Pride and Prejudice
„It's nothing like that. I … well, maybe you noticed that I defended you in Potions yesterday – you know, I think I've time for you. Very much at that. I think you're nice and that's why I've plucked up my courage and spoke to you. It really hurts me that you imply that my intentions have been … bad. That I'm only here for a dare or something."
Regulus' face doesn't betray an emotion at all but his nearly black eyes examine me so strongly that I nearly stop to breathe. "Bullshit." He buzzes with a hint of keenness in his voice and lifts himself up to his full height – he overtops me by nearly fifteen inches what kind of frightens me. I'm alone in a quite secluded corridor with a seemingly angry Slytherin after all. "I loathe liars more than anything in the world, Emily."
I swallow hard because I nearly lose myself in the night black eyes of my opposite and almost disregard the earnestness of the situation.
"You're a Slytherin." Oh Merlin! Had I actually said that? How can you be so dimwitted as to emphasize your opponent's putrid character resulting from his parentage?! I mean it's not like I told a lie or something but some people just can't live with the truth.
Regulus doesn't seem fazed, at least not on the outside. An attentive observer – like me – though notices the little twitch around his right eye, which can only announce calamity.
"You mean to say that because I'm associated with the house of Slytherin I accept the despicable weaknesses of the human species, yes?"
"Quite so." I retort audaciously and elongate my chin rather defying whereas I ask myself when I'll receive the control over my body back.
"Well, then I have to tell you that you are illiberal and small minded."
"Really? – Then help me to broaden my horizon."
"In your case that would be – I think – love's labor's lost."
I snort despicably at that. "Maybe you are in the right there. Oh yes, it was a mistake to even consider having a normal conversation with a snake."
"So you mean your pretended sympathies for me have vanished? Just like that?" he scoffs and arches an eyebrow at me.
"Exactly. And now I have to confess my undying love to your brother." Well, did I mention that I can't keep my mouth shut and that I keep on saying things that aren't really subserving to me and my social environment?
"That's your bet?" he asks dryly what causes me to fold my arms across my chest in defiance.
"Why do you believe that?"
"Well, I didn't contemplate the chance of a bet up until now but it seems to be just the case. The blonde Ravenclaw seemed to be connected somehow, you know, the one that's nuts about my lovely brother?" He wrinkles his forehead in thought. "So it's a bet – What do you have to do with me, eh?"
I think my facial expression darkens considerably. "Why do you count on your composite gift? You could be totally wrong and making a fool out of yourself right now, with your paranoid conjectures. It could be possible that I just wanted to find out which Black at this school pleased me more and I decided Sirius was the one."
"No." says Regulus and the lone word crawls rather sober over his lips.
"No?" He starts to walk towards the Great Hall and I follow him naturally just to look at him inquiringly.
"It may be my distinct ability to read people or my observing skills that led me to the conclusion that this is a bet. Because you hate Sirius so why would you confess your undying love to him if it weren't a bet?"
"Well, there's the possibility that I just pretended to hate him so that I didn't have to show my true feelings, because I've been hurt too often by the so called stronger sex. Which is why I'm just worried about my heart." Regulus looks at me kind of condescending but my statement seems to be the only reason for that, not the fact that I'm - in the eyes of many – an inferior Hufflepuff.
"Where is your illiberal mind when you need it, eh? Because it's a given that we Slytherins know every facet of hate and abhorrence known to mankind. So you can't delude me."
I remain silent. I'm beat and stare straight ahead. Who does he think he is? He can't induce the Queen, no what am I saying … the empress of discussions to give up just because of an argument that dense. What cheek! Regulus shoves his hands into his pockets and clamps the book between his arm and body.
"Wonderful. Now we can go back to my original question. What do you have to do to win the bet?"
I keep on staring straight ahead and pout a bit. He can think of me what he wants. I can see out of the corners of my eyes that Regulus tips his head and looks at me with an amused spark in his eyes. I ask myself why his anger about my statement of lies and Slytherins seemed to have vanished already. Perhaps he sees now that I have every reason to be petty to his kind? Or his questionably success in our discussion appeased him. Whatever.
"You should be happy that I am this cooperative. I could be angry that you just want to use me, you know." I squint at him, inspecting.
"If I tell you what I have to do with you do I have your permission automatically?"
Regulus shrugs. "Maybe."
"Maybe? That's too vague for me."
"Well, you'll have to take that risk if you want to avoid the fatal indignity."
"Come on, it wouldn't be that fatal." I parry boldly.
"Oh please, not again!" says Regulus jokingly annoyed and I narrow my eyes to slits. This can't be happening, how can we be so close and actually joke about my – occasional – argumentation addiction?! He really is the personified arrogation. Clearly, I'm not going to acquiesce that.
"Okay. You'd just have to go to Hogsmeade with me." I say with a cool voice. Well, that wasn't the spicy reply I would have liked to hand to him, but well … you have to act tactical sometimes. It's a real piece of cake baked by Fortuna herself that Regulus seems to be so cooperative. I mean, I hadn't counted on the fact that he would be so amiable and talkative. Maybe he's just acting, but hey! That doesn't concern me at the moment, main thing I win the bet and plunge Fara-Mousie into her well-deserved personal ruin. Oh yes, I can be malicious and accounting at times.
"Dear Merlin, to hear something that immoral out of your mouth turns my view on the world upside down." Jokes Regulus again and I can't help myself.
"What did you think, eh? That we had to fuck on the professor's podium?!" Holy Mother Mary I didn't just say that! I didn't even know that the obscene word "fuck" existed in my vocabulary to being with. If my grandfather had heard that he'd probably disinherit me three times in a row and my father would have fainted.
But what can I say? Regulus' facial expression would have been worth it. He looks a bit like I had just slapped him in the face or like he just walked against a wall.
"Don't say something like this ever again!" he growls to my surprise and stares punitively at me.
"Oh yeah?! And why not?!" Peace used to be! I'm furious and immoderately venomous – it's going to be dangerous. In these kinds of situations I'm a bit out of control after all.
"Because it's not like you."
I stop dead in my tracks because I'm so angry and can't help but grunt a bit because of my boundless outrage.
"You don't even know me, Slytherin! How can you assume what is like me and what isn't?! What the hell?! You can't presume to give orders to me, to be so exorbitantly arrogant and claim to have such a great knowledge of the human nature. You just don't know me, got that?! Don't you ever dare again to stuff me into a drawer!"
Regulus, who, too, has stopped now, looks at me with an expression in his pitch-black eyes that I can't really interpret. But then again, I don't give a damn shit about it.
I go through my hair in a slightly hysterical motion and then amend, slightly tart-tongued:
"It's going to be much easier to bear the humiliation than to spend time with an ignorant asshole like you!" I stare at him with a spiteful glint in my eyes and strut away with my head held high. I don't forget that Fara said that Regulus attacks girls from behind. But likewise I don't forget my pride either by running away like a chicken. No, I leave him behind using a peaceful pace. At least someone could engrave the following into my tombstone: She died with dignity and decency. As it turns out, Regulus doesn't wish to run after me to kill me, so I reach the Great Hall in one piece.
Do you know the saying "to jump out of the frying pan into the fire"? It's certainly true in this case. I'm thrown directly into a fight that I would have liked to witness from the sidelines, not here, preferably with popcorn. Lily Evans, hysteric and nerd by trade (not that those are bad attributes), as well as a bra burner and a constant attachment to James Potter (what a contradiction, right?), hair as red as fire, green eyes (Chester's are way prettier) and owner of a body to dream of, knocks me down so I find myself on the floor mere seconds after entering the Great Hall.
"Oh sorry! I didn't mean to do that." She says and rubs her shoulder, with which she had knocked me to the ground – gently of course.
"Are you alright, Lils? Did you hurt yourself?" James Potter seems to have missed the fact that I'm the victim here, but that's nothing new. He looks guilty. Of course, since he's most likely responsible for the fight. My experience tells me that.
"I'll help you up", says Lily with fake calm but honest helpfulness. I reach for her hand – my face contorted because of the pain in by behind. Once I'm standing again, Potter tries to apologize again.
"Lily, Darling. You misunderstood me, I swear. I … that was a joke between Sirius and me. Nothing important. Really, you have to believe me. You're my all in all." He makes puppy eyes at her and I feel the urge to vomit. I mean, "Lily-Darling" is just disgusting and the begging …
"Don't believe a word he's saying – this is just a put-up job." Why do I do that? Well, I hate Potter and my anger about Regulus needs to be dealt with somehow.
Lily looks surprised and forgets Potter's pathetic whining.
"That's none of your business, Hufflepuff." I mentally applaud him because he's just making matters worse for himself. He basically shot himself in the leg.
"That's exactly what I mean!" The red-haired bombshell looks furious. "You're so arrogant and haughty. You think you're better than everyone else and have a right to look down on people. Just because they're in Hufflepuff doesn't give you the right to be so mean to them! I'm really making an effort to overlook your flaws and just see the good things, but – you know what, James?! You're making it harder and harder. I'm your girlfriend, okay?! You have to respect me and not laugh about me behind my back with your idiotic friends!"
"But I didn't, honey! I respect you and I just yelled at shorty because it's none of her business…" And there goes the other leg. I smile gleefully.
"Shorty?! You are derogatory without even meaning to! That's it. I'm serious. I don't want to fight with you anymore, at least not today. I'm going to leave the Hall and if you follow me, we're over. Got it?!"
The Quidditch player nods faithfully and looks hurt, I almost pity him. Alas, almost is the word. Lily turns away from him, looks at me apologetically and leaves the scene. Potter follows her with his eyes and looks truly sad. The second the doors close behind Lily, he turns to me. He looks murderous.
"Why did you do that?"
I smile sweetly. "Well, everyone thinks Hufflepuffs are so good and nice. Who would ever doubt me? Why not use that?"
"Are you angry with me or what is that supposed to mean?"
"Is your brain function impaired or why do I have to tell you what things mean?" This is so awesome.
"Um?" He furrows his brows. Attacking from behind seems to be very effective. The Lions would never expect someone from Hufflepuff to attack them like this. And when it happened anyway … their brains are obviously overwhelmed. What were they supposed to do? Retaliate and risk losing a myriad of house points because they were attacking someone obviously weaker than them?
"Okay, that's answer enough. You know, I'm not like that so I'll help you. Read the book Humans in Primordial Times by Miranda Stonehenge! I bet you could learn some communication skills from homo erectus. Don't be deterred by his 'Ugga Ugga!' because even though it may not seem like it, he's much better developed like you."
I turn away from him and enjoy his total lack of words. Isn't it awesome being a Hufflepuff?