Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club nor make any profit from them. I don't own the lyrics to Surrender by Billy Talent nor make any profit from it.

Surrender

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Surrender every word, every thought, every sound

"Hikaru!"

He had ran out of the hospital right after Kaoru told him that he was sorry. He knew what that meant. Not only did he say that he was sorry. No, he also told the older Hitachiin to cross over. He wasn't ready yet. Even though he knew that he had someone to wait for him across the bridge, he wasn't ready to leave the paradise that they built. Kaoru was going to lock him out. That was obvious. What wasn't, was that Hikaru had a stalker. Not a stalker really, but someone was following him. He didn't feel like turning around to face whoever it was, but he did feel like stopping for a while. He was about three streets away from where he left Kaoru, three streets and already was thinking.

"Hikaru." Something warm was placed on his shoulder. He knew by the feel of things that it was a hand. A comforting gesture. He glanced behind his shoulder to see bright around eyes that were watching him, worry was in her eyes. It was that much. He didn't like seeing the pain etched in her face, but he knew that it wasn't because of him. It was because of what happened.

"Your mad at Kaoru aren't you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. An understatement anyway.

"Mad? No. Confused? Yes. Upset? Yes. Not mad." Hikaru corrected.

"Confused about what?" Haruhi asked.

She couldn't hear the conversation that had went on in the room since she was blocked off by soundproof windows. But she was witness to what happen. Hikaru looked away and bowed his head down. "Kaoru...he basically told me to get lost out of his life."

Silence greeted this answer. "And this is confusing how?" Haruhi asked.

"Why kick me out now? He told me I'm not there for him anymore and that I'm an Outsider. That's something we didn't want to be." Hikaru didn't respond to Haruhi's question. Possibly because he didn't want to answer the question.

Surrender every touch, every smile, every frown

Haurhi looked around at the street that they were on and spotted a bench that was nearby, she lightly pulled Hikaru over and sat down on it, and waited for him to catch on. Blinking she was surprised to see how fast he had sat down. He needed a break, that was for certain.

He looked so torn apart at what Kaoru had said. Haruhi didn't know what else to do, but to fallow him and made sure he didn't follow the same fate his twin did. His head was bowed down and his eyes were staring at his knees or possibly the ground beneath his feet. Wherever his was looking at, his eyes held a pain that Haruhi could tell was desperation, confusion, regret, sadness, and fear.

She bit her lip and lightly placed her hand at his lap, making him glance up over at the girl that had stayed with him. Most of the girls would give up and his stubborn act, and ingored them. She didn't leave. Why? "Why didn't you go?"

"Its obvious your in pain, and you need someone to hear you out." Haruhi explained as a couple of cars went by.

Hikaru blinked in surprise and then gave her a look. Was this really what she wanted? To stay with him and hear him complain about what Kaoru did to him? Why he was so messed up to what his brother said? She honestly wanted to hear his point of view? "Why do you want to hear me out?" He asked thinking this was some sort of trick she was playing.

Surrender all the pain we endured until now

"Because I might be able to help you sort out something." Haruhi said. "You did say you were confused right?"

"Yeah," Hikaru said blinking. She heard him? She heard what he was basically muttering to himself, and remembered? He was almost in complete shock. Even though Kaoru had called her an Outsider like some of the other people in the world, no all the people in the world. Hikaru was always called the Insider. They were the only Insiders. "Kaoru told me that I'm an Outsider to him because not only am I with you..."

"He says you weren't there for him either." Haruhi finished.

"Yeah."

Haurhi sighed and then said, "You guys fended for each other, and protected one another that you don't know how to go to anyone else for help. You must have did something to rub him the wrong way."

That hurt and stung. If words couldn't hurt then he was just burnt by acid. Yep, words could hurt and do more damage then they do heal. Then again, if one was hurt by words, couldn't one by healed by words? He looked at the cross-dresser host and said, "I didn't listen to him when he needed me."

Haruhi frowned as she heard this and looked away from Hikaru as if she was lost in her own thoughts. She could understand why the younger twin accused him like he did. "You were thinking about something weren't you? Distracted?"

"Sadly."

"And he came to you for help?"

"And I didn't listen."

"You both need mental help then."

That made Hikaru's head snap over to the cross dresser. "What?!"

"I said both of you need mental help. Its obvious. You guys can't keep watching the others back, you guys need to learn to come to other people for help. Yeah sure all of us has a lot on our plate and you don't want to burden us with the simplest things, but its always the avoidable that does the most harm when ignored." Haruhi explained to him. "You said you didn't listen to him and maybe his problem could have been something like...oh...um..." She thought for a minuet and then said lamely, "advice that was simple."

True, it could have been that, but why didn't Kaoru just come out and say it? Was he so absorbed in his thoughts that he only managed to hear what he said last? The only part of the conversation that he could remember: "Even though you're standing right here and looking out the window, I'm still cold and alone because I don't have anyone. I never will anymore. Just spend a little bit more time with me, before you cross over Hikaru. Please?"

"He told me that he doesn't have anyone." Hikaru said slowly. Then he palmed himself into his forehead groaning at the thought. He figured it out. He didn't just want him to listen and to comfort him, he didn't want to /lose/ him like he just suggested. He didn't want him to go over to the Outside yet. He wanted the paradise to be open to them longer, and now...it was to late.

"He does now." Haruhi told him.

Hikaru looked over at her.

"That girl that was in the room with him. The one that told you to go in. He has her." Haruhi didn't even bother looking at Hikaru as she said this.

Surrender all the hope that I lost, you have found.

"Do you think he'll go to her more often then?" Hikaru asked.

Haruhi shook her head. "No, but it does opens his eyes a little to know that he still has his friends that opened the gate a little."

"A little?"

Was Haruhi really that blind? They had worked through laughter and sheer pranks building that wall up. It took hard work and a lot of encouragment to keep it up. And it grew stronger, and stronger as the years, months, and days went by. Every day, and every minuet the gate grew a little thicker, the lock a lot more harder to break, and lot more harder to find the key that they threw away. It took everything they had just to make that gate.

Everything they did to build it though, was in vain. Kaoru was going to keep it up for the longest he could. He was going to keep himself locked away in the paradise and away from the Outside. It was going to be sheer blood to make Kaoru get out of the paradise his brother and himself made.

"Well," Haruhi frowned. "Possibly not a little. But you know what I mean. Everyone of us opened the gate you guys locked yourself in at least a little. Just a little so you didn't notice."

"We noticed when you found the key to the lock and opened it." HIkaru told her sourly.

"I'm dragged into this because this is the first time someone found the key yes?" Haruhi didn't wait for a reply, "You and Kaoru are scared. You want to get out, but don't. You want to see what its like, but think its safer being in the haven you made. You want to learn what the outsider is like, but you don't want to lose the other in doing so. In other words Hikaru...you guys are scared of losing each other. A irrational fear if you know what I mean. Yet you guys made into such a big deal...that its happening. The thing you feared the most...is happening."

Surrender yourself to me

Hikaru bit his inner lip. She was right. He leaned back against the bench and Haruhi moved a little closer to him. Yet that didn't mean he had to like it, but she was right. They things they feared did come true because they exaggerated it so much. It was true that he cared about Haruhi and about Kaoru, but if he had to chose between the two of them, he would step back and say no. He couldn't chose between life of the Outside and life of the Inside.

They were safe in both places as long as one had a guide. He'd bring Kaoru around again. He would do anything to get his twin brother to come along. If it meant tearing down the gate just to get him to come along, that's what Hikaru would do.

A twin wouldn't be a twin without the other around. They never were without the other and they weren't going to start now. Even if Kaoru believed himself to be in the Insider and not the Outside, Hikaru would make sure he would have him fooled. He knew that he might be rushing this a little too much, but he was going to make time do its job.

Right when he got out on the other hand.

A whole new story.