Title: Our Past Can't Be Undone

Desc: One-shot based off of an anonymous prompt.

Anonymous prompt: The reason Beca can't open up is because she had brother that died in a car accident while she was driving

The sickening sound of twisting metal and shattering glass pervaded the world around Beca. Through her panic, she could hear blood curdling screams of terror. Searching in vain for the source of the screams, it was then she realized that the screams that she heard were her own. Sirens wailed, cutting through the darkness of the night. Pain wracked her whole body. She frantically tried to free herself from the seatbelt, but to no avail. Twisting her head around, she found herself staring into lifeless eyes that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She could feel her chest tighten, each breath becoming more difficult than the last. Agony welled up inside her until she felt like she would be consumed by it…

Beca violently started awake, sitting bolt upright in her bed and shivering from a sheen of cold sweat that covered her body. Fuck… She brought both hands up, roughly rubbing her face as if she could somehow erase the terrible memories that plagued her subconscious mind. She'd had the same nightmare every single night since the accident. The clock beside of her bed read 4:30 A.M. Damn, looks like I'm up for the day. Beca slowly brought her feet down onto the floor, wearily making her way to the showers. Today is going to be a long day.

The DJ's typically bad attitude was even worse that day. People, for the most part, decided the smart decision was to keep their distance. Save of course, for one certain redhead. Chloe had been the only person the entire day that had been brave enough to come within fifty feet of the brooding girl. This really didn't surprise Beca in the least. Chloe never seemed put off by her prickly demeanor. If anything, she seemed to take it as a personal challenge of sorts.

She and Chloe had been dating for a few months, but Beca had still kept the other girl at arms length. To Beca, things seemed better that way. The DJ felt guilty for closing herself off the way she did, but what Chloe didn't understand was that it was for her own good.

That evening, both girls were lying on Beca's bed, enjoying each other's company, when Chloe rolled over and said the three words that set the warning bells off in the DJ's head.

"I love you, Beca…" the redhead said softly, searching steel blue eyes for any indication that the feelings were reciprocated.

Beca shook her head back and forth. "No, you don't mean that. You can't love me, Chloe."

The senior sat up, peering back at Beca with a wounded look on her face. "Of course I mean it, Beca!" At that point, tears were streaming down the girl's face. "Why can't you just let me in? I try so hard to get close to you, and all you do is push me away. I don't understand."

"Bad things happen to people I care about!" Beca cried out. "If I let you in, something terrible will happen. I couldn't live with myself of that happened." Beca's voice sounded like a scared little girl.

Chloe's brow was furrowed in confusion. "Why would you think something like that? I don't understand"

Beca sighed in resignation, running both hands through her hair. There was no turning back at this point.

"There's so much you don't know about me… I'm not a good person, Chloe. I've done a lot of stupid shit that I wish to God that I could take back." She unsuccessfully tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "When I was sixteen, I was your typical rebellious teenager. My parents fought practically all the time. Home life was pretty shitty. The only reason I stayed home as much as I did was for Caden, my baby brother." Tears spilled from sapphire eyes. "You remind me of him, actually. He had the same excitement for life that you have. He never met a stranger, and he cared about people so much. He had such a passion for life. He was the closest friend I've ever had."

"What happened to him?" Chloe asked, her eyes full of tender compassion.

"One night, my parents were out of town. Caden had gone over to a friends house to hang out, and I had gone out to a party." Beca choked back a sob. "I was so fucking stupid. I had a few drinks, enough to get me pretty buzzed. Caden called me to come and pick him up. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't have been driving, but I did it anyway. I'm not even sure how it happened, but I lost control of the car. It hit a median and rolled three times before stopping. Caden was pronounced dead at the scene. I was in the hospital for a week. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't wished it was me that had died that night instead of him." Beca had begun to sob. Chloe pulled her close, stroking her hair and trying to offer her comfort. "After he died, I vowed that I would never let myself get attached to anybody that I could lose again. I started pushing people away. After a while, I had built up so many walls that it became easy to shut people out."

"That sounds lonely." Chloe mused, her voice just above a whisper.

"I deserve to be alone." Beca said bitterly. "I don't deserve to be loved…I certainly don't deserve your love"

"Beca, everybody has a past. Everybody has demons that they wish they could leave behind them." Chloe brought her hand up to softly stroke the brunette's cheek. "You were young and you made a mistake. You don't deserve to be punished the rest of your life because of it. Life is unfair. Nothing I do or say can change that. What I do know is that you can't keep living in the past and hating yourself for things that you can't change. If you and Caden were as close as you say, I know that he certainly wouldn't want to see you like this. Forgive yourself, Beca. It's what he would want you to do."

Beca's tears had subsided, leaving small sniffles in their wake. For the first time in a long time, Beca could feel the weight bearing just a little bit less on her shoulders.

"It may take me a while, but I'll try to start opening up." Beca said softly. "That is, if you're willing to stick around and put up with my bullshit."

Chloe smiled softly, pulling the DJ in for a tender hug. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."