Title: Lost
Characters: Count Dooku, implied Qui-Gon Jinn
Period: Immediately after TPM
Type: Angst
Summary: Dooku just missed Qui-Gon's funeral and contemplates why he came.
There was nothing left of the funeral pyre that had burned the remains of Qui-Gon Jinn into becoming one with the Force. There was not even a single mote of ash left to signify the passing of such a great Jedi. The Nubians were meticulous in their cleanup after the funeral. The only thing that even remotely suggested that there had been a funeral was a slight charring of the earth where the fire had burned the hottest.
Dooku knelt down and passed his hand over the scorched ground, closing his eyes as he stretched his senses through the Force, searching for something he did not expect to find. Memories flooded his mind at that moment, memories of a young boy equally as unruly as his master, and just as kind and understanding.
And wise.
Yet he did not sense any of those feelings or memories here in the Force, not from the scorched earth and the remnant of scents of burning pyre oil and wood. All he had was his own, personal memories of the padawan he had trained and come to love as his own son. He felt nothing in the Force that would have, should have told him that a Jedi had been consecrated here.
His fingers dug into the earth as he scooped up a handful of the burnt soil and held it in his hand, letting it fall between the digits back to the ground. There was nothing here, just like there was nothing in his own heart. Like the area around him, he felt empty inside and then a floodgate of emotions washed over him as his thoughts turned to ignorance that had been forced upon him.
Anger. Hatred. Rage.
His own masters had lied to him even though he knew in the Force that something had happened. The former Jedi clenched his hand around the remaining soil in the palm as he let his emotions roil through and around him. They had wanted to leave him in the dark until everything had been done and gone before telling him that his padawan had died and told him they did, after he had returned from his mission.
That was when he had felt it was the last straw. Disgusted at what his fellow Jedi were becoming, he had left the Order and everything he had ever known and cared about. He had intended to return to his family's home on Seranno but something tugged at the back of his mind, something urged him to come to Naboo instead.
So he went.
And found himself standing before a blackened ground wondering why.
What had he hoped to find here?
"Lies. Deceit." He muttered as he slowly stood, his disgust at the very thought of his padawan dying for an order that would hide his death from those who cared about him. "Even here there is nothing to suggest that you had lived and died, my friend. Only an emptiness in the Living Force."
The former Jedi Master sighed heavily and let the last of the soil drop from his hand and watched as it returned to the earth, only to be blown away in the gentle breeze that came upon the area. He felt the same tug in the Force he had felt before when he had left Coruscant and looked up, searching for the source.
He saw and felt nothing.
Just like there was nothing left inside of him to remain as a Jedi.
Dooku turned and pulled the hood of his cloak closer around him as he walked away; leaving behind the only sign that his padawan had once existed, and leaving behind the Jedi Master that had trained him.
Had he lingered just a little longer, he might have caught a glimpse of a saddened visage watching him.