Two chapters in one night. I'm on a roll. :D

Chapter Three: The Commander's Dilemma [Shepard's POV]

I'll admit that I was slightly infatuated with Alenko when I first met him. What girl wouldn't be? He's certainly not lacking in the looks department, that's for sure. Dark hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, great body. Besides looks he's also very sweet, great at easing the tension... but I just, I don't know. I see him more as a really great friend, nothing more. However, I've been noticing more and more this doesn't seem to be what crosses his mind when he thinks of him and I. Small, subtle hints only a trained eye would notice. The way he slides a bit closer to me when another man walks by. The little glances he sneaks when he thinks I'm not looking. He's even slipped up a little in our conversations about how I'm beautiful or that he doesn't see how anyone couldn't love me.

The problem is, it's getting worse and worse. I've tried my best to keep from leading him on, trying to hint to the fact I don't want a relationship. I'm not sure whether it just goes over his head or he just doesn't care. I lay down the folder I had just been reading the contents of, my mind not even recalling what I had just read. I can't get my mind off of the Alenko problem or the fact Vakarian is going to be coming onboard any moment now. Ashley teased me something fierce when we left the bar about how we were totally into the other. I can't believe she would say that, given her view on aliens. Apparently it doesn't exempt me from her tormentous teasing.

"Commander, the new recruit is here." Joker announces via the intercom.

"I'll be down in a second." I stand up, quickly checking myself over in the mirror. Hair still held perfectly in it's bun, no hair out of place. My casual uniform stately, no wrinkles. I make a small sour face at it. I'll be glad when we're in space when I can wear my more preferred clothing. It's just that while we're here, I never know when one of the more higher ups may come aboard and will chastise me on my improper clothing. Even Anderson doesn't really care if I wear my own clothing as long as no one outside the Normandy catches me in them.

I move to the elevator pressing the button to take me down. Honestly in a way it feels good to have another non-human on the crew. I feel that it helps me, as a spectre, to show I enjoy the company of any and all races around me. Perhaps it will work in my favor to show that no matter the species I am approachable by anyone for help. Helping people is what I do. It's another reason why I wanted to join in the N7 program. I'd be fighting to save lives. What better way is there to help than to help people across the universe know that their families are safe because we're here protecting them.

I look down at my wrist, studying the scar I've had since a child. It was caused by a hot blade, a mark to show that I wasn't free. I wince at the memory. It's not common knowledge that my parents aren't my biological. They paid a great deal of money to keep it hush-hush about where I'm really from. If they were so ashamed about it, why on earth did they decide to take me into their family? They already had the perfect son. I fight back the tears that threaten to fall. This is not the time for my weak self to appear. It's time for Commander Shepard to greet her newest member.

When I saw him turn and look at me, I felt my breath catch in my throat. I never noticed before just how piercing blue his eyes were. They were like the sky captured in ice, glittering whenever the light hit them just right. I shake myself out of it, smiling as I extend my hand to him.

"It's a pleasure to have you aboard, Vakarian. You have free access to explore the ship and if you have any questions feel free to ask me or the staff. Tali'zorah is in the engine room, Wrex and Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams are down on the lower deck, and Staff Lieutenant Alenko is on the middle deck, near the mess. I suggest you acquaint yourself with them, as they're the other members of our little special squad here." He nods a little. I motion to the pilot bay.

"Our pilot is Joker. No that is not his real name, it's his preference that we call him that. As long as you don't insult his ship, I'm sure you two will get along just fine."

"I'm sure that won't be anything you have to worry about. This ship is pretty damn impressive." Garrus replies, from what I can tell, he's smiling. "I think I'll take a look around, if you don't mind, ma'am."

"Go right ahead and make yourself at home. This is where you'll be staying for awhile anyways. I'll make sure your belongs get transferred aboard."

"Oh don't worry about that. I've got all I need." Surprised by this as I see no baggage on him. Light traveler.

"Oh. Alright." I turn to Joker. "Set a course for the Theseus System."

"Aye aye, Commander." After Garrus has left to go check out the ship and I have checked up with Presley, I head downstairs to mess, feeling a bit famished. My face falls though when I see who I will be joining at the table. Alenko. Well maybe nothing awkward will happen. Maybe this can just be a normal chat over lunch. I take a seat, after shouting to the Chef that I'm starving for a decent meal.

"Hey Commander."

"You know that now we're leaving port, you don't have to refer to me by title."

"Right. Sorry Shepard."

"It's fine Kaidan."

"Can I talk to you about something?" I look around, noticing we're the only two in mess right now. This could be a problem...

"Sure."

"It's about, well I'm not sure if you're interested or not, but I was wondering... see for awhile now, I've liked you. Like... really liked you. More than a friend." Oh no. "And I was wondering if you thought of me the same way."

"Listen Kaidan, I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship right now. There's too much going on." He nods a little, his face showing no disappointment. In fact, it's like he expected this.

"I understand completely. You don't need any distractions right now." He quickly changes the subject to something else, however I realize to my horror, I didn't outright say I wasn't interested in him. I can't just change the subject back to that, it'd be too awkward. Well... maybe this will just mend over or else I'm going to have one heck of an awkward dilemma on my hands.