A/N: I honestly cannot thank you guys enough for the amount of attention this ongoing story has received. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews (feedback), favorites, and follows. Seriously, you guys are awesome.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, Hook," Emma said, trying to maintain a disapproving glare while fighting back her rising laughter. She shoved him into his cell, and he turned to give her his dazzling smile as she slammed the lock into place.

"I thought it was rather clever, love."

Emma bit back a smile.

She'd caught him TPing Mr. Gold's salmon-colored mansion. Belle had called it in, watching the whole scene unfold from the sanctuary of the mansion's living room. It really was a miracle that the sheriff had gotten to Hook before Gold arrived, because there was no doubt in her mind that Gold would have filleted the pirate alive for vandalizing his precious home.

Emma couldn't believe the audacity of the pirate. Furthermore, she couldn't fathom or quite understand the fact that Hook had toilet papered Mr. Gold's home. Was he looking for a death wish?

I'm surprised he could even throw the toilet rolls with those big-assed balls of his—should have weighed him down.

Emma forced a calm expression, barely able to conceal her glee. The whole situation was just so damn hilarious. Gold's house—TPed. Bahahaha! It was so childish that it was funny.

"You must really have a death wish, buddy," Emma snapped at him, attempting to play the affronted cop. "How old are you? Five?"

Hook shrugged, smirking. "It seemed like a good plan at the time. Harmless—yet effective... Too bad you stopped me; I was about to proceed and re-paint that God-awful house. The damn thing is pink."

"It's salmon."

"It's pink, Swan."

"It doesn't matter anyway—now I have to clean up your mess," Emma announced, deciding to switch topics. To her, Hook really was an asshole, but he was also a hysterical bastard. The pirate had some serious balls to piss off Mr. Gold. "Now shut up and silently think about what you've done."

Hook laughed, holding onto one of the bars of his prison. "You really like locking me up, don't you?"

"You make it so easy," Emma shot back, willing her face to relax into annoyance. She approached her desk and sat down before taking a quick glance at the station's papers.

"Love, there are few other places I'd rather be than holed up, with you, in here. It's second to being chained together...besides the obvious number one..." He growled the last word lowly. Emma looked up sharply and scowled at his insinuation.

"Should I call up David?" she threatened, picking at her pocket to withdraw her cell.

Hook's eyes widened mockingly. Shit just got real.

"Do it," he dared her, feeling powerful. He could take Charming and his ridiculous punches and throws. The man was all brawn and no brain when it came to protecting his little girl. "Have Daddy fight your battles for you." At his snarky comment, Emma laughed. She laughed right in his impressed face. The girl was tough and sassy—he liked that. He really liked that. "You're not normally like this, Swan. Normally, you'd have hit me by now. You know, I guess I am into that BDSM thing."

"Oh shut up. Don't make me want to shoot you."

"I thought you'd already tried that, love?"

Staring into his endless, bottomless azure eyes reminded Emma that she was dealing with an immature adult pirate. "Next time I won't miss."

Ooooh.

"Perhaps if you hit all the...right places..."

Emma groaned. Here we go again with all the sexual innuendos.

Maybe it would have been better to leave him up to Gold.

Na... Secretly...she enjoyed this.

Yes yes, I know. It's a shorter chapter, but my attention span was BLAH! Can anyone else imagine Hook tossing toilet paper all over Gold's house? Hehe.