Here we are! A suggestion from Toxic-Hibari =D

Thank you for the suggestions! I will definitely reconsider writing them!=D

Since the toddler speaks "baby language"...the translation is in brackets.

...a Baby-sitter...

Xanxus yawned and slouched further down on his chair. Today, like any other day, he was annoyed and irritated. Who wouldn't be...? He was fired from two jobs in a row. Damn that shitty old man...when this is over, I'll teach him a freaking lesson...Damn you. However, this was the least of the Varia Boss's worries right now. The main worry was right in front of him.

"Yay! Crans! (Crayons)! Mummy will buy me crans! MAA MAA"

THAT was his main problem.

Xanxus watched wearily at the male toddler brandishing his old set of crayons and comparing them to his drawing of the new set his mother was going to buy him today. His hazel eyes shined enthusiastically as he reached out to his building blocks. Xanxus reached into his inner coat pocket and pulled out a bottle of Vodka, after hearing another high-pitched squeal from the toddler. If I get drunk on this...it's all your damn fault, baby. Shut the hell up already.

"SUU-LEEP...Guh neigh (Good night)"

"Tch...that was quick" muttered Xanxus, glancing at the toddler wrapped in bundles of sheets and quilts, "Where the hell did he get those...?"

And with that, things began to quieten down. Xanxus was already half-way through his Vodka when he noticed that the rug where the baby was sleeping on was getting damp. What the shit... He stood up from his chair and walked slowly over to the toddler. Xanxus hoped that it wasn't what he thought it was. He bent down and stared at it, when he noticed that there was a horrible stench coming from the baby.

"Shit...no way..." growled Xanxus, standing up and rubbing his temples. That's right. The toddler...peed and did a shit. He walked over to his chair, picked up the half-empty Vodka bottle and gulped it all down in one go. No, he couldn't handle this...anything but this! He wasn't cut out for this...unlike Lussuria.

"How on earth do I change a shitty nappy?" mumbled Xanxus angrily, picking the toddler up and placing him on the toilet floor. I don't even know where the nappies are kept...trashes... Instead of drinking Vodka and slouching in his chair, the Varia Boss was searching for nappies. Xanxus growled in frustration realizing that there was only three options he could reconsider, since he couldn't find the nappies and the little boy might do another who-know-whats.

a) Call the toddler's parents -highly unlikely Why should I talk to scums who don't even tell me where those freaking nappies are? Damn then...

b) Go to the shitty store and buy some

The last option really got on his nerves, but nonetheless it was an option...

c) Call Lussuria for advice. Ha! This is absurd...calling for Lussuria...for help. No...for changing some shitass nappies!

Xanxus thought carefully. Which was the best? Calling the parents was already out...should he go to the store? If he didn't, it would be Lussuria. Damn...Tch...fine. The only way to settle it...

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe"

Lussuria.

"..."

With that, Xanxus reluctantly pulled out his mobile and stared at Lussuria's number for a while before he called him, hoping he wouldn't pick up. Not long after, he could hear someone pick up. Shit...how do I explain...

"Why, Boss! What a surpise, mou~" squealed Lussuria, clearly surprised from the tone of his voice.

"..." Xanxus didn't know how to explain...he hoped Lussuria could realise his situation judging from the job he was away on today as a baby-sitter. The Varia already knew Xanxus was away on jobs to repay his 'debt' to the Ninth, to take back all the times Xanxus called him'"old man' or 'shitty bastard' and other vile words. Of course throughout his years, Xanxus had always called him an 'old man'...wasn't he? He was old enough to be an old man...Xanxus knew the Ninth just wanted a lame excuse to make him work. Bastard.

"Boss?"

"I-I..." grunted Xanxus, finding it difficult to find the right words to describe his situation.

"Hey, boss! Aren't you working as a baby-sitter today, mou?~"

"...yes." replied Xanxus dryly, hoping he would get to the point quickly and realise his desperate situation before he had to tell him. Besides that, Xanxus was hoping the boy wouldn't cause any other troubles...

"So, what's wrong boss? Want Mama to teach you how change nappies?" squealed Lussuria excitedly.

"...there are no nappies because the f**king parents did not tell me" hissed Xanxus, annoyed at hearing Lussuria say "Mama" like he was a child. This is exactly why I hate calling this guy...dammit...

"Hmmm...now that's a problem...but do not worry!" reassured Lussuria, "Just make a nappy out of tissues or any other materials that seem useful, mou!~"

"...and what the f**k are those?" roared Xanxus, clearly confused. Anything? Anything?

"Well, anything you can find that can wrap a baby's bottom, boss! And I got to go now! I have to make lunch for Bel and Mammon~"

"..."

"Bye boss, mou!~"

-Beep Beep Beep

"Vague bastard..." murmured Xanxus angrily, crushing the nearest glass cup. He walked over to a cupboard and picked up whatever material that suited to be a substitute nappy. He then strode over to the sleeping toddler and replaced his nappy with some tissues. Foul. While throwing the nappy in the bin, he came across some newspaper. Not bad... Adding to the tissues he wrapped around the baby's bottom, he added some newspapers. Xanxus smirked, thinking that he did a pretty good job changing nappies for the first time. And hopefully the last time he will ever do so.

"Needs more layers..." Anything..."that can wrap a baby's bottom"

Xanxus walked around the house and grabbed anything that looked suitable for a nappy. Objects included: an expensive hankerchief, clothes, blankets, ties, make-up remover pads and leaves. Leaves?

He took a step back to examine his masterpiece of a baby's nappy, "Finally...to hell with it..."

Ding Dong

"...about time, scums..." glowered Xanxus as he picked up his second bottle of Vodka that was on the floor and headed towards the door. He gave a death glare to the parents who just walked in and received a worried look and a mumbled 'Thank you, sir' in return. Xanxus, who was tired from a day of baby-sitting some brat decided to drink his Vodka in celebration when he noticed that something was not quite right.

Why...is it lighter?

Why...is it ...opened...?

Then the truth hit him.

No wonder the brat fell asleep right on cue...

NAME: Xanxus

OCCUPATION: Baby-Sitter

STATUS: FIRED.

Deleted Part of Sentence (not part of story):

He gave a death glare to the parents who just walked in and received a worried look and a mumbled 'Thank you, sir' in return, knowing that they would take it back when they saw their child wrapped up in...CRAP.

Hmmm...I guess it's more longer than the others=D

Ahaha! Yayayayayy! Chap. finished! XD

Sleepy...

-THEULTIMATEGREENBOSS