Yay. Edward is gone! Just kidding… (about the "yay" thing). Nah… Edward is kinda cool, I guess… I just don't like vampires… They're freaky. I'm more of a werewolf person (duh). Anyway… Something occurred to me a long while back. The name of the story is AWAITING WINTER. In the story, it IS winter (remember the snow in the beginning? Yeah, it's still there. And snow usually means winter). So, there may be some people wondering why the name of the story is AWAITING WINTER if, one, it already IS winter, and two, nothing has been mentioned about the significance of winter to the werewolves (or anyone, for that matter). So, for those of you wondering about that, I'll give you a hint: Pay attention to Raab. He is a rather minor character, but he holds many secrets. O.o

Senses Fail – Sick or Sane (Fifty for a Twenty): "And the white coats just don't get it. I'm a genius with a headache. Am I a little sick or a little sane? Cause I feel a little sick."

Chapter Fourteen—The Return

When I pulled up in Jess' driveway, she hadn't come out yet, so I decided to leave the car running while I knocked on her door. She came to the door and signaled for me to enter. She was holding a telephone to her ear. I listened carefully, and judging by the conversation, it must've been her mother. She hung up and said, "I was just calling Mom to let her know where I'm going to be."

"Okay. So she knows I'm taking you to school and everything?"

"Yeah." She paused, looking at my attire.

"Don't even ask." I said. "I didn't feel like changing."

She laughed and grabbed a duffle bag and her book bag. I led her out to my car and opened the passenger side door.

"Here, just throw your stuff in the back."

She tossed her bags in and I slid the seat back.

"Wow… Nice car…"

"Birthday gift from Vivian."

"Vivian?"

"Oh. That's my mom."

"Ahh." She got in as I went around and got in. On the way back home we mostly talked about things going on in school… until she brought up the subject of Edward Cullen.

"So, what is going on between you and Edward?"

"Uhh, nothing if you're thinking…"

"I'm thinking anything."

"Oh. Well, nothing like that. We're just friends. Strictly."

"Strictly?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… Well, what do you think about him?"

"I just said strictly!"

She laughed. "I know! That's just describing what you think the relationship is. I'm asking what you'd LIKE for it to be."

"What is THAT supposed to mean?!"

"It means, I think you have more in store for the relationship than you're letting on." She smirked.

"Oh, please."

"Come ON, Scottie! He's REALLY good looking and it's like you might as well not even care!"

"I don't."

"Any girl would DIE to be you right now!"

"If they died to be me, then what would be the point?"

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"Scottie! You are turning down the chance to be with a cute, reasonable guy! A cute, reasonable guy that every girl in the school is dying to have and every guy wants to be him, just because he's all the girls talk about!"

"I'm not turning him down because he hasn't even confronted me about taking the relationsh – FRIENDSHIP –" I corrected. "- further!"

"But the question is, do you want it to go further?"

"…No." It took me a minute to think about it.

"Do you think Ryan likes you?"

"Yes."

"What about Mitch?"

"Yes."

"You hate Vivian don't you?"

"Yes." I began to zone out.

"Do you regret moving to Forks?"

"No."

"Have you heard from your dad?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Do you like Edward?"

"Yes."

"And you want the friendship to go further?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying?"

"No."

"HA! You ADMIT it!" She yelped.
Her sudden outburst startled me, and I jerked the wheel by accident.

"Admit WHAT?!" I glanced at her, and then back at the road.

"You just admitted to liking Edward Cullen!"

"What?! I – I WHAT?!" I pulled into the driveway, shut the car off, and got out. I went around to help Jess get her bags.

"You just said to me that you want you friendship with Edward Cullen to go further – to a relationship!!"

"I did not!"

"Uh, YES YOU DID!"

"Did I really?" I couldn't believe it. "No, I must've not been paying attention. I was trying to watch the road and make sure I didn't kill us."

"Well, duh. But you wouldn't have said it if it weren't the truth. You were answering all of the other questions, too!"

We argued all the way to my room (she never once commented on the music that was playing so loudly). She set her bags down and then looked at me.

"Scottie, seriously. I'm not going to tell anyone. I promise. Please, just tell me the truth. I really want to know."

I looked her in the eyes. Her blue eyes were desperate.

"Fine."

"So, you do?"

"Yes…" It really hadn't occurred to me what I was saying. The more I thought about it, I discovered it was the truth:I had feelings for Edward Cullen. More than just for friendship. But, I couldn't allow myself to feel that way. He was a vampire. It was too dangerous.

Jess sat on the edge of my bed.

"Wow… I don't believe it."

I wasn't really paying attention to her. I was too preoccupied trying to force the thought out of my head. I wasn't sure where exactly Edward had really gone, or even how far his mind-reading span was. For all I knew, he could have been listening, and thus… He would already know what Jess and I had been talking about… And my answer…

At least I didn't have to tell him myself, which was good. I couldn't imagine what he would say if I told him that I – a werewolf – had feelings for him – a vampire. That could be tragic. He may be repulsed, and never want to see me again. Or maybe he'd find it funny and wouldn't care. But at the same time, I didn't want him to know (and I never planned on telling him). I was afraid of what he would think, and (not to mention) his family. Alice may not care, but I wasn't sure how Emmett and Jasper would take it. And even worse, what would Rosalie think? She'd probably plot to kill me in my sleep. I made sure my ring was still on my finger, and then looked at a drawer on my computer desk… The drawer that had super glue in it. I looked from the drawer to my ring, and then back again. Finally I change my mind.

I tried to force the thought out of my mind, but it wasn't working. I just hoped that he didn't know, and couldn't hear. I thought surely he couldn't read my mind THAT far away. But then I remembered that he may not even be very far. I whined.

"Oh, come on, Scottie! It's not a bad thing!"

For me it is.

"It's actually a good thing. Since you're still pretty much 'the new kid', this is a good way for you to show everyone that you can have whatever you want, and you're not afraid to take it, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, or every girl would be jealous and hate me, and the guys would be mad that I didn't pick one of them. What am I talking about?! There is NO chance of us getting into a relationship, because I'm not going to tell him, and I'm not going to think about it.

"Scottie? Scottie, are you listening to me?"

"YES, I'm listening."

"If this bothers you, we can talk about something else."

"Yes. Yes, let's do."

The entire weekend was chaos. Every little thing in my house reminded me of Edward, and every time I thought about Edward, I thought about… THAT. When Monday came, everything was STILL chaos. Once again, everything was reminding me of him. I wanted him to come back so much, for the simple fact that I felt practically lost without him. There was nothing to do, no one to talk to (except Jess, who kept winking at me). But at the same time, I didn't want him to come back because A: I was afraid he knew, and B: I was afraid he would find out if he didn't know yet.

By the end of Monday, I was exhausted. I went home and plopped on my bed, feeling both annoyed and tired. Almost as soon as I started to doze off, someone knocked at my bedroom door, and I sat up.

Is that who I think it is?

The door opened and Raab walked in.

"Hey!" I jumped to my feet.

"Hello… I only have a minute or two, so I'll make this quick. Have you experienced anything you haven't been able to explain yet?"

"UHH…" Had he not realized that I had experienced a LOT that I couldn't explain? I gave him a look.

"I mean lately."

"No… And if I have, I'm not sure of it."

"I forgot to tell you, I have something to teach you."

"You do?" I walked over to him.

"Yes. If you concentrate hard enough, you should be able to temporarily disguise your scent. Not all werewolves can do this; only a select few."

"And what makes you think I can do this?"

"Because I CAN, and I'm the one who turned you."

"Well, are you going to teach me, or….?"

"It's not something one can necessarily teach to another, but something one must learn to do on their own with the assistance of another."

"Then assist me." I pressed.
"You must first try yourself."

"How?!" He wasn't making sense.

"Do as I said. Concentrate on the scent of something near you, and breathe it in. Let the scent in and it will fill you (in a matter of speaking), masking your scent and thus making others oblivious to your presence."

He talked so strange. It made me feel as though he was thousands of years old. Then again… he may actually be thousands of years old.

"That's it?"

"Don't let the simplicity of the explanation fool you. It's more difficult than it seems, and your ability to perform it will grow over time. My advice to you is start practicing now." He looked at my stereo. "I have to be going." He turned to leave.

"Raab, how come every time you come, you're always in a hurry? You always 'have to be going' for some unknown reason. It worries me… You haven't always been like this…"

"There is much going on. For one, I am trying to protect you."

"How so?"

"I don't have time to go into detail. But that's the reason I'm always rushing to get here to check on you and then leave again. It's much to difficult for me to explain at the moment. As I said before, I must be going. I will be back soon. Remember what I said to you; be practicing." He turned and left.

I sighed, feeling lost, as always. I wondered why I was always the one being left out of the plan. Everyone always seemed to know what was being plotted, with the exception of me. I returned to my former state of moping.

Senses Fail – Can't Be Saved: "Follow your bliss, it reads on my chest. I know I got it tattooed for a reason. Why can't I just hold it true? Cause I'm still crashing all the funerals of these people that I never knew. I'm stuck in this coma, stuck in this never ending sleep. Someday I will wake up and realize I made up everything. I shut the door and turn all the lights out and listen to all the songs that the night shouts. They go something like this. So, Go fill up a glass with tonic rocks and gin and drink yourself to happiness."