Peddemotional! I love it! Such a perfect word. Thank you so much for the reviews. I'm glad you're reading author's notes now Melanie. Sometimes they're important. Like right now for example when I remind you not to read if you are likely to be triggered by a story about self harm and that you can PM me or email (selfharmblog at gmail dot com) me or contact me on Tumblr (recovering from self harm dot tumblr dot com) if you need to talk you someone. I've given you multiple communication methods because I know not everyone has a Fanfiction account. Also you don't need a Tumblr to contact me on Tumblr you can do it anonymously.
Please leave a review and tell me what you think of this story! I love getting reviews but please try to keep them positive. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. Ordinarily I would tell you to say whatever you wanted about my story good or bad but this is a very personal story. Thank you so much for respecting that! Nobody has given me any hate for this story yet but I have a friend (also a recovering self harmer) who is considering leaving Fanfiction because of the response she got to a story about self harm. I don't want that to happen to me!
I don't own House of Anubis.
"But I messed up," I say, "And I keep messing up."
"You're trying," he says, "That's what's important."
"I'm sorry," I say, "I shouldn't be leaning on you for support like this. It's not fair to you. You should have dumped me when you found out I was crazy."
"Patricia," he says, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "I'm your boyfriend you are allow to lean on me when you need support. I know you would do the same thing for me. I am not going to break up with you because of an illness. I am here and you can't get rid of me so accept it."
I lean over and kiss him. It's not our first kiss but it's the most romantic, despite the fact that we are currently in the girl's bathroom. Eventually Fabian pulls us apart, "All right you two, I'd say get a room but we're already late you our next class," he says.
"Are you okay Patricia?" Nina asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell her. "I'm going to be just fine."
Nina and Fabian start to head to class but Eddie and I stay back for a few moments.
"Patricia," he says slowly and kindly, "Give the razor."
"Oh," I say, "Right."
I keep forgetting that I am not trusted with sharp objects anymore. I hand him the razor.
"Do you have any more hidden away somewhere?" he asks me.
"No," I tell him, "I just had the one hidden in my locker. That's the only one you didn't have."
"Okay," he says, "You know I worry about you. I love you so much Patricia and when I saw all the blood and that cut I thought for a few seconds that I was going to lose you."
"I know you're worried about me," I tell him, "And I can't tell you not to be. The truth is I honestly don't know if I'm ever going to be okay. They say the meds usually work and that life will be somewhat normal but I don't know if I should believe them."
"Patricia," he says, "You've got to have hope. Do you know of anyone who has bipolar disorder?"
"Not really," I say.
"There are a lot of successful people who have it," he says, "They think that one of those old composers had it. I can't remember which one. There are a lot of celebrities with bipolar disorder Two of them are the girl from Terminator and the girl who played Princess Leia. I mean those are really popular, really successful movies that wouldn't have been made if it wasn't possible to live and work with bipolar disorder."
"I guess you're right," I say.
He laughs, "Well I know I am. You are going to have a great life Patricia. Nothing is going to stop you from living life. Not even some mood disorder."
"Thanks for the pep talk," I say, kissing him again.
When he pulls away he laughs, "Fabian's right we've missed most of class."
"Screw class," I say, "Let's go back to Anubis House."
"Patricia," he says, "As much as I would love to skip school to make out with you we really do have to get to class. My dad's the principal. He knows when I skip."
"Okay fine," I say.