Warning: This piece is River/Mal/Inara; if that doesn't float your boat, please hit the next button for more regular River/Mal goodness.
Prompt: River/Mal/Inara, post-serenity, he doesn't know what he was thinking when he agreed to this relationship.
Timeline: Very slightly pre-relationship
Addition
"Sorry, you're wanting me to do what?"
Mal's always liked Inara's shuttle well enough, even if it does tend to make him a mite uncomfortable, but at this particular moment he'd rather be anywhere on the ship but here, facing down two women who've just made him one hell of a request.
Inara glances at River, a small smile on her face. "Well, you see, Mal...River came to me for an education in the sexual aspects of life, which I was happy to provide-"
"What happened to your policy of not servicing crew?" he can't resist asking, but she continues right on like he hadn't said a thing.
"-but there are certain activities that require a man, and after some discussion, River and I agreed that this would be the best choice."
"So basically the two of you are just wantin' to use me for my dick then? I ain't your stud horse, you know."
Inara raises her eyebrows. "Well, we could always ask Jayne, if you'd prefer."
He's about to go off into a rant involving heavy use of the phrase hell no when River steps right up in front of him, close enough to touch.
"Not just about possessing the proper equipment," she tells him, glancing back at Inara before continuing. "She wants all of you, heart and mind and feelings. And so do I," she says, looking him straight in the eye. "Three make a triad, the basis of harmony. The equipment is a nice addition, though." And then her hand's gone to a place he never thought to have River's hands on, and wo de ma, he knows this is a thing it ain't right to be doing, but he's a man and not a preacher, after all.
Hours later, when he wakes up smothered in a cloud of dark hair, he wonders what in the 'verse he's gotten himself into; on the other hand, there's definitely one or two things here he could learn to love, lying warm and curled up in his arms.