Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.
Okay, so here is chapter three! I think this is the fastest I've ever gotten three chapters out consecutively. It must be from all this awesome support you guys are giving. I mean, man! I have 12 of you guys following me. That is... that is so nice! You guys are such lovely people.
Anyway, you guys are here for the new chapter, not for my confessions of love. So enjoy! As always, I hope it does not suck ass.
Kyle's POV
By the time we pulled into the theater's parking lot, I was really regretting my decision of tagging along. My head was pounding, but worse than that was the incredible need to vomit. All I wanted was to find a bathroom to curl up inside and die. Instead, I got to sit through a gory horror movie. At least that was what the consensus was among the three.
"What do you say, Kyle? Ready for the sequel?" Stan asked, a grin on his face. I gave an unenthusiastic thumbs up and tried not to fall out of the car when I opened the door. "All right!" His enthusiasm made up for the enthusiasm I lacked.
"Sweet, dude!" Cartman leaped out of the car and strutted up to the ticket booth. Kenny followed without comment.
"You know, there is enough time for me to drop you off at home..." Stan had noticed the look of death on my face.
"I'm fine. Besides, Ike's probably got his friends over. A movie theater would be quieter than my house at this point." I attempted a smile. I thought that a muscle from my cheek was going to come out of my eye, but the smile was decent enough. Stan laughed.
"All right, man. Your call."
The scent of popcorn hit me, hard. If it had been a physical punch, I probably would've been in some sort of coma by the time I found Cartman and Kenny. Kenny sat at the end of the aisle. Cartman was to his left, sufficiently preventing me from sitting beside Kenny. This irked me more than Cartman's taunts about Jews being too cheap to buy popcorn.
"Hey Kenny. Ten bucks says there will be a sex scene in the first twenty minutes of the movie." Stan offered the bet.
"Fucking twenty minutes? More like the first scene! Hell no. I'm not stupid."
"Fine. Then if the first scene isn't sex, you owe me ten bucks. Deal?"
"Deal!"
Sure enough, the first scene portrayed a busty blonde chick getting screwed. Kenny cheered, though none of us could be sure if it was for winning ten bucks or because the movie wasn't censored. I pulled my collar over my nose to block out the smell of the popcorn.
"Who the hell would go outside?" Cartman shouted. When someone shushed him, he turned around in his seat, spilling his pop all over the floor. "Hey!" Either he didn't notice or he didn't care. "Don't you shush me!" He turned back around muttering "Assholes..."
"Shut up, Cartman! I can't hear the movie."
"Like you need to hear this crap! She's going to get killed. Her friend is going to- Hey! Who threw my pop on the floor?"
"You did, fatass." I moved my foot away from the spreading puddle.
"What's that, Jew?"
"Cartman, would you shut up already? I've already missed like, the whole scene." Stan complained.
"Why you hiding your face? Are you scared? Aww! Kyle's afraid!" Cartman ignored Stan's complaint completely.
"I'm not afraid. Your popcorn reeks. How much butter did you put in there?"
"Yeah. And why does it smell like nachos?" Stan turned his attention away from the movie for a minute, not that he was able to pay attention as it was. Cartman proudly displayed a mostly empty container full of some sort of popcorn seasoning. My stomach churned, so I pulled my collar further over my face and turned my attention back to the movie just in time to see someone's head rolling across the ground.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen."
"God damnit, Kyle! I can't understand what you're saying! Are you trying to be Kenny now?" Cartman turned back to the group trying to convince him to shut up. "Hey! You shut up!"
I looked over in time to see Kenny walking toward the exit. Frustrated and feeling more nauseous than before, I sunk into my seat and glared at the screen in front of me. I wished Kenny would just say what was bugging him already. That or take it out on Cartman.
Kenny's POV
Kevin was lucky that he was out by the time I got home. I was ready to fucking kill him. I had managed to work it out in my head to where all of this was Kevin's fault. Had Kevin not gotten Kyle high, Stan wouldn't have gotten all touchy feely and I wouldn't have turned into a jealous prick. Kicking Kevin's ass wouldn't fix anything, but it would have put me in a better mood.
I flopped onto my bed and yelled into my pillow. What was I going to do? Kyle was easily my best friend. He was the greatest guy I'd met in all my sixteen years on this shitty planet. How was I supposed to pretend that I thought otherwise? I didn't need to convince myself that I hated Kyle, just that I didn't want to... That I didn't have the thoughts that I had about him.
The only way to do that was to get him out of my head. I had to avoid him for a week, maybe two. It would be tough, but it was the only thing I could think of.
So when morning came around, I ignored the texts I got from Kyle. I didn't send any messages asking how he was doing or asking Stan how Kyle was doing. Hell, I sat around and did homework until Stan's horn blared outside my window.
"You could call, you know." I muttered and checked my phone. It had another text from Kyle. "Sorry, Kyle. This is for the good of both of us." I pocketed the cheap thing and grabbed my parka from the floor. Hanging out with Stan would keep me distracted enough, even if he probably was going to talk about some lame ass thing like football or Nick Cannon.
I shut the door behind me and lifted a hand to greet Stan. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Kyle sitting in the front seat. I thought for sure that he'd be home sleeping off a hang over. Hell knew I'd seen enough idiots high. Most of them were my family.
"Hey Kenny! Want to go to the movies? Cartman's treat." Stan shouted out the window. Normally I'd just lean in through the passenger's side window, but trying to keep thoughts of Kyle out of my head might be a bit fucking hard with my face nearly touching his.
"What're you seeing?" I avoided Kyle's eyes.
"High School Musical 3 might have an encore."
"Fuck that shit!" I made a face and threw my hands up. I'd had enough of that singing and dancing bull shit. Stan laughed. Good thing he was kidding.
"I don't know, man. You coming or not?"
"Yeah, sure." Saying no would raise too many questions I hadn't thought up fake answers for. I climbed into the back seat, keeping my eyes either on the floor or out the window. The minute I sat down, Kyle turned back to face me.
"Hey Kenny."
"Hey." Growing disease kept me from saying more. Though I had tried to not look at him, I still saw him in my peripheral vision. Poor guy looked majorly fucked up. What was Stan thinking letting him come with? There was no way in hell Kyle was up to standing, let alone hanging out at some shitty movie theater.
"Are your parents back?" Kyle was trying to start some sort of conversation. I wanted to talk to him normally, but I couldn't. If I wanted to keep him as a friend, I had to blow him off. So I answered with another short thing.
"Yeah." Kyle turned around, visibly upset. I gritted my teeth and kept reciting to myself some bull shit about this being for the best. During the ride, I'd glance in the mirror every so often to check on Kyle. I told myself it was strictly out of concern for his health, nothing more. The sound of a horn blaring had me fucking jumping out of my seat.
"Oh shit! Sorry, Kyle." Stan groaned an apology. I looked up in time to see that Kyle had covered his ears. Right, hangovers don't respond well to ear-splitting noises. While we waited for Cartman to hobble his fat ass outside, Kyle turned back to me again. My stomach dropped. I wish he'd just give up.
"Hey Kenny?"
"What the hell are you doing? Honking your damn horn like you're some sort of God damned president!" Cartman threw open the door and clamored inside.
"We're going to the movies. After the stunt you pulled last night, you're paying." Stan pressed down the accelerator before Cartman could object.
"Screw you, hippie! You've been hanging out with Kyle too much. His greedy Jew-rat habits are rubbing off on you!"
"Fuck you, Cartman! Shelley was going to kill us!" Stan shouted. Cartman sat back in his seat and grinned, clearly satisfied with the shit he'd caused us.
"What's your problem, Jew-fag?" Cartman directed the question to Kyle after Kyle finally lifted his head from his hands.
"Food poisoning, fatass." His tone was harsher than usual. I told myself it was from the hangover, but I knew that my shunning him sure as hell wasn't helping.
Conversation broke into discussing what was playing in theaters. There were a couple romcoms. Those things were the dumbest shit. There were some kiddie movies and one horror movie. Since everything else sucked, we decided on the horror movie.
"What do you say, Kyle? Ready for the sequel?" Stan nudged Kyle. The two had gone on for days when we'd seen the original. Both would quote things and reenact the scenes. I was gritting my teeth again. The minute Cartman got out of the car, I followed. I was here to distract myself, not to think about how perfect Stan and Kyle were together.
Cartman bought the tickets without complaining too much. That surprised me. While Stan and Kyle stayed back talking, Cartman bought out half the snack counter and picked where we'd be sitting. I sat on the aisle seat so as to avoid the chance of sitting next to Kyle.
"I seriously think we should go as these guys for Halloween, dude. It would be sweet!" Stan chirped on, more excited about the movie than the rest of us. When Kyle only nodded and made some unintelligible sound as a response, I found myself wanting to cheer.
Whether it was to stay farther away from Cartman or something else, the minute Kyle sat down, he moved toward the other end of his seat so far that he was practically on top of Stan.
Hey Kenny. Ten bucks says there will be a sex scene in the first twenty minutes of the movie."
"Fucking twenty minutes? More like the first scene! Hell no. I'm not stupid." I'd seen more than enough horror movies to know that.
"Fine. Then if the first scene isn't sex, you owe me ten bucks. Deal?" Stan grinned, looking confident. Like hell Stan was going to win in a bet against me when it involves naked chicks.
"Deal!"
Before the opening credits had finished, I had won ten bucks. I cheered, sat back, and tried not to look at Kyle. Normally naked women took my mind off things, well, things other than naked women.
I wasn't able to pay a minute of attention to the movie. All that went through my head were things like, 'Why did I sit on the fucking aisle seat?' and 'Why haven't you said anything to Kyle yet?' and 'Fuck doing things for the fucking greater good.' While Cartman and Kyle went back and forth about popcorn seasoning, I got up and left. I planned to come back, I just needed to clear my head, get a drink of water or something.
"What the fuck am I doing?" I leaned against the wall outside the bathroom and sighed. I needed to talk to Kyle. "And say what?" I shut my eyes and tried to keep the frustration from rising any higher.
"Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!" Cartman's voice pulled me out of thought. He stormed off toward the door, theater security further behind him. A few seconds later, Stan and Kyle walked out of the room. Kyle had his head down, face buried in his hands. Stan looked like he was ready to fall over from laughing. I made my way through the rising crowd coming out of the theater room.
"What happened?" I asked. Kyle shook his head, refusing to show his face. Stan clutched his stomach, doubled over laughing.
"Kyle just puked in Cartman's popcorn! It was great!" Stan shouted and patted Kyle on the back.
"Shut up, Stan!" He lifted his head to glare at Stan, face bright red. The poor guy was mortified. And my reaction didn't help. Within seconds, I was laughing as hard as Stan.
"All right, dude! Hell yeah!" I held my hand out for a high five. Mixed emotion showed on Kyle's face. He high fived me then flipped us both off.
"You both suck."
"Come on dude, that was priceless!" Stan called after him. Kyle stormed off to the bathroom. Stan turned to me. "You should've been there, man!"
"Why is everyone leaving the theater?" I motioned toward the theater room the entire janitorial staff was entering.
"Well, uh, Kyle uh... threw up a lot." Stan was biting back laughter. I couldn't help but laugh too. I felt bad for Kyle, but if he hadn't been the one hurling, he'd have been laughing too.
"Awh man." I shook my head. "I'm gonna go check up on him."
"All right. I'm going to go grab my coat." Stan's expression changed to terror. "Oh God. I sure hope it escaped the carnage." He quickened his pace and I laughed all the way to the bathroom. When I got to the door, I put on my best serious face. Knowing Kyle, he'd be hanging his head about this for weeks!
"Hey Kyle." I glanced under the stalls until I found him. Fortunately for him, he was the only one in there. "You all right, dude?"
"I want to die." He answered. I pushed open the stall and stepped into the crowded space. He sat with his back against the toilet, face pressed to his knees. I sat beside him and slung an arm over his shoulder.
"Don't sweat it, dude. Those things happen to everyone."
"Everyone vomits into a popcorn bucket that gets projectile launched to splatter over the whole theater? I must've missed that every other time it happened." Kyle leaned against my side. Despite his words, he was trying to hide a smile.
"You've never been to the movies with Kevin Stoley, have you?" I grinned and Kyle coughed to cover up laughter. He looked up to me, a question clear on his face. I guess I decided against asking it, because he lowered his head again and just smiled.
"So where did Cartman go?" He asked after a while.
"He stormed out of hear like a bat out of a fucking barbeque." Kyle laughed again.
"Fucking nacho popcorn seasoning." He covered his face with his hands again, but his mood had clearly lifted.
"Hey Kyle! Kenny!" Stan's voice echoed through the bathroom. "You guys want to head back now?"
"Think you can manage a car ride without blowing chunks?" I asked and helped him to his feet.
"Fuck you, Kenny."
"Woah, you must be feeling a lot better." I grinned. The look of horror on Kyle's face all but killed me.
"Fuck- I mean! Oh God damnit, Kenny!"
"What?" Stan looked back. He'd missed the exchange.
"Nothing, nothing at all."
A/N:Once again, I am not sure how I feel about this chapter. I wanted to drag out Kenny's attempt at trying to ignore Kyle for longer, but that was really hard to do since the plot freaking depends on their interactions. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Let me know what you guys think. I love suggestions. They help tremendously. Tell me what you guys want to see and it might just happen. By the way, sorry these chapters keep getting shorter and shorter.