A/N Well hello there! I know, I know it's been a while since I've updated this but I haven't really been in the mood to write such depressing work, I've been in such a good mood lately that its hard to write a broken Jasper! But I thought today I would give you all chapter four! Thanks for all my amazing flowers and reviewers you guys really keep me going anyway see you at the bottom! :D
Chapter 4
Savior
Bella's POV:As I walk to Emmett's Jeep I touch my lips with my cool fingers to sooth the sting from our kiss. Our lips touched and I floated off the ground, no one was there anymore. I've dreamt of this moment forever and I have no regrets I just hate the circumstances that brought me to do it. Now that I have I notice a subtle pull in my chest as I walk further away from him. Once in the truck I pull Emmett's hoodie from the back seat and tug it over my head. The arms are way too long and I am literally sinking in this jacket but it has the most comforting smell in the world, the smell of my big teddy bear. I'm much in need of my big brother right now. While I'm driving I sink deep into the hoodie and my mind starts thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't found him. Would he lay there forever with no savior? Will he ever find the peace he needed? As I'm driving the pull in my chest turns to pain. I desperately need him. The tears have yet to stop and now they're falling so hard I can't see the road. I blink them away but they return. I will be is savior. I need to get a hold of myself, be strong for Jasper. I'm different, I'll be there for him for every second through recovery and why he figures out what the emotion thing is. I'll be the best damn savior for him until he wants me to leave.
I pull into the drive way parking by Emmett's girlfriend's red BMW. They've been together since the ninth grade and she's just become my sister overnight. The Pioneer stereo Em installed in is truck informs me that it's just after two in the morning. I sit in the Jeep for twenty minutes trying to get myself to calm down before I face my family. I'm not crying any more, think I've cried myself out of tears. But I am still hyperventilating. I am just so scared that I'm going to lose him. Yes, he's okay now but tell that to my heart. It's physically painful to be away from him and I don't understand it. I take my iPod out of my backpack and leave the bag in the Jeep. I'm over reacting to this Jasper thing more than I should for just a school girl crush. But when we lock eyes, I swear he feels the same thing, it's like we were born only for each other. Our kiss confirmed it. I finally convince myself to go inside. Em is laying on the couch with Rosalie laying on top of him; he's holding her while they sleep. Charlie is fast asleep in his chair and every light in the house is on. In the kitchen half of a pizza lay in its box on the kitchen table. I turn all the lights of and kiss my dad and Emmett on the cheek before going up stairs to the shower.
I turn the shower on extra hot and look at myself in the mirror to pull the bobby pins and ponytail out of my hair I notice that I look like shit. My eyes are puffy and my bright red cheeks are stained with dry tears. I need music. I dig my iPod out of the hoodie pocket and plug it into the speakers sitting on the counter. I take the contacts out of my eyes and put them in their case.
"Sweet music take this pain away," I mummer and press play on Cold by Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz. Really not the best song to get my mind off of Jasper but I sing along with her anyway until I calm down a little bit. "Crimson and bare as I stand, yours completely, yours as go over. Sing for the lion and lamb they're hearts are hunting, still hunts for hope. Ever and ever. Ever. Cold, cold." I sing sniffling. The pain grows stronger with every passing minute. I need him, does he need me? Or am I just crazy? Stepping out I dry myself and lay in my bed letting the stack of blankets crush my body. I think exhaustion finally takes over to the point where sweet sleep takes over around four in the morning. I jump out of my bed two hours later due to my alarm clock. "I'm up!" I growl ripping the clock out of the wall and throwing it across the room. I push myself up so I can lean against the wall. I reach over to grab my glasses and I slide them up the bridge of my nose. I stretch over to grab my phone but I realize I threw it in that alley in the middle of the night. I see his limp body in my mind and the pull in my chest is so powerful that I can hardly move but I need to be strong for him. Tears start boiling over my eye lids again. I blink them out of the way and take a deep cleansing breath and they don't completely fall.
Convincing myself I am strong enough to stay together I go downstairs still in my pajamas, I have no intention of getting out of my sweats today. I pull my hair out of my face in a big knot on the top of my head with the hair tie that was on my wrist.
"Morning Bells," Emmett welcomes with Rose sitting by him on the couch warming her hands with a mug of coffee.
"Hey," I answer but my voice is scratchy. Em gets off the couch and walks over to me. I finally loose the battle with my stubborn tears and one of them trickles down my cheek. Before I can stop it he pushes the fresh tear off of my cheek and then takes me into a tight embrace.
"Look, he's fine Bells. If you didn't find him he would be gone. You're seriously a hero, his savior," He says while cradling me. But his comforting embrace is not enough to sooth the pain in my chest. Only Jasper.
"But I still remember what his face looked like when I found him in an alley in the middle of the night. I thought he was… I thought…" I stammer off, sobs escaping my mouth.
"Don't say it. Don't think about it. He's not. He's here and he's okay." He kisses the top of my head. I try to open my mouth, but no words come out so I just nod accepting the fact he is right and Jasper is okay.
"Where's dad?" I ask finally finding my voice.
"Already off to work. He had an early shift he couldn't get out of. He told me to tell you to stay home; I'll call you in from school." He answers.
"Okay," I sniff. I am overly thankful I don't have to face people today, I just couldn't do it. I head to my room when Rose stops me.
"You should try to eat," she says quietly.
"Not hungry," I answer and head back to my room. I slip into my bed when my house phone starts ringing. Growling, I throw pillows over my head and close my eyes but he's there. Someone knocks on my bedroom door and then comes in. They pull the pillow off my head and it's Emmett. He gives me the phone.
"It's Alice," He whispers covering the phone. I nod and take it from him.
"Hello?" I answer trying to cover up the tears that were earlier escaping my eyes. But I can't hide anything from Alice.
"You're crying," she states.
"Yeah. What do you need?" I snap.
"I just wanted to see how Jasper was doing, how you are doing. Your phone goes straight to voice mail every time I call it."
"Well, I lost my phone. I feel like my heart as completely cracked in half. He's still in the hospital though. I just wish he was home and not in pain." I mumble. "I want to comfort him; I want to be there with him right now. This is not his fault he just needs help." I vent.
"Are you going to go see him?" She asks.
"Yes!" I scream before I thought about it. "I mean I'm not going to school and I can't sleep. I thought I'd go see him." I backtrack. She knows how I feel about him but I never told her how much I liked him, how much I desperately need him.
"Oh, okay. If you see Edward will you tell him to call me or something? He hasn't been answering my calls or texts. I need to make sure he's okay."
"Yeah, I'll tell him."
"Call me later, okay?" she asks.
"Sure," I say then hang up. I'm really not in the mood to talk. I just need to go to the hospital, wrap Jasper in my arms and make sure he's okay the pain is just too much. I can't take it anymore.
I get up and go to my bathroom to get Emmett's Jeep keys off of my counter and go downstairs.
"I'll be back. I need to go see Jazz," I tell Em before leaving. I don't even change out of my sweats or put my contacts in. I never leave my house with my glasses on but I don't care what I look like. I only want Jasper. Staring the truck I realize what I had just said. I need to go see Jazz. Edward is the only one who ever called him that. While it is true, I need to go see him, I'd never admit that to anyone. I need to see him like the air I need to breathe. It seems like hours before I reach the hospital's parking lot. I actually run inside to the front counter.
"Can you tell me what room a patient is in?" I ask the lady with tears in my eyes. It hurts to be away from him for this long. It physically hurts. I don't know what room he's in because they took him out of the ER after I left last night.
"What's the name?" she asks with a comforting tone. But the only one who can help is Jasper. I need him to ease this pain; I need to make sure he's okay.
"Jasper Cullen," I plead. She types his name into the computer slowly and the pain in my chest is growing stronger and stronger, so overpowering I just can't take it anymore.
"Cullen? Like Dr. Cullen's son?" she comes to realize who he is.
"Yes," come on lady I need him; he needs me. This is not time for twenty questions. I don't have time for this shit; just tell me where he is.
"He doesn't want anyone up there, but from the tears in your eyes I can tell you know the family. Maybe I can call him down here and you can talk to him?" she suggests.
"Please, my name is Bella." I state. She nods and steps into the glassed off office.
"He's in room 197. Dr. Cullen said to go up," she says offering a smile.
"Okay, thank you so much." I skip the elevator and run up two flights up stairs and down the hallway until I'm at the door of his room. I stop for a second with my hand on the door knob to catch my breath and then I step in. Carlisle and Esme are surprisingly not in the room but Edward is curled in a ball in the corner of the room with a blanket draped over him and a pillow tucked under his head. Even in is sleep his forehead is crinkled in worry. Jasper has his back towards the door and his body his shaking. I run up to him and before I know what I am doing I place my hand on his back in between is shoulder blades.
"Jasper?" I whisper but he doesn't move. Keeping my hand on his back I walk to the other side of the bed and push his honey blond curls out of his face. He has ear buds in his ears and now I can hear the music. He's blasting some form of angry music with a lot of bass and drums. I play with his hair longer and his shaking cools down. A few minutes later he finally opens his eyes. His icy blue eyes pour into my soul and just like that the pain from the pull in my chest is gone. I am complete but then I notice he's been crying.
"Bella?" he cries.
"Oh, Jasper," say whipping his tears off his face, prickly from his blond stubble. I take the ear buds out of his ears gently and grab the stool from behind me so I can sit right at his bed side. The pain returns from his broken face and falling tears.
"Shh." I coo while rubbing the underneath of his eyes.
"You came back," he states.
"Always, I will be here for as long as you need me cowboy." I confess.
"It hurts," he closes his eyes and whispers.
"What! What hurts?" I ask panicked.
"When you're not here." Jasper admits.
"When you're not with me, it hurts too. So bad, Jasper. When I came here today it hurt so bad I could hardly move. But had to come make sure you were doing better." I acknowledge.
"I'm better now that you're here." He murmurs as his eyelids flutter open.
"Me too," I grab his hand to hold it close to my face and close my eyes. Everything is gone; it's just me and him.
"Nothing," he sighs. I open my eyes and his are closed; he has a smile on his face which brings a smile to my face.
"Nothing," I agree for some reason knowing completely what he means.
"Come here?" he asks he opens his eyes and his arms inviting me in.
"Are you sure?" I don't want to hurt him.
"Yes, I desperately need you as close to me as I can have you." He confesses. So I'm not crazy; he needs me to. He carefully scoot over in the bed making room for me. I crawl on to the bed and he helps pull me up. I lay on my stomach with my head resting on his chest. Jasper takes my glasses off and sits them on the table next to the bed and he wraps his muscular arms around my body to hold me tight. I'm in my own little perfect blissful piece of heaven.
"So good," he whispers into my ear then brushes his lips through my hair.
He played with my hair until his breathing evened, sleep took him over. I stayed in his hold on top of him until I fell asleep on his chest. The pain is completely gone. I'm never leaving him again.
A/N well there ya go! What'd ya think? Leave me a little love with a review if you want and until the next update, thanks for reading!