James' P.O.V
We had just finished making love; I was currently cuddled into Kendall's shoulder trying to fall asleep when I heard him say.
"I love you too James…and I always will"
Kendall sounded hurt I could tell by the way he held me, I knew that I was being difficult about the situation, but come on how would you feel if you were being kept a secret for three months? NOT GOOD! I felt so bad that I was making Kendall feel like this, I couldn't help it though everytime I thought about him with her it makes me sick. To think about her hands all over my Kendall sends me into a rage and after that I'm in my room ignoring Kendall's calls, listening to a sad love song while crying my eyes out. A thought popped into my head, one that I really didn't want to think about.
"Kendall…can I ask you something?" I ask as I looked up at him
"Sure babe…what is it?" Kendall asked me as he pulled me closer to him
"When you and Lynn get done sleeping together…do you hold her like you hold me?" I asked knowing I was going to go into a rage and take it out on Kendall…I may be the 'girl' in the relationship but I am one scary submissive.
"No James I don't hold her like I hold you…because we never sleep together" Kendall said as he kissed my hair "I've never slept with her…you are the only person that I've slept with and you're the only one that I want to sleep with"
"Oh" I said as I got off the couch, I heard Kendall sigh
"Jamie…let's not talk about her ok?" Kendall said as he wrapped his arms around me
"I don't want to…I really don't, but I have all of these thoughts in my head and-"I tried to say but couldn't due to Kendall's lips on mine. When we pulled apart I smiled and hugged him
"I love you Kenny" I said
"I love you too Jamie…now why don't we eat and later we can snuggle and watch a movie" Kendall said as he nibbled on my ear lobe
"Ok…sounds good to me" I said while giggling. The rest of the night consisted of pizza, movies, kissing, touching, and finally sleeping…well that was until I had to pee and seen that Kendall was gone. I got up to see if Kendall was in the bathroom…he wasn't I started to panic I started down stairs and then I heard him…I heard him on the phone and by the tone he was using I knew it was Lynn.
"Lynn I'm not coming over" Kendall said annoyed
"No Lynn…it's like three in the morning why you're still up I have no idea" Kendall said as he sat down at the table
"Lynn you stay horny…yes I know I'm your boyfriend" Kendall said as he rolled his eyes
"Yes…I promise we can spend the whole day together tomorrow….I love you too goodnight" Kendall said as he hung the phone up. I couldn't believe what I heard he was going to ditch me tomorrow…on our four months anniversary! And what made it even worse was he just told Lynn he loved her…that made me break I went back up stairs tears streaming down my face, I crawled back into bed and hugged my pillow and cried. I was up for the rest of the night…and Kendall never came back to bed once morning came and I got up I found him in the kitchen.
"Hey sleeping beauty about time you got up" Kendall said as he kissed me
"Yeah" I said as I sat down
"You are feeling ok?" Kendall asked me
"Just fine" I said in a somewhat snappy tone
"Wow ok….um mom called me and she needs me to go with her down to my aunt's house for something" Kendall said as he took the toast out of the toaster. I couldn't believe he was lying to me
"So you're trying to tell me that you're going to be gone all day" I said as I sat down at the table
"Yeah…Jay I'm really sorry" Kendall said as he walked closer to me
"Doesn't matter…I'm going back to bed" I said as I stood and started walking to the stair case, Kendall grabbed my arm and made me look at him.
"Jamie please don't be mad at me" Kendall begged, I couldn't stand there anymore I just turned around and walked to my room. As soon I shut the door I locked it I walked over to my bed and started to cry all of these thoughts came to my head, if Kendall was lying about being with his mom all day then what else could he be lying about? I cried myself back to sleep; I knew I had a lot of thinking to do this weekend I just hope that I can make the right decision.
Time Skip One Week Later after School in Boy's Locker Room
It had been a week since Kendall and I's four month anniversary pasted, I had been avoiding everyone my mom, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall. I just needed to be alone I didn't want to deal with anything, and that's what was starting to scare me the last time I got like this I tried to kill myself and to be honest I was starting to feel that way again only this time it was for a different reason. Even though I felt like this I knew what I had to do, that was break up with Kendall it was apparent that he wasn't going to leave Lynn, and I'm so tired of hurting, so tired of crying, I'm just tired. Before I break up with Kendall I need him one more time, just one more time to remember how he feels, as I'm thinking about this I feel someone touch me on my shoulder I jumped ready to kick whoever it was….and it turned out to be Kendall.
"Hey….I didn't mean to scare you" Kendall said as he looked at me
"Its fine" I said as I turned back around to finish packing my gym bag
"Jamie why have you been ignoring me?" Kendall asked with hurt in his voice
"I haven't….I've been busy" I said as I zipped my bag up
"Jay I know your lying….you've been avoiding everyone…your starting to scare me" Kendall said as he walked closer to me
"I'm not lying….there's nothing for you to be scared about" I said as I tried to get past him, but he stopped me and looked me right in the eye
"James I'm being serious you're acting weird" Kendall said
"I'm perfectly fine Kendall" I said, which was a lie I wasn't fine…far from it I didn't feel anything, I was numb it was like nothing fazed me anymore. I looked at Kendall and I knew I had to get it over with.
"Kendall…make love to me" I said in a voice just above a whisper
"What? Here…now?" Kendall asked me in shock
"Yes…I need you now" I said as I laid on the bench, I looked at Kendall as he leaned down and kissed me, he asked for entrance to my mouth, once I granted him the permission he started to map out every inch of my mouth making me moan. Kendall left my mouth and started to take my shirt off, once off he kissed my neck while he played with my nipples, he twisted and pulled at them making me arch up into him he slowly made his way down my body, stopping at my pants he looked up at me and I nodded giving him permission to unbutton them. As he pulled my pants and boxers off he licked his lips as he looked at me, he started to go for my cock but I stopped him.
"Your wearing to many clothes" I said as I started to pull his shirt off, finally once I got him completely naked I stared at him taking my time to remember every last detail about him. Kendall leaned in and started kissing my neck again biting and sucking then he made his same path down to my cock leaving bite marks behind, he took my entire member in his mouth and deep throated me, it felt amazing after a few minutes of this I was shaking from the pleasure…then a few minutes later I cried out in pleasure and in pain. The pain I felt was nothing physical it was mental, it was hitting me this was the last time I was going to be with Kendall, the last time we would make love, Kendall looked at me and smiled he gave me three fingers to suck, once he deemed them slick enough he inserted one inside of me it hurt for a minute, but then it started to feel good soon he added another then later another soon I was fucking myself on Kendall's fingers. After I was prepared Kendall lined himself with my well stretched hole and pushed in, once he was fully inside of me he started to move first he kept a slow pace, but then I wanted it faster.
"K-Kendall harder….faster" I moaned in his ear
"Jamie you feel so good" Kendall moaned as he started going faster. Once he found my prostate he angled himself so he would hit it everytime.
"Ahh K-Kendall f-faster…p-please" I moaned
"Gonna cum in your tight little ass" Kendall said as he started fucking into me…if that was even possible, I started to claw at his back. If he was lying about him and Lynn sleeping together she was going to know that I had him first. I dug my nails into his back; I clawed until I felt blood under my nails I was going to make him remember what he was losing. Kendall was getting close as was I…after a few well placed thrust we came, I tried to hold back the tears but they came anyway…Kendall was the only one that could make me feel this good, but he was the only one that could hurt me this bad too and then it hit me, this was really it…it was really over. As Kendall pulled out I stood up and started to put my clothes back on, Kendall looked at me with confusion written all over his face…guess it was time to break it off.
"Kendall…I-I want to break up" I said as hot tears ran down my face, Kendall's face paled as I said this.
"James…no please I promise things are going to get better" Kendall said as he started to move closer to me
"You keep saying that but….but things aren't better Kendall and they never will be" I said as I wiped the tears from my face
"Yes they will James…I-I can't lose you please give me another chance p-please" Kendall begged as his tears started to fall
"Kendall this is the best thing for me…your not going to break up with Lynn and I can't be your secret anymore…it hurts to much….I-I can't trust you" I said as the tears continued to flow
"What do you mean you can't trust me?" Kendall asked in confusion
"I mean…you lied about being with your mom…it was our four month anniversary and you was with Lynn…I heard you on the phone with her the night before" I said as I pulled my shirt over my head.
"James I can explain" Kendall begged, I could hear the pain in his voice….which hurt me even more
"There's nothing to explain Kendall…I'm making it easier on all of us…you don't have to pick anymore I give up…she won" I said as I picked my gym bag up and started walking towards the door, before I opened it to walk out I said "I should have never came back" and with that I walked out with tears streaming down my face. As I made it to my car I saw Lynn and her friends standing at Kendall's car, she had a nasty look on her face I ignored it, I wasn't in the mood to care about anything. Once in my car I looked up and saw Kendall standing in the doorway of the gym with tears running down his face, he looked broken and for doing that to him I was sorry, but Kendall could be fixed Lynn was the one to do that…me on the other hand I was broken beyond repair. As I pulled in my drive way I sat there for a moment, once I finally gathered myself and made it to my room I locked my door and laid on my bed, I was crying so hard that it hurt to breathe, my evil thoughts started to come back they swirled around in my head and I didn't have the mental strength to fight them.
So watcha think?...wonder why Lynn had a weird look on her face?...well the next chapter is going to be awesome…r&r Thanks :)