Chapter Two: Hips Don't Lie

While Alec had expected to get naked, he hadn't anticipated it to be this quick. Or for it to feel like he was headbutting a cement wall. Shit-by the fucking-okay I know Magnus has been working out but this is ridiculous- His head throbbed as he slid to the floor, tile cold against his bare skin. Slowly, as he came into focus and the finer details fell into place, he realized why his make out session had gone south so quickly. Firstly, his partner had vanished, nowhere to be seen in the claustrophobic shower block. Gone was the dark and comfy confines of Magnus' apartment. Instead he was greeted by vomit colored bathroom tile and the thick odor of feet and B.O.

Holding his pounding head Alec let out an involuntary groan. He slumped further into the ground, a chill shivering through him reminding him further of the absence of his clothes. And Magnus.

"Alec?" Hearing his named called from outside the shower Alec was startled to recognize the voice. No, it wasn't his warlock, but relief flooded through him nonetheless. He scrambled to stand up only to nearly collapse again. Oh Angel everything's spinning... leaning against the side of the shower wall he pulled the curtain open partially, hiding his naked body.

"Simon?" Alec drank in the sight of the Daylighter, much happier to see him now than ever before. Whatever this trick was, it was made slightly more bearable with the introduction of a familiar face. "Simon, by the Angel, what the hell just happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing..." Simon breathed shifting to the side, revealing a men's locker room filled with jocks in various stages of undress. Suddenly Alec was thankful he chose to stay behind the curtain. Though he couldn't fathom where Simon of all people got the balls to stand around naked without batting a lash, even going so far as to carry on conversation with an equally naked Alec. "... did you just call me Angel?"

Alec stopped short, shooting Simon an odd look. "Er... no. It's an expression."

Simon didn't seem to buy it. What the hell, man. You've been around Shadowhunters for how long and you don't even know that? "You okay there, Bud? I heard...I thought I should come see if you were okay."

Weird, Alec couldn't help but notice how odd Simon was acting. Since when has Simon given a rat's ass-no hard feelings-about me? I guess he's been with us since before the whole Daylighter thing, as well as the Mortal War. Also volunteering to be Marked out to wander the earth, the most ancient of burdens resting upon his back, in hopes of gaining a few allies in the previously mentioned war. But still. This is Simon. "Uh... as okay as I can be after crashing headlong into the wall."

He turned back to the shower, looking inside for any odd details he may have missed. Aside from a now pummeled bottle of Old Spice, there was nothing that would lend him any clues as to his location. Clutching the shower curtain close, he looked to Simon, squinting his eyes under the pressure of his newly blooming headache. "...ah... where am I again?"

There was a beat. Then Simon shook his head. "Okay, you've got to get to the nurse's office, man. You're scaring me." Before Alec could protest Simon ripped the shower curtain all the way open and took him by the shoulder, pulling him forward. This did nothing to help Alec's confused daze, and he soon found himself- still naked as the day he was born -slumped against the vampire's chest. He tried to right himself, but Simon had already gotten a firm hold on him, guiding him into the locker room. The shadowhunter flushed, eyes falling to the floor before he could see any of the many occupant's reactions. Yeah, he was open, but this was a little much. Especially with Simon.

It wasn't until they reached a pile of clothes when the daylighter relinquished his grip. "But put some pants on first. Just because half the school has already seen you naked doesn't mean the other half has to be treated to the sight."

"Pants... would be good." Feeling the heat spread further and further across his cheeks, Alec mumbled something else as he sorted through the unfamiliar clothing. A T-shirt, a pair of jeans and black boxers all lying on top of a pair of red Chuck Taylors. Are these really my clothes? I don't remember... He looked up at Simon, who was simultaneously yanking on his underwear and shooting him a concerned look. As was the rest of the locker room, now that he actually looked. There was none of the jeering or taunting he had been expecting from the other teens; actually a few of them approached Simon while he was changing, quietly asking Simon what had happened and if he was going to be okay for the game that night. Wait, now there's a game? I'm playing a game? Like a Scrabble-game or a soccer-game? Probably soccer considering we're in a locker room but... I suck at soccer. However the worries gave way to another wave of pain, many thanks to his headache. He fumbled with his clothes for a short amount of time, and by some miracle he was able to dress without much incident.

Simon was at his side the moment he straightened up, more than happy to help him find the exit. Alec wanted to protest, to brush away the guiding hand on his elbow, but as a wave of dizziness hit him, Alec knew he was in no position to refuse the help. Letting the former-mundane lead him out of the crowded locker room, Alec looked around at the long, beige hallway they found themselves in, the walls cluttered with advertisements for various groups and gatherings with some political propaganda thrown in.

Alec had no idea who to expect, already having been met by Simon and a group of unfamiliar boys. He hoped no one would take notice of how he was shambling at the daylighter's side, expecting Jace to pop up any second and to start mocking him for his clumsiness. To his dismay, he was instead constantly approached by random guys who clapped him on the back- something of which didn't help with his headache -talking about how he'd better get well quick so he could kick ass on the football field that night. And then there were the girls. He had met mundane girls before, and they had always seemed a giggly and shy lot. A theory quickly proved wrong as he progressed down the hall; girls were pinching and grabbing and running their hands all over the place. They cooed in worry while simultaneously flirting with him. Everything from, "How hurt are you? I can always help take care of you" to "We should fuck the pain away, Lightwood."

It was all very overwhelming.

Suddenly he was grateful for Simon's firm support, because without it he knew he would have been hopelessly lost in this sea of new "friends". As it was, the other boy led him through the crowds without much trouble and down countless hallways, each the same as the last. A loud sound halfway between a bell and a buzzer rang through the halls, pounding his poor skull senseless with its high-pitched wail. He slouched further into Simon, who seemed to be a little too tense for just carrying Alec. I'm not that heavy... He cracked an eye open and looked up at him, only to be met with a interesting mix of shock, concern, and determination. Well that's weird. I haven't seen him look like that except for when Isabelle-

"Hey," The daylighter interrupted Alec's line of thought with a gentle nudge, "You okay?"

"I..." Alec trailed off, looking around the hall. A sigh of relief blew through him when he noticed the hall had begin to vacate of students. Thank the Angel... if I had to have one more girl grab my ass I might have lost it. "Yeah. Just a headache, that's all."

Simon nodded. "Do you think you can stand on your own?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." He shifted so his arm was no longer around his shoulder. Alec felt his hand wrap around his and pull him down a narrow passageway haunted by the most unpleasant mix of cough drops and bandage adhesives. "This way."

Alec was taken off guard by the surprise hand-holding. Simon... what the hell? Now that he thought of it, this wasn't the only thing off he noticed about the daylighter. First off, even in his rush to drag Alec out of the locker room he had somehow found the time to gel his hair slightly, the messily perfect array of disheveled half-spikes looking like something out of Magnus' arsenal. So did the dark and well-fitting jeans he wore; they screamed of some obscure designer label of which probably littered the warlock's closet. Gone were the snarky T-shirts as well, replaced with a red cardigan with a cream dress shirt layered underneath it.

It was as if Chris Colfer and John Barrowman had a baby.

Alec was just about to question this strange occurrence when they stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. By how it was plastered with various posters depicting the human body and all the horrible things that could possibly happen when drugs and unprotected sex were introduced, Alec figured that this was the mystical "Nurse's Office" that had been mentioned earlier. "Here we go..." Simon pushed the door open, smiling. Naturally Alec held back, unsure he wanted to enter this shrine devoted to possible abuse of his welfare. But Simon once again had his arm around him, pulling him inside. Alec turned to protest, but was cut short by the legitimate look of worry in the vampire's eyes.

"Simon..." Alec wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say, but there was definitely something... off about him. Whether it was the hair or the sudden sense of style, which Alec was only able to recognize through his overexposure to Magnus. Actually... "Did you have to borrow from Mag's closet or something?"

"What?" Simon's gaze held a tenderness that Alec didn't know existed. He was too stunned by Simon's behavioral shift that Alec didn't notice Simon's hand till it was pressed against his forehead.

He flinched away at the unexpected contact. "Simon really-"

"Everything all right dearie?" Simon pulled away when an elderly woman hobbled in from the back room. Thank the Angel, someone who isn't trying to molest me. Alec cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. I just hit my head, that's all."

She glanced between he and Simon, "I see," she said knowingly with a small smile. "Well, if it's a head injury we've got, you may as well sit down, sweetie. Over on that cot there will do." She indicated a narrow bed against the far wall of the little room. Alec nodded, stepping away from Simon and settling onto the stiff mattress. He swiped the hair out of his face, and his eyes widened a little bit when his hand pulled away with a smear of blood on it. I really did hit my head hard.

Before long the nurse appeared with a band-aid and some disinfectant. With another knowing glance between Simon and Alec, she cleaned his wound and gingerly pressed the bandage down so it would stick. She gave another little smile making her eyes crinkle. "You've got everything a boy like you needs, honey, but if you keep this up you might just lose it. You've got to be more careful with yourself. It's not just you anymore." Giving his shoulder a light pat, the woman threw the leftover plastic strips from the band-aid in the trash bin at the end of the cot.

The band-aid's adhesive pulled on the skin of his forehead as Alec's eyebrows drew together in confusion. He was about to ask what exactly she was talking about when she turned back. "That should do it! Now, be sure to take it easy tonight before the game. Nothing too radical, okay hun?" Before she left him, going back to sit behind a cluttered desk in the corner of the room, Alec though she saw her eyelid drop in a little wink. Alec blinked a few times, wondering if he had imagined it, and more than slightly confused about the meaning behind it. What is it with all these people acting like they know me so well?

But before he could even form this question into words, Alec was cut off by the room's door flying open and a fireball slamming into his chest. Caught very much off guard, Alec tumbled backward onto the cot so now that figure hovering over him was practically straddling him when it started talking. "Oh Alec! WoobieBear, AllieBun!" The flaming meteor that must have been a person rattled off a long list of pet names, high-pitched voice bringing his headache back into perspective. "Oh my God! I was so worried! I heard a rogue lesbian- was it Maia? I heard it was Maia -charged into the locker rooms and flying body tackled you to the ground! I came as soon as Leah told me and God I thought you were dead! I thought that I would be alone forever and that we wouldn't be homecoming king and queen and wouldn't go out tonight after the game to have-"

"Clary, Clary, Clary! Calm your tits, girl!" Suddenly Simon was behind the firestorm, pulling her off of Alec, freeing him the pin. He slapped a hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop her rambling commentary. "He's cool, okay? No lesbians tried to kill him, alright?"

Clary? Alec focused on the human wildfire in front of him, trying to match a name with the face. Easier said than done, he discovered, when he saw that the face he was confronted with was nothing like the one he expected. No longer was she the calm, curly-haired redhead in modest clothing Alec had come to know as his parabatai's girlfriend. Instead he was assaulted by kohl-rimmed eyes, pin-straight hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, and a green and white ensemble of a skirt and top he barely recognized as a cheerleading uniform.

"Nonsense! This boy is in serious need of his Clare-Bear! No lesbians are going to touch my sweet like hunk of Alec!" Twisting out of Simon's grip, Alec only had the chance to raise his arms in protection before Clary assaulted him again. Cringing back against the bed, Alec could barely move, Clary's grip surprisingly strong. If only she could learn to channel this strength while training..."Oh, baby, I thought I had lost you." Her voice was lower than before, and Alec couldn't help but notice how uncomfortably close she was.

"Clary...?" The name felt strange when being used in relation to this stranger with a friend's face. A face covered in out of place foundation and eyeliner, but a face nonetheless. "Um, could you uh, maybe back up a bit? Please?" She was so close he could see each of her mascara-drenched eyelashes and feel her breath on his face. "I'm finding this extremely uncomfortable."

She gasped, but pulled away to Alec's relief. She tuned conspiratorially to Simon, tugging his sleeve and whispering, "He really did hit his head hard."

"I know." Simon muttered. But unlike Clary, he didn't seem nearly as worried about it anymore. In fact, he was starting to look a lot more chipper; perhaps due to the fact Clary was no longer attempting to rape Alec. He supposed anyone would be in a better mood in the absence of that.

"Um, hello? Just because I hit my head, doesn't mean I lost my hearing. And I'm fine. Really, I've had worse; you two know that." Alec straightened up, rubbing the back of his head where it had knocked against the wall during Clary's attacks.

His statement didn't seem to lighten the mood as Clary continued to pout. "Of course but... I mean, the time you tore your ACL was pretty nasty but you still wanted me to-"

"You're acting weird." Simon finished, pulling his arm away from Clary's grip and crossing his arms. "I don't think I've seen you this mellow since... well, ever."

"What do you mean?" Alec resisted the urge to scratch at his new bandage, the adhesive irritating where it stuck.

But as he looked at the odd pair, so different from what he had come to know both in behaviour and appearance, it struck him. There's no way this can really be Simon and Clary. He puzzled over what could have put him in such a strange situation: staring down doppelgangers in a world that was most certainly not his own. He was in high school for Angel's sake. He'd never stepped inside of one in his life; well, at least an operating one. The closest he'd gotten to a functional high school was when Magnus made him sit through all three High School Musicals. Alec had to say, if this really high school, he'd be disappointed by the lack of spontaneous dance numbers. Is this a nightmare then? No, that can't be it... no demons have come out. And why would I dream of Clary getting on me? Fuck no... Magnus might know what this is. But how could I-?

"Do you think you'll be okay for class?" Simon had scooted onto the cot next to Alec, frowning. "Because if you're not you can always sit math out. Though, with your grade, I don't know..." Simon added with the air of an afterthought, biting a finger in thought. The sharp sound of a clap resonated in the small room, going straight to Alec's temple, bringing whatever focus Simon thought had been lost back to him. "But it'll be okay. You need to get your mojo back for the game tonight."

So whoever I am here is an idiot. Great. I guess that explains Clary... He was about to agree and ask to stay and lay down, when he noted the debaucherous glint in Clary's eyes. Okay maybe not. "I think I'm good for class. Um... you got our bags?"

He glanced around the office, realizing that they hadn't brought their backpacks up in the confusion earlier. But Simon was one step ahead of him. "Don't worry. I had Lucas take them to class ahead of us, just in case. You ready, then?"

Alec nodded and Simon helped him up. Clary huffed disappointedly. "Well, I guess you can go. But if you have any second thoughts... I'll be in my car." She tweaked his cheek and giggled, scurrying away just as quickly as she came. Trying not to flinch away too noticeably, Alec stepped away from Simon, shoving his hands in his pockets.

He sighed. "That was... exhausting."

"Tell me about it." Simon hummed in agreement, tilting his head slightly to the side when he looked at Alec. "You remember where the classroom is?"

Alec froze. "Ahhhh..."

"Don't worry. Follow me." He walked over to the door and propped it open for Alec, smiling. Meekly, Alec slunk by, still slightly shaken from Clary's appearance. He heard the door swing shut behind the two of them along with a muttered, "Fuck I wonder what else he forgot..."

Walking with Simon down the deserted halls, Alec wondered at the vampire's-was he even a vampire here?- characteristics. It was obvious that Simon was different, and it bugged Alec that he was so close to putting his finger on it, yet couldn't. Was it the way he looked? The way he acted? Maybe a little bit of both. Watching him walk, Alec noticed how Simon moved with measured steps down the middle of the beige corridor, shoulders back and chin raised. Simon turned a corner into a narrow stairwell, and Alec followed a few steps behind, lost in his thoughts until a movement caught his eye. Wait a minute...Blushing slightly as he shamelessly watched Simon walk up the stairs, hips swinging slightly, Alec felt his eyebrows raise unintentionally. Well, that explains some stuff. He makes Magnus look straight.

"Here we are," Simon announced as they reached the top of the staircase, headed for the doorway across the hall. Alec hurried into the class, hoping for a distraction from his newfound discovery. He wasn't sure what was socially acceptable in the situation and honestly didn't have the energy to think about it at the moment.

The classroom was, to say the least, was not what Alec had pictured the ideal class to be. Kids sat in groups on desks, chatting aimlessly while their books lay untouched in messy stacks to the side. Paper wads and bits of trail mix were flung across the room at random intervals followed by outbursts of swearing on the occasions the projectiles hit their mark. The teacher, a portly man of about forty who was reading a fraying novel, sat back in his chair with his legs kicked up on his desk, uncaring of the chaos around him. It was messy, loud, and most of all hell for his headache.

Simon elbowed Alec and nodded to a pair of bags that had been tossed against the back wall, their bags. But no sooner did he do this when a considerable amount of squealing crop out of the cacophony. Across the room, a cluster of girls were waving frantically at Simon, beckoning him to go over. With a smile and a quick "see you after class" he practically skipped over to the group, waving excitedly back. Leaving Alec to sit awkwardly behind a group of what he guessed were "Emo" kids in mundane slang. He pulled his bag from the wall and began to dig through it, trying to ignore the glares he got from the social outcasts.

He flushed at what he found there. Playboys lay bookmarked and out in the openness of the main pocket of his backpack, as well as a few condoms scattered across the bottom of the bag. He found a heavily graffitied algebra textbook wedged between pictures of naked women, of which he gingerly pulled out trying not to reveal the offending photography. Damn. It's like Jace's bottom drawer in here...

"Class... class!" A voice boomed from the front of the class, and the chatter died down. Slowly, kids got off of the desks and slouched into their seats, mutters flittering about as attention redirected to the teacher.

Once it had quieted down, he cleared his throat. "Thank you. Now I doubt you've noticed in your endless need to hold a conversation amongst yourselves but we have a new face in class today. He's a student from the University of Florida that has oh so luckily been assigned to our class for the semester. Ah, Mr. Bane, will you please stand up so we can all see you?"

Alec's heart stopped. Did he just say...? There was a slight creak of someone getting up out of one of the old rusty chairs in the back, and in almost one motion the class turned to the back of the room to face their new instructor.

He was just as tall and wiry as Alec had remembered. Not that he needed to do that much remembering; he'd been making out with him less than an hour ago. But apart from the obvious similarities in build, "Mr. Bane" was about as far from Magnus as one could possibly get. For one, his clothes were not only not skin tight but were actually, dare he say, baggy.His hair was what startled Alec the most. It was neither up in gravity-defying spikes, nor was it down silken black waves. No, it was almost completely gone. His hair was down to only an inch of black of which was conservatively combed down to perfect neatness.

Also, his face was completely free of any make-up. This wasn't as unusual as everything else, as Magnus was frequently without make-up around him, Alec had even expressed his preference for that. But there was not a trace of leftover eyeliner or a smudge of forgotten mascara to be found. And the glitter, which would have normally taken weeks between wears to wash out and thus never really gone, was nonexistent.

But it wasn't so much the absence of these things that he had grown so used to, it was that the whole air of the man. The feeling that any of these things, the tight clothes, the hair, the make-up, the glitter, now would be out of place. However the biggest difference, what made Alec's heart ache the most, was the complete lack of confidence in this person. His shoulders were slouched, and his fingers were gripping a blank white binder, fidgeting with a stray corner of paper that was sticking out of said binder. Oh Magnus...

Clear green eyes nervously surveyed the class from behind thick-rimmed glasses, and he cleared his throat before addressing the class.

"Ah... yes. H-hello. I'm Magnus Bane, and I will be assisting with the teaching of this class for the duration of the semester."

A/N: Thank you SO much for all the reviews and follows guys! It really means a lot to us!

Now this is probably going to be moved over to DoctorTheTwitches account upon the next update, so keep an eye out for that as this version will be taken down as soon as that one goes up!

Reviews will help with more chapters, and the more chapters the closer we come to introducing both the Alecs to eachother. ;)