I AM SO SORRY GUYS. I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHOLE MONTH- I was actually in the middle of rewriting chapter one (I was working backwards) when I was struck with writer's block. I didn't mean to make you guys wait for long. BUT I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS GUYS! Summer school is ending soon for me so that means more writing time~ YAY

Well you heard me; you might want to reread Fool's Gold since I'M DONE ALL THE REVISIONS YAYYY! Well actually I might go back and do it again in the future but I just want to get this story over and done with.

haha, so I hope you guys like this chapter~

Suffocating.

I felt like I was being dragged down, chained by heavy weights, heavy words, as I drifted further down the currents.

Help.

I can't breath.

I found myself clawing at my throat as I tried desperately to search, to call for help. But all I was met with was a deep blue.

The chains had given one more yank and it was like all the air was being taken out of me. Suddenly, I was descending down in a twisted spiral as the waters stained a murky red- as if someone had dripped blood from above and I watched in horror as the poison started inflaming my throat. A hot flame making its way down into my stomach and I withered in pain.

Screaming.

I tried to cry for help so many times... only for bubbles to escape and for more poison to find its way into my throat. Here, no words came out, only the haunting screams of sirens and the static sound of someone's diabolic laughter echoed mockingly in this dark ocean.

I've never felt pain worse than this. I was crying and sobbing; letting my body go limp as the pain enveloped my body. Embracing my senses and squeezing onto them like a parasite.

Stop it.

Please stop.

It burns.

It

burns

No one had moved an inch the moment her body met the ground, she won- that was all that mattered to them, that was all that was supposed to matter to them. But then, she fell and not one of them knew what to do.

She wasn't on the same level as them, it was a known fact; it was just a pity chance that the master had ordered her to replace the young lady for the day.

And she fell.

Sting didn't know how to react as he watched the medics collect the bodies of the three mages, didn't know what to think as the announcer gave Sabertooth points for winning the so called death match. He knew that she would win, he was confident in her skills- hell, he was the one who mentored her during their days off! He knew her abilities.

And he knew she was holding back.

He wasn't stupid, he noticed how much she was holding back every time she was faced with a fight against the mages of L'arc Sibyl. It was strange, and entirely not his business.

But Lilian Evan.

The information was beginning to haunt him; ever since he and Rogue stumbled upon that girl wandering around the Domus Flau, it felt like the pieces of a puzzle was starting to finally fit together. He recognized the name right away once the female dragon slayer gave her last name to them- Lilian Evan was pretty famous a few years back, when the core members of Fairy Tail were still MIA and L'arc Sibyl was starting to rise in favor of the council. The white dragon slayer had always wondered why Lily looked familiar- the incident with the tight corseted one piece only confirmed his suspicions. But he was never one to make accusations early.

He would be lying if he said he never wondered who she was before she got the animal lacryma planted in her- it was an illegal practice after all. Most victims were either kidnapped or sold into it for underground experimental purposes.

Behind him, he heard things being punched and kicked angrily. He heard Rufus murmuring under his breath, heard Orga growl in frustration and for once he heard Rogue,

"She overdid it."

The outburst came so fast that he didn't catch himself until he realized he was grabbing Rogue by the collar, "what are you talking about?"

"She was ill, you hadn't noticed?" Rogue stared back at him indifferently, already used to his temper tantrums. He felt a light tug on his pant leg and released his grip almost reluctantly. Stepping back and watching as Fro attacked her owner, showering him with small quiet questions.

No, he didn't notice.

He knew she was acting strange- hence why she almost fell out the window earlier but sick?

She really was like a rabbit, wasn't she?

So fragile.

So annoyingly fragile.

Sting left the balcony with loud angry steps, retreating before he let his own twisted thoughts get the better of him.

I thrashed around in my restraints uselessly as I tried to shake the hands off my face. Angry tears sliding down the sides of my face as the fingers only tightened their grip; pinching my nose harder, holding my head more still, tearing my lips open as they shoved the contents of a cold glass down my throat.

I felt myself choking, letting out loud sobs and trying but failing to kick my assailants with wisps of hardened air. My throat was burning so much, it was so dry and brittle- it felt like they just shoved a cactus down my esophagus.

"shush shush, sister" said one voice above me, digging her nails further into my collarbone as she emptied out the contents of the glass into my throat. I only screamed with each word she dared mutter into my ear, "it'll be over soon. You'll thank me- I'll finally take you out of this pathetic state grandmother had put you in after all."

I don't want your fucking help, I tried to scream in anguish, but it came out as a series of incoherent gasps and sobs. I could've just figured it all out myself, I didn't need your damn help.

But it wouldn't came out the way I wanted it to and I heard her mocking laughter fill the room again- her high screechy siren-like howl; she was preparing another concoction when I realized I was finally free from the chains dragging me down- no hands imprisoning my every move. No fingers.

I jolted up with all my might, growling like a dog at her only to sink back into the bed. I still had restraints around my wrists and waist. I let out an angry scream as I started clawing at the black pieces of fabric, not caring if I was biting into raw skin as well. My sister only laughed from her spot beside the bed as she screwed shut a jar, "having fun, sister? Being restrained like the monster you are?"

"What are you doing to me!" My voice croaked angrily; everything hurt. It hurt to breath, to move, to talk, to think. I glared at her with wet blood shot eyes as she squeezed the needle mockingly in the candlelight, a little bit of fluid flying out from the container while she did so.

I didn't get an answer this time; but I didn't really need one I realized as she all but jabbed the needle into my vein. Ignoring my screams and ordering for me to be restrained again as I struggled trying to get the needle out before she had the chance to inject the fluid in me.

It hurt.

It burned.

That was the only thing I remember thinking for the next few hours as she continued injecting me with fluid until I was numb. And then I watched wide awake as she slid a knife down my belly.

Watching with wide eyes as she slid the knife across my skin like a paintbrush on an empty canvas.

I was so tired

So tired.

I didn't even scream when I felt her tug a big piece of crystal out of my chest, only stared with big eyes.

And all I remembered thinking was that it was all done as she injected me again and I blacked out within seconds to her siren-like laughter.

Somewhere deep in my mind, I knew that waking up would be a whole new story all together.

"Oi! Bunny girl, are you-" A loud scream ripped out of me as I retreated from the man's touch. All I could see were little spots of colors- like someone had flung different colors of paint into my eyes, and the light brush of fingers the man had just unintentionally grazed on me hurt more than he knew.

"Get away from me!" I screamed as tears sprang back up in my eyes, my throat was still dry and every word just burnt all the way up but it didn't stop my tantrum.

I thrashed around in the bed, trying to stay away from anything that was everything only to realize that I was still restrained to the bed by the thick black fabric.

"Lily, you" He didn't finish- I didn't let him as I felt his cold hand back on my cheek. My eyes were closed shut in terror and pain as I felt his cold fingers ghost my cheek all the way to my forehead, trying to lightly clean something. I found myself sinking deeper into my bed, sobbing hard as the pain came in hard waves.

His hands were so different from the hard vices from last night.

So different but still so cold.

So cold.

"Lily," he whispered again and I felt my heart stop, crushing my tongue in between my teeth. Don't scream, don't scream, I kept telling myself.

This voice was familiar, was what I kept repeating to myself in the back of my mind, I know this man. He's safe.

But I still couldn't help myself from whispering for him to stop under each terrified gasp.

"Lily," he repeated, his voice more firm as his hand left my head. I still refused to open my eyes.

"Stop." I cried under my breath, feeling my own nails dig into my palms under the restraints.

"Lily,"

"Stop,"

"Lily, look at me!" I felt my head being yanked to the side, forcing me to look and I screamed in agony. My eyes were burning but he still wouldn't let go until my sight readjusted to the light, no matter how much I struggled or screamed or cried.

His grip was now hurting me, hurting me more than the hands that came with my sister. His hands were just like the shackles from my nightmares. He wasn't safe anymore, I kept telling myself, willing myself to shut down. But my mind wouldn't listen, I was half aware when I felt him yank my head again.

"Bunny girl, look. at. me." And in fear of him hurting me further, I did. And I relaxed almost immediately as my eyes got used to the morning light, he let go once he saw that my whole body sank deeper into the bed and I, into the soft pillow with a relieved sigh.

"Sting," I let myself whisper and let out a small smile. He was safe, I called to myself tiredly, Sting was safe.

"Why are you covered in blood?" He asked without skipping a beat, carefully leaning over and scratching a patch of dried blood off my exposed collarbone.

I only shrugged, I didn't want to remember last night's events. I didn't. I didn't want to recall the needles, the injections, the hands, the pain. The hot, iron, piercing pain. The laughter. The siren-like laughter. The agony. The-

"Hey," the lull of his voice snapped me out of it almost immediately, staring at me with indifferent eyes as I began to sob, "calm down"

"Sting, I have something to tell you..." I said in between sobs.

There was too much pain. Too much pain.

"I know, Lily. I know already," he said cooly and reached to pat my head. I stared at him with sad eyes as he stopped midway, grabbed a strand of my hair and bringing it into view,

I stared back in confusion.

"W... why are you suddenly blond?" He asked in disbelief, yanking the strand in disbelief. I let out a soft cry of pain and he dropped it almost immediately.

I didn't drop it though.

"What a-are you talking about?" I laughed nervously as I shifted uncomfortably in the bed, not realizing that I would be rubbing my red wrists against the black plastic-y fabric of the restraints each time I did so. "I-I have pink hair."

Sting only stared at me, with a straight face and his lips slightly parted. And I stared back because I honestly thought my hair was still the ugly pink it was before I got hurt.

It was. It was.

"It must be the sun. The light," I was muttering now. More to myself than to him, "there is no way"

I was shaking my head, staring off at the corner as I tried to convince myself that the white dragon slayer was wrong. Maybe it was my sister's hair. Maybe she cut off a strand of her own hair in order to preform whatever creepy dark ritual she liked doing in my hospital room.

Tears were already streaming down my eyes as Sting moved and grabbed something from the beside table.

"S-Sting. Please tell me-"

He held up a the big piece of metallic crystal in front of me and all I could think was

oh.

He was right. I was blond. And not just any blond. My hair had changed, curling in ringlets and parted on the opposite of my face. So different than the hairstyle I had to adopt when I was a pinkette. The cyan eyes dashed in confusion,

"No. No. No. This isn't supposed to happen," I whispered under my breath, eyes still locked onto my reflection. Watching in horror as the girl reflected in the crystal mirrored my actions, "I... I... didn't want this. Not this way."

But I knew that deep down, this was what I wanted exactly.

Deep down, I knew- and oh how it tormented me so at this moment, that I wasn't- couldn't ever be Lily Harvard anymore.

Then another thought bloomed upon me and I stared at the crystal with the same wide eyes and then to the big blanket covering my chest.

"Move it." I muttered in a croaky voice, my head going through so many different possibilities.

She didn't. She wouldn't. She'll never.

"What are you talking about?" Sting stared at me with a ticked off look on his face.

"Just move it." I said a little too harshly and I winced internally, "the blanket."

The white dragon slayer didn't even say a word as he all but yanked the thin sheet down. If it was any other time, I would've noticed how he blushed almost immediately and turned away, if it was any other time, I would've noticed how his lip quirked up if only for a second; but it wasn't like any of those times. I knew I was topless, or at least the slightest bit aware that I was. I was still too groggy from all the drugs to feel or be aware that I should feel embarrassed that he saw me topless but that wasn't the point.

I knew exactly what she did now.

I knew.

The words were now caught in my throat as I stared at the long scar running down from the middle of my breasts to my belly button. Staring at every single stitch that was decorating my skin. Stared in disbelief as I shot back from the scar to the crystal.

I was suffocating suddenly.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't think.

All I saw was red.

And I screamed and thrashed all over again, throwing my body here and there; not even caring if the black scratchy plastic fabric dug deeper into my skin as I yanked my fists up and tried to heave myself up.

Sting shot around almost immediately and yelled in anger, "What are you doing, you idiot!"

But I couldn't hear him. I couldn't hear him.

The only thing that was running through my head as I twisted and turned that I was in pain. So much pain.

I didn't even notice that the door had opened until a shrill squeal filled the air and we both turned to stare at two figures standing at the doorway.

"LILIAN!" Emily beamed before throwing herself at me, ignoring all the dried blood and stitches and self inflicted wounds littered all over my body.

Behind her, I saw the duo dragon slayers talking to each other in hushed whispers and even despite the moon dragon slayer's excited chatter; I could hear the both of them oh so easily.

"Yeah, tell them she died last night."

Adding the last part was a last minute decision, since I thought I owed you guys anyways and it wouldn't screw up my planning if I just combined two chapters so voila!

Yeah so it's a little darker compared to the other chapters; what with the nightmare, impromptu surgery and morphine delusions. I actually had a lot more fun writing this chapter compared to the others- maybe because I like writing angsty stuff. meh

Review!~