Hi guys! First of all, thank you so much for the amazing feedback on last chapter! I was so happy to see that you liked it! :) Hope you know that your words can do wonders to my mood!
This chapter… well, I really hope you will like it! And I think it would be smarter for me to explain and comment things after you read the chapter! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it…

Chapter 13

The perfect place. Check.

The food. Check.

Music. Check.

Flowers. Check.

A dress. Check.

Jane went over the list in his head, hoping he didn't forget anything. Lisbon's birthday was next day and he had arranged everything in the last few days. He changed a couple of things from the original version, adjusting them to Lisbon's current age. Clearly it wasn't her dream to spend her birthday on a beach with Hannah Montana balloons and a jumping castle. The surfers maybe… He wasn't really sure of that.

But with the help of Derek he made everything up and it was all ready for tomorrow.

He pulled his phone out and dialed the detective's number. Over the last few days they had called each other several times, making sure that they had everything they needed.

"Hi Jane, what's up?" Derek answered in a friendly tone and Jane realized that they could have been pretty good friends if they had met in different circumstances. He would have liked Derek if the man weren't dating the love of his life.

"Hi Private!" the nickname stuck on him ever since they started the birthday planning. "I'm just checking up on you. You ready for the Lisbon mission?" he asked, kind of hoping that something came up for Derek so he could be the one to spend tomorrow with Lisbon instead.

"Yeah, all set! I'm not on call tomorrow so nobody will bother us." Derek assured him and Jane repressed any disappointment. This was about Lisbon, and only her happiness mattered. He would suck it up and be a man for her, accepting that he couldn't celebrate her birthday with her. He wanted it to be special for her and it will be, even if he wasn't present.

"Good! I arranged things here at the CBI, she has the day off as well! Though, I have a feeling she's not going to like it at first..." he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she won't complain!" Derek laughed and the smile froze on Jane's face, just thinking about what the detective was implying.

"All right, if anything comes up just call me!" he changed the subject quickly.

"Right, I know!"

"And Derek? Make it special for her, okay?" Jane asked, almost pleading him to do what Jane himself wasn't able to do just then. How desperately he wished he could be the one making it special for Lisbon...

"Of course!" Derek said and Jane wondered if the detective knew about Lisbon and his history. If he knew that Jane was still head over heels in love with her. That he was irreversibly tied to her. That his heart belonged to Lisbon forever now. That he was beyond repair. That he would do anything in the world to get her back. That he wouldn't take the fact that Derek was her boyfriend into consideration if he got wind of it that Lisbon still had feelings for him… He would be ruthless and restless in his fight. He wouldn't play fair.

Ten minutes later he was down in the bullpen, laying down on his beloved brown couch.

The food. Check.

Music. Check.

He began the list in his head but the sound of footsteps interrupted his thoughts. Two, three pairs of feet. Rigsby, Cho and Lisbon, he recognized. The silent chatter of the three got louder as they approached the bullpen. They were talking about the case. Witnesses and statements and a dark sedan… Jane shut the voices of the boys out and only concentrated on Lisbon's soft but confident tone. She was so passionate about her work, so professional. He loved this about her, how she could get completely engrossed in every case. Treating them all as special cases, providing the highest attention possible. They all mattered to her and she didn't stop until justice was served.

"Jane!" her voice brought him out of his musing. "Jane!" he heard her voice from closer now and he could almost see it behind his closed eyelids, her leaning above him, hovering just a few inches. So close and he had to restrain himself from reaching out and pulling her to himself. Kissing her just like he wanted to. "Jane!" she shook him slightly and he realized that he got a bit distracted again. She was still waiting for him to 'wake up'. He stirred and made a show of fluttering his eyelashes in the process of opening his eyes.

"Lisbon... What a lovely sight to wake up to!" he sighed contently and waited for the annoyed eye roll which he knew would come as a response. But to his great surprise she only pursed her lips to keep from smiling and Jane noticed a slight blush spreading on her cheeks.

"Do you want to come and have a 'case closed' pizza with us? We thought about ordering but decided against it, we spent too much time in the office in the last few days..." she said as she straightened out.

"Case closed? What do you mean? You closed the case without me?" Jane asked incredulously, pushing himself up into a sitting position with one quick move.

"Yeah Jane." she grinned at him cheekily. "See, we don't depend on so much. We are capable of solving a case without the wonders of Patrick Jane!" she teased him and he crossed his arms, feigning to be insulted.

"Well, that's... That's probably a one time thing!" he told her and she laughed at him.

"Sure. I would call it police work..." she said and started to walk away.

"W-wait! How did you catch the killer?" Jane asked, jumping up from the couch and jogging to catch up with her.

"Cho found the murder weapon in the trunk of a car belonging to Anita's uncle after interviewing the suspects. He tried to put the timeline together and that's when it popped up that the alibi of the uncle couldn't be right. We checked again and found out that he gave his credit card to his housekeeper to buy groceries and that in fact he didn't have an alibi. Then it was all a piece of cake. We went over the witnesses' statement and guess what, the uncle had a blue sedan just like the one a witness saw leaving the scene...Officers brought him in. He didn't even protest too long. End of story." she told him and Jane scowled. The last thing he remembered about this case was arriving at the crime scene. How could he miss all of this?

They entered the elevator and she pushed the button for the parking lot.

"We are not going to wait for the others?" Jane asked hesitantly, glad of every moment alone with her.

"We're meeting at the restaurant!" she informed him and he nodded.

As the doors closed Jane's thoughts got back to the birthday project. Tomorrow. She would spend the whole day with Derek and he wouldn't even meet her. His heart clenched painfully at that thought. But he wouldn't interrupt their day, he wouldn't be such an ass…

So he had to give her the small present he got her that day. He decided to come back to the CBI for it after the pizza and then drop by at her apartment later that night. But not too late either, because he didn't need another awkward encounter with Derek at Lisbon's place.

Lisbon looked around the small table, resting her eyes on every one of her team members for a second or two. While the guys were counting how many times they found a lead that would solve the case she sipped her beer with a slight grin on her face. Watching them banter and tease each other so joyfully brought a very welcomed peace to her. A comfortable warmth spread in her chest, giving her the feeling that she was at the place where she needed to be. She was happy. And not just in her work, she was truly happy with Derek as well.

As she regarded Jane for a little bit more than the others she noticed the tiny wrinkle of worry or maybe concentration above his left eye. She used to trace that line with her finger to make it disappear when they were still together. Now she could only hope that it would not bother him for too much. She had a good guess what his thoughts were focused on and it made her rather uneasy. Tomorrow will be her birthday and even though she had told Jane a million times that she didn't want to celebrate, that she only thought about it as any other day he always said that a birthday was an important day. She feared what he would do this time after what he did last year. Back then they weren't together yet and now there weren't together anymore... But it didn't stop him from getting her a day off without her knowledge and taking her out for a whole-day-trip. She remembered how she protested when he dragged her out of the office and down to his car, practically kidnapping her, but Jane wouldn't hear any of it.

He kept telling her how it was her birthday and she should enjoy it and that she will love what he had planned for them but Lisbon couldn't help the spreading worry in her stomach. If he had planned something that required an entire day and a longer ride with car, that couldn't mean any good.

"Please Jane tell me we are staying in the country!" she asked and she didn't really calm down when he grinned at her playfully. "Seriously, where are we going?" she demanded.

"Lisbon, how many times do I have to tell you that it's a surprise?" he asked patiently.

"I hate surprises..." she muttered.

"Well, birthdays are about surprises so you'll have to find a way to survive this one!" he shrugged as they speeded down the highway.

"Is this really about me? I bet you only needed a good excuse and my birthday was just coming up!" she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why Lisbon, I'm hurt. But because it is your birthday I won't take the offense and explain your behaviour with nervousness, which by the way is absolutely unnecessary!"

"Yeah, right!" she said and turned towards the window, trying to find out where they were going with the help of signs.

It had taken them a little less than two hours on the highway and by the time Jane turned into a smaller road she was bored as hell.

"Is it a part of a mammal?" he asked, guessing what she thought of in their game.

"No. I don't even know how you came to that revelation." she shook her head with an amused grin. Somewhere around the half of the journey she stopped ignoring him and decided that it would be more bearable if they talked.

"It seemed obvious. An object which could fit in this car, I have seen one in my life, it's connected to animals..." he shrugged as he took a left turn. Lisbon noticed that they were going upwards on a slope.

"Well, it's not. So, another question?" she asked, wondering with a bit of worry where he was taking her.

"Okay... Is it green?" he asked and she huffed.

"Green? No..."

She noticed that the car had slowed down and as she glanced out the window she saw a building not too far.

"Is it brown?" Jane tried again, driving through a gate and towards a parking lot.

"Yes." she nodded but her eyes were glued to their surroundings. There were quite a few cars in the parking lot and she searched for a sign which could tell her where they were going. When her eyes settled on a huge, colorful board though, she wished she didn't know. "No!" she exclaimed.

"Now is it brown or is not? Please decide, my dear..." Jane told her with a grin.

"I'm totally not going to paraglide!" she stated firmly and heard his chuckle.

"I thought you would be a little more open." he said and she glared at him. "What? Come on, it will be fun!" he nudged at her shoulder then opened his door and got out of the car.

Half an hour later they were standing side by side on the top of the hill, their paragliders behind them. The weather was perfect and they could see miles and miles of forests and fields.

"Wow…" Lisbon breathed and let her eyes rest on the gorgeous sight.

"See? I told you it would be amazing!" Jane grinned at her, tugging at the wires a bit to make them more comfortable.

"Shut up!" she told him, but she was smiling as well.

"You guys ready?" they heard the voice of the instructor behind them and they both nodded. "Then hold on tightly!" the man laughed and Lisbon felt herself being pulled faster and faster. Then suddenly, she was rising, leaving the ground behind. She looked around with her mouth slightly agape, the wind blowing into her face as she took in the environment. It was breathtaking. She heard Jane's excited yells and as she turned to look at him she saw his beaming face.

"What do you think Lisbon?" she heard his question floating towards her in the air, a hint of concern in his tone. He was afraid she didn't like it…

"It's spectacular!" she shouted back and grinned at him. "Thank you!"

"Happy Birthday!"

So she really didn't know what he could have in mind for her this year, but she hoped he wouldn't try to top last year.

Just then, their eyes met over the table and she shot him a reassuring smile, hoping to ease any troubled thoughts that were invading his mind. He smiled back, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. She saw his face turn thoughtful for a bit, like as if he was considering her and she felt a slight blush spread on her cheeks. Then she thought she saw some kind of resignation in his eyes which was quickly masked with another charming, signature Jane smile.

"Please excuse me, it's getting late and I haven't had a good nights sleep in days!" he said as he pushed himself up from his chair and fished some money out of his pocket. "Daddy's missing his beauty sleep!" he joked with a grin and everybody laughed.

Lisbon narrowed her eyes questioningly as he walked past her, and she felt his hand slide gently across her back as he said goodbye to the team. For a moment she looked after him, watching as he exited and made his way towards his car in the darkening parking lot.

Jane got into his car and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to get back to the CBI and grab Lisbon's present. But his heart was heavy and he felt like a bullet had just gone through him.

She was happy. She was radiating happiness ever since she was with Derek. He gave her everything Jane couldn't and she deserved it all.
The common saying came to his mind: 'If you really love her, you let her go!'

And he hated to think that it was right. So freaking, painfully right. He had to let Lisbon go, he couldn't be so selfish and keep fighting for her when she was satisfied with her life.

The way she lovingly looked around that table in the restaurant, her eyes sparkling, laughing at every little joke Rigsby or Cho dropped made him break. He couldn't keep going with his ridiculous plan to win her heart back if it would just simply hurt her.

He promised himself he wouldn't stop until she told him to, until she told him she didn't love him. But in that moment he realized that she was too kind and warmhearted to say the words out loud. She loved him, as a friend probably, and she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. She would rather hurt herself than to cause pain to him. Dear Teresa, his lovely angel….

He wanted her to be happy, and if she was happy with Derek or with any Tom, Dick and Harry he would have to let her and not play this ludicrous game of getting her heart back. He had to let her go!

So after taking a huge breath he started his car and drove back to the CBI. He waved to the doorman and got into the elevator, with a new plan already taking shape in his mind. He climbed the stairs up to the attic, two steps at a time.

He arrived and had to pause for a second to catch his breath and then he grabbed the formless package from his bed, wrapped in a nice, blue wrapping paper. He put it on the desk next to the window and then pulled the desk drawer open and took out a sheet of white paper. He reached into his vest pocket for a pen and sat to scribble down a letter for her.

About twenty minutes later, when he was ready he grabbed the package and careful not to tear the paper he attached the letter to the present. Then he made his way back to his car and drove off in the direction of her apartment. He parked a couple of houses down the street so she wouldn't see his car.

Jane was glad to see the lights on as he crossed the street. She was home.
His hand was trembling, the package making a weird rustling as the wrapping paper met the letter. He swallowed and jogged up the stairs to her apartment. When he was standing right in front of her door he glanced down at the present and brought it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the paper. I love you Teresa!, he thought before putting the package down on the doorstep.

Then he knocked three times on the door and ran off as fast as he could. He rounded the corner and hid behind a row of bushes providing the perfect sight of her front door. He crouched down and waited for Lisbon to open her door.

In a matter of seconds she did and he smiled at the confused expression on her face as she looked around. Then she noticed the package and bent down to get it. Jane held his breath as she turned the present in her hands but before he could see her face while she opened it, Lisbon took a step back and closed the door.

Jane let out a disappointed sigh and after a moment he walked back to his car. His steps slow, his shoulders down. He was practically dragging himself to the old Citroen.

He did the right thing. He should feel good, but why did it feel like loosing? Why did it feel this damned painful to let her go?

So, this was it. I know, it's angsty and horribly not what you've been expecting, but I was writing and this is what happened… I really didn't exactly plan on doing it like this either. But, I really hope you like it anyways, and I can promise that next chapter will end happily! Very happily because it will most probably be the last chapter. And I still hadn't decided if there will be an epilogue of not… (There probably will be! ;) )
Your thoughts and opinions would be dearly appreciated, I really can't wait to hear what you thought about this chapter!
Thank you all for reading and reviewing! You know, it means the whole world to me!
Next chapter, hopefully in a week but this time I don't want to promise anything because I have terrible, killer literature and grammar exams this week (I'm really nervous, please keep your fingers crossed for me…) but I will try to fit it into my schedule!
Until then, xxx