This chapter could be very triggering. Like always don't read if this will trigger you. Message me if you need to talk to someone. Please leave reviews. Melanie: Like I said before your idea wasn't the direction the story was going in at that point. However this chapter incorporates your idea! I hope you enjoy!

I don't own House of Anubis or Too Old To Die Young by Will Hoge, which is where the song lyrics come from. It's a great song and you should all listen to it.

The next day I wear a short sleeve shirt to school. The end of the sleeve hits just above my elbow. It shows a bunch of scars but not nearly as many as last night. Eddie is not in my history class so he is not with me when I run into Joy.

"Hi Patricia," she says sarcastically, "I love how you got me kicked out of Anubis House. It's wonderful to have to start over in a new place."

"Leave me alone Joy," I say, but she continues.

"Oh look she's wearing short sleeves," she says, "How cute! Now she can tell the whole world that she's a pathetic, selfish, ungrateful cutter."

"Joy," I say, "Why are you doing this to me? You were my friend. I don't get it."

"What about people with cancer Patricia?" she asks, her voice full of hate, "Did you ever think about them? They probably hate you for destroying your perfectly good body. It works the way it should, doesn't it?"

"My body works just fine," I say, "It's my brain that doesn't work right. I am aware that my life is reasonably good. I'm thankful for the parts of me that are healthy. But mentally I am not healthy. I have an illness that is just like any other illness; it just affects a different part of my body. Just like any other illness it needs treatment, the same way an illness like cancer needs treatment, and getting that treatment and learning to live with my illness doesn't make me pathetic, selfish, ungrateful or attention seeking. "

"Whatever," Joy says, "Everyone thinks that you're pathetic and selfish and ungrateful and attention seeking, even that boyfriend of yours, so I guess it doesn't really matter what you think."

For some reason this statement hits me hard and I walk away from Joy. I go to my locker, which is the one place they forgot to search for tools, and reach inside. I take out the blade and hurry to the bathroom. There I roll up my pant leg and dig into my skin once again. The words of a song that I love come to mind, "I let it run like an open vein, love the pleasure but curse the pain."

I add another cut and another until there is a line of fresh cuts going up my leg. I let the cuts bleed.

I have been sitting there for a while when I hear voices outside the bathroom.

"Have either of you seen Patricia?" Eddie asks.

"No," says Fabian, "Weren't you and her just in the same class Nina?"

"No," Nina says, "She wasn't in class."

"Damn it!" Eddie says, "Relapse."

"You don't think?" Fabian asks.

"Yeah," Eddie says, "I do."

"Gosh," Nina says, "She was doing so well."

"Nina," Eddie says, "Would you check the girl's bathroom?"

The door opens and Nina comes in, "Eddie!" She calls.

He and Fabian come in right as I burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry Eddie," I say, "I'm so sorry."

"Relapse is part of recovery," he says.

I get up and wash the blood from my leg. Then I open the pocket of my school bag and take out a bag of Band Aids. I put them over my cuts and then roll my pant leg back down.

"You think that I'm pathetic, stupid, selfish and ungrateful don't you?"

"Patricia," he says, "Listen to me. I do not think any of those things. I never will think any of those things. Please try to believe that because it is the truth."