YO! I know this is quite late...but nonetheless, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I HOPE 2012 WILL BE AN AWESOME ONE FOR YOU!=D=D

Ok, this is a suggestion from: 'TheParadoxicalOtaku' ! I have to admit that this was a tad hard to write, so I hope it's alright^^

Please enjoy!~

...a Clerk...

The Mafia boss loosened his tie and clicked his pen impatiently before signing another heap of papers which were that was piled on his crowded desk. He couldn't be bothered signing his real signature, so he made a new one up as he went along. The signature before was in a shape of a small fish, and most of the others were in the shape of some sort of weird underwater creatures.

Then Xanxus decided to change the 'Underwater' theme to a 'Gardening' theme. Lovely choice. He was in the middle of signing a tomato signature when an officer came in and placed another large pile of papers before him.

"Curse those damned sheets..." he hissed, narrowing his eyes at the papers. Oh how he wanted to shoot them down...Xanxus had his guns on his job for the first time in ages, but he decided not to use them at the moment. Those shitty papers are not worthy of my gun... Xanxus let out an exasperated sigh and stretched his arms. In the Varia, it was usually Squalo who did all the paperwork. Now, things were different. He was the one stuck with all the paperwork.

"I need to think of a way to get rid of these papers," he muttered and observed his surroundings, when he saw a photocopying machine in the corner of the room. Suddenly, a great, fantastic, brilliant idea came to his mind. Yes! Xanxus strode over to the machine, laid a signed sheet of paper on the photocopying screen, and pressed a mysterious-looking button, which caused the machine to shake violently. Damn...don't you die trash before I can put my plan into action, you scum! The machine stopped shaking and Xanxus let out a relieved sigh.

Too early. The machine then started coughing up black ink. He stared wide-eyed at the photocopying machine in shock.

"You...were supposed to hear what I was thinking, you brainless jerk!" he growled, as he took his guns out of his pockets and pointed them at the sickly-looking machine, "Can't you see I need to photocopy some freaking paper?" Xanxus restrained himself from firing, which took up nearly all of his mental power. I can't shoot it...yet...I need to photocopy before the officer comes in again. Last chance. He pressed a red button and held his breath. "Come on, you shitty piece of trash...unless your arse is constipated." And fair enough, the photocopies did come out! He gathered the sheets quickly and walked back to his desk.

Operation Getting-rid-of-the-trash-paper: START.

Xanxus stared at the 90 copies he made of the signed paper. Each photocopy had the same 'tomato' signature on it. He stared at the signature, "I should have put a stem on the tomatoes, dammit..."

He grabbed 30 copies of the signed papers and placed them on top of the unsigned stack of papers, then placed another 30 copies in the middle of the pile and lastly, positioned 30 signed copies in the end of the pile of unsigned sheets. Hehe, done. Now...all I have to do now... Xanxus removed 90 unsigned sheets from the pile, since his manager would wonder how and why did his pile of papers increase so dramatically.

"Where the heck do I hide them..." he murmured, looking around, "Tch, I'll just go and stick them up someone's pathetic arse." Not that you could fit 90 papers in someone's arsehole... Xanxus strode across the room and placed the cursed papers into anything that he could find that looked suitable as a hiding place.

20 copies into a flowerpot: This ended up being 15 copies, because Xanxus couldn't roll the papers into the right shape of a flowerpot. Yes, it was hard. It was a gourd shape.

15 scrunched up copies in the fish-tank: He was getting desperate. "At least the stupid fish could eat it..."

35 copies as 'brand new' wallpaper: This was quite successful. Xanxus covered a cream-coloured wall with blank white sheets of paper, making sure the text was on the other side of course. Actually...anyone would be kind of stupid if they didn't realise that something was wrong with that wall. Terribly wrong...

20 copies burnt to a crisp with his guns: Yes. He finally did it. He finally used his guns. Oh the satisfactory feeling of pulling that trigger...on pieces of damned paper...right.

After an hour of hard work, which consisted of trashing unsigned paper, he glanced at the places where he hid the troublesome pieces of paper. "They definitely won't notice," Xanxus said triumphantly, as he got up to leave the room, whilst making sure that the pile of 'signed' papers was still on the desk. Just when he was about to step out of the room, he saw something that made his blood boil. In the far left corner of the room...was...

A paper shredder.

Xanxus stared hard at the machine and he impulsively reached for his guns.

BANG.

"I didn't see any damn paper shredder..."

If only you had seen that earlier, you wouldn't have to go through all that trouble trying to hide the papers, Xanxus.

"Wow, that newbie was certainly good! He signed all the papers within an hour!" exclaimed the manager proudly, going through the first 28th sheets, "He would make an excellent cler-"

31st sheet

"..."

"..."

"..."

"W-WHAT THE HELL? WHY ARE THESE BLANK!"

NAME: Xanxus

OCCUPATION: Clerk

STATUS: FIRED

A little extra: [Just imagine the look on his face if you said that out loud to him...]

Xanxus stared hard at the machine and he impulsively reached for his guns.

BANG.

Ah...whoops. You just missed.

Yay! I hope you liked it! Thank you for the fantastic suggestions!XD Yeaahh!~

Blurp. Stay tuned!~

-TUGB