I will not hang doughnuts on my person.
"Hey, Sirius, I bet I can fit more on there than you!"
"Like hell you can!"
This retort was met by the sounds of laughter and cheers (and, to McGonagall's horror, a few wolf whistles and cat calls) from the rest of the students.
McGonagall was afraid to look up from her breakfast to see what was going on. She had that sinking feeling that she always got when she knew that the Marauders, as they called themselves, were doing something wrong. She took one last bite of her waffles ('Will I ever be able to enjoy a meal with them here?' she thought) and looked up to see what the commotion was all about. Her jaw dropped in shock. At the Gryffindor table, which was now surrounded by the entire female population of the school, were James and Sirius, their pants around their ankles (fortunately for McGonagall, their backs were to the teacher's table) and they were reaching for doughnuts from a platter on the table and placing them...there. McGonagall shuddered.
"Ha!" cried James. "I got one more than you!"
"Nuh-uh!" cried Sirius, struggling. "Just...gimmie a sec..."
"Mr. Black! Mr. Potter!" The boys turned their heads to see McGonagall shielding her eyes from the sight. "Remove those doughnuts, put your pants back on and follow me!" The girls groaned in disappointment, but James and Sirius obeyed.
Hogwarts never offered doughnuts for breakfast again.