Don't read if this will trigger you. More coming soon. Thanks for the reviews! Please leave more. I'm here for you if anyone needs me.
I don't own House of Anubis.
Eddie is right it really isn't fair. If I had been in the hospital for some kind of injury or illness nobody would accuse me of being attention seeking or selfish. But just because my brain is sick instead of my body I'm just making it up for attention according to some people. How very selfish of me!
I don't think being a cutter makes me selfish. There are people out there whose problems are way worse than mine and I know that. But just because people out there have problems doesn't mean my problems don't exist. I realize I am crying and Eddie wraps an arm around me. "Patricia," he says, "It's ok. Joy is just being ignorant."
"Please give me a razor," I beg him.
"No Patricia," he says, "You've got to stay strong. Didn't you and your therapist come up with a list of things to do when you want to cut?"
I nod and think of the list. It's mostly made up of my therapist's suggestions.
"What's the point of recovering anyway?" I ask, "I'm already covered in scars."
"Patricia," he says, "I love you so much and I want you to recover. But I don't think I can make you see the point of recovering. I think that's up to you to find. I almost lost you because of this addiction maybe that's a reason."
"I'm so sorry babe," I say, "I'm really trying."
"I know," he says, "Try doing something on the list."
We sit and talk while I paint my nails (number 8 on the list) a pretty red color. Then we watch TV (number 6). After that I'm calm enough that I can do my math homework, which is simplifying radicals. As long as I don't think too much I can do the problems correctly.
Finally it's time for dinner. I can feel Joy's cruel glare on me the whole time. Halfway through the meal I can't take it anymore and run upstairs to my room.