoy them."

I watch surprise go across his face as I set the container on his desk, then he smiles sincerely.

"Thank you Naruto-kun. I have a feeling I will be eating quite well tonight."

"You're welcome Sarutobi-sama, now, if you'll excuse me." I reply, standing up at his nod and bowing, the still sleeping kitten ensconced firmly in my arms. I turn to go when the door suddenly flies open, a small boy of about six or seven wearing an odd helmet with a smiley face on the side and long scarf about his neck running into the room.

"Grandpa, I'm gonna be the next Hokage!" he exclaims in mock-gruffness before tripping on his scarf. I watch Sarutobi wince in sympathy from my peripheral vision. He scrambles to his feet, pointing at me angrily as a man dressed in black with dark glasses on stumbles into the room. "You tripped me!"

I simply shake my head at his accusation as the man begins shouting at him.

"I apologize Warai-san, but you tripped on your own scarf. Perhaps you should wind it tighter?" 2

"How dare you talk to him like that?! He's the Hokage's honorable grandson!" the man yells, turning his attention towards me.

I frown at the man's rudeness, watching Sarutobi palm his face into his hand silently.

"I do not see how my manner of speaking to Warai-san was disrespectful as I most assuredly do not know his true name. However, your manner of speaking to me is quite rude. Should I make note of that, sir?" I reply, lacing my words with iced sarcasm.

The man is taken aback by my tone and I can tell that he would love nothing more than to attack me.

"Also, you're not a very good babysitter, seeing as your charge has escaped you once more."

I watch as the man looks around frantically before rushing from the room once more, screaming for the boy.

Imbecile.

"Sayonara Warai-san, Hokage-sama. I hope you enjoy your dinner." I murmur as I walk to the open door with my kitten safely in my arms.

"It's Konohamaru! Ko-no-ha-ma-ru, baka!" he finally screams after me as he comes out from behind Sarutobi's chair. Ah, teasing children was so fun.

I walk past a wooden fence on the way home and get to the middle before I sigh.

"Warai-san, camouflage only works when it is positioned the correct way. In this case, yours is sideways, not upright, as it should be." I tell the boy as I stop in front of his shoddy disguise.

"I should've known a great ninja like you could spot my camouflage easily! Grandpa said you are a great ninja, said you're gonna go on to do great things, I want to be Hokage someday so I need to be able to do great things too!" he exclaims, throwing off the fake cloth to look at me with annoyance. I inwardly sigh, already knowing what was coming. "And it's Konohamaru!"

I nod to him, starting to walk again with him at my heels.

"Why do you want to be Hokage, Warai-san?"

He doesn't even react to his nickname for once, growing silent for a time before speaking up.

"I want to be recognized for my name, not just as the Hokage's grandson. Everywhere I go it's always that I'm his grandson, never that I'm just Konohamaru."

"So what do you want of me?" I ask, already knowing what's to come.

"Would you teach me?"

"How do you know that I would be a good teacher?" I ask, though I already had plans if he could prove useful.

"Well, Grandpa said..."

I cut him off.

"And if your grandfather said I was the best in the village would you believe him?"

I watch as the boy struggles with his answer before answering the question for him.

"No, you wouldn't. No matter how strong someone is, there is always someone stronger, more cunning, more powerful. I could be beaten by any number of shinobi currently in this village but do I let that stop me? Of course not. If I am going to teach you anything, you must forget everything that you have ever been taught. Anything you have learned that sounds biased, is. Anything that you have learned that looks wrong or doesn't seem to function smoothly? Trash." I stop for a moment, watching him. He seems to be hanging onto my words. Good. "Now do you still want me to teach you, or would you like to go back to learning useless things that will get you killed once you go out into the field?"

"I want you to teach me!"

"Why?"

"I...I think you could teach me better than...than Ebisu."

Not the answer I was looking for, but decent enough.

"You'll do everything I tell you?"

"Yes sensei."

"No complaints?"

"None sensei."

"If I were to awaken you at 3 am to train, you would not whine?"

"No sensei."

I smile, shifting the kitten to my left arm for a moment while I grab his hand and shake it, having my chakra burn the proper seal into his signature. It would assure that he would not speak a word of what he would learn in the times to come.

"Good. I expect to see you tomorrow at 2pm sharp at Training Ground Seventy-Four."

"Hai sensei!"

::Laboratory::

"Dai-san, you realize I am elated to see you, don't you?" I ask him as I enter the lab, liberating his Chakra form from its shell and not expecting a response. "I will be making more modifications to your temporary body today and the research I have come across is simply amazing. Did you realize that just a small bit of copper wire conducts electricity? No, of course you didn't, you're slightly dimwitted, hence your current state. The copper wire will be useful in a fight against a Kumo nin. Understand Dai-san? Ku-mo." I tell him as though speaking to a small child.

I lay his body down onto the table and open the ventral cavity once more, watching as Dai floats around in front of me angrily. He was flashing red and everything.

"What's the matter Dai-san?" I ask before looking down to Maki, who was purring and rubbing against my leg. "Do you not like kittens? I don't see why, they're simply wonderful to be around."

He manages to get out something that sounds vaguely like a curse upon my non-existant family, I honestly couldn't tell with his current lack of vocal chords.

Oh well.

I begin to hum as I remove the remaining organs from the body and place them aside for now before packing a tightly coiled steel rope into the space formerly occupied by the stomach. I sew his ventral cavity back together before taking some sheets of skin off of his face, placing small coils of copper wire into the spaces of the body's upper cheekbones and doing the same to the backs of his hands and the soles of his feet. I wind more copper wire up through his arms and legs to connect the wires, soldering the ends underneath his feet to thick iron sheets with cleat spikes to dig into the ground.

I would run currents of electricity through him later today and take note of where the burns formed, then add more copper as needed.

"Hm, I wonder..." I say to myself, temporarily numbing the nerves and stopping the blood flow to my own legs with medical chakra after I'd lifted myself to one of the empty tables. "Noriko-san, wash your hands and come here if you will."

She soon comes skittering out of one of the back rooms with her hands still dripping. I immediately take control of her body via chakra strings, making her put on gloves, form chakra knives onto her hands, and then come over to the table. I watch as she begins cutting my left leg into three sections, then does the same to the right. I begin to hum my favorite russian tune as she removes the bone from the bottom two sections of my left leg and replaces them with a chain of Living Chakra.

"Wonderful." I murmur as she puts sections back together and my tenant heals them, Noriko incorporating the remaining Living Chakra into the skin of my leg so that I can bend it at will. "And, of course, the other leg now."

She begins to whimper and fight my hold, I jerk violently, giving her head a hard twist.

"You'll do as I say Noriko-san, or I will remake your form into something so grotesque that even I will not let you see the light of day ever again. Do you understand me?" I tell her, a steel edge to my voice as I give her a hard glare. She doesn't reply so I jerk once more. "Well?"

She still doesn't reply and it's then that I realize I've broken her neck in my anger.

"Oh well. It appears I'll have need of finishing this myself."

I let her body drop to the floor, she would be redone later, healing my leg for a bit before forming a clone to assist me in finishing my experiment.

"Alright Naruto-san, you can see the lines from the previous work are still there, so sever them straight through please."

Dai

I hated this kid. Honestly and truly hated him. It didn't matter that I felt better than I did in my entire life in this form. It didn't matter that I didn't have to do anything except float around poor, unfortunate Noriko to eat. Now she was dead, the only person I had to talk to was gone, killed because he was angry and didn't know his own fucking strength.

I hated him.

This bastard of a kid with his mocking smiles, sarcasm and fake politeness. I couldn't believe that he'd been Rookie of the Year when I'd first met him. Hadn't believed it when I'd beat him up either, however much of a fluke that was. Not only did I regret it later, when I thought I was going to die for treason, but then they actually allowed him to keep me as a servant. Stupid fucking council, what kind of village doesn't have laws against slavery? I mean what the hell?

No wonder this kid is getting away with kidnapping people in broad daylight. Everytime he comes back in he has something or someone, today it was a kitten. A poor innocent little furball. I thought he was gonna turn it into something grotesque like he did to Noriko, but he just let it run around underfoot, even nudged it away from some of the more dangerous things in here with a smile on his face.

I looked at Noriko's body on the floor, frowning with non-existant features as I go over to her. I could see my reflection in the mirror, I was blue.

I was blue and I couldn't touch her, couldn't at least shut her eyes.

Dammit Noriko.

You treated me like your son.

Even though we were both prisoners in this hellhole.

Even though we were both experimented on to the point of no return...

I am gonna get revenge for you.

That lil' bastard's gonna die.

Another day with children.

Sigh.

At least Kakashi was on time.

"Alright! Glad everyone's here!" he tells us with a grin as he puts away his book. "We have a mission!"

Oh joy, we probably have to whitewash another fence.

"Tora, the Fire Lady's kitten, is missing!"

He holds up a picture of the very kitten I found yesterday.

No way in hell were they taking 'my' cat.

Especially not after I'd trained her to chase Dai around, very amusing.

Sakura

Naruto was a really odd kid. He managed to wrap sarcasm in politeness and pull it off like it was nothing. He also had an odd way of speaking, I'd never heard a kid younger than me use such formal language when speaking to anyone. He was acting like he was better than us and that pissed me off. So he graduated the Academy when he was like seven, who cared?

He wouldn't tell us what his crappy 'experiments' were on or what they were for. I wouldn't think he'd achieved half of the shit he'd said he'd done if it weren't for the fact that I'd spied on his training one day. He was good, better than good, and awesome with that sword at his hip.

Too bad he was an asshole.

"Hey Naruto, you seen that cat anywhere yet?" I ask into my headset quietly as I scan the underbrush for a sign.

"Negative, Momoiro-san." his voice crackles through my headset.

Oh yeah, then there was the unwanted nickname issue.

"It's Sakura, dammit." I whisper quietly, only to hear him chuckle through the headset.

Sasuke

I hate that kid. He walked along like nothing bothered him. I knew he'd known my brother before he'd left the village but he would tell me nothing. Itachi hadn't talked about much before he'd killed everyone, but I remember him telling me about a blonde kid with sky blue eyes one day and saying that if he were just a bit older that he'd follow him and no one else. Said the kids knowledge was unbelieveable. I hated hearing about him then and I hate having to see him every day now. It hurts to know the person your brother held in high regard wasn't even family, but a lowly foreign commoner from god knows where.

He had power, which I wanted, no needed, to kill my brother. I told him, demanded that he teach me. He should teach me, I was the last Uchiha, I had a goal I needed to reach and he should be practically tripping over himself to help me.

Psh, what do I get instead?

'I'm sorry Karasu-san, but I refuse to teach you until you realize your behavior is unacceptable for a shinobi.'

My behavior?

Stupid idiot, I'd beat the snot out of him in our spar later today, then he'd see how wrong he is and teach me everything he knows.

...And I'm 'not' a freaking crow.

Ah, D-rank missions, the bane of Genin. Lazy villagers not wanting to do anything and a village too afraid to at least give us simulated missions.

No wonder so many new Chunin die in the fields. Not from lack of proper training, just inexperience. Foolish.

Whoever invented this system for the military was severely touched in their head.

Kakashi had finally let us mark this mission as a failure due to inability to locate the target.

I had to laugh.

"Alright Warai-san, tell me what you know about chakra." I tell him as I come into the training ground and take a seat on a fallen log. He comes over to sit in front of me before reeling off the standard Academy definition. "Good, now do you know anything about chakra manipulation?"

He shakes his head and I smile.

"Find your chakra first, when you think you have, tell me. Then we will begin the next step." I tell him and he shuts his eyes to concentrate while I begin subtle modifications to the Living Chakra chain, spreading it to the bone in my other arm and drawing out some of my own medical chakra to disentegrate the bone itself and leave the chain intact.

It hurt significantly, but nothing would ever compare to the pain of summoning hellhounds, so I didn't complain.

"I..I think I found it sensei."

Good.

Now the fun could begin.

Notes of The Footed Kind

1 . Karasu means 'crow' in Japanese. As you can see, Sasuke has a new nickname too.

2 . Warai means 'smile, sneer, laughter or laugh' in Japanese, in this case Naruto is referring to the frowning smiley face on Konohamaru's helmet.

3 . If you want to hear what he was humming go to Youtube and search for Old Norvegian gipsy tune by tinkadog.

Anaki: Alrighty, whoo, new chapter. I had fun with this one.

RC16: I'm sure.

Anaki: Yep, and I've got a job! Yay!

RC16: Where?

Anaki: McDonald's, it's actually pretty solid, but I hate fast food and the customers are rude sons of-

RC16: You can't say that on tv!

Anaki: What? Britches?

RC16: Nevermind.

RC17: Haha! I hope everyone likes this chapter! Shoutout to Johnhamsta, we tried to incorporate many different POV's this chapter and will continue to do so. Hopefully it'll go more smoothly next chapter.