It had been a month since they had passed. Even so, I still expected them to be home. Yesterday, I had walked downstairs to get some help on Physics to find that the lab was dark and still. I sat on the bottom step for an hour, waiting for tears to fall. When that didn't happen, I became angry at myself and felt guilty enough to eat an entire pint of chocolate chip cookie dough. Right now, I was sitting at the kitchen table finishing off yet another pint of ice cream. Fudge brownie this time. Pepper walked into the room and straight to the fridge.
"Do you find if I grab a little something? I had to work through my lunch break today." she asks.
I scrape my spoon around the bottom of the container and don't even bother to look up. "Go for it." I reply in the monotone that had been my voice ever since I got the news.
"This leftover pizza looks good." she decides. Silence. "Beth? Why is there an entire container of moldy bacon in the fridge?" she asks, and this time I turn around.
I set the empty carton and spoon on the table and watch it tip over, a little dribble landing on the wood. I was afraid to answer. Afraid that if I explained, I would cry. Afraid that I would cry and wouldn't be able to stop.
"Beth?" Pepper asked again, a little more firm that the first time. I ignore it. "Beth?" she asked, louder this time.
The answer begins to spill like a waterfall, gushing out of me before I could control it. "Because I couldn't bring myself to eat it!" I yell, my voice breaking. "Because I promised I wouldn't finish it without them!" I began sobbing, grabbing onto the edge of the table for support.
"Beth, it's expired. I have to throw it away." Pepper says and starts walking to the trashcan.
"NO!" I scream. I run over and grab the package out of her hands, my emotions taking full control over my body. I hug the bacon to me. "You can't! Because they're gonna walk through that door and wonder why I ate it all! I PROMISED!" I half-yell, half sob, the anguish straight from my soul. I fall to my knees, curled over the package as if it was the reason to keep on living.
Pepper kneels down next to me. "Not a day goes by where I don't miss them." She replies, and I hear her voice catch. But you can't keep an expired package of bacon forever. They wouldn't want you to give bacon up for good, I don't believe. Do you think we could throw this particular package away?" she asks in a soothing voice.
I give up and slide it out from under me. "I'm so, so sorry." I whisper as I hear the package drop into the bag and the clang of the lid as it closed. She sighs and walks away. I get up from the ground and head to my bedroom, crawling under the covers with the plan of sleeping forever.
I was popping into each of their rooms, looking for something cushy to sleep with in my own bed. Natasha had a red blanket, Clint had a purple pillow, Steve had an American flag pillow, Bruce had a green blanket, Thor had a giant navy blue pillow, and Tony had a gold blanket with what felt like the highest thread count known to man. I replaced my bed covers with all of their stuff. It made me feel at least a little better. Not that I am getting better. I don't cry anymore, but living in the tower we used to share doesn't exactly help you move on.
"Miss Beth?" Jarvis asked. "Director Fury is in the kitchen wishing to speak with you."
I sigh. "Thanks, Jarvis. He couldn't even knock…" I say and trudge into the kitchen to find Fury sitting on a barstool drinking a cup of coffee. With Clint's mug.
"Hello Fury! Please, come in. Can I get you anything? Water, Coffee? Okay, Coffee it is! Here, use Clint's mug. I bet he won't mind. Oh wait, he can't. He's dead." I narrate quite sarcastically and sit down next to him. The man doesn't even blink, just pushes the mug away.
"Beth, I have some news I wish I didn't have to give." he starts.
"I think it's safe to say I've had my fair share of bad news." I say matter-of-factly.
"Due to multiple government regulations, you are not allowed to live here by yourself like you have been doing for the past month and a half." he says.
My mouth falls to the floor. "No. I can't leave." I protest, but it sounds more like resignation than I wanted it to.
"I have no choice." Fury replies, his voice tinged with guilt. "You are required to live with your next of kin." he explains.
My stomach turns. I can't go back. "I can't live with her. I can't." I being to say, choking up. "The Avengers were the first real family I ever had. Fury, please!" I beg, grabbing onto his trench coat, tears falling.
He doesn't flinch at my touch. "I'm truly sorry Beth. There's nothing I can do." He explains and steps off the stool, walking toward the door.
"Fury, don't go! Please! Don't make me live with her!" I plead following him.
He pauses for just a moment before whispering a haunted 'I'm sorry…" and slips out the door.