A/N: here you go all. next chapter. this one was kinda rough for me to write. you'll see soon enough.
Disclaimer: I dont own Inuyasha, or the lyrics to the song "Dearest": thats all Ayumi Hamasaki, n whoever else helped her write the song. (its a beautiful one tho)
Summary: Inuyasha is presented with a one-time opportunity – to become a full demon. With his childhood years, not to mention the first ever reason for hunting down the Shikon Jewel in mind, his choice seems apparent – a no-brainer. But there's a catch. Becoming a demon will mean giving up the life he knows now. In fact, only he will remember his life as a hanyou, while others will now only know him as Inuyasha the youkai. Is he willing to give everything and everyone up?
Chapter Sixteen
Inuyasha shook his head. He wouldn't have it. He glared at his brother and yelled: "You shut up Sesshomaru! You just shut the fuck up! Kagome will make it, okay! She has to!"
Just then, Kagome began to cough. Inuyasha watched in horror at the amount of blood she choked out. Once she stopped, her whole body shook violently, and tears spilled over onto her cheeks.
"Inu…yasha…."
"It's okay Kagome, I'm here." Inuyasha said as calmly as possible. "I'm not leaving you."
He ripped the sleeve of his shirt, and tore it into narrow strips until they reminded him of the bandages Kagome used to wrap around him. Trying his best to remember how Kagome used to bandage him, he attempted to wrap her own wound to prevent anymore blood loss. He frowned when he couldn't get it over her shoulder as nicely as he wanted it to.
She chuckled weakly. "I guess…I was…a bit better at that….than you…"
He gave her a small smile. "Yeah. You were."
He tore some strips and applied it to her wound, then knotted it as tight as possible without causing her more pain. Then he picked up her frail body and cradled her in his arms. He stood up, and she clenched onto the front of his shirt tightly, her body shaking again. Her face was paling, and her breathing was ragged. Inuyasha's heart squeezed painfully. How was he supposed to save her? Was there anything he could do?
Then, remembering his brother, he realized there was a solution.
"Sesshomaru." Inuyasha said, facing his brother. "When Kagome passes, I need you to use your Tenseiga and revive her."
Sesshomaru looked at Inuyasha skeptically. "Tenseiga?"
"The sword Father left you? Tenseiga? It brings people back from the dead, remember?"
"Father never left me with a sword." Sesshomaru stated. "Had he leave you with one?"
Inuyasha looked at his brother in utter confusion. Of course Father left him a sword! He left them both a sword: Sesshomaru got the Tenseiga and he….
He stopped, realizing immediately that as a youkai, he didn't get a sword. Tessaiga had been made for him as a half-demon, not as a full one. And if Father wasn't going to leave a sword for his youngest son, he wasn't going to leave one for his eldest. Especially since the reason he had had the swords made in the way they were so that they would be fitting in his eyes to each brother – Inuyasha's own a device to protect him from demons who didn't accept him, and Sesshomaru's own to teach him compassion. Not to mention, it had been said that Sesshomaru had received Tenseiga so that he couldn't kill Inuyasha with it.
But now Inuyasha was a youkai, and Sesshomaru had no desire to kill him anymore. In this time, Tessaiga had been found by a couple of wayward villagers and brought under Kagome's care. And he had no idea of Tenseiga's whereabouts at all.
Fuck. What do I do now?
"Had he?" Sesshomaru was still waiting for an answer.
Inuyasha shook his head, dejectedly. "No."
"Then what's this talk about a Tenseiga?"
"Never mind." Inuyasha said. "It doesn't matter now."
Sesshomaru glanced at Kagome, then looked back at his brother. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah." Inuyasha held Kagome closer to his chest. "Me too."
Then, without another word to his brother, he turned to leave, heading towards her village. It was his only now. The humans had to have some form of medication or…something that could help Kagome. Surely they wouldn't let their beloved priestess die….
"Inuyasha…" Kagome said weakly.
"Don't over exert yourself Kagome." Inuyasha said tenderly.
"Please…please don't take me back."
He stopped. "What?"
She shook her head. "Don't take me back. Not yet. I…I don't want my family to see me like this…"
"Kagome. They can take care of you at your village. They can help you recover from this."
She shook her head again. "Inuyasha, I'm not going to survive this. The damage is too severe."
He frowned. "Yes you will."
"No…I won't."
Fury coursed through his veins. "Yes you will, damn it!"
She looked up at him sympathetically. "Inuyasha, please don't be angry. I don't blame you. This isn't you fault."
"Oh…but it is,isn't it Inuyasha."
Inuyasha turned around to see Ryoko Mujin walking towards him. Immediately, an angry growl left his throat. Gently, he set Kagome on a section of soft grass, before turning to face the kuro miko.
"What the fuck do you want." He demanded.
"I just came to see how my fantasy is playing out." She said with a smile. Glancing at Kagome's pale body, her smile grew. "Perfectly I see."
"Your…fantasy?"
"Oh Inuyasha, surely you knew you wouldn't be able to live a free life as a youkai with Kagome hanging around, did you?" Mujin said carelessly. "I knew it. And since I'm in control of what happens in this life, I made it that this girl would pass."
Inuyasha felt his youkai raging inside him. "You what?!"
"Come now Inuyasha, don't–" But her sentence was broken as Inuyasha lunged towards her, clamping his arm around her neck.
"You fucking bitch. You made it that Kagome would die." He squeezed her throat tighter, and she started choking. "I should tear you limb by fucking limb, you old fucking hag."
"Let me go you dog!" Mujin choked out.
"Not on your fucking life." He said menacingly, tightening his grasp even more.
Mujin struggled a bit more against his hold, then became completely still. Then, suddenly, Kagome started to wail in pain. Inuyasha turned around to see her reaching at her throat, as if trying to fight off something attacking her there. It didn't take long for him to put things together, and he immediately let go of Mujin, who was now chuckling on the ground.
He rushed to Kagome's side. "Are you alright Kagome?"
"I couldn't breathe." She said, trying to get her breath back.
He turned a stony glare back on Mujin. "Why don't you get the fuck out of here? Leave!"
Mujin smiled and curtseyed. "As you wish Inuyasha. Don't worry, you'll get over her soon enough. Then you can really start living your youkai life."
"Get the fuck out of here!"
Mujin disappeared into thin air.
"Fucking hag…" he murmured under his breath. Then he turned back to Kagome. "How do you feel now Kagome?"
She coughed, then looked up at him with a pained expression. "Not good." She managed.
"Just relax, okay? I'm going to pick you back up, and we're going to go to your village."
She shook her head. "I want to stay here…with you."
"We can't. If you stay here Kagome…you'll die." He shook his head, frustrated. Then he added in a voice full of emotion: "I can't let you die!"
Hontou ni taisetsuna mono igai
Subete sutete shimaetara
Ii no ni ne
Genjitsu wa tada zankoku de
Kagome smiled up weakly at him. "Inuyasha…don't try to control things you have no power over. It's my time to go."
"No it isn't. This is my fault."
"I don't blame you."
"But–" Kagome shushed him, cutting off his sentence.
"Just…hold me. Stay here with me and hold me."
He nodded, and slowly brought her back into his arms. She winced a little in pain, but then she snuggled in his chest. He held her closer.
Sonna toki itsudatte
Me wo tojireba
Waratteru kimi ga iru
Ah- Itsuka eien no
Nemuri ni tsuku hi made
Douka sono egao ga
Taemanaku aru you ni
She looked up at him. "Smile Inuyasha. Don't let my last memory of you be this miserable face."
"How am I supposed to smile Kagome?" he said, his voice pained. "You're going…you're…."
She shook her head. "It'll hurt at first. But you'll be okay. You're strong Inuyasha."
He shook his head violently. "I won't be okay Kagome. I don't know how I'll survive without you. I need you."
"You won't need me forever."
"Of course I will! I'll need you forever and a day."
Hito wa mina kanashii kana
Wasure yuku Iki mono dakedo
Ai subeki mono no tame
Ai wo kureru mono no tame
Dekiru koto
She smiled weakly again. "I love you Inuyasha."
"Oh jeez Kagome," he said, his voice trembling. "Please don't talk like that yet. I really can't handle it."
She giggled to herself. "Is the great Inuyasha going to cry?" she teased.
He chuckled lightly at her words, but he couldn't lie. "Maybe." He murmured.
She giggled again. "Aw, you care about me."
He finally managed a smile. "More than you know."
Ah- Deatta ano goro wa
Subete ga bukiyou de
Toomawari shita yo ne
Kitsuzuke atta yo ne
"You know what else I remember Inuyasha?" Kagome said.
He noticed her voice was becoming strained. "Please don't overdo it Kagome."
She shook her head, ignoring him. "I want to tell you….what else I remembered."
"What is it then?"
"I now know why the pink lily is my favourite flower." She gazed up at him. "You gave it to me on our last night together. You gave it to me and asked me…not to forget you."
He half-smiled again. "Yeah I did."
"I think that's why I remembered some of the past Inuyasha. I think my love for you back then wouldn't let me forget it all. That's why I remembered some."
His smile grew slightly. "I'm glad you remembered Kagome."
"Me too Inuyasha."
She arched her back, leaning towards him. He tucked a hand underneath her head, cupping the back in his palm, and kissed her gently. It was an innocent kiss, the need to plunge tongues in each other's mouths unnecessary. They stayed like that for a long time, savouring each other's touch, until Kagome gently pulled back from him. She smiled, and Inuyasha had to smile back.
"I love you Kagome." He said.
"I love you too Inuyasha." She murmured.
He took her hand and clasped it in his own. He brought it to his lips and kissed it before placing it against his chest, stroking the top of her hand with his thumb.
Ah- Itsuka eien no
Nemuri ni tsuku hi made
Douka sono egao ga
Taemanaku aru you ni
She inhaled deeply. "Don't forget me." She whispered.
"Never." He said earnestly. He kissed her hand again before placing it back on his chest. "Don't forget me."
"Not again." She promised with a smile. "Never again Inuyasha."
He looked at her face as it cleared of all pain and turmoil, finally reflecting a peaceful expression. Her eyes closed, and she let out a long exhale. Suddenly her hand felt weaker, and her body went limp.
He looked at her in disbelief. No, not now. "Kagome?" he whispered. No response. He shook her hand gently. "Kagome? Kagome?"
Nothing. She simply laid there, still and silent, with a small smile on her face. Reluctantly he checked for a pulse. None.
In painful shock, he dropped her hand and leaned over to listen to her chest. No heartbeat. No! No, no, no, no, NO! "Kagome!" he said louder. "Kagome, please wake up! Please!"
He couldn't resist shaking her shoulders, wishing he could bring the life back into her. She just moved lifelessly with his motions. Nothing about her demeanour changed. He stopped shaking her, unable to move anymore. He stared at her peaceful face, tears welling in his eyes.
"Kagome…." He said weakly. "You can't leave me." He pulled her closer to his chest until he could feel her nose pressed against his frame. "Please…don't leave me…."
But it was too late. She had already left. She had already gone to a better place, and left him behind.
His body trembled, as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.
Ah- Deatta ano goro wa
Subete ga bukiyou de
Toomawari shita kedo
Tadori tsuitanda ne
"Oh Kagome…" he murmured quietly. "I need you already."
A/N: well there you go. this chapter was reeli emotional for me. i had to keep getting up from my computer just to compose myself. i think its the song. for those who dont know, "Dearest" is the third ending theme song for Inuyasha, n the song is beautiful. (if you've never heard it, you all need to look it up online, listen to it, then read this again. if the emotion didnt catch you the first time, it wont miss you this time around)
anyway, hope you liked it. plz review
Love 3