4

Hawkeye almost knocked Klinger and Radar down as the arguing mass of men pushed their way out of the office. Potter bellowed, "Now hold on! Radar!"

The corporal turned from the file that he was pretending to file away as the men came in, "Ah yes sir?"

He walked over to him, "Get on the horn to I Corps and find out if we are to expect any casualties for the next 24 hours."

Radar nodded and said, "And I'll find out if they've already received any of the reports of us missing and tell them that we're home also."

Potter then said, "Oh and find out if they've already...oh right, yes...do all that." He turned back around. "BJ, are you ready? Let's go get this over with." BJ nodded and then Potter shot off one more warning, "You two..." he pointed to Frank and Hawkeye, "go to separate corners until I get back. Oh and that applies to you too Padre. In fact Frank, you take post op duty for the rest of the night."

Mulcahy nodded and the men looked at each other for a second after the other two left before Frank could complain.

Frank huffed, "I don't see why I get stuck with post op," but then left himself.

Hawkeye just shook his head and then asked Mulcahy, "Do you know where Margaret is? Is she still in her tent?"

Mulcahy then seemed to suddenly realize she had left, "Oh, well...she came in with me and was waiting out here."

Radar and Klinger just looked at each other and then Radar remembered, "Oh, uh seems like she said something about needing air or something."

Klinger then said, "She's probably in her tent. I don't think she got as much sleep as the rest of us."

Hawkeye then said as he left, "On top of being wounded herself." He shook his head, "I'm gonna go check her tent. I want to take a look at that wound."

He went to her tent and knocked, but no answer. After turning on the light he noticed all the tissues she had hidden, along with a small amount of blood on a shirt on top of her laundry hamper. His concern started to grow.

As he came back around the corner he ran into Klinger who was just starting patrol duty for the night. "Klinger, have you seen Major Houlihan at all?"

He shook his head and said, "Did you check the showers?"

Hawkeye then answered, "I walked past it, but didn't hear anything. I'll go in and check there, the latrines, and the swamp. Can you check post op for me and the O Club?"

Klinger nodded and the two parted ways. After not finding so much as a clue, meeting up again, Hawkeye said, "Maybe she took a walk over by Rosie's. Cover for me." Klinger nodded and Hawkeye ran off.

Meanwhile, Potter and BJ finished examining the first private brought in that Margaret had left on the helicopter. Potter sighed and said, "This man should never have even been brought to camp."

BJ then asked, "So why was he?" as he laid the sheet back over the man's face. It didn't even take an investigation really. It was clear the man had suffered too severe a brain trauma to have survived.

Potter said as he changed gloves and went to the next man. "He had a pulse. Margaret wrote that she took the next man, one of those who is recovering just fine instead. He had so much shrapnel in him that his bowels must have looked like swiss cheese."

BJ said as he went over to the next man to join Potter. "That's a hell of a decision to make."

Potter nodded and then said, "And its the exact same one you or I would have made. That man there didn't stand a chance but the other man did. She made the right call, whether or not she should have been the one to make it."

BJ said, "Agreed."

Potter picked up the chart and then said, "This one is the one that concerns me. Says here that she had to run out because she heard screams in the compound and left him with the other nurses. Apparently he arrested and after trying for four minutes, they couldn't bring him back."

BJ then said as they pulled the blanket back, "Sir, even if she hadn't left, if we go by Frank, she shouldn't have done anything. She would have just sat on her hands here and watched him die."

Potter nodded and made the first incision in his chest cavity where most of the damage was done. After getting inside they found over 20 pieces of metal all in the lungs. Potter sighed as he moved some things around, "She couldn't have saved this one either. I'm not sure any of us could. Look at his liver." He pulled back more so BJ could see there were even larger fragments there sticking out.

BJ sighed himself, "There's nothing left." He shook his head.

They put everything back and headed over to the last table. Potter read the chart, "Seems she pulled out most of the fragments from his neck, shoulder and chest."

BJ made the incision and they did a thorough inspection. They couldn't find a single place she missed until BJ caught a hole in the back of the heart. He looked up and Potter caught the expression on his face, "You found it?"

BJ answered, "Yeah, back wall of the left ventricle. I'm not sure I would have caught that and I'm not sure how I would have fixed it even if I did."

Potter answered, "Well, I guess we have our answer now as to why he arrested as quickly as he did. However, it could also mean that the hole was minuscule when she initially went in. Had she found it or if it had been us, if we had found it...the outcome may have been different."

BJ then said, "I understand that colonel, but I can't say with any degree of certainty that I would have. It was on the underside. There's no damage on this side."

Potter then said as he started taking off the gloves, "I know that, but sometimes shell fragments have a way of ricocheting and ping ponging around the body once inside."

BJ then said as he replaced everything and then followed Potter out. "I think holding her to that kind of standard is too much."

Potter handed the morgue detail all the forms and then kept the originals as he nodded to BJ and said as they then walked back over to the swamp, "I take it you are on Hawkeye's side in this?"

BJ said, "I know we have to have guidelines and procedures and I know there is a spoken and unspoken rule as it relates to nurses and doctors, but..." They stopped in front of the swamp, "yeah, I'm on her side. I can't image what hell this place was just 24 hours ago. I can't imagine myself being the one in charge knowing that over a dozen lives hung in the balance waiting on my decision. I think she should be commended, not condemned for what she did."

Potter nodded and said, "Agreed. Burns can file all he wants, once I get my recommendations in, they won't mean a thing."

BJ smiled and then said, "I'm sure both Margaret and Hawkeye will be glad to hear that."

The two men went into the swamp about to tell him when they realized, he wasn't there at all.

Hawkeye had just come out of Rosie's hoping to find Margaret, maybe a slightly imbibed Margaret, but a Margaret none the less. She wasn't there and his concern was growing by the second now. He jogged back to camp, checking her tent just one more time before heading over to the swamp. He found the others there.

Hawkeye didn't exactly know what to tell them. He did note that at least Frank wasn't there to claim she went AWOL yet. Potter asked him, "Where have you been?"

He took a deep breath and answered, "Looking for Margaret, I can't find her." He ran his hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes.

BJ asked from the still where he had poured him and Potter a drink, "What do you mean?"

The two men walked over to Hawkeye who answered, "I mean I can't find her, as in, she's not in this camp, as in I don't know where she is or how badly exactly it is she's hurt or..."

BJ then patted his back and said as Potter left, "We'll find her. I'm sure she's fine, probably off hiding somewhere trying to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep."

Hawkeye then asked, "What did you two find out?" He was a little anxious about asking that.

BJ answered as they heard Potter call for Klinger and a jeep, "We found out there really wasn't anything Margaret could have done." He shook his head, "Two of them had no chance, there was just too much damage. The other one, well...let's just say we both agree, she did everything she could. Any other decision would have cost at least two more men their lives and any of us would probably have done the same thing."

Hawkeye took a deep breath as Potter came back in. "I want you and BJ to head out by the road behind the mess tent, that field you guys are always messing around in. Just make sure to stay clear of the mine field that's there. Klinger and I will take the road leading away by Rosie's. We'll take one jeep, you two take the other in case she's not there. Hopefully we'll just run into her as she's making her way back in." They nodded and all headed out.

Margaret had moved way past tired. In fact she was so tired at that point that it was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. Her arm throbbed and her head hurt and she just felt miserable all over. Her steps were coming slower and slower. Everything the men had said, she just replayed over and over in her mind.

The words that struck her the most were from Frank. Of course she wanted to dwell on those from Hawkeye, her loudest advocate, but Frank saying she only prolonged the agony of death for two soldiers, just gnawed and gnawed at her. It went against everything in her, she was a nurse for crying out loud. She should be easing suffering, not prolonging it. Yet, thinking back to all her decisions, she couldn't really pinpoint where she had made a major mistake.

She got to the end of the field and found herself face to face with the warning sign for the mine field. She hadn't really even planned to walk in this direction but merely found herself here. 'Maybe its fate' she thought to herself and slowly put one foot onto the forbidden ground.

Nothing. She took another step. Nothing. She felt like she was playing Russian roulette. 'Fate would be her judge' she thought to herself. She took another step and then another and found herself in the middle in no time.

She started to cry again. She couldn't even do this right. After inhaling sharply again she retraced her steps back and reached that same sign again. At that point she just slid down beside a rather large bolder.

That is where Hawkeye found her. Flashlight in hand he walked calling her name when he thought he spotted her, "Margaret!" He jogged up to her.

She just sat there, her eyes were open but she didn't seem to really register his presence right away. He called back, "Beej! I found her! Bring the jeep!"

He knelt down in front of her, "Margaret, where have you been, I've been worried sick."

She just looked up at him and said very softly, "I just...I needed some air that's all."

Hawkeye was looking her over and said softly to her, "Margaret, when was the last time you got some sleep?"

Margaret barely kept her eyes open as she told him, "I don't remember. Two days ago I guess..." She started blinking. "I didn't want them to suffer...I didn't...I tried..." she dissolved into tears at that point.

Hawkeye moved closer and pulled her into an embrace as she cried, "I know you tried. Two men are alive now because of what you did. You didn't prolong anyone's suffering." He was holding her more tightly now, patting her back as she cried.

She sobbed out, "Yes I did. Frank made it clear, I..."

He pulled her back for a second and said, "Frank doesn't know what he's talking about. I talked Potter and BJ and they told me about those three. You did what any one of us would have done, including me. Don't beat yourself up over this and don't let Frank do that either."

She nodded and BJ pulled the jeep up to them. Hawkeye turned around as he called out, "Margaret! Hawk, is she ok?"

Hawkeye then told him, "Yeah, I think so, but her arm is bleeding. I wanna get an X-ray and get her into OR and take a look at it myself. She's also exhausted." He then turned to her and said softly, "Can you stand up?"

She nodded and then tried to stand, thinking that of course she could stand. Her legs didn't agree and she practically collapsed into Hawkeye's arms. He caught her and said, "Margaret!"

BJ came rushing around the jeep, "Hawk, what's wrong with her?" He moved to her other side as she tried to balance herself and get her bearings back, almost cursing her legs for giving way.

Hawkeye said as he got her in his arms carrying her, "I don't know. Beej, here...help me get in the back or just... help her in beside me. She doesn't have a lot of strength right now on her own."

They maneuvered around and BJ told him as he helped her into the back almost cradled in Hawkeye's arms, "She feels hot, her skin that is."

Hawkeye then picked up her wrist as BJ ran around to drive the jeep back to camp. He said, "I think you're right, she is running a fever. Her pulse is a little slow too and I'm betting her blood pressure is down."

BJ said as he drove, "You think she's in shock?"

Hawkeye then said as he watched her fight to remain conscious, "Yeah I do. When we get there grab an IV and I'll grab a blood pressure cuff. I'd also like to re irrigate those wounds with a local and get her some pain medication and something to help her sleep once she's stable. I really don't think she is right now."

The jeep roared in and BJ helped Hawkeye get her out and move her into the OR. After telling Radar to radio Potter and Klinger that they had found her, he hurried into the room she now lay.

Still barely aware of what was going on she heard Hawkeye say, "90 over 50, damn it. You got that IV?"

Her head turned to hear and more importantly feel BJ as he started it, "Right here. Come on, Margaret, don't go to sleep on us. You can do better than 90 over 50."

Hawkeye caused her to look sharply back at him as he carefully cut off the bandages on her arm. He took a deep breath and said, "BJ take a look at this. Let's get her to X-ray. I want to make sure all the fragments are gone and then we can clean it out again. I'm going to go ahead and give her a local here. No doubt the pain is contributing to her shock."

BJ nodded as Hawkeye got the medicine and injected it into her arm. They then wheeled her into the X-ray room and took the picture. Hawkeye took her blood pressure again. She heard him, "Better, 100 over 60." They wheeled her back and Hawkeye held her hand as they waited for BJ to come back with the film.

He told her, "Just relax now, alright. You're in good hands." He then smiled at her, "Of course if you had ever taken me up on any of my previous offers you would know just how good those hands are." She smiled a little and he continued, "There now, that's what I was looking for, that smile. Just hang in there for me ok? Everything is going to be just fine."

BJ then came in and they looked at the X-ray. He told Hawkeye, "Looks like they got it all, but she could use another stitch or two here..." he pointed on the film, "and here."

Hawkeye then said, "And they're infected. Now that she's stable let's get her some morphine and something to help her sleep. Then we can treat it. She's been through enough in the last 24 hours. Klinger said he didn't think she had slept all that much and she admitted basically the same thing to me before we brought her in." BJ nodded and after she lost her battle to stay awake, they did just that.